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Instruction Manuel
May 15, 2007

Yes, it is what it looks like!

Syrinxx posted:

So we're supposed to smoke weed then watch this game play itself?

What, you don't do this for every game you play? :confused:

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Lunchmeat Larry
Nov 3, 2012

SIR FAT JONY IVES posted:

I know, why watch TV shows or movies when you don't do anything?
A better comparison would be a TV show you don't actually watch.

Vykk.Draygo
Jan 17, 2004

I say salesmen and women of the world unite!

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

A better comparison would be a TV show you don't actually watch.

A better comparison would be HGTV: you watch it when you're bored, or in the background while you do other stuff, but you don't go out of your way to watch it. It's interesting, but not fascinating.

Lutha Mahtin
Oct 10, 2010

Your brokebrain sin is absolved...go and shitpost no more!

eh, get back to me when i can watch a twitch VOD of a dramatic speed-run reading of a novelization of the let's play of a zero-player game

New Leaf
Jul 24, 2013

Dragon Balls? Are they tasty?
If they added some sort of tapping component where a number got bigger over time, then goons would be all over it.

My god, why do I just give ideas like this away?! "GodVille 2 - Tapping for Jehova", Q4 2015

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.
So something like RPG Clicker, then?

Dr.Caligari
May 5, 2005

"Here's a big, beautiful avatar for someone"
Has anyone spent money on Pinball Arcade? There table list is impressive, and I had a blast with the free one, but I'm not sure it's worth $4.99 per table.

New Leaf
Jul 24, 2013

Dragon Balls? Are they tasty?

mrkillboy posted:

The folks who made the original Puzzle Quest have a new game called Gems of War, which looks very much like Puzzle Quest.

Coldbird posted:

So far it's very polished, runs well on my Note 4. Gameplay seems to be pretty straightforward match 3, not much innovation. I haven't gotten any premium monsters yet.

It's oddly slow paced, even for a match 3. Most moves don't result in attacks, and every move you make also lets the monsters make one, so you can't just bank a bunch of good potential matches then drop them all at once - the mobs will just throw them at you before then. It seems to feel a bit attrition-ey after a while, but I'm not that far and using the lovely default monsters. The monster abilities you get seem at least halfway interesting, not always just straight damage.

One odd design decision was to consolidate energy and gold into a single currency. Missions cost gold to launch, and you accumulate gold automatically in real time based on which part of the map you're occupying in the story. It presumably means if you don't play for a while, you don't waste 'energy' vs. a cap, but I'm not sure yet if there's any other constraints. You can also apparently spend gold on opening treasure chests, which I guess is good if you don't have time to play on a given day?


I've been playing this quite a bit recently, and I actually really enjoy the presentation. The art is really solid apart from the player character for some reason who seems to be done in a slightly different style, but everything else looks great. The gameplay is balanced and makes sense. It takes a little while to load up- it keeps saying it's Downloading" every time you tap on something but I can't tell what. IAP doesn't seem to be a focus, but I tossed them $5 on a promo starter pack and I don't regret it. It gave me a ton of strong creatures to use and I really don't feel the need to give them any more at the moment. The thing that baffles me is the use of so many Blizzard assets. The PVP system is ripped straight from Hearthstone, from the rankings and stars to how you lose or gain ranks and flashing through quirky options before landing on the right match. And the Guild banner design is ripped straight from the banners in Diablo 3. I know this because I have the exact same design on my account.

Drone
Aug 22, 2003

Incredible machine
:smug:


Dr.Caligari posted:

Has anyone spent money on Pinball Arcade? There table list is impressive, and I had a blast with the free one, but I'm not sure it's worth $4.99 per table.

I dropped $4.99 for the ST:TNG table since I loved it in my youth, and I didn't regret it.

Cryohazard
Feb 5, 2010
Battle Gems is really a rather good game.

For anyone that's just glanced at it and turned away because lovely f2p mechanics, don't dismiss it entirely, and here's why.

