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Don't forget the dozens and dozens of transvaginal ultrasounds along the way too- a special brand of horrible those of us with lady parts have to endure. It's probably the main thing putting me off IVF- particularly since it'd likely be someone I know from work doing the scan. The joys of living in a rural area with only the one imaging service! Mind you, as far as I know in Aus, it's still cheaper and faster than adoption 
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Jul 7, 2015 04:02
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Oh for sure, guys have the simplest part of the process, and have been practicing unwittingly since their teens, notwithstanding psychological effects of infertility treatment which is equally hard (or harder if they are a contibuting factor) . Dildocam never bothered me but I've only had 2 or 3 so far. I have a slightly exhibitionist view of medicine though, I think doctors are ashamed of my shamelessness. For me all my thyroid meds will be totally hosed by the hormones process too. IVF is just a big ball of suck in general, amazing that we have the capacity but in no way easy.
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Jul 7, 2015 04:17
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Any opinion on these? I've been off BC for a few months so I figured we should start ovulation tracking at least. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00RBSGHLA/ref=ox_sc_act_title_3?ie=UTF8&psc=1&smid=A10IG442CCQHV5 http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00C8CGK2A/ref=ox_sc_act_title_4?ie=UTF8&psc=1&smid=A2X1ZITIH00L9R The Easy@Home kits seem really cheap.
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Jul 7, 2015 14:43
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nyerf posted:Don't forget the dozens and dozens of transvaginal ultrasounds along the way too- a special brand of horrible those of us with lady parts have to endure. It's probably the main thing putting me off IVF- particularly since it'd likely be someone I know from work doing the scan. The joys of living in a rural area with only the one imaging service! My sister has a little adopted boy, she has a biological son and had always had adoption on her mind for the second (her husband, not the father of the first, is older and wasn't keen on having a new baby). She really wanted a girl and had one chosen out, the work was going through and then, after a couple of years of jumping through hoops, the social services said that she would have to take a minimum of two and a half years off work. She spoke to her job and they said at the absolute most they could do a year and a half without her having to leave, which I thought was more generous than most jobs would be. So, yeah, it fell through and she ended up with a little boy after another four years of work for him. I know to ask people to hand over children willy-nilly is ridiculous but she was in such a good life situation, with money, stable, good family and it just seems so unfair for that little girl. The boy is really happy and thriving, though, after a rough start in life.
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Jul 7, 2015 17:18
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Hcg up from 43 to 640. Looks like this "break" did the trick.  First ultrasound on the 21st.
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Jul 7, 2015 18:08
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Min_sora posted:My sister has a little adopted boy, she has a biological son and had always had adoption on her mind for the second (her husband, not the father of the first, is older and wasn't keen on having a new baby). She really wanted a girl and had one chosen out, the work was going through and then, after a couple of years of jumping through hoops, the social services said that she would have to take a minimum of two and a half years off work. She spoke to her job and they said at the absolute most they could do a year and a half without her having to leave, which I thought was more generous than most jobs would be. So, yeah, it fell through and she ended up with a little boy after another four years of work for him. I know to ask people to hand over children willy-nilly is ridiculous but she was in such a good life situation, with money, stable, good family and it just seems so unfair for that little girl. The boy is really happy and thriving, though, after a rough start in life. Two and a half years? That's insane. Do you know the reasons given for that much time being needed off?
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Jul 7, 2015 18:09
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thrawn527 posted:Two and a half years? That's insane. Do you know the reasons given for that much time being needed off? I honestly can't recall - I know the little girl had issues, but so did the boy, he was very badly neglected, so I can't see how it would be that much different. I just can't imagine any job in the world allowing someone two and a half years off. She'd have to be a stay-at-home mom with a husband whose job was really well-paid, it's just not realistic anymore.
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Jul 7, 2015 20:49
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Min_sora posted:I honestly can't recall - I know the little girl had issues, but so did the boy, he was very badly neglected, so I can't see how it would be that much different. I just can't imagine any job in the world allowing someone two and a half years off. She'd have to be a stay-at-home mom with a husband whose job was really well-paid, it's just not realistic anymore. Just curious, is this inside the States? And was it foster care?
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Jul 7, 2015 21:20
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thrawn527 posted:Just curious, is this inside the States? And was it foster care? It's in the UK, and, nope, the little girl I believe her mother had died and there was just no father anywhere so it was always permanent adoption in mind for her.
