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Sjurygg posted:With nurses in it. Why is it that everyone on a given base thinks the ambulance is their fuckshack? We ended up putting a chain and padlock on the back doors.
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Aug 15, 2015 03:07
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Derek Dominoe posted:Why is it that everyone on a given base thinks the ambulance is their fuckshack? yep. the helicopter pilots loved to break into them to bang
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Aug 15, 2015 03:08
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Derek Dominoe posted:Why is it that everyone on a given base thinks the ambulance is their fuckshack? check out this righteous christian cockblock.
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Aug 15, 2015 03:11
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Even better is that the Army Song is based off the old war song of Philippine domination, The Caissons Go Rolling Along. Should just change it to this, for all the millenials (snake people). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEuU64Zt4B0
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Aug 15, 2015 03:38
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Derek Dominoe posted:Why is it that everyone on a given base thinks the ambulance is their fuckshack? Because people are generally stupid and unimaginative.
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Aug 15, 2015 04:50
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Its probably an added bonus that there's some kind of medical lube floating around in there, too.
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Aug 15, 2015 04:54
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12 Amazing Uses for Nasopharyngeal Tubes! #5 will make you puke!
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Aug 15, 2015 05:32
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EMTs will HATE you!
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Aug 15, 2015 05:38
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Here's one weird trick about tourniquets discovered by a grunt that medics don't want you to know!
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Aug 15, 2015 06:36
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Naked Bear posted:Here's one weird trick about tourniquets discovered by a grunt that medics don't want you to know! the ultimate cockring 
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Aug 15, 2015 07:22
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Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:the ultimate cockring
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Aug 15, 2015 07:24
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Icon Of Sin posted:Its probably an added bonus that there's some kind of medical lube floating around in there, too. There's xylocaine gel for nasopharyngeal intubation. Smear it on your dick as an anal lube so you can tear your frenulum right off and not even notice it.
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Aug 15, 2015 08:16
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Sjurygg posted:There's xylocaine gel for nasopharyngeal intubation. Smear it on your dick as an anal lube so you can tear your frenulum right off and not even notice it. And when you start noticing there's instanyl for that. 
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Aug 15, 2015 10:19
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Too bad I didn't join the medical corp when I got in. All I had was gay *'Murican* sex with other infantrymen overseas :/
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Aug 15, 2015 12:21
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I thought loving in a portapotty was the height of class 
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Aug 15, 2015 18:56
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Our medic in Iraq was assuredly gay and had an FLA to drive around all by himself. The jokes wrote themselves. He had been the unit's designated medic (on loan from one of the line battalions) for training for several months and then volunteered to roll with us for the invasion of Iraq. During a boring few weeks of sitting in the desert waiting for the war to kick off we'd sit around the back of his truck (because it had cots to sit on and was out of the sun and wind) and rate the various passersby on whether or not he'd invite them to his 'mobile honeymoon suite'. I don't know if anyone took him up on his offer but for his sake I hope he got some because we sure as gently caress didn't until much later when they put us up in the Interior Ministry office building along with a bunch of miscellaneous brigade staff and supply types so there were at least a few women around and I know they weren't hurting for company. However the only one worth a second look wasn't from there, she was a reservist Public Affairs NCO that lived in the Green Zone that was shacked up with some SF officer who may or may not have been married. She was a deployment 8 or 9 so figure a home station 6-7. Anyway that's my story for the day.
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Aug 15, 2015 19:03
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Aug 15, 2015 19:15
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Sjurygg posted:There's xylocaine gel for nasopharyngeal intubation. Smear it on your dick as an anal lube so you can tear your frenulum right off and not even notice it.
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Aug 15, 2015 19:46
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Nah. My nco in Iraq almost had a gay encounter. Our bosses were pretty strict about "Army.mil poo poo ONLY" so on our 24 hour shift, he and I would browse chat rooms on AKO. One was something like "super happy rainbow pony time!" And was before the MLP boom. So he jumped in and hosed around I came in too. He started to talk with this person named Ashley, and since it was AKO you couldn't change your name. They talk back and forth, find out they were on the same base and talk started to get sexual. He came to me about a week later, white as a sheet, that Ashley was a man. I laughed my rear end off and asked how he found out. Apparently they had scheduled a sexy rendezvous at his CHU for later that day when Ashley asked "so have you ever been with a man before?" My NCO was like "lol, no I'm not gay." And then Ashley asked the golden words. "So I'll be your first?" It was then he rocketed back from his chair (I remember that. I just thought he had to poo poo real bad) and I guess cleared the air with Ashley later. He spent the deployment afraid that a black man (they said they were black) would show up at his door sometime during those 15 months. He would have done it if it was a girl. I saw him gently caress his soldier in the back of a taxi while I distracted the driver, drunk, on our way back from the VFW. That's like the fourth girl he hosed in the unit. And he was married with four kids.
