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damn horror queefs
Oct 14, 2005

say hello
say hello to the man in the elevator

Otisburg posted:

E:also have a dessa one. no hoverhand. Direct shoulder contact :mrgw:

Niiice.

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Shumagorath
Jun 6, 2001

quote:


My self-summary
Let's see...

ISTJ, Virgo, and I'm on Tumblr, let's get that outta the way.
I'm a feminist, anime trash nerd who likes Pokemon too much, probably. I volunteer too much and don't work enough.

I'm super critical of myself in personality, looks, and achievements. All of which I feel are lacking, let's be real.

I'm super thirsty for a relationship lmfaooo

I'm also suuuuper awkward when I first meet people, so I'm kind of at a stalemate with myself. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

What I’m doing with my life
Technically, I'm considered "a youth" in organizations eyes until my 25th birthday, so there's that...
I'm on the board of directors as a youth rep for a non-profit organization in the downtown **** area. Through that I'm on 2 youth councils--one provincial, and the other national.

I'm not in school, but I'm trying really hard to figure out what I want to do with my life.

I’m really good at
Okay, Imma be serious. I'm pretty good at everything I try--/for a beginner/.

I'm good at cooking (no one is surprised). I'm good at sewing. I rock at art stuff in general, except drawing people...I'm horrible at that. I'm not great with music, either, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I know I couple notes on the guitar lol das it tho

I'm okay at sports. I hate running though bec I'm a fat rear end and I hate jiggles :-///

Umm yeah, I'm pre good at writing when I'm not suffering through writers block lol

The first things people usually notice about me
Usually my weight and height, as I am fat and 6'. If not those then my hair bec it's usually dyed a "weird" colour...
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: HP series, the Uglies series, manga (skip beat, beauty pop, Ranma 1/2, ore monogatari, haikyuu!!, etc )

Movies: HP obvs, the fifth element, avengers, pacific rim, marvel in general, pitch perfect, disney, zoolander, rocky horror, the scary movie series, paranormal activity, and anything with Jackie Chan.
My favourite genre is horror, second is comedy (but I'm very selective about comedy), and a good action movie with plot is nice.

Anime: Cardcaptor Sakura, naruto, yugioh Gx, ​ranma 1/2, skip beat, kuragehime, katekyo hitman reborn, haikyuu!!, gintama--the list is growing and I'm watching dubbed Pokemon
_( : 3 」∠ )_

Music: I love a lot of different genres. I'm not a huge fan of rap/hip hop and metal tho I do occasionally listen to them? I've got a bunch of diff types on my phone, so there's that? Like...pop, rock, boy bands, alt, punk, French, r&b...

Food: I'll try almost anything once tbh but lbr I love (most) Japanese foods, my own cooking, pasta/Italian, annnnd bubble tea

My games list is pre limited
-yugioh gameboy games (GX, original, that kinda thing)
-Pokemon as always
-da:I

The six things I could never do without
Oh gosh

Family and money goes without saying right?

Other than that, I have no idea?

Tablet maybe...3ds maybe...phone probs???

Umm yeah

I spend a lot of time thinking about
I have been mentally screaming since 4th grade

On a typical Friday night I am
Depends on the month/season. Like October is busy so I'm traveling a lot. Summer months aren't really busy so I'm home a lot. Spring is kind of busy, once again depending on the month. And fall is suuuuper busy... I travel, I guess, for those volunteer based youth councils ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Lmfao I'm super virginal and that's because I feel I'm too gross looking to have sex. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm also broke. Allllll the time.

You should message me if
You should message me if you're in my age range, like any of the things I like (and you're not weird about those things), and/or you like water. I love the water.


















_____________________________________fuck it_____________________________________

Lutha Mahtin
Oct 10, 2010

Your brokebrain sin is absolved...go and shitpost no more!

Otisburg posted:

Send em my way

I am a guy with one on my tinder

No hoverhand but he's makin' a weird face.

E:also have a dessa one. no hoverhand. Direct shoulder contact :mrgw:

in my experience they are skittish dipshits who are looking for anonymous internet attention. but this may be an effect of small sample size

i know various local hip hop people as well, wanna fight? haha

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth


:eyepop:

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

Poly people weird me the gently caress out most the time.

And i'm not mono to begin with I can only imagine how the rest of you feel.

old fat bird
Oct 27, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

LethalGeek posted:

Poly people weird me the gently caress out most the time.