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Jul 7, 2015 21:31
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samizdat posted:I'm at the point where we have been to a urologist and reproductive endocrinologist and we are waiting to do IUI. I don't know whether it can happen for us without the medication and physical intervention. The reproductive endocrinologist says that I don't have abnormal results for hormones but still thinks that I might have something wrong, but won't know until they do an ultrasound to check for follicles to see if I have PCOS. My only other symptoms are acne after ovulation (which various tests indicate occurs for me regularly) and scoring low for being hirsute. It's well worth getting the ultrasound and I'm kind of surprised you've seen all of these specialists and not had anyone take a peep specifically for this yet. It was one of the first tests ordered for me. Like you my hormone levels are not elevated and I'm not hirsute at all, but sure enough the second they looked under the hood they were like HEY LOOK check out that PCOS right there. I think there's like 3 symptoms of it and you need to have two, and I just happened to roll the "lucky" dice which meant I had no hormones or externally manifesting symptoms.
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Jul 8, 2015 07:12
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I keep feeling like I'm having symptoms, I've been feeling very sick in myself the last few days, really tired and having a lot of tiny tingly/very very mild cramps in my stomach (that don't feel anything like my period cramps). My period is due mid-next week so I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have symptoms this early, right? It's way too early. They can all be explained away, sick = the weather has been hot and I work in a hot building, and the heat does sometimes make me a bit ill. Tired = I get up at 6 in the morning to go to work. Tingly stomach = one of those things, happens sometimes, maybe leading up to the period? But, man, it's really difficult not to just over-analyse everything my body is doing. I feel really silly. My boyfriend's best friend's girlfriend is having a baby now, supposedly accidentally, and when I see her scan photos I just feel outrageously jealous.
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Jul 9, 2015 17:37
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So I just started my loving period. I was honestly convinced that I was pregnant this time around. My breasts were so sore that I actually chose to wear a sports bra around the house (normally at home I never wear a bra) just for support, I was nauseous for about 2 weeks, to the point that I never actually vomited but I would occasionally dry heave, and my period was 2 days late. I made an appointment with by OBGYN for a fertility consult at the end of August, and a general check up with my PCP so we shall see.
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Jul 9, 2015 21:29
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If you're only legit a few days post ovulation my opinion is any symptoms are more likely premenstrual than pregnancy. 4 weeks GA(approx 2 weeks post conception) on ultrasound isn't even distinguishable from late secretory phase. In the week before your period starts the embryo is just trying to stick to your lining, and if it does it only really manages to put out enough hormone to affect your ovary carrying the luteal body. Maybe. Maybe it doesn't stick, or maybe your ovary doesn't get the message, in which case your period will start as normal. Or maybe it sticks and your period holds off for a couple of days but then the embryo fails, your ovary loses that simulation to maintain your corpus luteum, credits roll on that attempt.
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Jul 10, 2015 04:22
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nyerf posted:If you're only legit a few days post ovulation my opinion is any symptoms are more likely premenstrual than pregnancy. 4 weeks GA(approx 2 weeks post conception) on ultrasound isn't even distinguishable from late secretory phase. In the week before your period starts the embryo is just trying to stick to your lining, and if it does it only really manages to put out enough hormone to affect your ovary carrying the luteal body. Maybe. Maybe it doesn't stick, or maybe your ovary doesn't get the message, in which case your period will start as normal. Or maybe it sticks and your period holds off for a couple of days but then the embryo fails, your ovary loses that simulation to maintain your corpus luteum, credits roll on that attempt. Ah, okay, it's probably just my period coming then. That's a bummer. I may do a test anyway just to be sure - should I test the day my period is due or wait a few days after to see if it's actually late and then test? I'd like to do it in the most accurate time, to save the disappointment. Also, I feel kind of cheated by how little I know. I remember in school just being told that no contraception = pregnancy, nothing really about ovulation, I didn't know that there were only certain times I could get pregnant. It's a massive learning curve now. Min_sora fucked around with this message at 06:54 on Jul 10, 2015 |
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Jul 10, 2015 06:13
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The longer you can stand to wait the better I'd say. Not to be a complete wet blanket, but people drive themselves batty with these early response tests. I see it all the drat time. Soon as they miss day one of the next cycle, test positive (because some of these tests are super sensitive), dash off to the GP and then turn up at my door at GA 5 weeks expecting me to show them a dancing baby on the screen. I go ahead and measure this tiny gestational sac (~10mm average diameter at 5 weeks) and then tell them to come back in 2 weeks, hell- a whole drat month if they can. At nine weeks I don't have to bust out the transvaginal probe unless you're on the wrong side of a 30 BMI. The embryo might even do a little wiggle on the screen for you. If there's no cardiac activity it'll be unequivocal. Testing early changes nothing about whether the pregnancy will go anywhere or not, is my thinking. If you miss the whole period you're still only 5 weeks. Miss a whole period and _two_ more weeks and your embryo is still only ~7mm long. Go look at