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Crashbee
May 15, 2007

Stupid people are great at winning arguments, because they're too stupid to realize they've lost.

notZaar posted:

Well yeah, that's literally the definition of a creep. Somebody who you perceive as unattractive making a sexual advance at you.

No it isn't, you can be both physically attractive and act like a creep.

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FedEx Mercury
Jan 7, 2004

Me bad posting? That's unpossible!
Lipstick Apathy
No, being a "creep" is completely subjective to the emotional response of the recipient. You can't choose whether or not you're creepy any more than you can choose whether or not you're funny.

CuddleCryptid
Jan 11, 2013

Things could be going better

notZaar posted:

No, being a "creep" is completely subjective to the emotional response of the recipient. You can't choose whether or not you're creepy any more than you can choose whether or not you're funny.

And yet if you are a abhorrent human being and ugly as sin to boot then creeping on ladies is going to be your only real interaction with them

And there are innately creepy things. Like the fifty year Olds that message 21 year Olds.

Lutha Mahtin
Oct 10, 2010

Your brokebrain sin is absolved...go and shitpost no more!

Jubs posted:

I have met many control freaks and people with mental issues on the net.

hmm fair point *signs up for her 27-point vetting gauntlet*

Bhodi
Dec 9, 2007

Oh, it's just a cat.
Pillbug
Step 1: Be attractive

Step 2: Don't be unattractive

old fat bird
Oct 27, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

YeahTubaMike posted:

i was going to say "some of us are windows phone users" but it turns out there's a windows phone tinder app. hmmmmm...

having a windows phone is a bigger problem than being an undateable goon so obviously you've got some things to sort out before you get back on that horse anyway

YeahTubaMike
Mar 24, 2005

*hic* Gotta finish thish . . .
Doctor Rope
lol you might be right

also i would really love it if dudes with kids stopped messaging me

FedEx Mercury
Jan 7, 2004

Me bad posting? That's unpossible!
Lipstick Apathy

YeahTubaMike posted:

lol you might be right

also i would really love it if dudes with kids stopped messaging me

Have you tried switching to heterosexuality??

Business Gorillas
Mar 11, 2009

:harambe:



Jubs posted:

My self-summary
If you do not feel that doing charity work and helping others on a regular basis is important, then we will not get along.
READ MY PROFILE. :) This profile is a filter for lazies, control freaks, and the selfish. I have keywords to make sure you read my profile.

Here are a few things about me to save everyone time.

If I look at you and I do not message you, it means nothing. Go ahead and message me. I chat with almost anyone, I am looking for friends. Not looking to get married, not looking for monogamy, but I am looking for long term reliable relationships.

I have a dominant personality. Like, well you know. :)

I'm like a badass honey badger :D

When you talk to me, talk to me like you have known me your whole life. I hate wasting time with the initial BS. Just get right to who you are, what you want, the bottom line. Life is too short to beat around the bush. Jump in.

I like business and have many different companies, involving ownership and investment in real estate, internet, and entertainment ventures

My law firm only does pro bono work.

My not for loss charity provides free housing for homeless women and families with children, as well as war veterans.

If you do not feel that helping others is important or you are selfish or self focused don't waste your time messaging me. CHARITY WORK IS A MUST!

To meet in real life:

1. I must see you on webcam using a chat medium, talk on the phone and then meet. I use cam to make sure you are the person in your profile picture.If you have no pic then pass. Plain and simple. If we don't get along via chat and phone, no need to meet. I have had many many men use fake pics, pics showing them before they decided to eat like a sumo wrestler, pics when they had hair, and pics from 20 years ago. I have met many control freaks and people with mental issues on the net. I don't care what someone looks like as long as they do the right thing and take care of themselves. My requirements save everyone time. it's 2015 after all.

2. If you are too lazy to download a chat program, get on cam and communicate to make sure we get along and not waste time, you are too lazy to live.

3. If you have an urge to tell me you can't get to know someone by talking on the phone and camming and you need to meet for coffee then you need to rethink your grasp on reality and time efficiency. Webcam and chat takes 5 minutes. Coffee and crowded places take hours. You cannot have a good private in depth conversation in a public place.

