Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth

Sheep-Goats posted:

Woman has a long list of comments about what she will or will not accept in a message or man.

What I hear:

Don't give a poo poo fire the harpoons

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Waterbed Wendy
Jan 29, 2009

Sheep-Goats posted:

Woman has a long list of comments about what she will or will not accept in a message or man.Din't

What I hear:

Don't give a poo poo fire the harpoons

Didn't know you were a chubby chaser.

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
I'm not but if I'm going to be on OKC I don't have a loving choice do I. I mean, I did in NYC but outside of there and maybe like Denver or LA women are so consistently fat it's almost unbelievable.

raton fucked around with this message at 19:40 on Aug 25, 2015

Al Cowens
Aug 11, 2004

by WE B Bourgeois
http://www.digitalcultureandeducation.com/cms/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/abraham.pdf

JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!
Outside of major urban areas, I think OKC is sort of a dead zone to the point that I don't even know why I keep mine active. So much clutter anymore. I think they need to do a "Crisis on Infinite OKCupids" where we just restart the whole OKC from scratch so we don't have to deal with the continuity of old profiles that are no longer relevant.

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth

JediTalentAgent posted:

Outside of major urban areas, I think OKC is sort of a dead zone to the point that I don't even know why I keep mine active. So much clutter anymore. I think they need to do a "Crisis on Infinite OKCupids" where we just restart the whole OKC from scratch so we don't have to deal with the continuity of old profiles that are no longer relevant.

Set your browse page to filter for "online in the last week" or something like that.

FedEx Mercury
Jan 7, 2004

Me bad posting? That's unpossible!
Lipstick Apathy
Okc in the rurals is so barren. Maybe everybody here is on Farmersonly.com

JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!
Oddly enough, the Yahoo Personals of about a dozen years ago were pretty well-populated. I don't know why, though.

Then I realize, "Well, I was nearly a dozen years younger, too, so there would have been a lot more people in my age-search window."

im cute
Sep 21, 2009

notZaar posted:

Okc in the rurals is so barren. Maybe everybody here is on Farmersonly.com

I'm 28 and from a small town. I figured out what's up: everyone is already married, divorced, and remarried with kids.

ziasquinn
Jan 1, 2006

Fallen Rib
So many people I knew in college are married like as of this year exactly

Owlbear Camus
Jan 3, 2013

Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?



i'm twice divorced at 36 and gay.

a true goon success story

caberham
Mar 18, 2009

by Smythe
Grimey Drawer

paco650 posted:

I'm 28 and from a small town. I figured out what's up: everyone is already married, divorced, and remarried with kids.

So what's going to happen?

toggle
Nov 7, 2005

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. - Wayne Gretzky

Jubs
Jul 11, 2006

Boy, I think it's about time I tell you the difference between a man and a woman. A woman isn't a woman unless she's pretty. And a man isn't a man unless he's ugly.
I'm not even sure what is going on here...

funeral home DJ
Apr 21, 2003


Pillbug

You have to be a really boring person to use methamphetamine and then sit in front of your computer typing up an okcupid profile.

toggle
Nov 7, 2005


not sure i quite understand either

HerStuddMuffin
Aug 10, 2014

YOSPOS

Great find. I'm glad she found the purpouse of her life, I'm still looking for the porpoise of mine.

ghosTTy
Sep 22, 2008

Is it worth it to be ironic on a dating profile?

ziasquinn
Jan 1, 2006

Fallen Rib
To find the secret irony dating pool say yes to eugenics

Answer steal to stale with 98 instead of 89

And say wherefore means where

Yawgmoth
Sep 10, 2003

This post is cursed!
Someone quote this poo poo so I can read it at work, TIA

Rime
Nov 2, 2011

by Games Forum

Yawgmoth posted:

Someone quote this poo poo so I can read it at work, TIA

Tl;DR: Hooker in Vegas creates OKCupid profile while doing Meth.

ElGroucho
Nov 1, 2005

We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane
Fun Shoe

Otisburg posted:

i'm twice divorced at 36 and gay.

a true goon success story

Living the dream imo

kloa
Feb 14, 2007


Yawgmoth posted:

Someone quote this poo poo so I can read it at work, TIA

lol if you don't use awful app to bypass filters @ work

cmndstab
May 20, 2006

Huge Internet Celebrity!

Yawgmoth posted:

Someone quote this poo poo so I can read it at work, TIA

quote:

My self-summary
According To Miss Lorena Vega AKA A God, Elite Thinker ( Wealthiest Woman in the Entire Universe : The meaning and purpouse of life is not finding a man or woman to marry or have a family. Thats not my life purpouse. Its NOT. Love is doing what you love to do. Love is a verb.

FACT: LORENA VEGA IS THE WEALTHIEST WOMAN IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE.