a ruler and see how tiny that is. Babies take a drat long time to grow, and so, so many steps have to go the right way before they're born. So many dice rolls. So what's a few more days? As an aside about early ultrasounds: Doing an internal scan even up to the 7 week mark doesn't even guarantee we'll see cardiac activity, even if we see an embryo. The only thing that it'll help with is to determine whether there is a gestational sac with presumed embryo inside your uterus and not in a fallopian tube or outside the uterus. If you're higher risk for an ectopic or have pain +/- bleeding, or have absolutely zero idea how far along you really are, or suspect multiples, early scans before 8-9 weeks are definitely useful. But it's no guarantee of a live birth. If you know your dates accurately and your cycles are regular and you know when you ovulate, most of the time ultrasound will date you to within a week to 3 days of your expected due date anyway. A scan at 8-10 weeks should give enough of a confirmation to book the 12-13 week nuchal screening scan, and you'll see something bigger than a static baked bean at least. Good luck to everyone. I'm coming up to day 12 of our fifth month trying, and looks like left ovary is up again for like the third time in a row! I was right about last month. Starting to feel like maybe my suspicions about our potential sub-fertility/infertility may well be right. At least birth control won't be much of a worry in the years to come, if this is anything to go by. Had a patient today who'd had 5 pregnancies and 5 Caesarean sections by the age of 25. And up until a year or two ago they had been trying to conceive number 6. I was somewhat ambivalent about that, heh. nyerf fucked around with this message at 13:50 on Jul 10, 2015 |
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Jul 10, 2015 13:47
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nyerf posted:The longer you can stand to wait the better I'd say. Not to be a complete wet blanket, but people drive themselves batty with these early response tests. I see it all the drat time. Soon as they miss day one of the next cycle, test positive (because some of these tests are super sensitive), dash off to the GP and then turn up at my door at GA 5 weeks expecting me to show them a dancing baby on the screen. I go ahead and measure this tiny gestational sac (~10mm average diameter at 5 weeks) and then tell them to come back in 2 weeks, hell- a whole drat month if they can. At nine weeks I don't have to bust out the transvaginal probe unless you're on the wrong side of a 30 BMI. The embryo might even do a little wiggle on the screen for you. If there's no cardiac activity it'll be unequivocal. I know you're right, I think it's just because my boyfriend is away and I'm at home alone over-thinking and being impatient. I haven't even missed a period yet, I need to sit back and calm down. I'm going to try and keep myself occupied with work and studying for a while. Anyway, I had some cramps today that felt a little pre-period-y, so I may be getting my hopes up for nothing either way. I'd like it, but I know I shouldn't get excited so soon. Thanks loads for the advice, I didn't know it could potentially take so long, it gives me peace of mind - at least in terms of the fact that I could still be pregnant, although I didn't know it could just not work so easily. Min_sora fucked around with this message at 19:50 on Jul 10, 2015 |
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Jul 10, 2015 18:45
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I went through a lot of symptom obsession. In the short term I don't think it does any harm and it's normal to be excited and fluttery - when it works you'll be batting away squealing old ladies with a stick. Once you hit a few months then I think focusing on every little change month to month is just building expectations and opening yourself to disappointment. Whether to test the day after, week after or even two weeks later is related to that expectation setting, I think. I tested a couple of times when I was a day or two late but for me it was an expensive let down rather than a cheap thrill. Now I only test now when I am late and also have a night out planned, and at this stage that's more precaution than genuine hope.
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Jul 11, 2015 03:35
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When I first started trying, I thought every little thing was a symptom. I don't think I've ever paid more attention to the color of my nipples in my life. I'd read blogs and forums and hear about weird symptoms and things. Then right before my period started I'd get all psychosomatic. If I read something that said some people get a metallic taste in their mouth when they were first pregnant, I'd spend a couple of days wondering if my mouth tasted like pennies. I'm really trying to cut down on all that. There was one month when I kept thinking to myself "It's just PMS, It's just PMS" and when my period actually stated, I was ok. A different (later) month I really thought it might be real, and I started really hunting for symptoms (to the point where maybe my brain was filling in some symptom gaps for me) and when my period started then I was extremely sad for a day. Right now I'm really focusing on enjoying my non-pregnant life for however long it lasts (but still secretly hoping it doesn't last too much longer).
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Jul 11, 2015 04:24
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nyerf posted:The longer you can stand to wait the better I'd say. Not to be a complete wet blanket, but people drive themselves batty with these early response tests. I see it all the drat time. Soon as they miss day one of the next cycle, test positive (because some of these tests are super sensitive), dash off to the GP and then turn up at my door at GA 5 weeks expecting me to show them a dancing baby on the screen. I'd agree with this in the general sense and after 19 months I don't even have tests in the house anymore. But equally I also know someone who got pregnant for the first time after 3 years who tested positive after she was 2 days late, and on her visit to the GP was immediately put on progesterone pessaries as her levels weren't rising as strongly as usual and they thought she might miscarry. Luckily it all worked out and shes's about 15 weeks pregnant now.