And i'm not mono to begin with I can only imagine how the rest of you feel.

people tend to get up in arms about stereotypes but that doesn't make them any less true, they're all fat miserable depressed people who don't love themselves but don't even realize it so they live a life propping up their own fat and fabulous personality while having sex with literally any person that will have them before retreating to Facebook the next day to cry about how empty their lives feel or how stupid monogamous people with kids are

cmndstab
May 20, 2006

Huge Internet Celebrity!

Shumagorath posted:

_____________________________________fuck it_____________________________________

You tease.

Groovelord Neato
Dec 6, 2014


nerd death screech posted:

I have found that there are an inordinate amount of retarded women out there that love American flag clothes. They really love it if you're not American and you wear them

by loving american flag clothes wouldn't that make them highly intelligent, the opposite of retarded?

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

Monstrous Dooklord posted:

people tend to get up in arms about stereotypes but that doesn't make them any less true, they're all fat miserable depressed people who don't love themselves but don't even realize it so they live a life propping up their own fat and fabulous personality while having sex with literally any person that will have them before retreating to Facebook the next day to cry about how empty their lives feel or how stupid monogamous people with kids are
:jerkbag:

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

LethalGeek posted:

Poly people weird me the gently caress out most the time.

And i'm not mono to begin with I can only imagine how the rest of you feel.

Oh look. A poly person whose reaction to a discussion about what a trainwreck polyamoury is was announcing unasked the fact that they are poly, along with an implication that they are "one of the good ones".

Benito loving Mussolini couldn't compare to how regularly that train arrives on time.

The Anime Liker
Aug 8, 2009

by VideoGames

LethalGeek posted:

Poly people weird me the gently caress out most the time.

Well, yeah but

LethalGeek posted:

And i'm not mono to begin with I can only imagine how the rest of you feel.

lol

Business Gorillas
Mar 11, 2009

:harambe:



On a scale to rowboat to cruise liner how fat are you

vyst
Aug 25, 2009



Poly people are all hosed up sadbrained weirdos.

Groovelord Neato
Dec 6, 2014


vyst posted:

Poly people are all hosed up sadbrained weirdos.

yup.

The Anime Liker
Aug 8, 2009

by VideoGames

Business Gorillas posted:

On a scale to rowboat to cruise liner how fat are you

i am a garbage barge

Coolie Ghost
Jan 16, 2013

sensible dissent dispenser

Business Gorillas posted:

On a scale to rowboat to cruise liner how fat are you

fattleship

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

I just like to gently caress a lot, I don't get into all that omg everyone loves everyone crap.

Also not fat sorry goons

im cute
Sep 21, 2009

LethalGeek posted:

I just like to gently caress a lot, I don't get into all that omg everyone loves everyone crap.

Also not fat sorry goons

I hope I'm not misremembering, but I liked how you defended your degeneracy in the E/N fetlife pedophile thread. I wish I could remember which one it was.

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

paco650 posted:

I hope I'm not misremembering, but I liked how you defended your degeneracy in the E/N fetlife pedophile thread. I wish I could remember which one it was.

You're possibly thinking of thespiritfox who had a mini meltdown in this thread in mid July about how girls who like daddy's cummies are totally not dealing with past trauma and who coincidentally was loving a 15 year old at 20.

Groovelord Neato
Dec 6, 2014


LethalGeek posted:

I just like to gently caress a lot, I don't get into all that omg everyone loves everyone crap.

Also not fat sorry goons

everyone likes to gently caress a lot.

loving a lot of people doesn't make you poly. having a brain issue does.

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

Yeah I would never post an e/n thread because I'm not broken just a goon.

If that's not redundant.

vyst
Aug 25, 2009



Breetai posted:

You're possibly thinking of thespiritfox who had a mini meltdown in this thread in mid July about how girls who like daddy's cummies are totally not dealing with past trauma and who coincidentally was loving a 15 year old at 20.

Feed me cummies in my tummies

im cute
Sep 21, 2009

Breetai posted:

You're possibly thinking of thespiritfox who had a mini meltdown in this thread in mid July about how girls who like daddy's cummies are totally not dealing with past trauma and who coincidentally was loving a 15 year old at 20.

That might be it. There was a different thread with an OP involving catfishing fetlife profiles and trying to confront a 14?-year-old girl at a mall food court and some gross love triangle. It was pretty great.

