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That's really young to start a hit list
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Aug 28, 2015 01:01
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Soulex posted:That's really young to start a hit list def neot
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Aug 28, 2015 01:11
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I recently started working in a kindergarten and it's pretty spooky. A lot of the kids like to place their hands on paper, draw outlines and then colour them in. One girl was drawing her a deep red. When I looked at it she turned to me and said "This my hand, it is covered in blood. Like it was when I was born." Another girl was drawing a picture of a smiling little girl and her baby brother. The picture maybe some sort of self-portrait because she also has a brother who is apperently "0 years old" and only has one tooth. She told me the story of the girl in the picture and concluded it by saying "Her entire family died and went into the ground...BUT THEY CAME BACK!". Various kids playing chess "Look how many I've killed!" "Kill me, go ahead, kill me." "I'm going to kill all of them" "It's fun to kill." "I did it, I killed him." chanting as group: "kill kill kill kill"
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Aug 28, 2015 03:10
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Brightman posted:When my sister was really young she would pronounce "tr" sounds like "f" sounds. Her saying, "Look at all the fucks!" when we were in a parking lot was amusing. My little sister did the same thing. except it was compounded by not being able to say Ps...there were building a development behind my house. 'LOOK AT ALL THE DUM FUCKS! ANOTHER DUM gently caress!' everyone lost it all the time.
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Aug 28, 2015 04:01
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Training her early for a customer-facing position.
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Aug 28, 2015 04:55
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Sirocco posted:My wife found this mysterious list at my mother's house. The question mark after ron is killing me. Is number 3 (are in man) supposed to be iron man?
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Aug 28, 2015 09:31
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Could feank -> Fang? Hagrid's big hound dog?
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Aug 28, 2015 17:24
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I was in an art class and this kid went around with hadouken hands going "POW! Samurai fireball!" He did it several times, but when no one responded he muttered "No one understands my secret powers," and left.
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Aug 28, 2015 17:51
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Plinkey posted:My little sister did the same thing. except it was compounded by not being able to say Ps...there were building a development behind my house. 'LOOK AT ALL THE DUM FUCKS! ANOTHER DUM gently caress!' everyone lost it all the time. I spent the summer working as a play supporter for a party scheme, which was great, lovely kids all of them. One girl's speech though was difficult to understand, and "thank you" regularly sounded like "gently caress you." "Shall I push you on the swing?" "No, gently caress you."
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Aug 30, 2015 22:21
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My boyfriend and I are visiting some friends in about a month. Their three year old is very excited about it, despite not having seen us since he was tiny. Apparently he's been asking every day when "Auntie Spider and Uncle Bug" are going to get there. *my name sounds nothing like spider, but my boyfriend's name rhymes with bug. I think the kid just remembered that those two things kinda go together 
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Sep 7, 2015 14:01
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Crow Jane posted:My boyfriend and I are visiting some friends in about a month. Their three year old is very excited about it, despite not having seen us since he was tiny. Apparently he's been asking every day when "Auntie Spider and Uncle Bug" are going to get there. Powercouple Glider and Thug itt It's time for my niece's school fundraiser. I got a nice email explaining the cause and her goal and asking for help this year. This is in sharp contrast to the email she sent the first year in this school: "Please send two checks". Everyone in the family got different versions. "I need money by Friday" and "Will you send $20". My mom thought she had been held hostage. My sister quickly emailed everyone and explained that they had written a nice email together, and as soon as she left the room my niece decided it was too detailed and she needed to get to the point quicker. I still love the "two checks". She knew if my husband and I sent money separately, she would get twice as much.
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Sep 7, 2015 16:52
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My 8yo's 3rd grade class talked about bullying, and then had an assignment to write a letter to someone you imagined being mean to you, asking them to stop. This is what my kid came home with: Dear Darth Vader, I don't like it when you call me a scaredy-cat for being afraid of the dark. Please stop. Simon
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Sep 8, 2015 18:40
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My six-year-old thinks the expression is "Avenge your eyes!", the logic being that if you see something you weren't supposed to, you have to get even. There is a zero percent chance I am going to correct her.