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Jul 11, 2015 08:24
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Good luck to everyone and myself going through this fertility bullshit. I want to impart a bit of wisdom from someone who has not gone through this for years like others have, but am coming up to 9 months of fertility treatments and am in yet another 2 week wait. 1. Don't tell women to not stress. It's like telling someone "If you stress out, you will die, so don't stress out". Certainly don't tell them that it's causing their inability to get pregnant or makes it worse. There are studies that say it matters, there are studies that say it doesn't. Many of them have a biases like "the women without stress reduction treatments who got pregnant dropped out so we couldn't measure them". Either way, be calming, allow people to feel whatever they are feeling without dictating their emotions. It's lovely. Allow them to feel lovely. Especially if they are jacked up on hormones for yet another disappointing month. Women get pregnant through horrible situations like extreme financial issues, rape, and being in a war zone. Don't blame the women for their inability to get pregnant because of their emotions. Studies have shown this is as stressful as cancer. 2. If you don't believe your doctor, YOU NEED TO FIND ANOTHER ONE. I spent 5 years not having a kid because a Reproductive Endocrinologist told me that I would be ok to wait after taking just an FSH test. Here I am, 37 and fertility treatments. Question everything and don't be afraid to be "that patient". They get it a lot and as long as you are respectful, you'll be ok with questioning everything. 3. The internet is your friend and your worst enemy. You can do a lot of good in finding things to do (I increased my uterine lining from 7mm to 10mm by taking vitamin E which I found from one study). But studies will prove anything and can/will perpetuate your worst fears. Even if you have a specific diagnosis, you are not a statistic and you are not the same as everyone else. Try and learn as much as you can so you can question and know when things are working well and when you have to ask about something different. But also know when to stop researching if the information is making you freak out. No one likes to freak out. 4. Some forums are better suited than others and some will make you feel badly about yourself. Support groups are the same. If you need one, which you might because it's nice to know you aren't alone, find one with similar issues as you. Otherwise, if you are heavily in fertility treatments, you get pissed at all the women who say, "Oh, I only had to relax, stop treatments and take a vacation after 3 months and it happened." Or if you're early in treatments, you'll be terrified by the ones who say, "I've been trying for 7 years, had 6 IUI's, 3 IVF's and had one pregnancy and miscarried and never was able to get pregnant again. I'm just coming to terms with being childless for the rest of my life." Stay within your own ranks. That way if someone does get pregnant, it might give you hope. There's a lot of stupid information on the forums, they don't always know wtf they are talking about. 5. Make efforts to take care of yourself, not because you might increase fertility but because you have to take care of yourself. (It gets super disappointing when yet another thing you tried hasn't resulted in being pregnant.) Maybe that's therapy, maybe acupuncture, maybe exercise to take out some of the adrenaline in your body, maybe buying yourself flowers. For you girls who have PCOS- I've lost 15lbs in 3 months on Metformin and cutting some carbs. Carbs=insulin=testosterone=worse PCOS. Also, the most encouraging 2 studies I've read were that women with PCOS still have a 95% fertility rate compared to the rest of the population, just with more trying time, and the other was that women with PCOS have more eggs and as you get older, your cycles get more regular and you still have more fertility time than others because your eggs don't degrade as fast as "normal" people. Those are my words of advice. You try and make meaning through what you're going through and this is my way of doing that. Rosehip fucked around with this message at 09:15 on Jul 11, 2015 |
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Jul 11, 2015 09:03
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samizdat posted:I'm at the point where we have been to a urologist and reproductive endocrinologist and we are waiting to do IUI. I don't know whether it can happen for us without the medication and physical intervention. The doctors both say that my husband's motility isn't that bad. The reproductive endocrinologist says that I don't have abnormal results for hormones but still thinks that I might have something wrong, but won't know until they do an ultrasound to check for follicles to see if I have PCOS. My only other symptoms are acne after ovulation (which various tests indicate occurs for me regularly) and scoring low for being hirsute. Have you done and HSG (xray to see if there are blockages)? That's step 2 before starting your IUI. You are just throwing away your or insurance money if you have a blockage of some sort. (FYI, ultrasound can't determine fallopian tube blockages.) Get this done while you are waiting for your next cycle. Have they done the other basics of insulin levels, TSH/T4, or anything else? Apparently going off the LH:FSH ratio doesn't always determine anything with PCOS (it should be 1:1, but LH will usually, but not always be elevated in PCOS). Also, insist on getting a blood test before your period comes due when doing Femara or at least take a home pregnancy test even when you think you get your period. Many have mistaken implantation bleeding for their period and Femara gives you birth defects if you take it when you are pregnant. Be happy they are starting you on Femara instead of Clomid. Clomid turns you in to a hormonal nightmare. (I just realized that you might have been on Clomid which is why they wanted you to take a month off. That's normal. Clomid takes 6 weeks to get out of your system.) Just an FYI, IUI can really work for some people, but it's only between 15-25%. This isn't to freak you out an insist it isn't going to work, but know that you may have to do it a few times before it does and just keep at it. Rosehip fucked around with this message at 15:58 on Jul 11, 2015 |
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Jul 11, 2015 15:53
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Thanks for posting , Rosehip. I'm scared to start fertility testing- I'm very overweight, and while my doctor says i'm healthy enough for a baby (and of course wants me to lose weight), it is a long and hard process to do so. I'm scared to go and be told i'm just a fatty. So finding the right doctor is good advice- we haven't been seriously trying in awhile and will start again soon (stupid work schedules). I hate cringing everytime I see someone get pregnant on my fb.