1) There's no energy system. Gold is energy, energy is gold, and before long you earn gold faster than you can play. It's a non-factor.

2) Even common (white or the technically "Rare" green) monsters can have broken skills if you use them right. Raise the Dead creates 4 skulls at random and doesn't end your turn. Slam can reduce the entire enemy team's armor by a good 4 or 5 as well as exploding a gem of your choice. Howl reduces the attack of their front runner significantly for very little mana cost. These are at skill level 1. Skills are upgraded along with your monsters!

3) Banners and home cities affect your troops, so a team of 4 area-focused monsters with the right banner get substantial pseudo-set bonuses!

4) You can get purple/legendary units from questlines, no gachapon required. There are orange/epic units but they are rare as balls so don't worry about it, also they are not much better and more expensive to level!

5) Being in a guild gives you tons of free poo poo- invest your gold in guild quests to get rewards like treasure maps and keys. If everyone is pitching in, you end up with returns that make your investment seem trivial.

6) You will never run out of quests. There are hundreds of the loving things, at least 15 per area, with 2/3 battles in each. There are a good 30 challenge levels per area, too, and there are currently 17 areas, so, yeah.

7) You get to be the weapon master! Leveling your mana masteries gives you new weapons at certain points that do all kinds of stupid poo poo! Backstab their last unit, bypass armor, deal splash damage, spray damage across their whole team, explode a gem, eliminate colors from the board, there's a weapon for everything. Your weapon dictates what color mana your avatar uses to attack.

8) No more bullshit +5 skulls everywhere. They're gone!

9) PvP for gold, double your stake (you have to match the possible loot) or go home with nothing. You can trade your PvPbux for stuff depending on the weekly event, and it carries over between weeks. It's also not set at absurd poopsock levels, so you'll actually be able to afford the stuff!

10) Seriously, this game is Puzzle Quest in a way that MPQ just isn't. No essential random drops, no limited inventory, no wait timers, and there's really no need to put any $money in besides maybe forstraigh the Starter Pack.

Today in Battle Gems I noticed my Guild had done a few quests and I started with 6 keys (for monster packs) and 2 treasure maps. I spent 20 minutes just playing the treasure maps (they're like the PQ2 chest game, but more about upgrading treasure than straight looting it) and ended up with so much loot, including a premium key! Fighting one battle costs 60-70 gold, a key costs 1000 gold, so I logged in to 6000 (keys) + 2500 (treasure map gold) + 1000 (login bonus gold and town loot) worth of stuff, not including the extra loot from the maps (PvPbux, souls for monster levelling, some gems).

It's all-you-can-eat Puzzle Quest. And if I know goons, all-you-can-eat isn't an offer, it's a challenge, so come get some Battle Gems.

Dodoman
Feb 26, 2009



A moment of laxity
A lifetime of regret
Lipstick Apathy
I've been playing this weird match-five and gambling hybrid game called Faif.

Its really fun and I can't fully explain why so I'll try and summarise the mechanics. The gambling aspect comes from the RNG picking one of the tiles from the group you selected. There are swords,hearts,skulls and diamonds. You can combine whatever tiles you want in your turn, as long as the total number of tiles is 5 and they are all adjacent to each other. Additionally you need one sword and a skull in your combo if you want to attack your opponent, but if you land on the skull you take the damage instead. The more skulls you have in your set of 5, the more damage you do/receive. You collect diamonds for in-game improvements/buffs/spells and there might be long term benefits after you get to certain levels (I can't confirm that because I still haven't beaten the first boss :v:). The AI plays by the same rules so they get screwed over as often as you do. There's multiplayer as well but I haven't tried so I can't tell you what the experience is like.

The UI is really slick and the music is pretty good if you like kazoos and didgeridoos. It's definitely worth the 2$ the guy is charging for it.

New Leaf
Jul 24, 2013

Dragon Balls? Are they tasty?