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Sep 8, 2015 19:47
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Playing hangman with my daughter last night and she gets to come up with the word. Ok, Ill give you a hint. This is a four letter word and mom loves it! So many options... Also my son was describing a super hero game he played over the weekend and all the cool powers he got. "I have speed power, I have strong power, I have color power," "Wait, whats color power?" "It lets me change peoples color. Like this! White power! Fwoosh!" As he said white power he thrust his hand out, obviously shooting his power but it easily could have been a heil hitler sign.
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Sep 8, 2015 20:22
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Keystoned posted:Playing hangman with my daughter last night and she gets to come up with the word. Well, what was it? Don't leave us hanging.
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Sep 8, 2015 20:45
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My first guess was food and I didn't get why that was so funny.
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Sep 9, 2015 01:22
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It's obvious it wasn't salad
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Sep 9, 2015 06:54
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4 y.o., while holding an empty keyring-- My precioussss. Mommy, this is The Precious. I'mma keep it secret; keep it safe. One ring to rule them all! Even rule the most POWERFUL Mommy! Ahahahaha! Then, I'mma throw it the fire! ... Can I be Smaug instead when I grow up?
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Sep 9, 2015 19:04
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I got a job at a preschool, so I'm going to get a lot of these: Me: And what do you want to be when you grow up?  : A queen! : Queens aren't real!
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Sep 11, 2015 04:00
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Walking around the supermarket today, I heard a little girl chanting "Excellente! Excellente!" until her mother told her to "stop saying excellente! You're learning to speak French not Spanish!" A pause, and then "Magnifique! Magnifique!"
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Sep 12, 2015 00:24
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My coworker is raising her grandson, who is a bit under 2. She posted on Facebook today that she'd taught him about jumping out and saying "BOO!" to scare someone. So what does he do with this knowledge?quote:He sneaks up on himself in the mirror and jumps out and yells BOO! Then giggles hysterically.
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Sep 12, 2015 03:50
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My wife works in pre-k and I've been telling her to post some. Since she won't create an account. I'll share the stories I can remember. : Teacher : Student next to crying childStudent walks in crying Trying to take his mind off of why he's sad : "Is there a surprise in your lunchbox?" : "It's not a surprise, you idiot." : Student in front rowWhile class is singing a song called "Special Me" which pretty much consists of "Special, special, special me! I'm as special as can be!" to the tune of twinkle little star whispers: I'm not special. : Teacher : Student : I'm going to go home and eat pizza : What do you like in your pizza? : Pepperoni : Me too! : I bet you like mustard on your pizza That's yucky! : I bet you like mustard in your eye
mrbass21 has a new favorite as of 04:01 on Sep 22, 2015 |
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Sep 22, 2015 03:57
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mrbass21 posted:
I'm almost positive this is the kind of poo poo I would pull in pre-k too. I would get upset over the most inane things. Once my kindergarten teacher was explaining that hot dogs are really bad for you, and then apparently I started crying saying that my mom was trying to kill my older brother because she fed him a hot dog the previous night.
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Sep 22, 2015 16:33
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It's been so long since my son was an adorable toddler but I still love the names he gave everyone in our family. Nonny, Pampa, Googie, Nanu and Caca. Now, Nonny was right on because that was what my mother wanted to be called instead of Grandma. Pampa is toddler-speak for Grandpa. Googie was my sister Julie; I can see that. Nanu? Nanu was my brother Louie. And Caca was my grandmother Cora. But the best part was that we lived in Texas. And when my mother and I were out to lunch sans toddler, my mom still used Caca to refer to my grandmother. At a Mexican restaurant.
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Sep 23, 2015 03:07
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"I paused the show right before they said the answer. I hung myself on a cliff!"
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Sep 23, 2015 03:32
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I asked my 2 year old what his favorite animal was. A ghost 
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Sep 25, 2015 14:37
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Friends of mine just had a baby. Their four-year-old keeps asking "where's his mommy and daddy?" He doesn't seem to be grasping the concept yet that he has to SHARE his mommy and daddy with this newcomer.