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Aug 15, 2015 19:48
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Casimir Radon posted:I have my doubts that you could stay hard with that smeared on your dick, but I dunno. Now I want to experiment. Will report back later.
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Aug 15, 2015 22:38
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Casimir Radon posted:I have my doubts that you could stay hard with that smeared on your dick, but I dunno. Now I want to experiment. It shouldn't affect blood flow.. so..? Go nuts? Nut?
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Aug 17, 2015 19:28
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With the anesthetic effects you'll be able to gently caress like a god or until your raw dick falls off
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Aug 17, 2015 19:38
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I wouldn't think blood flow would be the issue. Wouldn't it be the complete lack of tactile sensation that would eventually lead to the drop in performance?
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Aug 17, 2015 19:44
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Wool socks and fleshlights wouldn't care all that much tbh
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Aug 17, 2015 22:30
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LCL-Dead posted:I wouldn't think blood flow would be the issue. Tactile sensation isn't the only stimulus involved. Ultimately it's all from the brain, so the answer is "probably not."
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Aug 17, 2015 23:19
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Guest2553 posted:Wool socks and fleshlights wouldn't care all that much tbh That's textile sensation.
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Aug 18, 2015 06:29
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Soulex posted:That's textile sensation. Nice.. Very nice
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Aug 18, 2015 13:57
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FIDEL CASHFLOW posted:With the anesthetic effects you'll be able to gently caress like a god She probably won't feel a thing either since the residual stuff on your skin will anesthetize her clitty too
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Aug 19, 2015 02:25
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Scratch Monkey posted:She probably won't feel a thing either since the residual stuff on your skin will anesthetize her clitty too Ahem: Sjurygg posted:There's xylocaine gel for nasopharyngeal intubation. Smear it on your dick as an anal lube so you can tear your frenulum right off and not even notice it.
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Aug 19, 2015 02:27
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A professional wedding photographer and peacetime army vet:
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Aug 19, 2015 15:17
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Zeris posted:A professional wedding photographer and peacetime army vet: Goddamn it his loving narration sucks. Also gently caress the majority of dependa photographers and crew. Your poo poo sucks, adding a solar flare isn't artistic, selective color is shameful, and nobody wants to see your monstrosity of a watermark.
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Aug 19, 2015 15:59
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Soulex posted:Goddamn it his loving narration sucks. My cousin's wife is a pretty good photographer. I didn't realize it was a stereotype. Also I don't know what makes good photos.
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Aug 19, 2015 16:34
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I don't know if it's a recent thing or what, but there have been way too many people into crazy photography poo poo to where I've learned by osmosis far too much about lenses, bodies, exposure lengths, and developing methods. I guess it's just another thing for Joe to throw his paycheck at instead of rimz or tactical gear.
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Aug 20, 2015 00:40
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Fart Sandwiches posted:Also I don't know what makes good photos. you and the vast majority of people, insofar as "good photography" exists. which is why some barely sapient hippopotamus can use a rebel t5i that they spent diaper money on to do baby portraits where they add a soft focus filter in post and charge $50/shoot. it's fine, considering they're engaged in a laudable activity: ripping off servicemembers. also no it's not really recent, it's just that entry level SLRs have become about as complicated as and old p&s and actually probably cheaper than a high quality p&s. and it's been that way for some time
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Aug 20, 2015 01:16
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i wonder if i could paint my old pentax 67 olive drab and sell tactical portait sessions
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Aug 20, 2015 06:26
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atomicthumbs posted:i wonder if i could paint my old pentax 67 olive drab and sell tactical portait sessions
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Aug 20, 2015 06:30
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I've been thinking about getting a decent camera but trying to find the right one is a tremendous pain in the dick. Long exposure, macro, burst, etc. Not looking for anything crazy. But the only point and shoots worth a drat cost as much as a MILC. If I'm gonna drop that kind of money I might as well get one of those. So there's another 724 camera models to choose from, and a ton of them have that cheap loving retro look that for some reason is popular.
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Aug 20, 2015 18:00
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Get the cheapest DSLR you can. Used if possible. Use it for two or three occasions. Realize its a pain in the dick to carry around, lenses are loving expensive, and is never there when you want a picture anyway. Also its not cloud connected, and gently caress taking out memory cards or USB cables. Return to using your cell phone in macro mode to make your donger look bigger.
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Aug 20, 2015 18:10
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I thought film photography would be fun, then I got my first accidental exposure.
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Aug 20, 2015 18:13
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Casimir Radon posted:I thought film photography would be fun, then I got my first accidental exposure.
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Aug 20, 2015 18:19
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