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Jul 12, 2015 05:59
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Tamarillo posted:It's well worth getting the ultrasound and I'm kind of surprised you've seen all of these specialists and not had anyone take a peep specifically for this yet. It was one of the first tests ordered for me. Like you my hormone levels are not elevated and I'm not hirsute at all, but sure enough the second they looked under the hood they were like HEY LOOK check out that PCOS right there. I think there's like 3 symptoms of it and you need to have two, and I just happened to roll the "lucky" dice which meant I had no hormones or externally manifesting symptoms. So in theory, if you don't have the elevated hormones and all the blood tests (and physical symptoms/pee tests) seem to indicate that you ovulate, if you have multiple cysts on your ovaries do you really have PCOS? Is it enough to just have the cysts to say that you've got PCOS? I'm miffed that we had to skip this cycle and the doctor doesn't want to do an ultrasound unless we are doing IUI that cycle, as I'd like to see what is going on. I'm now pretty much convinced that I have an androgen issue after my doctor mentioned it and keeps being surprised by my results. I wasn't insulin resistant, I apparently ovulate, and none of my hormones seem to be out of whack. But my doctor says that I "look" like I have it, due to having more fat around my middle than seems to make sense (I'm skinny everywhere else) and my weird hair—it's not dark or thick, but it's there and my doctor says that's enough reason. He is an expert so I'm willing to believe him, he has written journal articles and is a professor at a local university. Doctor says metformin won't do much for me, and doing IUI makes it sort of pointless anyway. I'm waiting for my period to start so we can get moving, my husband has to go across the country for more training in a month and will likely be deployed soon after so I've had to ask about freezing sperm—it would add another $1k to the cost of IUI each time we need it (our insurance doesn't cover the actual procedure, just the non-injected medication and maybe the ultrasounds). drat. I wish we could have a free baby. This sucks. I've started taking myo-inositol because it's supposed to be good for PCOS. It might take a few months to notice a difference but I hope it helps with my physical symptoms even if I'm not having hormonal proof on paper. I take 4x 750mg split into two in the morning and two at night. My source for this: https://sites.google.com/site/miscarriageresearch/supplements-and-miscarriage/d-chiro-inositol
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Jul 13, 2015 02:31
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Rosehip posted:Have you done and HSG (xray to see if there are blockages)? That's step 2 before starting your IUI. You are just throwing away your or insurance money if you have a blockage of some sort. (FYI, ultrasound can't determine fallopian tube blockages.) Get this done while you are waiting for your next cycle. Have they done the other basics of insulin levels, TSH/T4, or anything else? Yeah, I had an HSG in May. I did an array of insulin tests, including drinking the nasty orange sugar water. I have had a lot of blood work done to the point where I don't remember anything off the top of my head. It includes stuff like DHEA, etc. My doctor wants to do Femara because my mother died of breast cancer at 38. I've never been on Clomid, if I kept doing things at the base gynecologist then they would have just given me Clomid (no IUI there) while doing "timed intercourse." But we wanted to do IUI because we don't really have time/physical location on our side—my husband is in the military and they really like to put him in remote places. There was also issue of my husband's sperm motility, which seems to be less interesting to my doctor than my probable PCOS. (PCOS is his specialty.) The medication they wanted me off of was the lowest dose of clonazepam, which I had been assured was okay to take while trying to conceive by another doctor but the RE didn't like the category it is in. At this point the RE could tell me to do anything and I would do it, no questions asked. This includes murder! I know IUI doesn't guarantee anything but if it gives us a chance to have a normal opportunity to conceive then at this point, that's very good to me. I've also heard of people conceiving soon after their failed rounds due to effects of the medication. IVF is totally unaffordable for us so this is our only chance at assisted reproduction.
