Silly Burrito posted:It's going to be a long year. Yep. I was somewhat prepared as I prefaced any comments on the season with "If our defense is even halfway decent" so yeah... not looking that way. I guess growing up rooting for them while they sucked forever has made me be at peace with it all. It's gonna be sad watching the decline in real time but also I think its alright. This is the nature of things.
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Sep 21, 2015 03:22
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i worked very hard on this, still a work-in-progress but I think y'all should get the idea I don't mind saying, it's beautiful
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Sep 21, 2015 06:37
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You guys forget I don't actually know what I'm talking about.
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Sep 21, 2015 06:48
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Magicpants posted:i worked very hard on this, still a work-in-progress but I think y'all should get the idea We are just spotting the rest of the division a few games so that December will be interesting.
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Sep 21, 2015 08:35
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Big Bob Pataki posted:You guys forget I don't actually know what I'm talking about. You're kind of the Jim Morrison of TFF. I have no idea what the gently caress you're talking about, and why you're trying to fit Oedipus into everything, but there's something about the lilt of your voice that takes me to a far realm of dark and intoxicating imagination.
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Sep 21, 2015 10:01
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Once I had, a little game I liked to crawl, back in my brain I think you know, the game I mean I mean the game, called 'go insane' Also I am dead and gay
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Sep 21, 2015 10:12
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Chichevache posted:We are just spotting the rest of the division a few games so that December will be interesting. Awfully good of you chaps.
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Sep 21, 2015 11:47
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Qwijib0 posted:Awfully good of you chaps. You know the Seahawks, our mantra is "competition". If you won't give us a challenge then we will make it easy for you. The last two years we tried not having a passing game. This year we don't have a passing game or a line. Next year Lynch will be as dried up as the last lime at a taco stand, so we won't have a run game either.
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Sep 21, 2015 12:54
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Magicpants posted:i worked very hard on this, still a work-in-progress but I think y'all should get the idea The NFC:W poles suddenly and violently reversed.
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Sep 21, 2015 16:01
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Hey Febreeze, as it turns out the lost-bet art for the Dolphins-Jaguars game is pretty much a literal representation of what happened.
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Sep 21, 2015 20:50
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This started as a post I made in aftermath and news/views but I think it's focused enough that it deserves to be made into a full-scale FART. Hope you guys like it. The Ride Isn't Over, or How I Learned to Quit Worrying and Love Chip Kelly's Wild Ride I love the Philadelphia Eagles. A lot. Probably more than is healthy. I once decorated a Christmas tree with nothing but Eagles ornaments. I was at the Lions/Eagles blizzard game and froze my rear end off. I will probably name my first-born son Donovan. And as a result of this, I tend to really, really overreact to wins and losses from my team. You may have missed it, but the Eagles shat their pants on national TV yesterday afternoon. I was obviously despondent. Here's a picture for proof:  I was pissed, I was mad and I was convinced the Eagles were going to suck the rest of the year and everything was awful. And that all may very well be true. But you know what? It really sucks to actively hate your team like that. It's unpleasant and you're unfun to be around. I did a lot of thinking today and I don't want to be a fan like that. I know of a place where for a while all the fans got down on their teams all the time. It started as a joke but after a while it was almost impossible to genuinely enjoy your team. And that sucks. Football shouldn't be like that. Football should be fun. And football fans should be eternal optimists. So in light of that, I'm going to explain why everything isn't all that bad for the Eagles. And even if you're not an Eagles fan, this stuff applies to you too. Substitute your team in for the Eagles because I can guarantee that they too have a similar history. Part I - The Historical Argument A wise man once said "The Philadelphia Eagles are merely a series of booms and busts; the long run trend of the franchise is positive." That wise man was me. I said it, and I completely ripped off John Maynard Keynes in doing it. In light of that quote, I'm going to walk through some of the busts we Eagles fans have experienced and talk about how those turned into booms. 