In Lorena Vega We Trust
In Lorena Vega I believe


IM LOOKING FOR LORENA VEGA
SHES THE LOVE OF MY LIFE


LORENA VEGA
You will be working for one of LA's most famous CEOS.

Miss Lorena Vega YOU CATCH MY EYE
When I see you again

MISS LORENA VEGA IS SEX
Did I see you see me over and over again!
TONIGHT I can start dreaming!

Whos is Miss Lorena Vega
The Wealthiest and Sexiest Woman Alive!
Shes got that kind of Look
Shes got the perfect friends
Shes MORE than YOU DESERVE!
SHES THE TOTAL DEFINITION OF SEXY
EXTREMELY SEXY WOMAN
I CANT STOP DREAMING ABOUT HER!
SHE WAS CREATED TO MAKE ALL
your fantasies come true!


Meet the Wealthiest Woman in the Entire Universe! - Miss Lorena Vega
The UNIVERSE CREATED SUCH WOMAN
ID rather spoil myself
BUY LORENA VEGA GIFTCARDS!!

YOU WERE MORE THAN JUST A FRIEND



LORENA'S BIRTHDAY

H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y



Disclousure: Im sexy, Wealthy, and healthy.

THINGS I WOULD LOVE DOING TOGETHER:
SEX, SEX MOVIES, DIRTY TALKING, SEX, HOT EROTIC IMAGES TOGETHER, PHOTOS,
TALKING, WRITING, EATING, SEX , TOUCHING
KISSING, MOVING, LEARNING

Lorena's Bible:
• Eat well
• Sleep well
• Explore new places,people
• I dont want to service a penis
• live life with purpouses.
• Stay young!
• Learn new things
• Be sexually SEXY!!
SEXY is your FIRST NAME

Im a Wealthy woman.

• A relationship over text,
over phone, over sending images, or going ,eating out or dining, with your body or you name it.

Im here for friends only.

The love of my life
is my best friend
not someone i meet online
I have that already
he or They are the
loves of my life
I have it ALL.

Love is a Verb!! its an action
in my entire life i never ever came attached with a male everywhere
so im independent
i always have felt happier single.

I know exactly what I LOVE doing
alone or with someone and its A CHOICE
to do it!!! its a choice.

• Focus
• Doing what you love
• individually

I find love in all the people I meet.
I dont and no longer need a male in my life. I choose to be single, I choose not to want kids or want marriage.

I have no interest to meet you or have sex with you. My life is perfect just the way it is!

the relationship i have are tru the stories and time and conversations we share.
What I’m doing with my life
sorry, this girl will and does not want marriage or kids. I made a choice and I don't want either , I would indeed want a male who is my best friend, who is my life partner forever even a gay man or someone who wants company would suit me great! ( or if I'm surrounded by a TON of people I'd be great) I just need someone, or a ton of people.

I do not want kids or marriage
I like my freedom and independence
Welcome to my life
My life is indeed perfect!
I make my life choices And I make the best ones.

I don't find sex, or marriage As LOVE

DEFINITION OF LOVE : LOVE is an ACTION VERB. It's what keeps things moving . An action sadly it's not marriage or kids or sex for me.This life choice is a NO. If it's CHOOSING THE ( LOVE of my life ) which is ME over kids and marriage I'd choose ME! And Hopefully You !

Your purpouse in life is to
create and leave something behind
: Write: Polish your writting
: Photographs :
: Experiences : Learn something new
: Do something for someone!

I’m really good at
• An aggressive CEO and businesswoman
• Sales, photography!
• Being wealthy

I LOVE SEX ( the act of capturing hot erotic images)
I LOVE SEX ( in my mind)

Doing photography and sex is hot
Capturing hot images is hot

Especially naughty thoughts,
The idea of having naked photographs of michaelangelo types in my home intrigue me

Men who love sex also intrigue me
a picture of a also intrigues me
Even staring at one !
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
LORENA VEGA AT THE GYM
MISS LORENA VEGA PHOTOGRAPHING IN THE NUDE
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Lorena's

Complete List of Action Verbs

Below is a list of action verbs to assist you in describing your experiences and achievements on your resume.


On a typical Friday night I am
Company

LORENA VEGA'S EYES
LORENA VEGA'S rear end
LORENA VEGA'S FACE
LORENA VEGAS BACK
LORENA VEGAS ABS
LORENA VEGAS BOOBS
You should message me if


LORENA VEGA




I love Miss Vega
Your love Lorena
My mind and body has to move to live 135 years of age. I have a huge purpouse in life.
Interested? Go ahead…

Owlbear Camus
Jan 3, 2013

Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?