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Jul 13, 2015 02:51
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samizdat posted:So in theory, if you don't have the elevated hormones and all the blood tests (and physical symptoms/pee tests) seem to indicate that you ovulate, if you have multiple cysts on your ovaries do you really have PCOS? Is it enough to just have the cysts to say that you've got PCOS? Yeah apparently the hormones aren't the only part - which is weird because if it's not hormones being stupid then what exactly is causing it? Anyway, from random poo poo I found online: To be diagnosed with the condition, your doctor looks for at least two of the following: - Irregular periods. This is the most common characteristic. Examples include menstrual intervals longer than 35 days; fewer than eight menstrual cycles a year; failure to menstruate for four months or longer; and prolonged periods that may be scant or heavy. - Excess androgen. Elevated levels of male hormones (androgens) may result in physical signs, such as excess facial and body hair (hirsutism), adult acne or severe adolescent acne, and male-pattern baldness (androgenic alopecia). - Polycystic ovaries. Polycystic ovaries become enlarged and contain numerous small fluid-filled sacs which surround the eggs. I have symptoms 1 & 3. I apparently do ovulate sometimes but essentially my ovaries just go "gently caress yeah gonna make me some EGGS" and instead of making 1-2 they often try to make like 20, run out of steam and don't finish any of them. That's what they're referring to with the 'cystic' part, and on an ultrasound they refer to what it looks like as a "string of pearls". You can also get actual cysts which can need surgery to remove. I really don't understand their reluctance to do an ultrasound. It is a fast procedure. Someone shoves a wand up your bits and takes a look at a certain time in your cycle and that's that. It cost me $250 of my funny money, can't cost much more/less elsewhere surely.
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Jul 13, 2015 08:44
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Cycle day 14 and strongest ever double LH lines this morning! Here we go again 
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Jul 13, 2015 23:45
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Do you guys have any advice for the pre-trying stage? Like, good books to read or ways to guess if I'm going to have fertility issues? Husband and I are 28 and want to have a kid in a couple of years but I'm worried I'll have trouble with conceiving. My grandparents all had fertility issues - 4 years/conception for Catholic maternal grandparents, 15 years for the first conception then two extremely premature pregnancies (one viable) for my heavy drinking/smoking paternal grandparents. Plus it took my mom 6 years to conceive me after my brother, though my brother was easy. So basically, I feel like it's going to take me 5+ years to get pregnant and I'm nervous about waiting to go off my IUD for another 18 months, at which point I'll be nearly 30 and hoping to immediately conceive. There's some schizophrenia in my family so I don't want to risk having a baby after 34, so I feel like there's a time crunch. But I'm not going to finish my PhD until Dec 2016 and want to lose some more weight and run a marathon before we try... I'm overweight (no longer obese!) and fairly active (run 10-15 miles a week), so I guess that's a wash. I have had hormonal IUDs so I haven't had a real period in 7 years. I think I was mostly regular enough before? Don't smoke, don't drink more than 2-3 drinks a week, but have a lot of occupational exposure to anesthetics and solvents in grad school. I'm just a really anxious planner and it happens that most of my friends that have tried for kids have struggled with infertility, so it feels like waiting is foolish. But waiting is also beneficial!
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Jul 14, 2015 16:00
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Your grandparents fertility issues might not be as big of a deal as you might think they are depending on what cause them. It could have been an RH factor issue that use to be a big deal but isn't a big deal anymore. I know my husband's grandmother had issues with getting pregnant and bringing a pregnancy to full term because of that, but by the time she got pregnant with his mom, all she needed was a shot. (She had his mom in her 40's) It might be worth investigating if that could have been the problem so you don't worry yourself about it.
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Jul 14, 2015 16:25
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Yeah there isn't much planning you can do this far in advance so I wouldn't worry about it too much. Being fit and healthy are the most important steps you can take now and obviously you are well on top of that at the moment so keep that up. I'd aim at getting your IUD out 3-6 months before you want to start trying so your body has a bit of time to adjust and you get an idea of where your cycles are at. If you're a planner (like me!) then that'll be reassuring. Once you've done that part it'll also be worth it to go and have a good medical once over. Make sure your smear test is up to date and all ok and check that you have all the relevant immunisations topped up before you get pregnant (a lot of things do need an adult booster from time to time but people just don't get them because they are not funded). Also start taking folic acid about 2-3 months before starting to try as having your levels up before you get pregnant is considered beneficial. Other than that just don't worry about it too much as there's pretty much nothing you can do in advance of any issues anyway and you might just end up conceiving without problems. Also don't read about conception issues online. People who don't have problems don't spend time on the internet posting about it so the view can be very skewed and just make you feel bad. Again why worry when there's nothing you can do about it until you've tried? We've had our share of issues but I don't think I'd recommend too many books unless you do run into problems. Although a book on "other fun ways to gently caress when you're doing it A LOT" might have been helpful. 