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Sep 25, 2015 15:48
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gingersmurf posted:It's been so long since my son was an adorable toddler but I still love the names he gave everyone in our family. Nonny, Pampa, Googie, Nanu and Caca. Now, Nonny was right on because that was what my mother wanted to be called instead of Grandma. Pampa is toddler-speak for Grandpa. Googie was my sister Julie; I can see that. Nanu? Nanu was my brother Louie. And Caca was my grandmother Cora. My parents tried to teach me the word "popem" (as in, a donut hole) at the same time they were teaching me the word "grandpa." I'll be 30 in April and I still call my grandpa Popem Bob.
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Sep 26, 2015 06:16
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3 1/2 year old nephew was in the living room, just him and the dog. In the kitchen, we could hear him giggling. Mom: "He's having too much fun. Go check." I go into the living room to find that my nephew has placed every blanket, stuffed animal and cushion he could find on top of the dog. Little dude was so proud of himself. A few minutes later, the dog got up.  Now she's not comfortable!
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Sep 26, 2015 12:20
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Taught my 4 year old niece what a karate chop is so now she runs around yelling CHOTTY CHOP! and knife handing people. I've created a monster.
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Sep 26, 2015 17:09
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Last winter I was on vacation in Los Angeles. I was sitting on a bench by the beach when this family walked by with their dog. The dog stopped to take a squat and the little boy yelled "MOM CAN I PICK UP THE POOP??!?!". Little dude will be a great sanitation engineer someday. More recently, my partner and I were at a park, and some random kid came up to us and said in a very serious voice, "I hate portapotties. I want to blow them all up". Kids these days are so obsessed with poop.
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Sep 26, 2015 19:02
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Heard this conversation between a father and his two young kids (I'm bad at ages, older one was maybe 4 and the younger 2ish): Father: You don't have to tell (younger kid) what to do. You're not his boss. Kid: (perfectly timed pause) But I am his boss!
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Sep 27, 2015 03:04
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My four year old who is obsessed with Jurassic Park just told me during dinner (pretending to be a dinosaur) "I don't want to be fed. I want to hunt."
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Sep 30, 2015 01:04
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My littlest sister is 2, going on three, and she's gone from being painfully shy and quiet to being a devotee of Khorne, lord of skulls while I wasn't looking. Best illustrated when we were playing dollhouses together with her Peppa Pig toys: :Peppa Pig promised Mummy Pig she's not going to jump in the muddy puddle.:That's good of her, she'd get the house dirty if she did.:She's jumping in the muddy puddle!:Oh no! I bet mummy pig is going to be upset.Oh, no, it's okay.:Oh? Why? PEPPA PIG IS GOING TO DESTROY THEIR HOUSE proceeds to smash peppa into the house and send everything flying
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Sep 30, 2015 12:28
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Recently a fifth grade student and I were having a discussion about movies he thinks I should see. He recommended one, told me the plot, told me the ending, then told me to forget that he told me the ending. 
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Sep 30, 2015 20:39
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In the grocery store by the peanut butter, a 7 year old grabs a jar. Mom  Kid make sure it isnt crunchy, you dont like that... oh its chunky!! I dont want to be chunky, I want to be smooth!
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Oct 2, 2015 02:26
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I'm 6'7", I just heard a kid in the supermarket tell his Granddad: "Granddad.... That man is too big!"
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Oct 5, 2015 13:26
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Tea Bone posted:I'm 6'7", I just heard a kid in the supermarket tell his Granddad: That happened to me too, as well as a kid not looking where she's walking, bumping into my leg and just staring at me for a while with her mouth agape before running to her mom and whispering and pointing. Taeke has a new favorite as of 16:18 on Oct 5, 2015 |
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Oct 5, 2015 14:18
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Tea Bone posted:I'm 6'7", I just heard a kid in the supermarket tell his Granddad:
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Oct 5, 2015 15:49
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http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3740700&perpage=40&pagenumber=386#post451086402 My son and I are in the ER for some weird rash he just got. I gave him my phone to calm down and stuff and he somehow opened the awful app, navigated to the Destiny thread, hit reply typed gibberish then hit post. Absolutely mind blowing set of coincidences. Especially at 16 months.
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Oct 6, 2015 05:21
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