The Saddest Rhino posted:

i want to know the thought process leading to building a procedurally generated rape hallway in a videogame

quote:

Yy ñmlmpuugñoyyo9oyoñogooggggggggynooynogggooooooogoop

quote:

edit: i tried to use my phone as a light but i will leave this as a monument to my foolishness

quote:

Yy ñmlmpuugñoyyo9oyoñogooggggggggynooynogggooooooogoop

MariusLecter posted:

Wreck it Ralph was Hitler apologia though.

Wedemeyer posted:

Here's some terrible things we used to do to people.
Suffocation in ash
In ancient Persia, there existed an execution method where a tower/room was filled with ash, into which the condemned person was plunged. Wheels were constantly turned while he was alive, making the ash whirl about, and the person died by gradual suffocation as he inhaled the ash.[1] The description can be found in Valerius Maximus and 2 Maccabees 13:5-8.

Texcoco
Nezahualcoyotl, a 15th-century, pre-Columbian, non-Aztec Acolhuan ruler of Texcoco in modern Mexico, designed a law code that is partially preserved. Those who had engaged in the active role of homosexual anal intercourse were suffocated in a heap of ash. Their passive partners had their intestines pulled out, then their bodies were filled with ash, and finally, were burnt.

Literally Kermit posted:

This is why Ash to mouth is so taboo (that and a translation error)

Zeroisanumber posted:

I got wasted once and passed out while watching some 18-hour long youtube playlist of Smurfs cartoons. I woke up at 6am on the couch with a hangover and Smurfette talking about hairbrushes or whatever and felt deeply ashamed of myself.

The Goatfather posted:

I was drinking with a buddy of mine at this dive bar on the other side of the city in a bad part of town and a couple of the regulars kept talking about the “sex maze” next door. I had never heard of anything like that before- so I asked. Apparently next door was this gay cruising club that took the form of a big maze. Even weirder: The club paid guys to dress up as a “sex minotaurs” and chase dudes around the maze. They kept joking that if you got caught you had to suck the minotaur's dick. When I heard all this my jaw dropped, it was the most insane thing I've ever heard and I am into some weird sex poo poo.

We kept joking about it over the course of the night and the riffing eventually turned into talking about going in there. Once we got sufficiently drunk, it was decided. We went in. The lobby was really nondescript, but had a drab and kind of sinister quality to it. It looked like the waiting room for a doctor's office except there were no magazines and it looked it hadn't been cleaned in ages. There were even dim florescent lights overhead. There was a guy behind bulletproof glass to the side and straight ahead was a normal looking door with an electronic lock that we guessed was the entrance.

We stumbled up to the counter and asked the guy how much to get in. He said because it was our first time it was free, but we had to sign some forms first. We were shocked that it was free, but also kind of happy that we didn't have to pay to get in since we were just doing this for the story. The forms looked like typical “don't sue us” bullshit and we signed pretty quickly. I had no idea what I was getting into when I signed those forms.

The guy wasn't enthused with two giddy drunk straight guys trying to get into his “SECRET GAY MAZE.” He didn't seem annoyed exactly... just vacant. It was weird.

When we finished signing he took the forms, looked them over and hit a button and we heard the door lock unclick. We took his silence as consent to go in.

The first thing we noticed was how dark it was. It wasn't pitch black, but the only lighting was by way of a streak of glow in the dark red smears along the walls of the maze. The second thing we noticed was the screaming. It was loud, terrifying, and it never stopped. We immediately tried to go back but the door was locked. Then we heard the wail of the minotaur. It was a beastly thing. Definitely not something that could be made by a human being. What had previously been a joke was now very real and terrifying. Whatever we were involved with was more hosed up than we had imaged. We decided we needed to find a way out of the maze and fast. Every minute or so we heard the minotaur's cries getting closer. We kept running until we hit a dead end.

We felt the minotaur before we heard him. We saw the dim outline of a huge, muscular naked man with the head of a bull as he approached us. We were scared out of our minds. He got close enough that we felt and heard his heavy animal breathing. We were able to make out that the bull head was just a cartoonish mask, which was even scarier. The only thing he had to do was make a gesture and we knew exactly what he wanted. We were going to have to suck his dick.

And we did. It was terrifying. The screaming never stopped. When we finished he just grunted and walked away. We eventually found our way out of the maze and immediately called the cops. It turned out that the entire experience was planned out from the beginning and we agreed to it when we signed the forms. It's a way for super kinky gay men to pay for some kind of horrific sexual experience. The part where we sucked his dick was actually supposed to be the “climax” of the experience.

It was traumatic for a while but we eventually decided it wasn't as big of a deal as we thought. We were looking for a story after all, it just turned out to be way crazier than we thought.

evobatman posted:

I feel your pain, brother.