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Jul 14, 2015 21:50
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These are the things you can get checked out before you start trying if you want to. You can get them done when you get your regular pap smear and you can cite family history of infertility as the reason you want to get them tested. Be insistent. If you have "regular-ish" periods, start charting them before you go to the doctor. You need to know number of days. If you have longer periods, the doctor may want to rule out PCOS as well, (they can usually be confirmed with those tests if they need another reason why they're ordering it.) http://www.marieclaire.com/health-fitness/news/a14867/fertility-exams-routine-care/
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Jul 15, 2015 00:33
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How many days late does a period have to be in order to be considered actually 'late'? Because I know they aren't always going to start smack dab on the same date every month. I just wanted to know when I should actually be concerned about it.
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Jul 16, 2015 19:34
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The first day you bleed is day one of your cycle. Start counting days until the first day of the next period and you have your cycle day length. Track this over a period of months to see if it varies much. +/- 3 days and you could be reasonably considered to be 'regular'. It won't follow calendar dates because obviously not every month has the same number of days. What you want to call late is up to you, like I said before- some people are so regular they could test on day 16 post ovulation and turn up positive. E: The '2 week wait' refers to your luteal period which usually is pretty consistent in a normal lady, and goes from ovulation to day one of the next cycle. Typically 14 days, but each individual could be different by a day or two. What can vary more per cycle is time to ovulation, so a longer cycle may be from ovulating later. For example my cycle averages 29 days, but that's because they're as short as 28 days or as long as 32. If i ovulate on day 14, 28 days. If day 16, 30 days. E2: don't get confused between cycle day number and 'days post ovulation'. DPO is just a way to avoid having to say cycle day 30, 27, etc I guess. I dunno why it gets used, it's one of those things. Fertility talk doesn't seem to like numbers over 20 it seems. nyerf fucked around with this message at 22:50 on Jul 16, 2015 |
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Jul 16, 2015 22:40
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nyerf posted:The first day you bleed is day one of your cycle. Start counting days until the first day of the next period and you have your cycle day length. Track this over a period of months to see if it varies much. +/- 3 days and you could be reasonably considered to be 'regular'. It won't follow calendar dates because obviously not every month has the same number of days. What you want to call late is up to you, like I said before- some people are so regular they could test on day 16 post ovulation and turn up positive. This is my first cycle off birth control so I imagine that's why it's a bit wacky. I remember my cycle before the implant being very consistent, usually a month (about 29/30) to the day, maybe it has just been thrown out of whack. I'm 3 days off now but keep getting very familiar period-like cramps, so I do think it's coming, just have to wait. Can birth control change your cycle after you've come off it? As in, could I end up having a longer cycle now than I had in the past? I'm sorry if I sound stupid, but I'm really learning a lot here. Min_sora fucked around with this message at 19:20 on Jul 17, 2015 |
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Jul 17, 2015 19:10
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Hey there everyone. I finally got through this whole thread, and the whole group here seems crazy helpful and understanding and the whole works, so I guess I just want to drop my situation on you guys, and you can tell me if I'm being dumb. I'm 27, and my husband is 30, and we got married last summer. We want to have a family, but I'm in school. I'm in an engineering program that's set to take me five years total to complete, with one year already under my belt. Two more years from now, we'll be moving to Madison, about a two hour drive from here, for me to take The Hard Classes. We've talked about it a lot, and it seems like the only plan that makes sense for us it to try and have a baby next summer. Putting aside the fact that people don't always instantly get pregnant at their personal convenience, we're pretending it'll work out instantly since three of my siblings managed to get pregnant by accident. But what's prompting us to shoot for next summer is a couple reasons: our families both live here, and it would be really nice to have them around to help out for that first year. I'm scared of waiting the four years to finish school, then starting a new job, then having to wait another year or two to build up a reputation/time off to get pregnant, and I despise the idea of having to wait six more years. Plus my husband is afraid the longer we wait, the more likely he'll pass on his asthma which he had when he was younger to our spawn. I don't know too much about that, personally, but I guess it's there in the background of concerns. The downsides, of course, include the fact that I'm in school for something that can only be incredibly complex, and will I/we be able to handle baby and school? Plus our current income isn't exactly a shining example of wealth. He's managing the plumbing/electrical portion of a local hardware store, pulling in about 17k a year after taxes, and I've got a job on campus netting me somewhere between 10 and 12k a year. And I mean, we're okay. I'm an incredibly stingy person. There's no credit card debt to speak of, and since we got married, we used all of the gift money and everything we could save for many months to beat the crap out of my husband's old school loans from his, sadly, failed attempt at higher education 12 years ago. So there's one more left to pay off, for $8k, which we plan to do at the end of this summer, and then we'll just be back to square one, with about 3k in the bank but no debts whatsoever to speak of. And finally, I don't have insurance. I lost my parents' when I turned 26, obviously, and my long career of retail wonderment had zero to offer in the way of insurance. My husband has really crummy insurance through work, but when we looked into adding me on, it would have cost us another $200 every month. We thought that was preposterous, so I've just gone without. And yeah, I did check the healthcare marketplace, and it came to roughly the same, because they told me to put in my husband's income also, so apparently we look far richer than we are. So there we are. We're very good with money, I think, but we just don't have a lot of it. We want a family, but there's school and income and insurance to worry about. I could wait until I've settled in my career, but the idea of waiting six more years just makes my insides shrivel up with sadness. Is it foolish to want to try for next year? Does the only way of knowing that you're ready to have a family involve staring at your bank account and seeing five figures? If I should be dumping this into some sort of financial based thread, I am so sorry for throwing this at you all. But I appreciate your time regardless.