Cryohazard posted:

Battle Gems is really a rather good game.

For anyone that's just glanced at it and turned away because lovely f2p mechanics, don't dismiss it entirely, and here's why.

1) There's no energy system. Gold is energy, energy is gold, and before long you earn gold faster than you can play. It's a non-factor.

2) Even common (white or the technically "Rare" green) monsters can have broken skills if you use them right. Raise the Dead creates 4 skulls at random and doesn't end your turn. Slam can reduce the entire enemy team's armor by a good 4 or 5 as well as exploding a gem of your choice. Howl reduces the attack of their front runner significantly for very little mana cost. These are at skill level 1. Skills are upgraded along with your monsters!

3) Banners and home cities affect your troops, so a team of 4 area-focused monsters with the right banner get substantial pseudo-set bonuses!

4) You can get purple/legendary units from questlines, no gachapon required. There are orange/epic units but they are rare as balls so don't worry about it, also they are not much better and more expensive to level!

5) Being in a guild gives you tons of free poo poo- invest your gold in guild quests to get rewards like treasure maps and keys. If everyone is pitching in, you end up with returns that make your investment seem trivial.

6) You will never run out of quests. There are hundreds of the loving things, at least 15 per area, with 2/3 battles in each. There are a good 30 challenge levels per area, too, and there are currently 17 areas, so, yeah.

7) You get to be the weapon master! Leveling your mana masteries gives you new weapons at certain points that do all kinds of stupid poo poo! Backstab their last unit, bypass armor, deal splash damage, spray damage across their whole team, explode a gem, eliminate colors from the board, there's a weapon for everything. Your weapon dictates what color mana your avatar uses to attack.

8) No more bullshit +5 skulls everywhere. They're gone!

9) PvP for gold, double your stake (you have to match the possible loot) or go home with nothing. You can trade your PvPbux for stuff depending on the weekly event, and it carries over between weeks. It's also not set at absurd poopsock levels, so you'll actually be able to afford the stuff!

10) Seriously, this game is Puzzle Quest in a way that MPQ just isn't. No essential random drops, no limited inventory, no wait timers, and there's really no need to put any $money in besides maybe forstraigh the Starter Pack.

Today in Battle Gems I noticed my Guild had done a few quests and I started with 6 keys (for monster packs) and 2 treasure maps. I spent 20 minutes just playing the treasure maps (they're like the PQ2 chest game, but more about upgrading treasure than straight looting it) and ended up with so much loot, including a premium key! Fighting one battle costs 60-70 gold, a key costs 1000 gold, so I logged in to 6000 (keys) + 2500 (treasure map gold) + 1000 (login bonus gold and town loot) worth of stuff, not including the extra loot from the maps (PvPbux, souls for monster levelling, some gems).

It's all-you-can-eat Puzzle Quest. And if I know goons, all-you-can-eat isn't an offer, it's a challenge, so come get some Battle Gems.

You're describing Gems of War. Battle Gems is an entirely different game. If you're not, then someone is gonna get sued..

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=air.com.and.games505.gemsofwar&hl=en
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.battleon.aqbattlegems&hl=en

Alpha Kenny Juan
Apr 11, 2007

Gems of War is not compatible with my nexus 7. :catstare:

precision
May 7, 2006

by VideoGames

Syrinxx posted:

So we're supposed to smoke weed

Every day, in fact.

Poopy Palpy
Jun 10, 2000

Im da fwiggin Poopy Palpy XD

precision posted:

Every day, in fact.

Is there a particular time we should set aside for it?

Dodoman
Feb 26, 2009



A moment of laxity
A lifetime of regret
Lipstick Apathy

Poopy Palpy posted:

Is there a particular time we should set aside for it?

419 or 421

Morpheus
Apr 18, 2008

My favourite little monsters

Dodoman posted:

419 or 421

Hmm, I'm... *checks schedule* I appear to be busy both these times. Got a bit of time in between though, why don't I slot it in then.

