NCAA Week 2 Aftermath: Jacksonville State is an offense to God

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NCAA Week 2 Aftermath: Jacksonville State is an offense to God

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TheWordOfTheDayIs: Nov 9, 2009; Blessed with an unmatched sense of direction

The most exhilarating moment of Oklahoma State's game with Central Arkansas was when OSU's live mascot, a horse named "Bullet," bucked its rider and then scared the marching band out of formation:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIXEf2BOrg8

# ? Sep 15, 2015 18:02

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# ? Jun 1, 2024 06:07

Neil Armbong: Jan 16, 2004; If anybody wants to see, there's a Donkey Kong kill screen coming up.; Pillbug

I knew a bunch of alums who cancelled season tickets because of Patterson, so happy to see him fired. I hope Texas will give Strong four years, since statistically Texas will be worse off if they change too soon.

Neil Armbong fucked around with this message at 18:06 on Sep 15, 2015

# ? Sep 15, 2015 18:03

fast cars loose anus: Mar 2, 2007; Pillbug

Here's Chip Brown's story from the summer about all the silly poo poo Patterson did; everyone should give it a look.

I figured when it came out that Joe Jamail had cancelled his suite that his days were numbered but I didn't think it would be this fast. When the guy whose name is on the field stops attending games you are probably hosed.

# ? Sep 15, 2015 18:05

Scarf: Jun 24, 2005; On sight

quote:

People think there's only one way to win a football game, and that's not true. For instance, I saw Hawaii didn't score a point but did get to leave Ohio after the game.

quote:

Call Toledo Jim Henson, cause they're puttin' pigs in space.

Scarf fucked around with this message at 18:09 on Sep 15, 2015

# ? Sep 15, 2015 18:06

Invicta{HOG}, M.D.: Jan 16, 2002

kayakyakr posted:

Was this week's Meltdown posted already? http://www.rollbamaroll.com/2015/9/15/9329285/nsfw-its-meltdown-time-week-2-sec-is-overrated-edition

It's funny that the Vols board seems so bad but Auburn and Arkansas seem pretty well composed given what was happening. I guess when you have the entire game to prepare for the end it's easier than thinking you are cruising and then getting beat.

# ? Sep 15, 2015 18:07

buddhanc: Feb 16, 2010

Chip Brown did a surprisingly competent job throughout this story. He pretty much continually hammered Patterson.

# ? Sep 15, 2015 18:07

MourningView: Sep 2, 2006; Is this Heaven?

Enraged by Iowa fans daring to express optimism, The Angry Iowa Running Back Hating God has quietly returned this week. Starter LeShaun Daniels is questionable with an ankle injury he suffered early against ISU. Supposedly they got good news on he and Ott yesterday, but Ferentz still called both injuries "significant" and Daniels has a long injury history so I'm not holding my breath. Now nominal third string back Derrick Mitchell has been suspended for some unknown code of conduct violation (which in the past has often been a prelude to the player transferring or getting chucked off the team but I have no idea how serious this one is). This leaves the Iowa's running back situation as less than ideal!

1. Jordan Canzeri- Tiny senior scatback who has been sporadically successful in a supporting role and had a great game against ISU last week. Not really suited for being an every down back because of his size but he's a solid player. I have zero issues with him playing but if he gets a lot of carries or has to pound the ball between the tackles he will 100% definitely break down.

2. Akrum Wadley- Undersized. Started one game last year against Northwestern and promptly had the best rushing day of any Iowa back all season. He's probably the most talented pure runner on the team, but unfortunately the coaches can't trust him because he has somehow fumbled the ball 4 times in fewer than 40 career carries. He got buried at the end of the last year despite looking strong when he hung onto the ball and he hasn't touched the ball this season after fumbling in week 1 mop up duty.

3. Marcel Joly- RS Freshman who has been playing running back from like 3 months after moving from CB this offseason. Undersized.

