Let's Talk About Idiots! We can't stop here, this is Ba'ath country!

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Let's Talk About Idiots! We can't stop here, this is Ba'ath country!

«‹›435 »

Affi: Dec 18, 2005; Break bread wit the enemy

X GON GIVE IT TO YA

LingcodKilla posted:

Cheap is cheap and commuting sucks balls. I'm sorry you had a tough time though. Barrack life really shouldnt be so lovely.

This.

I would rather kill myself then commute.

# ? Jul 21, 2015 08:39

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 4, 2024 16:45

MA-Horus: Dec 3, 2006; I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

It's more of a "what route you're commuting through" for me. If you get to take some country back roads, no biggie. Massive highways? gently caress that noise.

I have a 25 mile commute, takes 25 minutes in the morning and an hour in the afternoon.

# ? Jul 21, 2015 11:31

LCL-Dead: Apr 22, 2014; Grimey Drawer

Cole posted:

Imagine you are in prison. You finally get out of prison after so many years. Your rear end in a top hat still hasn't, and may never recover from the punishment it took.

What do you turn around and do?

You don't go back to prison to loving live, even if you don't have to abide by the same dumbass prison rules and they give you first class accommodations.

Living in the barracks was like prison with booze and more yard time.

Cole posted:

I lived so close to work that I walked when I was in the army.

No rent. No utilities.

The walk took about 45 seconds if I was going slow that morning.

Still regularly wanted to kill myself.

If they told me I had to live on base for my job, I would pay an additional utility bill to not have to.

You have no friends in this.

I would find this equally as humorous and retarded as you do.. ..if I were moving into the barracks again. Why the gently caress would anyone in their right mind go back to the barracks?

I'm not moving into E1-E5 housing or the barracks and am not centrally located on the base so that I can run out and play with the rest of the motards or deal with those idiots.

The house I snagged is on the water, a single family home and in officer housing. The most I'll have to deal with is some pog 1stLt or senior enlisted dipshit that has a chip on his/her shoulder.

I'll take that over the hour and 15 minute commute up and back each day.

# ? Jul 21, 2015 11:50

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

calmasahinducow posted:

7 years ago I was an unemployed PoliSci graduate, 4 years ago I was an unemployed law school graduate, but then I joined the Army, went to OCS, managed my career well and took advantage of a lucky deployment opportunity and now I have a sweet job in cybersecurity working 35 hours a week and making high 5 figures in the midwest. Of course I'm still in the Reserve for a couple more years but at least the SLRP will pay all my loans off in the meantime!

# ? Jul 21, 2015 13:13

Kung Fu Fist Fuck: Aug 9, 2009

LingcodKilla posted:

Cheap is cheap and commuting sucks balls. I'm sorry you had a tough time though. Barrack life really shouldnt be so lovely.

shut up you dumb boot

# ? Jul 21, 2015 15:21

Qtotonibudinibudet: Nov 7, 2011; Omich poluyobok, skazhi ty narkoman? ya prosto tozhe gde to tam zhivu, mogli by vmeste uyobyvat' narkotiki

Nwabudike Morgan posted:

smoke weed on base. have your dealer deliver to the base

Grow weed on the base. Why bother with the middleman?

# ? Jul 21, 2015 19:57

The Dog-Broccoli Gambit: Jan 19, 2004

LCL-Dead posted:

I would find this equally as humorous and retarded as you do.. ..if I were moving into the barracks again. Why the gently caress would anyone in their right mind go back to the barracks?

I'm not moving into E1-E5 housing or the barracks and am not centrally located on the base so that I can run out and play with the rest of the motards or deal with those idiots.

The house I snagged is on the water, a single family home and in officer housing. The most I'll have to deal with is some pog 1stLt or senior enlisted dipshit that has a chip on his/her shoulder.

I'll take that over the hour and 15 minute commute up and back each day.

the only advantage to living on base that cant be cancelled out by the fact you live at work is being able to go sleep in your own bed when you skive off after lunch

# ? Jul 22, 2015 12:15

Soulex: Apr 1, 2009; Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

The Dog-Broccoli Gambit posted:

the only advantage to living on base that cant be cancelled out by the fact you live at work is being able to go sleep in your own bed when you skive off after lunch

This or playing video games on lunch if you're a nerd.