Deakul
Apr 2, 2012

PAM PA RAM

PAM PAM PARAAAAM!

New Leaf posted:

You're describing Gems of War. Battle Gems is an entirely different game. If you're not, then someone is gonna get sued..

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=air.com.and.games505.gemsofwar&hl=en
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.battleon.aqbattlegems&hl=en

Why would this result in anyone getting sued?

Exmond
May 31, 2007

Writing is fun!

Deakul posted:

Why would this result in anyone getting sued?

Plagirism, which is very hard to prove. However if I copied your game word for word, code for code, asset for asset, you could sue me.

Cryohazard
Feb 5, 2010
Whoops! I am in fact describing Gems of War.

New Leaf
Jul 24, 2013

Dragon Balls? Are they tasty?

Deakul posted:

Why would this result in anyone getting sued?

See, it was a joke, because he was talking about the wrong game, and the way he described it, it was like he was describing the other game that he wasn't really talking about. Comedy isn't funny if you have to explain it.

1337kutkufan6969
Feb 13, 2010

Oh, Yian Kut Ku!
Where have you been all my life?
Let me break your head.


Grimey Drawer
So, I was looking for an old card-based RPG system that I used to play with one of my friends, and my Google search brought this up, which I will be playing as soon as I'm able.

Dragon Storm is an action-RPG adventure, leaving to find the evil Dark Lord for loose from the seal.
One of the monsters in the fast hand-eye coordination, both removal and see if that helps grow the character. or try to battle with the guardian spirits involved. Items acquired from dungeons and cards are a great help in battle.
Goblins are coming destination in town is just the beginning. The future will have a new monster stand in your way. The best fighter is defeated the Dark Lord.
[Features]
-the weakest warrior becomes the greatest.
-endless dungeon global leaderboard competition with friends all over the world.
-various characters, numerous items to upgrade.
-expedition will bring you precious items.
-various reward for various dungeon difficulty.
-rich in-game cut-scenes and cool and fun epilogue.
-unlocks auto-play options when clear stage missions.

Dragon Storm

mrkillboy
May 13, 2003

"Something witty."
The devs behind Reckless Racing and Space Marshals have a new twin stick shooter out called Xenowerk. I was really impressed with Space Marshals and this looks to be a faster, more arcadey take on that.

Speaking of twin stick shooters, a pretty good port of Geometry Wars 3: Dimensions is also out.

mrkillboy fucked around with this message at 01:19 on Jun 25, 2015

tentacles
Nov 26, 2007
Not sure if this has been covered, Albion Online will be launching its summer alpha on the 29th, in case you want an MMO you can bring around with you on your tablet

Not many details so far but it looks to include farming, foraging, crafting and player housing. Skills are leveled in what looks to be a derivative of Path of Exile/FFX's grid systems. I have no idea why alpha access costs $29.95 but the game launch itself (projected for Q1 2016) is free

Parenthesis
Jan 3, 2013
"Monument Valley" has just been updated with "Ida's Dream" levels for free. They were part of a time limited charity promotion, but is now available for everyone.

mrkillboy
May 13, 2003

"Something witty."
Sega's Sonic Runners, a 2D autorunner/platformer featuring the blue hedgehog is now available worldwide.

I played the game during its soft launch; I found the core game itself to be surprisingly decent and fun, but it was just buried under a avalanche of loading screens and text explaining the "plot" so it takes forever just to get into the game. Hopefully they've streamlined it (though I doubt it).

Shwqa
Feb 13, 2012

mrkillboy posted:

Sega's Sonic Runners, a 2D autorunner/platformer featuring the blue hedgehog is now available worldwide.

I played the game during its soft launch; I found the core game itself to be surprisingly decent and fun, but it was just buried under a avalanche of loading screens and text explaining the "plot" so it takes forever just to get into the game. Hopefully they've streamlined it (though I doubt it).

