|
Look if I need someone to clear giant rats from my basement I'll hire a recently escaped convict that will rummage through all my belongings while I watch and occasionally talk about the weather, just like any other sane humble NPC. Wizards just make a mess.
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2015 23:01
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 16, 2024 07:56 |
|
|
Jukeboxblues posted:
I don't know about the worst. The trashiness is part of the attraction. I mean would I bring one back to the farm to meet Mom and Dad? HECK NO I WOULDN'T!! They have their issues, allot of the Daddy issues at that but when you are in the mood they are a lot of fun. It's like the one I was hooking up with in college. The enchantress and I were at an inn one night for copper piece ale night. The orc worked as a shot girl, turns out she was working that inn that night. When she came across me and the enchantress having a good time she seemed pissed at first. I thought she was going hurl her little tray full of tubes of potions at us. Suddenly she was very sweet she hugged us both and gave us a couple of shots on the house. After she was done with her gig the the three of us hung out and had allot of fun. We wound up in a 3 way. When i woke up in the hay loft above the stables the next morning between them I thought "Thank the divines! This is awesome!" When the orc woke up however she was pissed. She slapped me started yelling her head off and called the enchantress an epic concubine. Then she gathered up her skimpy shot girl rags and stormed off. Meanwhile the enchantress just laid their smiling and laughing and taking the whole thing in, she was pretty good natured about it. I later asked her and she said she had nothing to do with how the previous night played out. I think she was being honest. Good times...
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2015 23:37
|
|
|
It sure is easy to get along for you player classes. But what about us non-playable classes huh? You think we aren't bothered when you dicks go stealing from our dungeons? I get this bigotry all the time. "Oh, he's a Skeleton king! He's just a greedy dungeon boss who doesn't share his loot! Let's beat him up for exp!" Dicks. Skeletons have feelings too! That isn't loot! Its our belongings!
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 00:27
|
|
|
Ay'm an Orc Musician, Ay waz never "Gud" enough to be 'art of my local Bard college, cause all ay 'an do is play the drums. Is hard to get by as a normal musician, getting by with only an average Charisma due to me parents stat cross match-up. 'Ot having a proper instrument, avein' to get by banging coconuts to make noise for a few copper's a day from me performances, but 've been getting better, been saving for some master work war drums from me cousin, an getting me self into a small group of other disenfranchised musicians who couldn't make it as "official" bards. E'll be playing on the south end corner of the rogue quarter this Friday and if the buskin's good e'll play the whole weekend. We've got a Goblin who can sing pretty good for how high is' voice is, a 'eifling lady who plays a violin but was not accepted to the local bardic community for her families worship of Asmodeus, and a Ophidian dat gots a Accordion. "ve not had alot of trouble when it comes to me being an orc outside the 'rofessional institutions around me kingdom, but a'least to the Merchant's 'old as no providence, an I can buy anything in the market wit'out a fuss, and see a cleric at my local chapel of rather neutral align'ment, but me family as always been proud support'rs of Surtr, since the mountain we 'raditionally came from was 'overned by fire giants so is' part of me tribe's 'istory an 'ulture. An ye an't choose where and what ye born 'umies, e'ben a sober d'warf 'an see dat. We 'an choose what ta' do wit all the time we got left, and mine is gonna be makin' music wit me friends, and trying to get by.
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 00:36
|
|
|
As a monk, I want to apologize to the wizard community for always beating you guys up in your towers. It's just that as the most mobile person in my adventuring party, I always get tasked with doing the dirty work (Not to mention that I am resistant to most forms of magic.) Almost every wizard I've met that went to the mixed public schools badmouths us because of the stunning fists that they'd get hit with during gym class. But honestly, if some people in your community stopped trying to dominate regions through arcane power and actually respected democratic elections I wouldn't be forced to punch your staves out of your hands, karate chop your altars in halves, suplex you guys off your magical floating disks, or throw your keystones into unstable portals. Honestly, I'm kind of jealous sometimes of your magic. It gives you a lot of job opportunities, but us monks really get shafted. It's either adventuring, living as hermits in the mountains, or swearing a vow of poverty and just living off welfare (which I really disagree with.)
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 01:07
|
|
|
My class is elf
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 01:24
|
|
|
dirty nub posted:My class is elf old school when there was no race, just class
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 01:41
|
|
|
Another Paladin here. It took me years to accept my love of magic. I used to think I only liked magic because it was considered "wrong". But no, I really do like magic. And I like fighting too! I'm tired of people telling me to "pick a real class". It's possible to like both!
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 01:52
|
|
|
Nessa posted:Another Paladin here. It took me years to accept my love of magic. I used to think I only liked magic because it was considered "wrong". But no, I really do like magic. And I like fighting too! I'm tired of people telling me to "pick a real class". It's possible to like both! 
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 01:56
|
|
|
Just glad the heat's off us elfebophile clerics. My order can't take much more bad press.