4. If you are not a talker, cannot keep a conversation going, moving and flowing PASS. Communication and the ability to speak and relay information is very important. Unless you are handicapped and cannot speak I have no interest in the silence game. Spending hours trying to pry things out of someone like they are a 5 year old sucks. Besides talking to a wall is no fun.

No duct tape, shovels or plastic sheeting on first meeting :)

If you've read this far, write "hawking radiation" in your message to me.

*** WARNING NOTICE : YOU ARE HEREBY NOTIFIED THAT UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES IS THE INFORMATION OR PHOTOS CONTAINED IN THIS PROFILE TO BE USED IN ADVERTISING. IN ADDITION, OTHER THAN FOR THE GENERAL PURPOSE OF THE PROFILE ON THIS SITE, ANY DUPLICATE, DISSEMINATION, DISTRIBUTION, OR COPYING OF SAID INFORMATION AND PHOTO IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED. ***

What I’m doing with my life
existing

I’m really good at
breathing

The first things people usually notice about me
I am invisible

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
everything

The six things I could never do without
oxygen water amino acids minerals vitamins food

I spend a lot of time thinking about
thought

On a typical Friday night I am
there .... Or trying to figure out how to best configure database mirroring in a clustered environment :D

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I am here

You should message me if
You are here or there

I don't understand people like this because anyone that meets her standards isn't going to put up with any of this poo poo unless she's literally Rhianna or something

CuddleCryptid
Jan 11, 2013

Things could be going better

Business Gorillas posted:

I don't understand people like this because anyone that meets her standards isn't going to put up with any of this poo poo unless she's literally Rhianna or something

She isn't alone because she is an egomaniac, it's that no men meet her basic standards duh

WIFEY WATCHDOG
Jun 25, 2012

Yeah, well I don't trust this guy. I think he regifted, he degifted, and now he's using an upstairs invite as a springboard to a Super Bowl sex romp.
Gaseous loving dog poo poo and dad hey

Captain Yossarian
Feb 24, 2011

All new" Rings of Fire"

Dr. Tim Whatley posted:

Gaseous loving dog poo poo and dad hey

?

Business Gorillas
Mar 11, 2009

:harambe:



DreamShipWrecked posted:

She isn't alone because she is an egomaniac, it's that no men meet her basic standards duh

i'm pretty sure that buying a decent cam for the vetting process would cost more than most first dates, even though the first date serves the exact same purpose of talking to someone casually and figuring out if you want to do sex to them

Owlbear Camus
Jan 3, 2013

Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?



Business Gorillas posted:

i'm pretty sure that buying a decent cam for the vetting process would cost more than most first dates, even though the first date serves the exact same purpose of talking to someone casually and figuring out if you want to do sex to them

Well assuming most people have a cam on a phone or tablet if she's using an app that you can get on that device it's a low technical hurdle, but you couldn't be more right about the second part. Good luck finding a successful, handsome philanthropist who wants to jump through the hoops of your quasi-shut-in protocol instead of just moving on to someone who understands how dating works.

YeahTubaMike
Mar 24, 2005

*hic* Gotta finish thish . . .
Doctor Rope

notZaar posted:

Have you tried switching to heterosexuality??

i am already heterosexual :confused:

Lutha Mahtin
Oct 10, 2010

Your brokebrain sin is absolved...go and shitpost no more!

Otisburg posted:

Well assuming most people have a cam on a phone or tablet if she's using an app that you can get on that device it's a low technical hurdle, but you couldn't be more right about the second part. Good luck finding a successful, handsome philanthropist who wants to jump through the hoops of your quasi-shut-in protocol instead of just moving on to someone who understands how dating works.

she requires to "meet" you first when she's in the security of her own home, and going out is bad because they are "crowded" and "You cannot have a good private in depth conversation in a public place". yeah, no possibility of anxiety issues here

e:

either that or her pre-date interrogation is a barrage of really intrusive and weird questions. like if 95% of dudes bail on her in the initial screen conversation then duh of course she wouldn't want to waste time going out somewhere lol

Lutha Mahtin fucked around with this message at 19:35 on Oct 7, 2015

WIFEY WATCHDOG
Jun 25, 2012

Yeah, well I don't trust this guy. I think he regifted, he degifted, and now he's using an upstairs invite as a springboard to a Super Bowl sex romp.
My favorite OkCupid date was the girl that wanted to make out in her car but would not let me touch her dumb boobs gently caress that girl

Bored
Jul 26, 2007

Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Archimago
Jun 18, 2014

I just want to nom on Merrill

Dr. Tim Whatley posted:

My favorite OkCupid date was the girl that wanted to make out in her car but would not let me touch her dumb boobs gently caress that girl

If it's because she tied you up this could still be hot.