Stinky_Pete
Aug 16, 2015

Stinkier than your average bear
Lipstick Apathy

Breetai posted:

Oh look. A poly person whose reaction to a discussion about what a trainwreck polyamoury is was announcing unasked the fact that they are poly, along with an implication that they are "one of the good ones".

Benito loving Mussolini couldn't compare to how regularly that train arrives on time.

What kind of amory is it when I love this post

Breetai
Nov 6, 2005

🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

Stinky_Pete posted:

What kind of amory is it when I love this post

Coprophilia.

Maoist Pussy
Feb 12, 2014

by Lowtax
Once again, we see that it is not the policy but the quality of its proponents that matters.

loving lots of people = good

loving lots of fat people and being a giant sperg about it = bad

Business Gorillas
Mar 11, 2009

:harambe:



Re: polyamory

I found out an exs sister is getting married to a guy for the benefits. She's in a poly relationship with the dude she's marrying (who's baby she's also having) and the other guy.

The other guy in the poly relationship is the best man of the whole event. Naturally, this isn't going over too well in the family and apparently not even going well with Jesus since instead of having a normal wedding, this woman's younger sister got ordained online.

Owlbear Camus
Jan 3, 2013

Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?



i officiated the wedding of a poly couple with my laughable ULC minister credentials.

they seemed fine with making it work with each other, but apparently they were closeted to the husband's side of the family and just got outed, and the MIL is super mad that she babysat for their kid while unbeknownst to her wifey went off to meet with her boyfriend. which TBH seems preeetty understandable.

mo' partners mo' problems.

upgunned shitpost
Jan 21, 2015

the 'mother in law' is in the mix too? that's some freaky poo poo

that's horribly awesome, like a gordian knot of 'tang

Owlbear Camus
Jan 3, 2013

Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?



jfood posted:

the 'mother in law' is in the mix too? that's some freaky poo poo

that's horribly awesome, like a gordian knot of 'tang

no, no, MIL isn't like in on the festivities. rather, hubby's side of the family, at least the 'rents, were not in on the unconventional relationship status.

MIL babysat for their kid sometimes, and apparently found out that some of the time it was while she went to visit her BF.

still a real pickle though.

she was asking for advice/support on facepage and every time I tried to think of something useful, I'm like "no i really don't have a frame of reference or useful instructions for this scenario. i can't imagine the explainy words you could speak if i were a vanilla baby boomer who just found out my daughter in law has an open marriage and i was watching her grandkid while she was off getting strange that would make it okay."

Owlbear Camus fucked around with this message at 05:05 on Oct 26, 2015

upgunned shitpost
Jan 21, 2015

sounds like jealousy, someone should gently caress the mother in law too

feel free to pass on my sage wisdom

Owlbear Camus
Jan 3, 2013

Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?



jfood posted:

sounds like jealousy, someone should gently caress the mother in law too

feel free to pass on my sage wisdom

i think i will, once it's blown over enough for her to laugh about.

you're like solomon, cutting up babies in this piece.

caberham
Mar 18, 2009

by Smythe
Grimey Drawer
My self-summary
Like all people, I started out as a baby. At the young age of zero years old, I began putting things in my mouth; sometimes toy cars, mostly food. From there, I just kind of got older as the time passed. The food stuffs made me bigger too and eventually I became full-size. I still put food stuffs in my mouth though.

Ok, here's the deal: I've been told I'm an ambivert. I'm gregarious but I prefer small groups or one-on-one interactions. I'm drawn toward introspective people who question the world around them and who don't seek to control or possess others but simply to experience. I don't believe in binary orientation and I don't buy into our mono-normative culture. I hope that was concise enough.
What I’m doing with my life
• Training (Muay Thai and BJJ)
• Volleyball at mission beach
• Attempting yoga
• Experimental dinner parties
• & a lot more (too much probably but whatever)

I'm a sommelier by trade but I often do other things as well like managing restaurants, working as a sushi chef, working the corner, or working in web development and design. I currently help build or possibly hinder a startup company in the day and work in a restaurant in the evenings to fund my other projects and life.
I’m really good at
• ignoring advice.
• dodging small talk like a ninja.
• not putting people in boxes.
• avoiding bad food.
• tuning out the noise.
• taking risks.
• being happy.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Eclectic and extensive.
The six things I could never do without
1. Sunshine
2. Adventure
3. Intelligent conversation
4. Creativity
5. Music
6. Great food
Actually, just hand me an ice cream cone and a cute puppy and I'm good.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Cognitive dissonance. And where I parked my car. Seriously, I forget where I park a lot. It's a problem.
On a typical Friday night I am
I'm definitely not at the club. Last Friday I was making homemade bottled cocktails, ginger beer, and negroni popsicles.
You should message me if
TL;DR You're smart, critical-thinking, independent, open-minded, introspective, and confident.


