Let's Read: "Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality"

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Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

I believe Harry later after his trip to Azkaban looks back on this event in the context of the Milgram experiment and concludes Hermione was a lot stronger than he initially gave her credit for.

# ? Oct 20, 2015 16:18

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# ? May 17, 2024 18:14

Added Space: Jul 13, 2012; Free Markets
Free People

Curse you Hayard-Gunnes!

This situation is, in some ways, a lower-stakes version of the Milgram Experiment where subjects are asked to "kill" a subject and nearly everyone obeys. I know he references that at some point, but I'm not sure if he's aware of the comparison here.

e: f,b

# ? Oct 21, 2015 15:24

JosephWongKS: Apr 4, 2009; by Nyc_Tattoo

Chapter 16: Lateral Thinking
Part Fifteen

quote:

Without even thinking, Harry turned to look at the Slytherin contingent.

"Draco, of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Malfoy," said Professor Quirrell. "It seems that many of your fellow pupils are looking in your direction. Come forth, if you would."

Draco did so, walking with a certain pride in his bearing. He stepped onto the dais and looked up at Professor Quirrell with a smile.

"Mr. Malfoy," Professor Quirrell said. "Fire."

Harry would have tried to stop it if there'd been time but in one smooth motion Draco spun on the Ravenclaw contingent and raised his wand and said "Mahasu! " like it was all one syllable and Hermione was saying "Ow!" and that was that.

"Well struck," said Professor Quirrell. "Two Quirrell points to you. But tell me, why did you target Miss Granger?"

There was a pause.

Finally Draco said, "Because she stood out the most."

Professor Quirrell's lips turned up in a thin smile. "And that is the true reason why Draco Malfoy is dangerous. Had he selected any other, that child would more likely resent being singled out, and Mr. Malfoy would more probably make an enemy.

I don�t buy this. Why would Hermione be less likely to resent being singled out? Has she previously shown any signs of being a weak person or of possessing low self-esteem? Quite the contrary � she�s shown sufficiently strength of character to stand up to Quirrell.

quote:

And while Mr. Malfoy might have given some other justification for selecting her, that would have served him no purpose save to alienate some of you, while others are already cheering him whether he says anything or not. Which is to say that Mr. Malfoy is dangerous because he knows who to strike and who not to strike, how to make allies and avoid making enemies.

I�m not sure if Quirrell�s public highlighting of Malfoy�s manipulativeness is doing Malfoy�s reputation any good.

quote:

Two more Quirrell points to you, Mr. Malfoy. And as you have demonstrated an exemplary virtue of Slytherin, I think that Salazar's House has earned a point as well. You may rejoin your friends."

Draco bowed slightly and walked back to the Slytherin contingent. Some clapping started from the green-trimmed robes, but Professor Quirrell made a cutting gesture and silence fell again.

"It might seem that our game is done," said Professor Quirrell. "And yet there is a single student in this classroom who is more dangerous than the scion of Malfoy."

And now for some reason there seemed to be an awful lot of people looking at...

"Harry Potter. Come forth."

This did not bode well.

Harry reluctantly walked towards where Professor Quirrell stood on his raised dais, still leaning slightly against his teacher's desk.

The nervousness of being put into the spotlight seemed to be sharpening Harry's wits as he approached the dais, and his mind was ruffling through possibilities for what Professor Quirrell might think could demonstrate Harry's dangerousness. Would he be asked to cast a spell? To defeat a Dark Lord?

Demonstrate his supposed immunity to the Killing Curse? Surely Professor Quirrell was too smart for that...

Harry stopped well short of the dais, and Professor Quirrell didn't ask him to come any closer.

"The irony is," said Professor Quirrell, "you all looked at the right person for entirely the wrong reasons. You are thinking," Professor Quirrell's lips twisted, "that Harry Potter has defeated the Dark Lord, and so must be very dangerous. Bah. He was one year old. Whatever quirk of fate killed the Dark Lord likely had little to do with Mr. Potter's abilities as a fighter. But after I heard rumors of one Ravenclaw facing down five older Slytherins, I interviewed several eyewitnesses and came to the conclusion that Harry Potter would be my most dangerous student."

A jolt of adrenaline poured into Harry's system, making him stand up straighter. He didn't know what conclusion Professor Quirrell had come to, but that couldn't be good.

"Ah, Professor Quirrell -" Harry started to say.

Professor Quirrell looked amused. "You're thinking that I've come up with a wrong answer, aren't you, Mr. Potter? You will learn to expect better of me." Professor Quirrell straightened from where he had leaned on the desk. "Mr. Potter, all things have their accustomed uses. Give me ten unaccustomed uses of objects in this room for combat!"