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 02:13
|
|
|
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 02:30
|
|
|
WIZZAAARRRRDDDDD!!!!  You think that it is good to kill orcs! But it is you who is against nature!! Abomination! Book-licker!! Get corcked! And paladin! Orcs is evil?! Why? Because we want what you want? We want tree, but Elf says "Our tree!" We want ore, but Dwarf says "Our mountain!" We want slaves for the breeding pits, but Human says "Our women!" What is for the Orc to have?!! Nothing but hate!!! Kiss my axe!!  (User was Banished for this Post)
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 02:31
|
|
|
*votes for the ancient dragon dunkelzahn* *is confused why there starts being a bunch of cybermancy in the streets* doesn't polymorph wear off after a certain amount of time? because all i see is a bunch of sheeple i'm not anti-mage, i'm just a magic realist. i certainly wouldn't want any of my adventurers to be magic users - it would impact group cohesion. plus 
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 02:53
|
|
|
is doctor strange a wizard?
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 03:12
|
|
|
 wizards get all the ladies hot with their magics. i call this spell foreplay to a cucking
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 03:38
|
|
|
Leroy Dennui posted:im permabanned poster wizardstomper58. i first started exploring ud when i was about 12. by 14 i got really obsessed with the concept of "irony" and tried to channel it constantly, until my thought process got really bizarre and i would repeat things like "wizard staves" and "i love making GBS threads inside bags of holding" in my head for hours, and i would get really paranoid, start seeing things in the corners of my eyes etc, basically magic-induced hallucination. im now on potions of cure disease. i always wondered what the kind of "ironic" style of ud exploration was all about; i think it's the unconscious leaking in to the conscious, what jungian theory considered to be the cause of schizophrenic and schizotypal syptoms. i would advise all people who "get" ud to be careful because that likely means you have a predisposition to a dreadful curse. peace.
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 03:41
|
|
|
Always use the wizard.
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 04:04
|
|
|
As an active adventurer (Factotum) I just wanted to take a moment to provide everyone here with a reality check. WHERE do you think all the magical scrolls, potions, arms, armor & sundry gewgaws and doodads we turn up in our dungeon delves actually come from? How many wizards reading this via their scrying pool have made more than a few magical items of dire portent and devastating power this past year? Two? Three at most? What about you Paladins? How many times per fiscal quarter do you anoint a sword in the blood of an innocent maiden, to better smite a daemonic foe? No more than half a dozen I'd wager. And yet every adventure my party embarks on yields dozens of MODERN magical items, more than we know what to do with! These items far outnumber the ancient artifacts of antiquity - you might find one or two magical objects of the old style in an elder dragon's hoard on a lucky day, but otherwise its all the new stuff - and its all cheap trash! So, where's it all coming from? Three words folks: The Apprentice Economy. Nobody talks about it. It's the open secret and we all look the other way. These apprentices are packed into arcane laboratories in conditions that would make a feral barbarian from the Ash Plains of Mor'auth vomit. Some of them are compelled by Geas to work themselves to death, then rise and work again. Yet the High Council of the coastal kingdoms allows open trade with the Undying Empire & It's immortal Godlord. They even talk about changing the apprenticeship rules within our kingdoms to 'compete'! In my day the a wizard took only a few apprentices, and while a druid may rarely have an entire circle of acolytes they always allowed for a free range lifestyle. You had QUALITY magical items created in humane working conditions by happy apprentices. Its time for people, wizard, paladin druid or factotum to wake up. The Undying Empire is taking advantage of our kind hearts to flood our markets with cheap magical items, putting them into the hands of our monstrous foes & driving our economy into the dirt! You can't even give away magical daggers anymore. Here To Help fucked around with this message at 05:27 on Sep 22, 2015 |
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 05:19
|
|
|
I for one have problems with the fact that common folk assume all liches are libertarians. Yes we refuse to pay taxes. Yes we are fiercely independent. Yes we are mistrustful of the so called 'afterlife' from these 'god' like so many Jon Galts. And yes, I live far away from society in a secret cavern, planning for the apocalypse. But that doesn't mean anything. For one, I plan on creating the apocalypse not just surviving it. Also, it's tax loophole that a skeleton doesn't have to pay taxes. Not something I planed for. If some taxman really wants it though he can weather my Hall of Eternal Vivisection, he can have my gold. Just like anyone else trying to get in my cave.
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 05:38
|
|
|
what happens if you roll 8/9/7/8/9? what am I? do I have a group?
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 05:45
|
|
|
Very brave, all of you.
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 06:37
|
|
|
The other day, a warrior beat up my skeleton buddies and stole their loot. Luckily I knew a kind necromancer who was able to summon them back. If only all magic users were as kind to the undead as necromancers, we wouldn't have this kind of injustice. It isnt easy being a dungeon boss. I have to fight hordes of "adventurers" every day to keep my skeleton friends safe, and I can only defeat so many. drat adventurers, why can't they just raid their own dungeons?
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 07:20
|
|
|
TeeMerk posted:what happens if you roll 8/9/7/8/9? You are a very skilled farmer. 
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 07:32
|
|
|
The Skeleton King posted:The other day, a warrior beat up my skeleton buddies and stole their loot. Luckily I knew a kind necromancer who was able to summon them back. If only all magic users were as kind to the undead as necromancers, we wouldn't have this kind of injustice. Woah... That necromancer is probably screwing over your friend. If he was 'kind' enough to summon him back to life from his bones, he is now property of the necromancer (until he relinquishes control). Any gold you find on dead adventurers this guy is now getting a cut. Not to mention he probably isn't chipping in for repair and maintenance of any acid traps, cleaning of the hall with the spikes ceilings or anything like that. Before long your friend will start talking about how great he is and that you should come over and meet him more often. Then maybe one day you are a little upset that your bones aren't as strong as they used to be due to not being able to absorb calcium as effectively. He is going to make you this great offer, but don't take it. I have seen so many dungeon boss' become slaves to greater evils. Absorbed by them, then tossed out once he has what he wants from you (he probably wants to store some ancient demonic relic there or something). I know what you are thinking "Pfft, what does a Wizard know about this kind of stuff!? He is my enemy!" but I minored in Dungeon Design and Ruling in Wizard college so I know a thing or two about the industry.
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 07:38
|
|
|
Commoners posted:As a monk, I want to apologize to the wizard community for always beating you guys up in your towers. It's just that as the most mobile person in my adventuring party, I always get tasked with doing the dirty work (Not to mention that I am resistant to most forms of magic.) Almost every wizard I've met that went to the mixed public schools badmouths us because of the stunning fists that they'd get hit with during gym class.
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 07:47
|
|
|
Doctor Schnabel posted:you people wow, just wow
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 07:50
|
|
|
i try to keep pure but theres so many martial artists around that my grandkids wont even know what magic is...unless we all wake up and act NOW
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 07:52
|
|
|
Doctor Schnabel posted:i try to keep pure but theres so many martial artists around that my grandkids wont even know what magic is...unless we all wake up and act NOW I like to keep it pure too. That's why I don't talk to anyone that does Mixed Martial Arts.
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 07:53
|
|
|
im a class realist
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 07:55
|
|
|
I didn't see it asked here, sorry if I missed it, but what is the deal with Rangers? I mean they use bows and arrows, I get that, but???
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 08:29
|
|
|
Twenty Four posted:I didn't see it asked here, sorry if I missed it, but what is the deal with Rangers? I mean they use bows and arrows, I get that, but??? They are basically just fighters who use bows instead of swords and poo poo. They think they are so far above everyone else because they can befriend an animal (presumably because the animal can't understand how insufferable they can be).
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 09:02
|
|
|
Bah, nowadays wizzards is all just fancy lights and stuff. Pull a rabbit out of a hat, now THATS some real magix!
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 09:56
|
|
|
We've got a half-orc president, it's time to end the racism.
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 12:52
|
|
|
Guys I have a serious problem. Whay class should I go with? I like hitting things with swords but I also like to set things on fire and throw lightening around but I dont wanna be some loser paladin.
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 13:06
|
|
|
Blizzy_Cow posted:Guys I have a serious problem. Whay class should I go with? I like hitting things with swords but I also like to set things on fire and throw lightening around but I dont wanna be some loser paladin. Ahem! Paladin is not a "loser" class. We are strong and confident. We wield magic and blade for the sake of good and the protection of the innocent. There can be no higher calling.
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 13:22
|
|
|
Blizzy_Cow posted:Guys I have a serious problem. Whay class should I go with? I like hitting things with swords but I also like to set things on fire and throw lightening around but I dont wanna be some loser paladin. Stop fiddling in magic it ends in sickness and damnation. I can recommend some recovery camps where they chant the mage away.
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 13:30
|
|
|
No offense man but my pocket being swole with gold is a pretty high calling. And I'd rather not have to call and leave a message to some higher power to know what to do. E: is it possible to light someones farts on fire while its still inside them?
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 13:33
|
|
|
Blizzy_Cow posted:E: is it possible to light someones farts on fire while its still inside them? This is why you should probably become a wizard. Try to find an internship at your local wizard's tower.
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 13:39
|
|
|
Best. Party. Trick. Ever. Whats tuition like at these schools? And are there any good ones in America.
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 13:49
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 16, 2024 07:56 |
|
|
So just because I use my magic to conjour shadows and stab people in the back I'm lumped in with fighters? Wow, you'd think the wizard community would be a little bit more tolerant of fellow magic users, I expect to catch the ire of fighters but we have all gone through the same struggle of coming out! Just this week I've saved a thurmatage, an enchantress, and a red wizard from brigands in the alley behind the tavern and you would say I am not worthy of the term wizard?!
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2015 13:49
|
|