But does it have epic angry birds in it?

New Leaf
Jul 24, 2013

Dragon Balls? Are they tasty?

Cryohazard posted:

Whoops! I am in fact describing Gems of War.

Don't go back and edit your post or anything, wouldn't want people learning the correct name of the game you lovingly described.. ;)

Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

mrkillboy posted:

Sega's Sonic Runners, a 2D autorunner/platformer featuring the blue hedgehog is now available worldwide.

I played the game during its soft launch; I found the core game itself to be surprisingly decent and fun, but it was just buried under a avalanche of loading screens and text explaining the "plot" so it takes forever just to get into the game. Hopefully they've streamlined it (though I doubt it).

After the initial splash screens, how could there be anything in the way of gameplay other than one screen with "Start" and "Options", and maybe a level select screen :psyduck:

wall monitor
Jan 1, 2007

mrkillboy posted:

Sega's Sonic Runners, a 2D autorunner/platformer featuring the blue hedgehog is now available worldwide.

I played the game during its soft launch; I found the core game itself to be surprisingly decent and fun, but it was just buried under a avalanche of loading screens and text explaining the "plot" so it takes forever just to get into the game. Hopefully they've streamlined it (though I doubt it).

Can't install on a Galaxy S5? Just how much blast processing does this thing need?

Forktoss
Feb 13, 2012

I'm OK, you're so-so
I'm only about twenty minutes into the first dialogue scene before the tutorial level, but I think I'm supposed to catch Dr. Eggman

mrkillboy
May 13, 2003

"Something witty."
Dragon Quest IV is out on the Play Store.

PeePot
Dec 1, 2002


Parenthesis posted:

"Monument Valley" has just been updated with "Ida's Dream" levels for free. They were part of a time limited charity promotion, but is now available for everyone.

It's Amazon's Free App of the Day!

http://www.amazon.com/ustwo-Studio-Ltd-Monument-Valley/dp/B00KA7JIII

Coldbird
Jul 17, 2001

be spiritless

I actually got it when it was previously the Amazon free app, but my copy has yet to update to include these new levels. Not sure if that's because Amazon isn't doing that with their version?

Wish I'd known about these new levels when they were available as a paid charity thing, I would have bought them then.

Veib
Dec 10, 2007


Coldbird posted:

Wish I'd known about these new levels when they were available as a paid charity thing, I would have bought them then.

That was only on iOS, this is the first time they've been available on Android.

Wendell
May 11, 2003

mrkillboy posted:

Dragon Quest IV is out on the Play Store.

I want this, but I don't 18 dollars want this.

PeePot
Dec 1, 2002


Coldbird posted:

I actually got it when it was previously the Amazon free app, but my copy has yet to update to include these new levels. Not sure if that's because Amazon isn't doing that with their version?

Wish I'd known about these new levels when they were available as a paid charity thing, I would have bought them then.

I noticed that too, but got the Ida's Dream levels from the Appstore > My Apps > Updates

Dodoman
Feb 26, 2009



A moment of laxity
A lifetime of regret
Lipstick Apathy
The port of geometry wars 3 is suprisingly good, it even has autofire on by default

Malek
Jun 22, 2003

Shut up Girl!
And as always: Kill Hitler.
So my team lead from work and a few friends are talking about Summoners War and I'm curious if I should take the plunge or what?

Note, on a limited data plan.

EDIT: Vvvv. Yup that's what I meant. Corrected. Sorry about that.

Malek fucked around with this message at 18:50 on Jun 25, 2015

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Zanzibar Ham
Mar 17, 2009

You giving me the cold shoulder? How cruel.


Grimey Drawer

Malek posted:

So my team lead from work and a few friends are talking about Summoner Wars and I'm curious if I should take the plunge or what?

Note, on a limited data plan.

I'm guessing you actually mean Summoners War?

e: I can't help you beyond clarifying which game you mean sadly.

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