For a moment Harry was rendered speechless by the sheer, raw shock of having been understood.
And then the ideas started to pour out.

"There are desks which are heavy enough to be fatal if dropped from a great height. There are chairs with metal legs that could impale someone if driven hard enough. The air in this classroom would be deadly by its absence, since people die in vacuum, and it can serve as a carrier for poison gases."

This is starting to remind me of that Troper Tale in the old TV Tropes thread, the one about how a Troper fought off his bullies with a pencil and made them cry, after which his whole class applauded.

# ? Oct 22, 2015 08:48

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

JosephWongKS posted:

I�m not sure if Quirrell�s public highlighting of Malfoy�s manipulativeness is doing Malfoy�s reputation any good.

Remember that in this story, being manipulative consists entirely of going 'Hello, I am very intelligent and I am extremely clever and manipulative. Look how manipulated you are.' And then another character going 'Oh no! He's manipulating me! I better manipulate back!'

# ? Oct 22, 2015 08:50

reignonyourparade: Nov 15, 2012

I think you're not supposed to read it "Hermione won't resent being singled out" but "Hermione came pre-singled out by quirrel, so instead of another student going 'malroy shot me what a jerk' he's just a footnote compared to what a terrible person Hermione thinks quirrel is."

# ? Oct 22, 2015 10:48

Furia: Jul 26, 2015; Grimey Drawer

JosephWongKS posted:

This is starting to remind me of that Troper Tale in the old TV Tropes thread, the one about how a Troper fought off his bullies with a pencil and made them cry, after which his whole class applauded.

I wouldn't suppose we could have that tale for reference, could we?

# ? Oct 22, 2015 10:53

anilEhilated: Feb 17, 2014; But I say fuck the rain.; Grimey Drawer

Furia posted:

I wouldn't suppose we could have that tale for reference, could we?

I'd assume it's somewhere in here. Worth a read if you don't mind shocking stupidity.
edit: Alternately, google shitthatdidnthappen.txt.

anilEhilated fucked around with this message at 11:26 on Oct 22, 2015

# ? Oct 22, 2015 11:21

JosephWongKS: Apr 4, 2009; by Nyc_Tattoo

Furia posted:

I wouldn't suppose we could have that tale for reference, could we?

I think my memory had gotten mixed up and I'd conflated this Troper Tale:

quote:

Arguably, this Troper is probably the youngest of which who suffers from this Trope. This is practically the invisible label that's under the invisible Berserk Button of this 13-year old kid. He broke 33 pencils in his life, and had a good friend break two of those pencils because they were too hard. He even yelled at someone because that guy was the third person who asked if he could be punched for the third time, with a teacher only a mile ahead!

with this Troper Tale:

quote:

- This Troper gave a very nasty one that was merged with a Hannibal Lecture to a bully Jerk Jock type. It can be summed up as, "I really do pity you. . .or at least I try to. . . . You are just an empty fool who tries to erase his fear that he might not get a football scholarship by bullying those lesser than him. I continue these "geeky" behaviors because they let me form at least a core of my personality. You. . .you have nothing any more other than to try to fill your empty core up with the fear of others while watching that perfect six pack decay from one too many beers." He cried and ran away, having been emotionally dissected.

# ? Oct 22, 2015 12:40

Tunicate: May 15, 2012

Nah, you're thinking of this one

quote:

One time, this troper got pushed around by a bully at school. Having had enough he gathered his Nakama and challenged the bully. The smug jerk, thinking he was guranteed victory, accepted. We met on the roof of the school after class. He Begun by taunting me about the PTSD he knew I had. Suddenly, his goons grabbed my friends. Having been forced to a fight, I moved into my fighting stance. He Began to change. I stood relaxedly, simply informing him that "The predator is now the prey." He slowed. I stared him down. The bully, outmatched.Suddenly He Began to reveal he knew about my aspergers and asexuality too. That was my berserk button. I attacked, a staggering barrage that laid him low. Knowing defeat, He Began to crawl away, as his friends stared in awe. "This kid.. is.. inhuman..". I walked towards his friends and snapped a pencil as I would their spines Heh. They gathered their wounded leader, and I rested, knowing that justice had prevailed.

# ? Oct 22, 2015 18:08

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

reignonyourparade posted:

I think you're not supposed to read it "Hermione won't resent being singled out" but "Hermione came pre-singled out by quirrel, so instead of another student going 'malroy shot me what a jerk' he's just a footnote compared to what a terrible person Hermione thinks quirrel is."

Of course, he could have shot Crabbe or Goyle since their loyalty is guaranteed. Or he could have shot Quirrel. Whether or not you accept that Hermione herself wouldn't resent Draco for choosing her (which she would), and whether or not you accept that other people wouldn't think he was an arsehole for choosing her (which they would), she's still not the only valid target.