4. Eric Graham- True Freshman desperation offer after another commit bolted for Michigan. Complete nothing recruit, probably a redshirt.

5. Jonathan Parker ?- Listed as a WR right now but played RB sort of last year. By which I mean we would bring him in three times a game and then immediately hand the ball to him on a fly sweep every single time, because that was not obvious or predictable at all. Somehow this stopped working around week 4 or so, but we brought it back last week to a shocking failure. Responsible for the single dumbest kick return of all time in last year's Whatever The Gator Bowl Is Called. Also undersized with fumbling issues.

6. Adam Cox- WOOOO FULLBACK BITCH LET'S DO THE WEISMAN

MourningView fucked around with this message at 18:16 on Sep 15, 2015

# ? Sep 15, 2015 18:12

fast cars loose anus: Mar 2, 2007; Pillbug

kayakyakr posted:

Was this week's Meltdown posted already? http://www.rollbamaroll.com/2015/9/15/9329285/nsfw-its-meltdown-time-week-2-sec-is-overrated-edition

Holy poo poo

some tennessee fan posted:

Being a Tennessee fan is like a love affair. Each season you see your sweetheart anew. She starts out beautiful sweet, attractive in every way, but by the end if the season you have a clear view if her. As a young fan I saw my sweetheart as attractive and when she lost games she was still beautiful. In the seventies, Bama always roughed her up, but she was mine and I had hope that she would be the most beautiful. I attend the university in the 80s and when I was at ut, my girl still lost but she was fun to be around. She even beat the bears teams! Heck there were miracles and victories that show me hiw great she was. The 90s lead to her greatest beauty! She was my darling! There were some heartbreaks but the 98 season captured my heart and the vision of her was set! Each fall I new she would look just like she did then.

But something happened! She got sick. About 2001 she lost to lsu. It hurt because I thought she was still beautiful, but the rest if the world started to we that she had a wart! It started small! But by 2005 it had grown and she had other warts! I vils never see them but all the other school fans could and the always pointed them out. My sweethearts appearance began to change. She started covering up the warts! Each year everyone heard she will be the most beautiful this year! I believed she was beautiful and each year she was going to be the prettiest yet! However other fans said she had the worst warts ever! Sure enough by 2005 I could usually see her warts by game 3! They were ugly! Each season 2006, 07, 08, I would see them! I was always blind to how bad they were and still saw my true love as beautiful! Until 2013, at the vandy game! She was old smelly and ugly! Could I love her? Florida 14, ooh! She had warts, farted and had stank breath! But I started off the test in love! 2015, I was in love! She was the most beautiful girl! Others said the warts are as bad as ever but I did not see them. Till today! She has warts , she is stinky and hard to love! My heart is broken and I can't unsee what she looks like! One ugly butch!

# ? Sep 15, 2015 18:27

Top Hats Monthly: Jun 22, 2011; People are people so why should it be, that you and I should get along so awfully blink blink recall STOP IT YOU POSH LITTLE SHIT

Another Rutgers player arrested

# ? Sep 15, 2015 18:32

Pakled: Aug 6, 2011; WE ARE SMART

Dr. Gitmo Moneyson posted:

Supposedly the posters at ~~ShaggyBevo~~ ShaggyTEXAS pulled another plane with a banner stunt at the Rice game saying something about firing Patterson, like they did for Greg Davis several years ago.

There was a banner, but Shaggy was as surprised as everyone else. No idea who was behind it.

The Notorious ZSB posted:

Strong will make a winner out of Texas if they give him time to recover from Mack's awful roster/recruiting management. Or they can hope for the quick fix and sink this ship even further. As though 1 coaching hire will magically fix the void of quality linemen on both sides of the ball.

Yup. Practically everyone making plays on Saturday was a freshman. Get those guys more experience and bring in more like them, things will start looking up. If we have a lovely season (and we will) I think hiring a badass OC is a better move than firing Strong.