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Jul 17, 2015 19:53
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I don't know about really juggling school and a baby or the insurance (I'm from the UK) but in terms of salary, honestly, it's not overly a consideration for me. We don't earn a lot, my boyfriend earns minimum wage, me more but I'd have time off to have a baby - we may even move back to his country when we have it so we wouldn't have work for a while but I do know that our families would support us for a little bit and we would have a bit of savings to get by on. I know some people want to be financially stable and that's great but I just think it never overly occurred to me because my family are poor and have plenty of kids and always find a way to get by. I would definitely say, though, that we have a big family support net, which is what eases my mind. If I didn't have them, I would be more hesitant.
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Jul 17, 2015 21:56
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If nothing else, I would make sure you have insurance coverage before getting pregnant. Prenatal care & delivery is expensive for a low-risk, no problems pregnancy. If you or your baby have an issue, need a c-section or need time in the NICU....let's hope to god you have insurance.
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Jul 18, 2015 00:40
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GoreJess posted:If nothing else, I would make sure you have insurance coverage before getting pregnant. Prenatal care & delivery is expensive for a low-risk, no problems pregnancy. If you or your baby have an issue, need a c-section or need time in the NICU....let's hope to god you have insurance. Yeah, I absolutely agree with that. Now that we're not paying $300 a month toward school loans, we're probably just going to have to suck it up and replace those payments with insurance ones, however crummy it is. And luckily, our families are really supportive as well. That's one of my biggest factors for wanting to go for next year. I can't imagine the kind of stress that would come with being in school for that first crazy year of life and having no other family around to help us out.
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Jul 18, 2015 01:20
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CallingYouARadical posted:And luckily, our families are really supportive as well. That's one of my biggest factors for wanting to go for next year. I can't imagine the kind of stress that would come with being in school for that first crazy year of life and having no other family around to help us out. This is really, REALLY important. Money (salarywise, I can't speak for the health care insurance aspect, I'm not in the US) will work itself out - it sounds like you're used to and good with budgeting. But you can't buy the completely invaluable help and support, both practical and emotional, that having family close by would give you - not to mention the joy from them getting to share in the first year of your childs life up close and personal, not just through pictures on facebook. I say get the health insurance issue sorted out, then go for it 
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Jul 18, 2015 08:08
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Yeah I reckon give it a shot. You'll just need to make sure you can get some quiet time to study. It won't be the easiest thing in the world, but there are single parents out there who somehow manage to work, study and look after kids on their own all at once so there is time enough in the day for it - just takes dedication, and you'll have family close by to help. Also if you decide to wait it may be worth getting a blood test now to check for general fertility related stuff in case there's anything that may cause you difficulty in the future (e.g. "surprise! You got NO EGGS"). From experience, it was better for me to find out at 26 and start treatment at 27 than it was for women I know who found out at 36-37. Tamarillo fucked around with this message at 12:58 on Jul 18, 2015 |
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Jul 18, 2015 12:55
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Tamarillo posted:Yeah I reckon give it a shot. You'll just need to make sure you can get some quiet time to study. It won't be the easiest thing in the world, but there are single parents out there who somehow manage to work, study and look after kids on their own all at once so there is time enough in the day for it - just takes dedication, and you'll have family close by to help. As being someone who is in the boat of being 37 and just finding out my issues. I'd agree with this.It's torture. At least I have tons of eggs. Just have to figure out all the other things wrong (blocked tubes, etc). Plus you have the pressure of "There's no time left!" on top of whatever you have. So it feels like every chance that doesn't work is just confirming that it will never work for you as opposed to having the feeling like you have a lot of time for it. I realize that in the fertility world, I'm technically still ok. I have a lot of eggs (part of PCOS) but it still feels like there is no time and every fertility treatment failure means it's never going to happen. Sheer torture. I'm currently spending my weekend sobbing on and off from my latest failed treatment that I found out two days ago. It was supposed to be the one with the best shot so far. Rosehip fucked around with this message at 19:23 on Jul 18, 2015 |
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Jul 18, 2015 19:19
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