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"I saw, I conquered, I came" 
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Aug 28, 2015 20:08
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Shine posted:Getting deep in your cum-guzzling fuckhole, suckling my chute digger with pussy sauce, I'm gonna spew man yogurt all over your gently caress udders, take it cuntwhacker. Dude stop listening at my door 
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Aug 28, 2015 20:36
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hoobajoo posted:I think there's a 90% chance you're a virgin, because who the gently caress wants dry sex? Think for one second, have you ever wanted a dry blowjob? Seriously, doing it dry is the minimum pleasure for both of you; if you don't believe me, then let her dry-gently caress your anus with a strap-on first, and see if no lube is still "maximum pleasure". https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZItsbLzc73s
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Aug 29, 2015 01:58
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I came, thanks. Anyone have any band-aids?
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Aug 30, 2015 10:21
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Anne Whateley posted:Gardasil protects against the most common cancer strains and the most common wart strains. Those strains cause ballpark 70% of genital cancers and 90% of genital warts. The new version, Gardasil-9, includes 5 more strains that cause an additional 20% of cervical cancers. (But you can't get the new one if you already got the original Gardasil, so I'm jealous) Blerg, I went to planned parenthood today and they're not administering the new Gardasil yet. I really need to get a primary gynecologist.
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Aug 31, 2015 22:06
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How long after drinking pineapple juice does your spunk taste fruity? And how much do you have to drink? My wife wants to know.
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Sep 1, 2015 17:41
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monkeytennis posted:How long after drinking pineapple juice does your spunk taste fruity? And how much do you have to drink? My wife wants to know. Save yourself the questions and just offer a chaser of pineapple juice. Real Answer: 2 parts rumor and 1 part inexact science. No telling, but I don't think there's any harm in downing a jar to try it for what that's worth.
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Sep 1, 2015 17:50
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Just dip your dick in pineapple preserves before she goes to town.
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Sep 1, 2015 17:55
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The other part of tasty jizz is becoming very healthy, eating right, exercising, doing hot yoga, abstaining from poisons/drugs, doing an all fluid diet to flush your system, perform an exorcism on your testicles, and finally become spiritually enlightened. Then your dick will spew the nectar of the gods. 
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Sep 1, 2015 18:27
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monkeytennis posted:How long after drinking pineapple juice does your spunk taste fruity? And how much do you have to drink? My wife wants to know. My wife notices it after a single glass later the same day. Any acidic juice should work, I drink orange juice.
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Sep 1, 2015 18:43
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I'm already pretty healthy I think. I don't eat or drink a lot of crap. Just pondering whether the extra calories and potential dental carnage from drinking acidic pineapple juice is a reasonable risk just to make things more interesting for the Mrs while she's doing her duty. Worth a try by the sounds of it though, I'd better get chugging, and then, so can she!
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Sep 1, 2015 19:55
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monkeytennis posted:I'm already pretty healthy I think. I don't eat or drink a lot of crap. Just pondering whether the extra calories and potential dental carnage from drinking acidic pineapple juice is a reasonable risk just to make things more interesting for the Mrs while she's doing her duty.  It might be worth her while to know the effect works both ways.
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Sep 1, 2015 20:06
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Or just taste your own jizz while trying different juices. Don't be such a prude.
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Sep 1, 2015 20:54
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Gounads posted:My wife notices it after a single glass later the same day. Any acidic juice should work, I drink orange juice. Even fruit flavored soda will do it.
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Sep 1, 2015 21:03
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Mak0rz posted:
pineapple juice into your dick makes your saliva taste fruity?
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Sep 1, 2015 21:26
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EB Nulshit posted:pineapple juice into your dick makes your saliva taste fruity? Of course not you dummy. It makes pineapple taste like semen.
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Sep 1, 2015 21:38
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So a question about sexy talk. Because that is always funny. I need some inspiration. The girl I'm seeing likes it sort of dirty. Like: do you like to feel my cock inside you? But she does not like the dirty whore thing. But besides stating the obvious, any tips on things you can bring up? Not prudish but not exceptionally dirty either. I have more experience on the dirtier and more physical end of the spectrum so I need some tips. Please troll me.
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Sep 1, 2015 22:33
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As posted on the last page:Brutor Fartknocker posted:See dan savage's advice: say what you're about to do, say what you're doing, say what you just did. Adjust your vocabulary to match your partner's preferences.
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Sep 1, 2015 22:37
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How is it hard to talk about fun dirty things without throwing in insults?
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Sep 2, 2015 00:54
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i like nice words
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Quift posted:So a question about sexy talk. Because that is always funny. "Guys, I literally can't talk about sex without demeaning women, please help." I dunno man, talk about how her pussy feels good and your dick is hard or something, it shouldn't be difficult to do that without using insults.
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Sep 2, 2015 01:29
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if your partner doesn't like the taste of your jizz pineapple juice won't change anything unfortunately
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Sep 2, 2015 01:33
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What do you guys and girls think about penile crenellations? I have prominent ones on my shaft and I've always been insecure about them. None of the women I've been with have said anything, but I can't help but think that they are weirded out or think I have an STD. I want to get them removed but the surgery is expensive and not covered by my insurance.
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Sep 2, 2015 01:35
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If they slept with you anyways I doubt they thought you have an STD. Do you mean skin folds? I can't find anything actually describing what a "penile crenellation" is.