*****
He's quite good looking too :gay:

caberham
Mar 18, 2009

by Smythe
Grimey Drawer
What's with men who refuse to date anyone slightly older but are comfortable dating people from half their age to their age :wtc:

WIFEY WATCHDOG
Jun 25, 2012

Yeah, well I don't trust this guy. I think he regifted, he degifted, and now he's using an upstairs invite as a springboard to a Super Bowl sex romp.

caberham posted:

What's with men who refuse to date anyone slightly older but are comfortable dating people from half their age to their age :wtc:

Men age like fine wine, women age like vinegar. It's a known fact.

Owlbear Camus
Jan 3, 2013

Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?



caberham posted:

I'm a sommelier by trade

:jerkbag:

caberham
Mar 18, 2009

by Smythe
Grimey Drawer
Man these photos:

My self-summary
I do not actually live in HK...yet! Potential trophy husband from the United States.

Greetings. I am done with my life in the west as far as I see it, and I want to arrange something with someone in what will probably be the most unorthodox scenario ever written here. I live in the United States for now, but as suggested, I have nothing tying me here other than a lack of connection elsewhere. The unorthodox scenario: I want to move to the other side of the world and be someone's trophy husband. Take care of me, and I will take care of you. I would like to be the stay-at-home party in a reverse of gender norms, although I am definitively male and masculine, and I do not plan on staying at home all day every day.

I identify most as an artist with an emphasis on photography, videography, and music production. My non-artistic interests are very geek-centric, i.e. gaming, film, architecture, design, and so on. I can also be described as a nihilist, which is why it will be so easy for me to just pack up here and go to you. As such, I seek adventure in life to feel alive, and this endeavour is certainly adventurous for the both of us. I grew up as a white person in Seoul, South Korea, so I am nothing if not disenfranchised by definition. My choice to be largely outside of traditional functions in society was reinforced when my father and I moved to the US in 2000, because I am just as much of a foreigner here as I was in KR. I will always be a foreigner, wherever I call home, but I am ok with this. Maybe I can be your foreigner.

I have my Bachelor of Science in communication and my English teaching certification from an agency in Busan, KR. I will be finishing my Master of Business Administration via distance learning in September 2016, as well, but I only speak English, which means that my work options where I move would be mostly limited to English teacher there. I am not necessarily opposed to teaching English--I did pursue certification, after all--although I would prefer to just not work. Yes, this entire proposal is just slathered in selfishness, but try finding any nihilist who wants to exchange hours of their life for pay from a would-be employer. Besides, you also get to be selfish and make certain demands in this arrangement (which we will discuss in great detail to ensure that this is as ideal for the both of us as we can make it). The marriage ensures my visa status so that I can stay with you as long as you would like me to, as per your laws on the family visa. It also means that you can get your lawful permanent resident status in the US if you want, although I would really like to not move back if at all possible, and I would not in good conscience recommend moving to the US.

I have no criminal background, I do not drink, smoke, or do drugs, and I am arguably attractive. I was in the military for a while and I currently work as a community safety official for the local university police department in Boulder, Colorado, so I believe that I am in actions a professional and ethical person regardless of how this post may make me look. I am also very receptive and accepting of others who are very different from myself, because I can empathise with it personally.

This is all strange, but so am I, and so are you if you are considering this. Let us try to find meaning in this world together, stranger.

LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009

caberham posted:

What's with men who refuse to date anyone slightly older but are comfortable dating people from half their age to their age :wtc:
Beats the gently caress out of me cause chicks in their 40s are down for everything you could think of and have no hang ups.

Marmaduke!
May 19, 2009

Why would it do that!?

caberham posted:

Man these photos:

Those are called "words".

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David Corbett
Feb 6, 2008

Courage, my friends; 'tis not too late to build a better world.

caberham posted:

What's with men who refuse to date anyone slightly older but are comfortable dating people from half their age to their age :wtc:

Eh, if they want to have kids in the future but not right away, there are some reasons to avoid dating a woman too much older than them. Depends on their age and priorities, I guess. There's a lot of social pressure around dating an older woman, too.

A couple of my friends, though, have mothers about a decade older than their fathers. Rare as hell, but it happens.

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