Jerry Cotton posted:

evobatman posted:

Bad times computer ahead
Maybe no fast
Maybe no print
Internet will go way but we are two of soul
Please help me

SynthOrange posted:

"Proposal to euthanise koalas with chlamydia divides experts."

Flagrant Abuse posted:

Why would they euthanize them with chlamydia? That seems really inefficient.

Thanatz posted:

After the Emu War debacle, Australia has no desire to use guns to cull a native species.

SmuglyDismissed posted:

Sometimes you just have to use the tools that are available.

Thalantos posted:

see, Australia, this is what happens when you ban guns

Peztopiary posted:

Buttplug trees require grafting. They're a carefully cultivated variety of apple. All those different colors and shapes took generations to breed into the line. The Ur-tree from which both dildos and buttplugs descend has been lost to us, but scholars believe it was somewhere in Mesopotamia.

Wedemeyer posted:

unrelated

theflyingorc posted:

the fun part is that the emu war was a real thing, not just a joke

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emu_War

Say Nothing posted:

Phanatic posted:

I hope some poor school kid isn't under that. Nothing's worse than a flat minor.

Blind Sally posted:

Ha, the losses is p funny:

10 000 rounds of ammo

Dignity

Nintendo Kid posted:

Pokémon is inarguably bigger than the Beatles hth

Stereotype posted:

I always will remember that petty soulless Republicans shamelessly used the death of a guy I likemindely shitposted about politics with on a comedy forum, I'll probably never forgive them or vote for them for that.

Acne Rain posted:

- on an indie horror video game, with a procedurally generated rape hallway

THE DOG HOUSE posted:

lol how short sighted do yo u have to be to try to pull this off

pr0k posted:

About the same amount of shortsighted as you have to be to wind up manager of an Applebees.

NightWig posted:

Got linked these two slimer cosplays.

Boomerjinks posted:

He's an ugly little spug, isn't he?

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

I think he can hear you, Ray.

Sestze posted:

i thought that poo poo was made up.

holy gently caress that's incredible. Someone out there thought of that as a selling point for a video game.

CzarChasm posted:

I seem to recall there was some goon pipe dream thread where one of the selling points was that you could break into a person's home (with the intent to burglarize) but if the homeowner was there you had the option to subdue and rape them.

I think the guy was trying to come up with an idea more crazy than APB/GTA/Postal

Screaming Idiot posted:

Nah, I mean fleshlights and stuff. Yeah, sex toys can spice up a boring sex life in a relationship, but if you're a dude and you own a sex toy, you're kind of sad.

Fashionable Jorts posted:

How else does one get his butt ready for that hot date?

Screaming Idiot posted:

The good lord gave us hands and wedding rings for a reason, old chum.

Sestze posted:

i thought that poo poo was made up.

holy gently caress that's incredible. Someone out there thought of that as a selling point for a video game.

Illegal Username posted:

So procedural rape hallways are bad but rape minotaurs in a gay sex maze is ok?
MISANDRY

Ronwayne posted:

Apparently just wandering around sucking dicks is not just metaphor anymore.

JerryLee posted:

He actually meant anime other than yaoi.

Recoome posted:

what is that?

e: do not google search, thanks alot jerk

Say Nothing posted:

kalstrams posted:

maybe it's there to be used for self-defence

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Golem II posted:

Slugworth posted:

Sperm have a relatively high amount of mitochondria compared to most cells (to power the flagella). If midichlorians are a take on mitochondria, then it stands to reason that Luke's sperm are more force sensitive than he is as a whole. Like, per capita or what not.

The MSJ posted:

Jedi Jizz

ryonguy posted:

So given Star Trek pedos, is all sci-fi just thinly veiled kink fodder?

ryonguy posted:

So given Star Trek pedos, is all sci-fi just thinly veiled kink fodder?

Illegal Username posted:

So procedural rape hallways are bad but rape minotaurs in a gay sex maze is ok?
MISANDRY

The MSJ posted:

BrigadierSensible posted:

Pumpkin boobs aren't getting enough love.

Sage Grimm posted:

Eh, they're low hanging fruit.

Arian_Samurai posted:

Spend thousands of dollars on Star Wars merchandise instead of their soon to be born baby. (They were Jedi)

CzarChasm posted:

I seem to recall there was some goon pipe dream thread where one of the selling points was that you could break into a person's home (with the intent to burglarize) but if the homeowner was there you had the option to subdue and rape them.

I think the guy was trying to come up with an idea more crazy than APB/GTA/Postal

ryonguy posted:

So given Star Trek pedos, is all sci-fi just thinly veiled kink fodder?