FedEx Mercury
Jan 7, 2004

Me bad posting? That's unpossible!
Lipstick Apathy

YeahTubaMike posted:

i am already heterosexual :confused:

Uh if that was true you'd be getting messages from chicks not dudes you dumb homo.

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth

Dr. Tim Whatley posted:

My favorite OkCupid date was the girl that wanted to make out in her car but would not let me touch her dumb boobs gently caress that girl

Had this once too. Girl was all about making out but the boobs were a no-go.

Don't understand it.

Yawgmoth
Sep 10, 2003

This post is cursed!

Chomp8645 posted:

Had this once too. Girl was all about making out but the boobs were a no-go.

Don't understand it.
She obv wants you to grab a double handful of booty

In other news, had a girl message me "hey" the other day. Looked at her profile, literally every section was something to do with her social anxiety. Thanks no.

Rime
Nov 2, 2011

by Games Forum


Really know the audience you're catering to here, eh PoF? :stare:

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...


Clapping Larry

notZaar posted:

Uh if that was true you'd be getting messages from chicks not dudes you dumb homo.

Mikes a chick, actually.

CuddleCryptid
Jan 11, 2013

Things could be going better

Wicker Man posted:

Mikes a chick, actually.

Hush I want to see how deep he digs

old fat bird
Oct 27, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
Please don't worry about if a goon is a girl in 2015, if you wanna know what her profile looks like pick anyf of the ones posted in the other 125 pages.

toggle
Nov 7, 2005

lower your standards

neonbregna
Aug 20, 2007



Hoping for that super like magic

FedEx Mercury
Jan 7, 2004

Me bad posting? That's unpossible!
Lipstick Apathy

Wicker Man posted:

Mikes a chick, actually.

And I'm a magical loving elf. Get real.

dogstile
May 1, 2012

fucking clocks
how do they work?

neonbregna posted:




Hoping for that super like magic

She looks like she'd be into weird poo poo. Good luck

Archimago
Jun 18, 2014

I just want to nom on Merrill

dogstile posted:

She looks like she'd be into weird poo poo. Good luck

She might actually try to eat your dick off. Be safe.

dogstile
May 1, 2012

fucking clocks
how do they work?

Archimago posted:

She might actually try to eat your dick off. Be safe.

Sounds good to me.

Archimago
Jun 18, 2014

I just want to nom on Merrill

dogstile posted:

Sounds good to me.

As long as she uses a dental dam you should be okay.

vyst
Aug 25, 2009



neonbregna posted:




Hoping for that super like magic

Lol I bet she doesn't even have the knights of the round materia

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...


Clapping Larry
Only two sockets for the materia to be junctioned at :quagmire:

YeahTubaMike
Mar 24, 2005

*hic* Gotta finish thish . . .
Doctor Rope

Monstrous Dooklord posted:

Please don't worry about if a goon is a girl in 2015, if you wanna know what her profile looks like pick anyf of the ones posted in the other 125 pages.

i don't look anything like any of the chicks that have been posted here

FedEx Mercury
Jan 7, 2004

Me bad posting? That's unpossible!
Lipstick Apathy

neonbregna posted:




Hoping for that super like magic

What's that phenomena called where poisonous animals adopt bright and vibrant colors as a warning?

facebook jihad
Dec 18, 2007

by R. Guyovich

neonbregna posted:

Hoping for that super like magic

Think that's the first profile I've seen that screams 'heroin addict'

Shima Honnou
Dec 1, 2010

The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit

College Slice

notZaar posted:

What's that phenomena called where poisonous animals adopt bright and vibrant colors as a warning?

Aposematism.

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MasterControl
Jul 28, 2009

Lipstick Apathy
alright which guy goon is this?

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