# ? Sep 15, 2015 18:34

pillsburysoldier: Feb 11, 2008; Yo, peep that shit

# ? Sep 15, 2015 18:35

Dattserberg: Dec 30, 2005; National champion, Heisman winner, King crab enthusiast

quote:

Good for Bob Stoops, who gets to pretend beating UT is impressive twice this year.

e: one more because goddamn son!!

quote:

After losing to the Rockets like that, maybe we should rename them the Arkansas 1945 Londons.

Dattserberg fucked around with this message at 18:39 on Sep 15, 2015

# ? Sep 15, 2015 18:35

Marquis de Pyro: Sep 25, 2006; Evil Prevails

It sounds like Patterson was somehow even more out of touch than Dave Brandon, but he did hire actual competent in demand coaches instead of saying 'Pursue Jim Harbaugh? Nah, my good friend Brady Hoke is the man for the job.'

It's a tough competition between those two.

# ? Sep 15, 2015 18:37

Raku: Nov 7, 2012; Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

Roll Tide

Marquis de Pyro posted:

It sounds like Patterson was somehow even more out of touch than Dave Brandon, but he did hire actual competent in demand coaches instead of saying 'Pursue Jim Harbaugh? Nah, my good friend Brady Hoke is the man for the job.'

It's a tough competition between those two.

Hoke will win more games and probably last longer

# ? Sep 15, 2015 18:39

Marquis de Pyro: Sep 25, 2006; Evil Prevails

Raku posted:

Hoke will win more games and probably last longer

He also hired Shaka Smart didn't he

I mean even if neither of them works out it's better than if he hired the functional equivalent of Greg Davis

# ? Sep 15, 2015 18:43

MourningView: Sep 2, 2006; Is this Heaven?

pillsburysoldier posted:

I really enjoy Cuttcliffe and Bill Snyder's ongoing contest to see who can be College Footballs Best Grandpa.

# ? Sep 15, 2015 18:52

Crotch Bat: Dec 6, 2003; Much like with everything else in life, the Euros seem to have more sense on how to do things in a fun atmosphere without sucking the soul out of the event.

quote:

That's a tough loss for UVA, though it is refreshing to see a cop make life miserable for a bunch of rich white people for once.

# ? Sep 15, 2015 18:54

Invicta{HOG}, M.D.: Jan 16, 2002

MourningView posted:

Enraged by Iowa fans daring to express optimism,

I think it is nice that you actually seem happy about Iowa this year and hopefully they do well and Ferentz gets a 20 year contract extension.

# ? Sep 15, 2015 18:55

MourningView: Sep 2, 2006; Is this Heaven?

I feel moderately confident that they will not extend him until he's 80, but it's hard to ever be completely sure. They're probably going to fire the AD who gave him the last one at some point this season due to a number of discrimination lawsuits.

# ? Sep 15, 2015 18:57

DJExile: Jun 28, 2007

Crotch Bat posted:

oh my god hahahahahaha

# ? Sep 15, 2015 19:01

That Works: Jul 22, 2006; Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy

Didn't hear about the Patterson news until just now.

:toot:

# ? Sep 15, 2015 19:06

Kim Jong Il: Aug 16, 2003

BI NOW GAY LATER posted:

I am going to give you a spoiler: Charlie Strong won't survive more than more bad season, particularly with a new AD.

No one ever went broke expecting the worst out of Texas boosters. Still, that would be so colossally stupid. This would be Rich Rod 2.0. Let's say South Carolina will snap him up in 5 seconds if that happened and would be extraordinarily successful.

quote:

According to sources, the recommendation of UT's search firm - Korn/Ferry International - was then-West Virginia AD Oliver Luck. Patterson was an outside candidate recommended to former Texas president Bill Powers by Jeff Hunt, a Texas graduate working as the paid media consultant to the Pac-12, Pac-12 commissioner Larry Scott and the Pac-12 Network.