2003 In 2003 the Eagles were coming off an NFC Championship Game loss to the eventual Super Bowl Champion Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Fans thought things would be different but the Eagles disappointed and started the season 0-2. People were pissed. ESPN posted:In his worst game since his rookie season, McNabb completed just 18 of 46 passes for 186 yards, threw two interceptions -- one returned for a TD -- lost two fumbles, and heard loud boos for the first time since the day he was drafted. Eagles fans who attended the 1999 draft in New York wanted running back Ricky Williams and booed McNabb's selection with the No. 2 overall pick. Yikes! Guess that must have turned into some kind of lost season righ...  Oh. They went 12-4, were the #1 seed and made it to the NFC Championship game for the 2nd year in a row? Well...I bet there's another example! 2006 Ah yes, here we go. In 2006 the Eagles lost McNabb in Week 11 against the Titans and got blown out. They followed this up with another blow out to the Colts and were sitting 5-6 with games remaining against a tough Carolina team, all 3 of their divisional foes and the Falcons. And they didn't have McNabb! I bet they sucked and drafted in the top 10 right?  Oh. They won all 5 of those games, won a playoff game with a backup QB and were close to going to play the Bears in the NFC Championship Game. Um, well, okay. I bet there's another example right? 2008 Only 2 years later the Eagles were in even worse shape. After losing to the Giants and TYING the putrid Cincinnati Bengals, the Eagles get blown out 36-7 against the Ravens. McNabb gets benched at half time after going 8/18 for 59 yards and 2 picks. The only points they score come from a kickoff return. They are 5-5-1. And what did they do?  Oh yeah, they go 9-6-1 and are a play away from making the Super Bowl. Okay, look this is really cheating. Those were all Andy Reid teams. It's not fair to compare Chip Kelly to those teams, those teams had good defenses they could rely on. Yeah about that... 2013 The Eagles are in their first season under new head coach Chip Kelly and things do not look good. After scoring a combined 10 points against the Giants and Dallas (at home!) the Eagles are 3-5 and look absolutely dead in the water. Stop me if you can guess what's going to happen next.  Not only do they come back to win their division, but they're the 3 seed! Yes, they lose to the Saints, but this was the first time a rookie head coach had ever won his division, much less after being 2 games under .500 with only 8 games to go. So to recap, in the last 12 years the Eagles have looked completely terrible a total of 4 times. Their final record in those years? 41-22-1, good for a 64.1% winning percentage. That's insane. Did you honestly think they would come out looking that good, given that I picked years in which the team had absolutely horrible strings of play? The historical record of the Eagles indicates that 0-2 is far, far too early to panic given that a number of past teams have come back and been legitimate Super Bowl contenders, with all but one team winning the division and one team even earning the #1 seed in the NFC. Part II - A Tale of Two Games I'm going to post the offensive stats from 2 games. Hell, I'll even tell you that they're Eagles games. These are going to be two games where the offense was absolutely putrid and disgusting. Then I want you to tell me what each game was. GAME 1 PASSING 23/37, 224 yards, 1 TD, 2 INTs GAME 2 PASSING 21/43, 195 yards, 0 TD, 2 INTs GAME 1 RUSHING TOTAL 17 attempts, 8 yards, long run of 9 yards GAME 2 RUSHING TOTAL 12 attempts, 22 yards, long run of 5 yards Now that you've had some time to think about it, here are the answers. Game 1 is Dallas @ Philadelphia this season. Kind of obvious, since it's the whole reason I'm writing this, but humor me, okay? http://espn.go.com/nfl/boxscore?gameId=400791705 Game 2 is Philadelphia @ San Francisco in the 2014 season. http://espn.go.com/nfl/boxscore?gameId=400554315 This utterly shocked me. I remember the Eagles looking pretty good, if a bit out of sorts in that Niners game, but the truth is that no, they were really bad. At least on offense. And that leads me to my next point, if the Eagles special teams or defense scores a single touchdown in the game against the Cowboys people would not be losing their minds right now. Look at those stat lines! Nick Foles actually had a worse game than Sam Bradford did and no one was calling for mass executions at the NovaCare Complex. And what did we do after that game? Oh, right, we beat the Rams and got our first shutdown in over 2 decades against the Giants. True, we didn't make the playoffs, but we went 10-6 and honestly, I'm perfectly happy with a 10-6 record. Most of the time that's good enough for the playoffs, we just got unlucky. So in summary, -The season isn't over -The Eagles have had multiple years of terrible play and still made the playoffs -We had a game last year where the offense was even worse than yesterday and the world didn't end -R E L A X And as one final point for any non-Eagles fans reading this, this isn't just an Eagles phenomenon. The Colts started 0-2 last year, the Seahawks were 1-3, the Patriots got blown out by the Chiefs. Even really, really good teams can start out poorly. So don't despair just because Weeks 1 and 2 didn't go your way. axeil fucked around with this message at 03:48 on Sep 22, 2015 |
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Sep 22, 2015 03:45
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That is wonderful and should be a F.A.R.T. post
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Sep 22, 2015 03:52
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Febreeze posted:That is wonderful and should be a F.A.R.T. post Thanks Febreeze. I already PM'd it to Ehud.  Dunno if there's something else I have to do to post it on the site. Maybe I'll write up versions for more teams, because everyone should still be pretty happy. Even teams that have looked awful so far could end up being Super Bowl champs this year. 