# ? Oct 23, 2015 01:52

Regallion: Nov 11, 2012

Tiggum posted:

Of course, he could have shot Crabbe or Goyle since their loyalty is guaranteed. Or he could have shot Quirrel. Whether or not you accept that Hermione herself wouldn't resent Draco for choosing her (which she would), and whether or not you accept that other people wouldn't think he was an arsehole for choosing her (which they would), she's still not the only valid target.

He is going to be a jerk ANYWAY, but by targeting a mudblood he gets slytherin approval which he values most. Shooting crabbe/goyle is viable but that makes him untrustworthy, while shooting Quirrel has unpredictable consequences. Hermione is a great target all-around.

# ? Oct 23, 2015 14:32

Jazerus: May 24, 2011

Draco ignored the best target of all: Harry. It gets him respect from the Slytherins and Harry is arrogant enough to take it as a recognition of his unparalleled vague dangerousness.

# ? Oct 23, 2015 14:50

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

I mean, Draco isn't nearly as smart or good at reading people as the story thinks he is. No-one is. The idea that the super clever nerd can make everyone do whatever he wants is a huge fantasy for guys like Yud.

# ? Oct 23, 2015 20:43

Nessus: Dec 22, 2003; After a Speaker vote, you may be entitled to a valuable coupon or voucher!

Yeah this is, if anything, showing how Hermione is way more mature than any of these jokers, including Quirrell

# ? Oct 24, 2015 05:16

JosephWongKS: Apr 4, 2009; by Nyc_Tattoo

Chapter 16: Lateral Thinking
Part Sixteen

quote:

Harry had to stop briefly for breath, and into that pause Professor Quirrell said:

"That's three. You need ten. The rest of the class thinks that you've already used up the whole contents of the classroom."

"Ha! The floor can be removed to create a spike pit to fall into, the ceiling can be collapsed on someone, the walls can serve as raw material for Transfiguration into any number of deadly things - knives, say."

"That's six. But surely you're scraping the bottom of the barrel now?"

"I haven't even started! Just look at all the people! Having a Gryffindor attack the enemy is an ordinary use, of course -"

"I will not count that one."

"- but their blood can also be used to drown someone. Ravenclaws are known for their brains, but their internal organs could be sold on the black market for enough money to hire an assassin. Slytherins aren't just useful as assassins, they can also be thrown at sufficient velocity to crush an enemy. And Hufflepuffs, in addition to being hard workers, also contain bones that can be removed, sharpened, and used to stab someone."

This isn�t being �dangerous�, this is just being �creepy�.

quote:

By now the rest of the class was staring at Harry in some horror. Even the Slytherins looked shocked.

"That's ten, though I'm being generous in counting the Ravenclaw one. Now, for extra credit, one Quirrell point for each use of objects in this room which you have not yet named." Professor Quirrell favored Harry with a companionable smile. "The rest of your class thinks you are in trouble now, since you've named everything except the targets and you have no idea what may be done with those."

"Bah! I've named all the people, but not my robes, which can be used to suffocate an enemy if wrapped around their head enough times, or Hermione Granger's robes, which can be torn into strips and tied into a rope and used to hang someone, or Draco Malfoy's robes, which can be used to start a fire -"

"Three points," said Professor Quirrell, "no more clothing now."

"My wand can be pushed into an enemy's brain through their eye socket" and someone made a horrified, strangling sound.

"Four points, no more wands."

"My wristwatch could suffocate someone if jammed down their throat -"

"Five points, and enough."

And these are just Eliezer�s transparent fantasies about how he�d be an incredible badass killing machine if only he�d condescend to stoop to such levels of barbarism.

# ? Oct 25, 2015 15:13

Stroth: Mar 31, 2007; All Problems Solved

That right there is the exact point where I just gave up and stopped reading. I managed to hang on this long by assuming it would get better due to all the rave reviews, but this scene is just too goddamn stupid for anything to justify it.

# ? Oct 25, 2015 15:24

anilEhilated: Feb 17, 2014; But I say fuck the rain.; Grimey Drawer

Well, counting people as "objects that can be used for combat" is rather telling. Not to mention half of those shouldn't even count - removing the floor in order to reveal a spike pit isn't exactly a use of the floor.
I honestly have no idea what he's trying to prove here, apart from being able to spout contrived bullshit.

# ? Oct 25, 2015 15:43

NihilCredo: Jun 6, 2011; iram omni possibili modo preme:
plus una illa te diffamabit, quam multæ virtutes commendabunt

It's hard to draw the line between Eliezer's ideas of "so weird it's funny" and "so weird it's creepy", but I'm pretty sure this is one of the parts where you're actually *supposed* to cringe at Harry's creepiness. IIRC, at some point later on he wonders "am I ever going to live that one down?".