# ? Jul 22, 2015 23:42

Kawasaki Nun: Jul 16, 2001; by Reene

The Dog-Broccoli Gambit posted:

the only advantage to living on base that cant be cancelled out by the fact you live at work is being able to go sleep in your own bed when you skive off after lunch

Wow yeah sounds like you've got life pretty much figured out.

Jesus christ

# ? Jul 23, 2015 01:25

Nostalgia4Butts: Jun 1, 2006; WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

# ? Jul 24, 2015 17:11

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

Nostalgia4Butts posted:

Super Command Specialist Graham

# ? Jul 24, 2015 17:14

Shalhavet: Dec 10, 2010; This post is terrible; Doctor Rope

Not only does he have six stars, they're gold, too.

e: Apparently that's for some movie or other.

Shalhavet fucked around with this message at 17:56 on Jul 24, 2015

# ? Jul 24, 2015 17:53

PathAsc: Nov 15, 2011; Hail SS-18 Satan may he cleanse us with nuclear fire

PISS TAPE IS REAL

Shalhavet posted:

Not only does he have six stars, they're gold, too.

e: Apparently that's for some movie or other.

I hope it's another Sharknado

# ? Jul 24, 2015 18:00

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

^There IS another sharknado soon.

Ugh, what lovely homemade movie is that?

# ? Jul 24, 2015 18:01

The Slithery D: Jul 19, 2012

I stopped at the haircut. Was there anything noteworthy below his neck?

# ? Jul 24, 2015 18:10

Thump!: Nov 25, 2007; Look, fat, here's the fact, Kulak!

The Slithery D posted:

I stopped at the haircut. Was there anything noteworthy below his neck?

He's the Command Specialist Generalissimo of the 10th Mountain.

# ? Jul 24, 2015 18:17

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Specialist General of the Armies Graham, age 28. Fast-burner, you might say.

Edit: Pershing was almost 60 when he made it.

# ? Jul 24, 2015 18:32

USMC503: Jan 15, 2012; For satisfactory performance while under the effects of hostile enemy alcohol.

Apparently he drinks beer through his nose? :iiam:

# ? Jul 24, 2015 20:46

Nostalgia4Butts: Jun 1, 2006; WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

USMC503 posted:

Apparently he drinks beer through his nose?

smelling the fine coors bouquet

# ? Jul 24, 2015 20:48

Soulex: Apr 1, 2009; Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

Floral notes of cow's rear end and grass clippings. With a touch of hickory.

# ? Jul 24, 2015 22:12

Aranan: May 21, 2007; Release the Kraken

Well that answers some questions I had about 10th Mountain.

# ? Jul 24, 2015 23:43

ManMythLegend: Aug 18, 2003; I don't believe in anything, I'm just here for the violence.

Nostalgia4Butts posted:

smelling the fine coors bouquet

# ? Jul 25, 2015 03:15

Scratch Monkey: Oct 25, 2010; 👰Proč bychom se netě�ili🥰kdy� n�m P�n Bůh🙌🏻zdrav� d�💪?

Nostalgia4Butts posted:

holy poo poo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwTH5sysquk

http://vmashup.com/gsdOJQEi

# ? Jul 27, 2015 01:13

Nerdlord Actual: Apr 14, 2007; Awaken to your true self with Wisconsin Potatoes; Grimey Drawer

Spotted in the wild, about 30 seconds before he tore off the stoplight doing 60 in a 35

Nerdlord Actual fucked around with this message at 18:26 on Jul 28, 2015

# ? Jul 28, 2015 18:24

Soulex: Apr 1, 2009; Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

I don't think there is a bigger "I'm a douche/steal poo poo from my car" sign then those.

# ? Jul 28, 2015 18:41

LCL-Dead: Apr 22, 2014; Grimey Drawer

These are worse imo

# ? Jul 28, 2015 18:48

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

http://www.duffelblog.com/2015/07/gallup-moto-decals/

quote:

A recent Gallup poll indicates that Americans rely heavily on bumper stickers, car decals and �moto decorations� to distinguish real war heroes from ordinary, run-of-the-mill veterans.

According to results published in the New York Times, almost all respondents indicated at least �quite a lot� of confidence in a motorist�s service record and personal sacrifice solely from witty military appliqu�s and airbrushed American flags on a passing vehicle. Respondents increased their confidence to �a great deal� if it was on the back of a pick-up truck with an 8-inch suspension lift kit or Harley Davidson �Fatboy.�

A recent AIT graduate, 19-year-old financial management technician Pfc. Paul White uses his truck to make a statement. He said that upon returning from the Joint Readiness Training Center he signed a lease for a Ford F150 and applied for a high-interest credit card to pepper his �whip� with �HOOAH� bumper stickers and POW/MIA murals.