Why, why are people using "boyfriend's arm around me but boyfriend cropped out" pictures on Tinder in TYOOL 2015 instead of putting up new ones? It's not like that's your only option because you have to get the new picture developed and like mail it to a DARPA engineer who has access to a scanner and will mail it back to you archived on 3 floppies.

Everything has a camera in/on it. If you're a mega-poor with a flip phone, you probably have at least one friend with a camera on one of their gadgets, have them take it and e-mail it to you or whatever.

Shumagorath
Jun 6, 2001
those are the ones to go for because they are either recently separated or you will quickly find out they're cheating and conduct your own version of the Ashley Madison dump

(Seriously though: some people who end long-term relationships get stuck with their ex in all their good photos and can only crop them so tight.)

DeusExMachinima
Sep 2, 2012

:siren:This poster loves police brutality, but only when its against minorities!:siren:

Put this loser on ignore immediately!

notZaar posted:

Okc in the rurals is so barren. Maybe everybody here is on Farmersonly.com

city folk jus' dun geddit

^^actual literal quote from farmersonly tv ad

naem
May 29, 2011

Otisburg posted:

Why, why are people using "boyfriend's arm around me but boyfriend cropped out" pictures on Tinder in TYOOL 2015 instead of putting up new ones?

There are also the pics with 2-5 really handsome guys with their arms around her, as if to say "this is who I could be f*cking" those bother me more

Yawgmoth
Sep 10, 2003

This post is cursed!

Shumagorath posted:

those are the ones to go for because they are either recently separated or you will quickly find out they're cheating and conduct your own version of the Ashley Madison dump

(Seriously though: some people who end long-term relationships get stuck with their ex in all their good photos and can only crop them so tight.)
Take new pictures, this is not hard unless you have no friends.

im cute
Sep 21, 2009

DeusExMachinima posted:

city folk jus' dun geddit

^^actual literal quote from farmersonly tv ad

*man leaves his ranch, literally named Lonely Acres, pulls up into an empty parking lot, sits down at an empty bar, looks incredulously at the bartender*
"where all the white wimmin country girls at?"
"they're in my phone and chatting online"

^^ actual literal paraphrasing from farmersonly tv ad

im cute fucked around with this message at 19:13 on Aug 26, 2015

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

ThePriceIsRight posted:

Is it worth it to be ironic on a dating profile?

If you're a girl and looking to attract men from the pool of people who understand irony on the internet (so like 50% of 4chan and Something Awful) then yes.

YeahTubaMike
Mar 24, 2005

*hic* Gotta finish thish . . .
Doctor Rope

Otisburg posted:

Why, why are people using "boyfriend's arm around me but boyfriend cropped out" pictures on Tinder in TYOOL 2015 instead of putting up new ones?

my okc profile picture is of me with a guy's arm around me, but he is not, nor has he ever been my boyfriend, and our relationship is so brother-sisterly that it didn't even occur to me that i might be scaring dudes away from my profile with it.

Carth Dookie
Jan 28, 2013

The dude in the picture almost certainly wants to bang you.

neonbregna
Aug 20, 2007

YeahTubaMike posted:

my okc profile picture is of me with a guy's arm around me, but he is not, nor has he ever been my boyfriend, and our relationship is so brother-sisterly that it didn't even occur to me that i might be scaring dudes away from my profile with it.

This is my new fetish

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004

YeahTubaMike posted:

my okc profile picture is of me with a guy's arm around me, but he is not, nor has he ever been my boyfriend, and our relationship is so brother-sisterly that it didn't even occur to me that i might be scaring dudes away from my profile with it.

Ugh that's even worse.

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth

YeahTubaMike posted:

my okc profile picture is of me with a guy's arm around me, but he is not, nor has he ever been my boyfriend, and our relationship is so brother-sisterly that it didn't even occur to me that i might be scaring dudes away from my profile with it.

lol

vyst
Aug 25, 2009



YeahTubaMike posted:

my okc profile picture is of me with a guy's arm around me, but he is not, nor has he ever been my boyfriend, and our relationship is so brother-sisterly that it didn't even occur to me that i might be scaring dudes away from my profile with it.

He certainly doesn't want to gently caress me. We're just really good friends.

naem
May 29, 2011

darth cookie posted:

The dude in the picture almost certainly wants to bang you.

No no see they're just friends, and you'll get to hang out with this guy who stares daggers at you 24/7 because you've stolen the secret desperate love of his life, who she doesn't even see as male, it will be so great

YeahTubaMike
Mar 24, 2005

*hic* Gotta finish thish . . .
Doctor Rope
he is happily married, and living across the ocean

edit: also he was living with his fiancee when i met him

YeahTubaMike fucked around with this message at 02:02 on Aug 27, 2015

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

FedEx Mercury
Jan 7, 2004

Me bad posting? That's unpossible!
Lipstick Apathy
You just triggered the gently caress out of this thread

  • Locked thread