Hunt used to be a partner with Paul Walker in Pulse Point, an Austin-based consulting group contracted by Powers' office beginning in 2010 (under Walker's name) for a fee of roughly $300,000 per year before Pulse Point was sold in 2013, sources said.

Hunt, not listed anywhere on the UT payroll, is now Patterson's closest confidante and helped plan the 2015 football season ticket renewal package as well as a survey of the media that led to the firing of longtime Texas sports information director John Bianco, sources said.

Hunt has tried to work closely with Austin American-Statesman reporters Brian Davis and Kirk Bohls in an attempt to secure favorable coverage for Patterson and Patterson's management of UT athletics, multiple sources said.

Also, this bit right here is gold.

quote:

On Sept. 4, the night before the Notre Dame game, at a high-dollar Texas reception thrown by donors for Fenves at the top of the Hancock Tower in Chicago, Fenves acknowledged some key figures in the room.

He publicly thanked Texas chancellor Adm. William McRaven as well as those who helped organize the event. But Fenves made no acknowledgement of Patterson, who was also in the room.

Sources said there were no name tags for Patterson and his wife, Yasmine Michael, when they checked in for the reception for Fenves.

That allegedly led to a fit thrown by Michael, who has gotten very involved in donor relations at Texas. The lack of name tags also led to questions about if Patterson and Michael were invited, sources said.

I. M. Gei fucked around with this message at 19:40 on Sep 15, 2015

# ? Sep 15, 2015 19:37

Crotch Bat: Dec 6, 2003; Much like with everything else in life, the Euros seem to have more sense on how to do things in a fun atmosphere without sucking the soul out of the event.

Was not aware that Auburn's drop is the biggest in poll history after a win.

# ? Sep 15, 2015 19:46

dirty shrimp money: Jan 8, 2001

El Penis posted:

It seems Texas has a new enemy, and his name is Jeff Hunt.

The man works for Larry Scott and the Pac 12. That's fuckin gold.

# ? Sep 15, 2015 19:53

DJExile: Jun 28, 2007

Per FB Scoops and Eleven Warriors, OSU's OC/OLine coach Ed Warinner now has a base salary of $600,000, up from $364,000 when he was just OLine coach.

# ? Sep 15, 2015 19:57

Kim Jong Il: Aug 16, 2003

Since it's starting to get out there now, I'll give the full rumor on Carroo. I do NOT have reputable knowledge, this is just what is going around.

Supposedly he was having an affair with a Rutgers recruiting "hostess". After the game on Saturday, this hostess ran into Carroo's mother and girlfriend, and they got into an altercation outside of the athletics center. Carroo learned of it, and sprinted out of the locker room. The hostess attacked Carroo's mother, and Carroo responded by slamming the hostess into the ground.

# ? Sep 15, 2015 19:57

DJExile: Jun 28, 2007

Kim Jong Il posted:

Since it's starting to get out there now, I'll give the full rumor on Carroo. I do NOT have reputable knowledge, this is just what is going around.

Supposedly he was having an affair with a Rutgers recruiting "hostess". After the game on Saturday, this hostess ran into Carroo's mother and girlfriend, and they got into an altercation outside of the athletics center. Carroo learned of it, and sprinted out of the locker room. The hostess attacked Carroo's mother, and Carroo responded by slamming the hostess into the ground.

holy poo poo :stare:

# ? Sep 15, 2015 20:00

Thermos H Christ: Sep 6, 2007; WINNINGEST BEVO

Hoo boy

quote:

Fenves met with Patterson Tuesday morning and told him he could accept reassignment within the athletic department, or accept a 1-year buyout of roughly $1.4 million, or possibly face being fired for cause, two sources told HornsDigest.com.

# ? Sep 15, 2015 20:05

fast cars loose anus: Mar 2, 2007; Pillbug

Kim Jong Il posted:

Since it's starting to get out there now, I'll give the full rumor on Carroo. I do NOT have reputable knowledge, this is just what is going around.