��Selfless Service� is one of the seven Army Values,� White said while affixing a �Kill �Em All, Let God Sort �Em Out� sticker to his tailgate. �but what good is putting �the welfare of the nation, the Army, and your subordinates before your own� if ain�t no one knows about it?�

Retired janitor George Crowley of Arlington agrees with those polled. He felt �a great deal of confidence� that blindly acknowledging warriors by the amount of badges haphazardly slapped onto a motorcycle helmet or windshield is reducing the civil-military gap to its smallest size in years.

�I am glad there is a cheap and readily available method for veterans to display their elite status,� said wheelchair -bound, ex-janitor George Crowley. �Back in 2002, when I lost the use of my legs saving all those kids from a school bus fire, these fierce warriors weren�t as comfortable identifying themselves as they are today. Now? You can�t go anywhere without these humble and reverent service members letting you know about their accomplishments.�

Crowley pointed to a heavily tinted and overtly patriotic 2015 Chevy Silverado currently double parking in the only two handicapped spaces near the entrance to the Chevy Chase Pavillion shopping center.

�Heck, I can�t even get mad when people park in a handicapped space if I see a �Bronze Star for Merit� license plate on their bumper,� said Crowley. �And, if my wheelchair battery has enough juice left in it from transporting me from the back of the parking lot to the sidewalk, I shake that courageous veteran�s hand and thank him for his service.�

# ? Jul 28, 2015 18:53

LCL-Dead: Apr 22, 2014; Grimey Drawer

DB puts out some great articles.

The best part is the people on facebook who share them as something factual.

# ? Jul 28, 2015 19:09

Soulex: Apr 1, 2009; Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

LCL-Dead posted:

DB puts out some great articles.

The best part is the people on facebook who share them as something factual.

Had someone do this the other day raising hell about it. It's hilarious.

# ? Jul 28, 2015 19:46

Kung Fu Fist Fuck: Aug 9, 2009

gentlemen

# ? Jul 28, 2015 22:15

FIDEL CASHFLOW: Oct 13, 2009

Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

gentlemen

i hate everything on this gay earth

# ? Jul 28, 2015 22:16

its curtains for Kevin: Nov 14, 2011; Fruit is proof that the gods exist and love us.

Just kidding!

Life is meaningless

It would be an Aveo

# ? Jul 28, 2015 22:21

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

gentlemen

Please dear God, please let that poor soul have simply lost a bet

# ? Jul 28, 2015 22:45

Soulex: Apr 1, 2009; Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

gentlemen

It's a loving dependa too. :psyduck:

# ? Jul 28, 2015 22:46

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

dont make me call my marine

# ? Jul 28, 2015 23:44

A Man With A Plan: Mar 29, 2010; Fallen Rib

Here in Maryland, the frequency at which I'm cut off by someone with USMC bumper sticker is at least 1/day.

# ? Jul 28, 2015 23:54

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

gentlemen

We have failed. :negative:

# ? Jul 29, 2015 00:04

Nostalgia4Infinity: Feb 27, 2007; 10,000 YEARS WASN'T ENOUGH LURKING

Phuzzy posted:

Spotted in the wild, about 30 seconds before he tore off the stoplight doing 60 in a 35

of course he's from michigan :negative:

# ? Jul 29, 2015 00:24

Kung Fu Fist Fuck: Aug 9, 2009

A Man With A Plan posted:

Here in Maryland, the frequency at which I'm cut off by someone with USMC bumper sticker is at least 1/day.

i just have marine plates no bumper stickers but i cut a lot of people off

# ? Jul 29, 2015 00:30

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 4, 2024 16:45

vains: May 26, 2004; A Big Ten institution offering distance education catering to adult learners

i cut off some ghetto trash white girl w/ her homies in the backseat. she called me a stupid bitch. i gave her the double bird and a 'shut the gently caress up oval office'. the homies didnt say a peep.

anyways, i guess my question is: do you know a white trash nurse, are you black and were you in the backseat of a late model economy sedan recently

# ? Jul 29, 2015 01:22

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Let's Talk About Idiots! We can't stop here, this is Ba'ath country!

«‹›435 »