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Sep 22, 2015 03:59
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axeil posted:Even teams that have looked awful so far could end up being Super Bowl champs this year. I can assure you an afc south team won't win the super bowl
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Sep 22, 2015 04:10
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Metapod posted:I can assure you an afc south team won't win the super bowl Miracles Can HappenTM
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Sep 22, 2015 04:19
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Metapod posted:I can assure you an afc south team won't win the super bowl A finger on the monkeys paw curls as the superbowl is cancelled.
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Sep 22, 2015 14:09
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Edit wrong thread
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Sep 22, 2015 15:39
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Cowboys players have sophisticated wine palettes http://www.thedrawplay.com/comic/no-regrets-allowed/
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Sep 22, 2015 16:30
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Reposting this from the Week 2 Aftermath thread:Ozu posted:These were on reddit and are amazing.
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Sep 22, 2015 18:30
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Here are the loss cartoons I had to make, plus my predictions for week 3 http://uproxx.com/sports/2015/09/nfl-week-2-recap-drawings-predictions/
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Sep 23, 2015 17:30
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Febreeze posted:Here are the loss cartoons I had to make, plus my predictions for week 3 That Bucs/Saints pic is great and I hope the Saints win this week if only to see the new picture.
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Sep 23, 2015 17:46
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Febreeze posted:Here are the loss cartoons I had to make, plus my predictions for week 3 This is awesome, I've been looking forward to seeing this. I caught an article at the bottom about the Bucs QB's dad wearing this:  That's pretty great.
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Sep 23, 2015 17:50
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MindlessHavok posted:This is awesome, I've been looking forward to seeing this. Rapin and pillagin
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Sep 23, 2015 17:51
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Febreeze posted:Here are the loss cartoons I had to make, plus my predictions for week 3 The Saints-Bucs one is really good. I like the composition. Bort is funny though!
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Sep 23, 2015 17:57
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Febreeze posted:Here are the loss cartoons I had to make, plus my predictions for week 3 I feel like God has created so many upsets just to force more comics out of you
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Sep 23, 2015 18:23
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Febreeze posted:Here are the loss cartoons I had to make, plus my predictions for week 3 Really want this to happen: "If the Vikings win I will draw Teddy Bridgewater pushing Rivers into a river under a bridge."
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Sep 23, 2015 18:32
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Febreeze posted:Here are the loss cartoons I had to make, plus my predictions for week 3 The Dolphins one should have been the restaurant fight scene from Dumb and Dumber with Bortles ripping out Suh's heart. Yours is pretty good too. But that Browns one is loving perfect. PantsFreeZone fucked around with this message at 21:31 on Sep 23, 2015 |
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Sep 23, 2015 19:05
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That Works posted:That Bucs/Saints pic is great and I hope the Saints win this week if only to see the new picture. There's a good Cam/fig Newton joke just ready to happen.
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Sep 23, 2015 21:00
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MindlessHavok posted:This is awesome, I've been looking forward to seeing this. "32 NFL Logos as their quarterback" Hop on it, Febreeze!
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Sep 23, 2015 21:13
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seiferguy posted:"32 NFL Logos as their quarterback" Oh drat
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Sep 23, 2015 21:27
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Derek Carr is easy, just take the Raider logo give it a weird pube goatee and sink the non-covered eye back into the skull
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Sep 23, 2015 21:30
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seiferguy posted:"32 NFL Logos as their quarterback" Broncos is already done. 
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Sep 23, 2015 23:22
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I was inspired to FART by Chip Kelly's Wild Ride so I made a new avatar for myself. Thanks to whoever made that Frank Gore photoshop back during Frank Gore's time as an Eagle. axeil fucked around with this message at 04:30 on Sep 24, 2015 |
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Sep 24, 2015 04:22
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Sep 24, 2015 04:59
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That's a good one. Who does these anyway?
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Sep 24, 2015 05:09
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axeil posted:That's a good one. Pixar artist named Bobby rubio https://twitter.com/Bobby_Rubio
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Sep 24, 2015 05:11
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axeil posted:I was inspired to FART by Chip Kelly's Wild Ride so I made a new avatar for myself. You should have added a whammy from the old Press Your Luck show in there just for effect.
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Sep 24, 2015 05:16
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Dango Bango posted:You should have added a whammy from the old Press Your Luck show in there just for effect. maybe i should've put all the fumbles and DeMarco Murray rushing attempts from the last game 
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Sep 24, 2015 05:22
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MindlessHavok posted:This is awesome, I've been looking forward to seeing this. It should have crab legs coming out of the neck like in The Thing. sean10mm posted:Really want this to happen: With the caption "Go back from whence you came!"
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Sep 24, 2015 05:41
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From the Bartending thread:bloody ghost titty posted:RIP Nrr. gently caress
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Sep 25, 2015 03:53
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