Supposedly he was having an affair with a Rutgers recruiting "hostess". After the game on Saturday, this hostess ran into Carroo's mother and girlfriend, and they got into an altercation outside of the athletics center. Carroo learned of it, and sprinted out of the locker room. The hostess attacked Carroo's mother, and Carroo responded by slamming the hostess into the ground.

Jesus what a dick

Thermos H Christ posted:

Hoo boy

I wish I were ever in a position where someone told me "you can leave but we'll give you 1.4 million loving dollars" and I could go "nah thats cool"

# ? Sep 15, 2015 20:08

I. M. Gei: Jun 26, 2005; CHIEFS

BITCH

Thermos H Christ posted:

Hoo boy

poo poo is hitting the fan and I love it. :allears:

Now bring back the A&M game.

# ? Sep 15, 2015 20:14

dirty shrimp money: Jan 8, 2001

Kim Jong Il posted:

Since it's starting to get out there now, I'll give the full rumor on Carroo. I do NOT have reputable knowledge, this is just what is going around.

Wouldn't be the first time a Jersey whore wrecked a man's life

# ? Sep 15, 2015 20:24

Seaniqua: Mar 12, 2004; "We'll see how the first year goes. But people better get us now, because we're going to keep getting better and better."

Korranus posted:

Wouldn't be the first time a Jersey whore wrecked a man's life

cool

# ? Sep 15, 2015 20:29

anne frank fanfic: Oct 31, 2005

cancel cable

# ? Sep 15, 2015 20:36

C. Everett Koop: Aug 18, 2008

1: Since the GT/Notre Dame matchup is the 40th anniversary of the Rudy game, GDT title HAS to be "Rudy Was Offsides." I will hear no argument to the contrary.

2: Considering how bad the bert experience has gone, I could imagine Jeff Long going for the Texas AD job. He's the one that runs the playoff committee and is probably looking for a golden parachute instead of the ~~250~~ ~~300~~ 350 pound albatross he hired as a coach.

3: lol bert gonna go like 3-23 in the SEC and have to go to Youngstown State or something lol you fat gently caress Big Ten Forever :smug:

# ? Sep 15, 2015 20:37

buddhanc: Feb 16, 2010

What would Jeff Long be like as an AD? The names under early consideration being reported on ESPN are Bowlsby, Luck, and Jurich.

# ? Sep 15, 2015 20:43

Spacemonkey57: Dec 1, 2004

DJExile posted:

Per FB Scoops and Eleven Warriors, OSU's OC/OLine coach Ed Warinner now has a base salary of $600,000, up from $364,000 when he was just OLine coach.

They were paying Bollman $350K, that means Warinner is still underpaid.

# ? Sep 15, 2015 20:46

PostNouveau: Sep 3, 2011; VY till I die; Grimey Drawer

Yay!

Now why does everyone think this automatically leads to a shorter rope for Strong?

# ? Sep 15, 2015 20:50

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# ? Jun 1, 2024 06:07

Raku: Nov 7, 2012; Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

Roll Tide

PostNouveau posted:

Yay!

Now why does everyone think this automatically leads to a shorter rope for Strong?

because his team sucks, basically

# ? Sep 15, 2015 20:56

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NCAA Week 2 Aftermath: Jacksonville State is an offense to God

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kayakyakr posted:

kayakyakr posted:

some tennessee fan posted:

Top Hats Monthly posted:

Dr. Gitmo Moneyson posted:

The Notorious ZSB posted:

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Marquis de Pyro posted:

Raku posted:

pillsburysoldier posted:

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MourningView posted:

Crotch Bat posted:

BI NOW GAY LATER posted:

Top Hats Monthly posted:

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El Penis posted:

Kim Jong Il posted:

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Kim Jong Il posted:

Thermos H Christ posted:

Thermos H Christ posted:

Kim Jong Il posted:

Korranus posted:

DJExile posted:

PostNouveau posted: