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Groovelord Neato posted:i'll never understand the "not here for hookups" on an app where ur solely judged on your appearance. You're assuming that what people put on their profile has anything to do with what they're actually looking for. Rookie mistake. If you're looking for a one-night stand, but with classy girls, you wouldn't check one night stands because the type of girl you're looking for won't respond to men who are so vulgar as to say they want one night stands. That's how you get one night stands. They won't have one night stands checked on their profile either, that's how they let you know they're a classy girl who is totally into that. I don't think I'm even kidding anymore. Business Gorillas posted:i dont understand people who put the "DONT loving BOTHER ME WITH SMALLTALK" on their stuff. Similar thing. I know lots of people who say that they will not reply to someone at a bar/datingsite/etc unless they say, "hello" first. I know plenty of other people that will throw a drink in that person's face and call them a creep. TLDR people don't know what the gently caress they want with dating. Online is no exception. YeahTubaMike posted:getting messages that just say "Hey" or "How r u" is really annoying and bothersome, like, at least put in a minimal amount of effort to ask me about something on my profile or tell me a little bit about yourself It didn't used to be this way. Back in my day (shakes fist) you generally opened up with small talk even if you were just going to cyberfuck and jerk off. The problem seems to be that now, especially with online dating, you're competing with Reddit for the person's time. To be fair yes there's a lot of lovely people who play the numbers game and mass spam everyone with one word. Or, the much-sought-after guy who messages you and says only the sentence, "I have never been with a man before." I'll take "hello" any day. It's just that when people open with "hi", if you message them and say "hi" back, they will probably follow up with "hello". And it doesn't ever really take off from there.
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Oct 6, 2015 00:54
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ME
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Small talk: - your job - your hobbies - your name - favorite things Greetings: - hi - hey - *pic of dilz* Hth
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Oct 6, 2015 01:40
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Groovelord Neato posted:you can extend one for a day though. that usually gets the cold feet ones to message. Another thing Bumble does right is letting me report profiles before matching, though I haven't had to. Tinder has so many obvious bots it was frankly embarrassing. Shumagorath fucked around with this message at 04:19 on Oct 6, 2015 |
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Oct 6, 2015 04:11
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Business Gorillas posted:STD-ridden dildo salesman and mother of two at 27 with muscular dystrophy
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Oct 6, 2015 04:17
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I signed up for Bumble and I swear a solid half of these are blonde white girls.
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Oct 6, 2015 04:30
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YeahTubaMike posted:getting messages that just say "Hey" or "How r u" is really annoying and bothersome, like, at least put in a minimal amount of effort to ask me about something on my profile or tell me a little bit about yourself Serious question: Why? Why should I put in even a modicum of effort in the message given that you're going to see I sent you a message, are going to check out my profile pic and decide from that whether you want a conversation or not? If you like what you see, you'll just reply 'hey' back, and from that point game's on. But until you've shown interest, crafting a message taylored to your particulars is for uggos that can't cruise on their looks alone. 
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Oct 6, 2015 07:56
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Shumagorath posted:mods? Oh shush, he wasn't doxxing you, he was talking about the profile.
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Oct 6, 2015 08:01
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YeahTubaMike posted:getting messages that just say "Hey" or "How r u" is really annoying and bothersome, like, at least put in a minimal amount of effort to ask me about something on my profile or tell me a little bit about yourself I find commenting on anything in their pictures to be exactly the same as saying "Hey". revdrkevind posted:You're assuming that what people put on their profile has anything to do with what they're actually looking for. Rookie mistake. This is what I call the "I'm not THAT kind of girl" mentality. Wicker Man fucked around with this message at 09:48 on Oct 6, 2015 |
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Oct 6, 2015 09:39
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HerStuddMuffin posted:Serious question: Why?
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Oct 6, 2015 14:18
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Plus just saying "hey" because people only look at pictures is entirely self-defeating because by only saying "hey" you are only -providing- a picture. At least with a "oh I like BLANK too" comment you start a conversation and provide a little insight rather than making the person read through your profile that is probably identical to six million other people. I got my OKC QT by poking fun at her favorite book, it doesn't take much
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Oct 6, 2015 14:26
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DreamShipWrecked posted:Plus just saying "hey" because people only look at pictures is entirely self-defeating because by only saying "hey" you are only -providing- a picture. Which is literally the most important thing. Afaik OKCupid even had a blog post about that.
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Oct 6, 2015 14:32
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HerStuddMuffin posted:Serious question: Why? Lol that "I like thing" is apparently too much of a mental strain for you
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Oct 6, 2015 14:35
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Also any moderately attractive person (especially girls) probably get dozens of "heys" a day. You might as well better your chances by taking 30 seconds to write another couple words
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Oct 6, 2015 14:40
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The Real Foogla posted:Which is literally the most important thing. Afaik OKCupid even had a blog post about that. Well yeah, obviously profile pictures are super massively important, but you aren't exactly helping yourself by being a wet blanket. Especially if you are just average, like most of the population
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Oct 6, 2015 16:51
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HerStuddMuffin posted:Serious question: Why? Women don't like being put on the spot like that. Because, see, it requires them to not only read your profile beyond your pictures like you would have done for them (if she didn't simply reject or ignore you out of hand), it also asks them to start a conversation where they don't have an immediate advantage. That is unacceptable, so it's important to put a stop to it.
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Oct 6, 2015 19:25
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On a similar note, please resurrect the AngryTurtle thread.
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Oct 6, 2015 19:26
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HerStuddMuffin posted:Serious question: Why? 1. Culturally, men are expected to be the initiator. I mean you could sort of argue that saying hey is making the first move because it basically translates to "hey i liked your profile, wanna start chatting", but it's kind of an inconsiderate first move because you don't really give them anything to go of or reply to. It puts the onus on them to actually start a conversation about something. Not the end of the world but you've added an unnecessary barrier to talking with you. 2. Assuming you're part of the 20s crowd like most goons girls get way more messages than dudes so you sorta have to stand out. I can tell you as a bi dude on okc i got a lot of messages from dudes and basically the only ones I responded to opened with complete sentences because you can afford to filter stuff like that. If you're gonna send the first message send the first message, sending a hey doesn't really add much more to the situation than showing up on their list of people who recently visited their profile.
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Oct 6, 2015 19:39
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Yawgmoth posted:Because (for me at least) I don't want to interact with someone who obviously doesn't give a poo poo. If you can't be buggered to at least open with "I like [thing in profile] too, what do you think about [something that relates to that]?" then you're probably dumb and/or boring. You don't have to expertly craft a piece of literature, you just need to demonstrate a basic level of literacy and intellect. this also, if i'm so loving interesting, could you please at least be bothered to take the time out of your busy day to spell out three-letter words in their entirety? i mean geez louise the last first message i sent was about oatmeal cookies (he said he was good at making them) and reykjavik (he said he had visited there recently). it took me about two minutes to write.
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Oct 6, 2015 20:20
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Please stop serious posting in this, the gbs online-dating mock thread, and post more screenshots of ugly and terrible people's dating profiles.
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Oct 6, 2015 22:02
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Business Gorillas posted:Also any moderately attractive person (especially girls) probably get dozens of "heys" a day. You might as well better your chances by taking 30 seconds to write another couple words Hey girl want a piece of this dick?
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Oct 6, 2015 22:36
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facebook jihad posted:Hey girl want a piece of this dick? Don't forget to attach a file when you reference on in the body of the text. Outlook catches me making that mistake all the time.
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Oct 6, 2015 22:50
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paco650 posted:On a similar note, please resurrect the AngryTurtle thread. 125 pages and loving finally we get a good idea
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Oct 6, 2015 22:55
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computer parts posted:I signed up for Bumble and I swear a solid half of these are blonde white girls. well yeah it's mostly college/grad chicks
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Oct 6, 2015 23:34
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HerStuddMuffin posted:Serious question: Why? you are a male in their early 20s who got lucky once or twice on an online dating site with some kind of moronic caveman strategy. wow sign me up for your newsletter  but on the whole "uhhhh sup" messaging thing, seriously how do some of you not understand that there are legions of creepy fuckers out there whose sole strategy on dating sites is to message as many people as possible to get responses? its mostly dudes who do this, although i've personally run into a couple of the rare women who fit the category, and their whole thing is like to a) get their exhibitionism jollies off, b) express their sexism in a safe and anonymous way, and/or c) troll for idiots to date/bone. on a site like okc where there is only the one way to "really" interact with someone (messaging) a contextless "hey" is most often a dipshit in ye old days of okc a "hi" greeting might have been fine, but this is because there used to be two different systems. one was the messaging system like exists now (except messages had subject lines and you could have more than one conversation with another person). the other was a chat/IM style system, and this is where "oh i see this person is also online and checking me out, gonna say 'hi'" would be totally fine. imo the collapsing of all communication between two entities into a single one-dimensional timeline is not the most useful way to structure communication (oh hey there mr zuckerberg), but it's what we're stuck with and thus opening with "hurr derp i have nothing to say" is going to not elevate you above the creepers Lutha Mahtin fucked around with this message at 01:55 on Oct 7, 2015 |
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Oct 7, 2015 01:38
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Lutha Mahtin posted:you are a male in their early 20s who got lucky once or twice on an online dating site with some kind of moronic caveman strategy. wow sign me up for your newsletter The strategy was "be attractive"
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Oct 7, 2015 04:22
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I always thought the im chat was detrimental. If you could get someone to talk to you through it (which was rare), you pretty much had to get the number or that was it. Kind of hard to have go back to normal message after an im style conversation. Maybe that was the point
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Oct 7, 2015 04:48
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Lutha Mahtin posted:you are a male in their early 20s who got lucky once or twice on an online dating site with some kind of moronic caveman strategy. wow sign me up for your newsletter No, the data clearly rejects this. If you're attractive your message doesn't matter, which means lots of dudes just do whatever. Calling them creepy and sexist is literally insane.
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Oct 7, 2015 08:36
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The Real Foogla posted:No, the data clearly rejects this. If you're attractive your message doesn't matter, which means lots of dudes just do whatever. Calling them creepy and sexist is literally insane. how do venn diagrams work precious
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Oct 7, 2015 09:07
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Like this.
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Oct 7, 2015 09:32
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YeahTubaMike posted:getting messages that just say "Hey" or "How r u" is really annoying and bothersome, like, at least put in a minimal amount of effort to ask me about something on my profile or tell me a little bit about yourself If you're a guy and not sifting through hundreds of messages a day then you look fondly upon the occasional "Hey"
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Oct 7, 2015 09:42
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My self-summary If you do not feel that doing charity work and helping others on a regular basis is important, then we will not get along. READ MY PROFILE.  This profile is a filter for lazies, control freaks, and the selfish. I have keywords to make sure you read my profile. Here are a few things about me to save everyone time. If I look at you and I do not message you, it means nothing. Go ahead and message me. I chat with almost anyone, I am looking for friends. Not looking to get married, not looking for monogamy, but I am looking for long term reliable relationships. I have a dominant personality. Like, well you know. I'm like a badass honey badger  When you talk to me, talk to me like you have known me your whole life. I hate wasting time with the initial BS. Just get right to who you are, what you want, the bottom line. Life is too short to beat around the bush. Jump in. I like business and have many different companies, involving ownership and investment in real estate, internet, and entertainment ventures My law firm only does pro bono work. My not for loss charity provides free housing for homeless women and families with children, as well as war veterans. If you do not feel that helping others is important or you are selfish or self focused don't waste your time messaging me. CHARITY WORK IS A MUST! To meet in real life: 1. I must see you on webcam using a chat medium, talk on the phone and then meet. I use cam to make sure you are the person in your profile picture.If you have no pic then pass. Plain and simple. If we don't get along via chat and phone, no need to meet. I have had many many men use fake pics, pics showing them before they decided to eat like a sumo wrestler, pics when they had hair, and pics from 20 years ago. I have met many control freaks and people with mental issues on the net. I don't care what someone looks like as long as they do the right thing and take care of themselves. My requirements save everyone time. it's 2015 after all. 2. If you are too lazy to download a chat program, get on cam and communicate to make sure we get along and not waste time, you are too lazy to live. 3. If you have an urge to tell me you can't get to know someone by talking on the phone and camming and you need to meet for coffee then you need to rethink your grasp on reality and time efficiency. Webcam and chat takes 5 minutes. Coffee and crowded places take hours. You cannot have a good private in depth conversation in a public place. 4. If you are not a talker, cannot keep a conversation going, moving and flowing PASS. Communication and the ability to speak and relay information is very important. Unless you are handicapped and cannot speak I have no interest in the silence game. Spending hours trying to pry things out of someone like they are a 5 year old sucks. Besides talking to a wall is no fun. No duct tape, shovels or plastic sheeting on first meeting If you've read this far, write "hawking radiation" in your message to me. *** WARNING NOTICE : YOU ARE HEREBY NOTIFIED THAT UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES IS THE INFORMATION OR PHOTOS CONTAINED IN THIS PROFILE TO BE USED IN ADVERTISING. IN ADDITION, OTHER THAN FOR THE GENERAL PURPOSE OF THE PROFILE ON THIS SITE, ANY DUPLICATE, DISSEMINATION, DISTRIBUTION, OR COPYING OF SAID INFORMATION AND PHOTO IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED. *** What I’m doing with my life existing I’m really good at breathing The first things people usually notice about me I am invisible Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food everything The six things I could never do without oxygen water amino acids minerals vitamins food I spend a lot of time thinking about thought On a typical Friday night I am there .... Or trying to figure out how to best configure database mirroring in a clustered environment The most private thing I’m willing to admit I am here You should message me if You are here or there
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Oct 7, 2015 09:54
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My self-summary: Oh Okcupid, it’s been an interesting journey. My original plan was to disable this, but I've learned a few things. I thought maybe …maybe, if I share them, you’ll see what it’s like on the other side of the screen, bar, and bed. A few messages I received were amazing, and a handful were amazingly bad. You can see some of the worst as screen caps in the album "OkCupid's Greatest Hits" or at <webpage here> (There is an assumption here that the intent of most of these messages was to actually talk to me. Sometimes it’s hard to tell the trolls from the genuinely ridiculous.) But maybe you said something lovely. We've messaged back and forth, and so far we find each other wonderful. We have a time and place set to meet. It’s at a well trafficked spot in a neighborhood I know and feel safe in. Then, last minute, you ask if I want to change it up and meet you for a drink at your place. See, now you've introduced doubt. Now I’m going to consider calling the whole thing off. Messaging on a dating website doesn't count for much kid - I have no way of knowing you're who you say you are. I know you don't either, but women rape/murdering men they went out with doesn't happen nearly as often. (Yes, it does happen, and it's just as lovely.) FTR I kept this date, and I’m glad I did. He was a blast. Bottom line though? Keep it public. I don’t know you, and now you start the date with ground to make up. OK, we've made it to the pub, café, park, whatever. You haven't set off my creepy-guy-ometer, and we’ve got a good conversation going. Then you try to make a rape joke. Bro. No. Don’t go for a rape joke on the first date. Just don’t. Having a compatible sense of humor is important. You want your partner to laugh along with you at one of the worst things a human can do to another? Look, I get it. Kind of. Here’s the thing, you have no idea if your date, or someone your date cares about, has ever been assaulted. Do you want to be the guy that brings that up? Didn’t think so. Want to see if your date appreciates controversial humor? Pick another controversial joke genre. Or wait until date 2. Or if you’re out with me, never is probably a better time. Alright, first date went great! You didn't drop any awful jokes and I managed to not say or do anything irredeemably awkward. Game for date 2? You should refrain then from following-up the morning after with a multi-paragraph request to analyze date 1. I was up for date 2. Now I think you’re Needy. Clingy. One Strange Cookie. Next. Huzzah! We've made it through several dates! I think you’re a lot of fun. You seem to be thinking the same thing. Sparks are flying, and we find ourselves quickly ditching items of clothing. But first, we interrupt the impending naked for a grownup timeout. I tell you no condom, no sex. You say that sex is better without one. I agree. Regardless. No condom, no sex. You say ok. Then you try to steal home without one. Because there seems to be a need, I'll spell this out for you. This is NEVER acceptable. Do not, under any circumstance, ignore a boundary like that. Don’t ignore a boundary of any kind for that matter. You don't agree with said boundary/think it's ridiculous/enter other excuses here? Doesn't matter. It's not your call. If a boundary your date has set bothers you it means you aren't a good match. You don’t get a pass to ignore it. Let's workshop this. What could you do instead? How about saying something like "Hey, I like you, but we seem to be on opposite sides of this thing we both have strong opinions on." I might be a little bummed, but at least I still respect you. I'm also much less tempted to shove my knee somewhere unfortunate. On the same page now? Fantastic! Phew, glad we got that out of the way. I hope you've enjoyed learning all about the other side. May you remember it when you're on your next date. Oh, and don't forget to be awesome too.  You should message me if: Full disclosure: I'm not dating or looking for casual sex. Feeling bamboozled? Sorry doll, there's this little thing called search optimization. However, I am always down for making new friends.
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Oct 7, 2015 09:56
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Jubs posted:*** WARNING NOTICE : YOU ARE HEREBY NOTIFIED THAT UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES IS THE INFORMATION OR PHOTOS CONTAINED IN THIS PROFILE TO BE USED IN ADVERTISING. IN ADDITION, OTHER THAN FOR THE GENERAL PURPOSE OF THE PROFILE ON THIS SITE, ANY DUPLICATE, DISSEMINATION, DISTRIBUTION, OR COPYING OF SAID INFORMATION AND PHOTO IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED. *** Jubs take down the post. This is a lawyer who is afraid to go out for coffee or drinks w/o extensive camdates first.
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Oct 7, 2015 10:00
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HerStuddMuffin posted:Oh shush, he wasn't doxxing you, he was talking about the profile. no i want that to be the thread title idiot
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Oct 7, 2015 12:12
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The Real Foogla posted:No, the data clearly rejects this. If you're attractive your message doesn't matter, which means lots of dudes just do whatever. Calling them creepy and sexist is literally insane. Aside from that, these dudes have worked out that all they have to do is say hey and they'll get boned eventually. Good on them, sending "hey" isn't hurting anyone. Anybody who thinks otherwise needs to go get their head checked.
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Oct 7, 2015 12:44
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"I am only looking for friends so let me seed the pot by talking constantly about my sex life" Also you know drat well that if someone showed up that was more giving and charitable than that lawyer chick then she would drop him like a hot coal because it would spoil her goody lovey princess position
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Oct 7, 2015 13:35
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The Real Foogla posted:No, the data clearly rejects this. If you're attractive your message doesn't matter, which means lots of dudes just do whatever. Calling them creepy and sexist is literally insane. doesn't this also mean that when an attractive man and an unattractive man both send a message with something from the woman's profile, only the attractive man will get a response.
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Oct 7, 2015 13:49
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Groovelord Neato posted:doesn't this also mean that when an attractive man and an unattractive man both send a message with something from the woman's profile, only the attractive man will get a response. Corolary: When both an attractive man and an uggo send "hey" to a woman, only the uggo gets labeled a creep.
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Oct 7, 2015 13:55
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HerStuddMuffin posted:Corolary: When both an attractive man and an uggo send "hey" to a woman, only the uggo gets labeled a creep. In the same way that rich people are eccentric but poor people are insane. Or how the dude from 50 Shades is confident and charming rather than abusive and creepy
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Oct 7, 2015 14:15
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HerStuddMuffin posted:Corolary: When both an attractive man and an uggo send "hey" to a woman, only the uggo gets labeled a creep. Well yeah, that's literally the definition of a creep. Somebody who you perceive as unattractive making a sexual advance at you.
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Oct 7, 2015 14:22
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