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Sep 2, 2015 01:39
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gentle pete posted:What do you guys and girls think about penile crenellations? I have prominent ones on my shaft and I've always been insecure about them. None of the women I've been with have said anything, but I can't help but think that they are weirded out or think I have an STD. I want to get them removed but the surgery is expensive and not covered by my insurance. Spend the money on CBT instead. Girls don't care about you having flawless dick skin any more than you care about them having flawless vulva skin.
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Sep 2, 2015 01:41
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Mechafunkzilla posted:Spend the money on CBT instead. Girls don't care about you having flawless dick skin any more than you care about them having flawless vulva skin. That acronym has an interesting ambiguity in this thread.
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Sep 2, 2015 01:42
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strangemusic posted:That acronym has an interesting ambiguity in this thread. Either he builds up his self-confidence or a severe Russian lady burns the skin folds off with a cigarette. Either way, problem solved.
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Sep 2, 2015 01:45
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IronicDongz posted:If they slept with you anyways I doubt they thought you have an STD. English isn't my first language so it's hard to describe - I don't know what the medical term is in English. It's basically an area of very strange texture/growths on the shaft of the penis (not my foreskin). It's called "crenellation" because of resembling the architecture on a castle wall. It's a benign condition but very unattractive.
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Sep 2, 2015 01:52
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Apparently there's one guy who's asked 3 times about his "penile crenellations" on other sites. It's you, isn't it. As embarrassed as you are about your dick, you should be that ashamed of asking on yahoo answers. And if English doesn't have a word for it, and an entire plastic surgery industry dedicated to making it pretty, obviously you're fine. e: not to discourage mspaints though
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Sep 2, 2015 01:55
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gentle pete posted:English isn't my first language so it's hard to describe - I don't know what the medical term is in English. It's basically an area of very strange texture/growths on the shaft of the penis (not my foreskin). It's called "crenellation" because of resembling the architecture on a castle wall. It's a benign condition but very unattractive.
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Sep 2, 2015 01:56
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gentle pete posted:English isn't my first language so it's hard to describe - I don't know what the medical term is in English. It's basically an area of very strange texture/growths on the shaft of the penis (not my foreskin). It's called "crenellation" because of resembling the architecture on a castle wall. It's a benign condition but very unattractive. If it is that, no one I've ever known cares about them. If it's not, I'm not sure what you're describing.
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Sep 2, 2015 02:04
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bowmore posted:Maybe the girls at the medieval fairs will enjoy it Girls at renaissance fairs will enjoy anything. 
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Sep 2, 2015 02:10
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Quift posted:But besides stating the obvious Have you tried that? Does it work? Have you literally said: "Oh baby, my purple-headed cyclops is deep within your pulsing love canal. Prepare yourself for my gushing torrent of manhood"?
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Sep 2, 2015 07:37
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BirdOfPlay posted:Have you tried that? Does it work? Well yeah. Of course. I said that I was running out of ideas..
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Sep 2, 2015 07:41
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Censored
screamname fucked around with this message at 08:48 on Sep 2, 2015 |
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Sep 2, 2015 07:41
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screamname posted:Question, do all guys think their penises are bigger than they actually are? I've heard stories of girls telling their boyfriends that they're huge and it always turns out awkward. Those women then get confused because they think guys like hearing it. The reason it turns out this way is probably because dudes know exactly how big their dicks are, and someone trying to embellish their sizes comes across as disingenuous.
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Sep 2, 2015 08:01
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....
screamname fucked around with this message at 08:48 on Sep 2, 2015 |
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Sep 2, 2015 08:13
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bowmore posted:if your partner doesn't like the taste of your jizz pineapple juice won't change anything unfortunately Depends how much rum you mix in.
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Sep 2, 2015 21:17
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If it's not warts, your dick just looks weird, and you are getting sex then don't worry about it. I have noticeable bumps on my balls and shaft that forever freaked me out. Once I finally worked up the courage to ask a doc, he grabbed my balls, looked deep into my eyes, and told me they were just my hair follicles. I have never had a woman mention them, which seemed weird to me, but then I remember I've never been weirded out by a pussy either. Sex thread drink mix: 2 parts pineapple juice, 1 part jizz, 1 part rum.
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Sep 3, 2015 00:50
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Mak0rz posted:I've heard stories of girls telling their boyfriends that they're huge and it always turns out awkward. Yeah, I've had a couple girls do the same thing. "Whoa, your penis is SO BIG" But it's really not! Doesn't even break eight inches long, basically the minimum possible to claim you have an impressively-sized penis. Brutor Fartknocker posted:but then I remember I've never been weirded out by a pussy either. Words of wisdom, ladies. If you're worried your vagina looks weird (and I know some of y'all are), chillax. Everybody looks at their genitals with a mix of horror and disgust*. *I hope.
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Sep 3, 2015 01:32
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John Lee posted:Yeah, I've had a couple girls do the same thing. "Whoa, your penis is SO BIG" For you straight boys, 5 is average. 8 as your beginning marker for 'impressive' or 'big' is soooooo unrealistic. Also, what if these guys have only dated guys with like 3 inch dicks? Don't just assume every woman is intimately familiar with the male anatomy. (Its why they are generally so terrible at making you breeder boys feel good.)
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Sep 3, 2015 01:51
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