# ? Oct 25, 2015 16:00

anilEhilated: Feb 17, 2014; But I say fuck the rain.; Grimey Drawer

Yeah, it's pretty hard to attribute this poo poo to the character when you know that the writer is a genuine nutjob.

# ? Oct 25, 2015 16:09

Karia: Mar 27, 2013; Self-portrait, Snake on a Plane
Oil painting, c. 1482-1484
Leonardo DaVinci (1452-1591)

Stroth posted:

That right there is the exact point where I just gave up and stopped reading. I managed to hang on this long by assuming it would get better due to all the rave reviews, but this scene is just too goddamn stupid for anything to justify it.

This is the point where I fell in love, because it was so ridiculous and over the top and horrible that it had to be self parody. But apparently Poe's law was in full effect, and it's quite possible that the person who recommended it to me liked it non-ironically. This makes me sad.

# ? Oct 25, 2015 16:13

Trin Tragula: Apr 22, 2005

Not knowing a drat thing about who Yud was, I was still charitably thinking "yeah, he's poking fun at things like the wizard duel in the first book and the incredibly dangerous magic they get taught even from first year." The high point for me is just round the corner, and I'm interested to see how it reads now I know who he is.

# ? Oct 25, 2015 16:19

Tehan: Jan 19, 2011

This might explain part of why the story's so popular. Everyone interpreted it as the side of Poe they preferred and walked away happy.

# ? Oct 25, 2015 17:49

90s Cringe Rock: Nov 29, 2006

This is awful, but "Having a Gryffindor attack the enemy is an ordinary use, of course -" is legitimately funny. Well. Comparatively?

# ? Oct 25, 2015 19:14

Cingulate: Oct 23, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

The scene reads like an attempt to look into the mind of a future school shooter.

chrisoya posted:

This is awful, but "Having a Gryffindor attack the enemy is an ordinary use, of course -" is legitimately funny. Well. Comparatively?

No, it's a bullyish stereotype joke and not funny.

# ? Oct 25, 2015 23:38

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

anilEhilated posted:

Well, counting people as "objects that can be used for combat" is rather telling. Not to mention half of those shouldn't even count - removing the floor in order to reveal a spike pit isn't exactly a use of the floor.
I honestly have no idea what he's trying to prove here, apart from being able to spout contrived bullshit.

The problem with the scene is the disconnect between Harry's answers and the supposed point of proving that he's dangerous. Someone who was actually dangerous wouldn't come up with unusual uses for objects in the room, they'd just hit you. If it was an exercise in creativity it would be rather macabre for school but it would make sense. It doesn't demonstrate that Harry is dangerous though.

NihilCredo posted:

It's hard to draw the line between Eliezer's ideas of "so weird it's funny" and "so weird it's creepy", but I'm pretty sure this is one of the parts where you're actually *supposed* to cringe at Harry's creepiness. IIRC, at some point later on he wonders "am I ever going to live that one down?".

I don't think it's really that creepy. It's basically the same thing as drawing stick figures getting killed by spikes and lava and whatever, which lots of kids do.

Cingulate posted:

The scene reads like an attempt to look into the mind of a future school shooter.

Nah, it's not a power or revenge fantasy.

# ? Oct 26, 2015 02:44

Karia: Mar 27, 2013; Self-portrait, Snake on a Plane
Oil painting, c. 1482-1484
Leonardo DaVinci (1452-1591)

Tiggum posted:

The problem with the scene is the disconnect between Harry's answers and the supposed point of proving that he's dangerous. Someone who was actually dangerous wouldn't come up with unusual uses for objects in the room, they'd just hit you. If it was an exercise in creativity it would be rather macabre for school but it would make sense. It doesn't demonstrate that Harry is dangerous though.

Just interpret it as dangerous to himself and you're golden. He's pretty clearly mentally hosed up.

# ? Oct 26, 2015 04:25

The Iron Rose: May 12, 2012; Cat Army

Cingulate posted:

The scene reads like an attempt to look into the mind of a future school shooter.
No, it's a bullyish stereotype joke and not funny.

nah

# ? Oct 26, 2015 04:29

JosephWongKS: Apr 4, 2009; by Nyc_Tattoo

Chapter 16: Lateral Thinking
Part Seventeen

quote:

"Hmph," Harry said. "Ten Quirrell points to one House point, right? You should have let me keep going until I'd won the House Cup, I haven't even started yet on the unaccustomed uses of everything I've got in my pockets" or the mokeskin pouch itself and he couldn't talk about the Time-Turner or the invisibility cloak but there had to be something he could say about those red spheres...

"Enough, Mr. Potter. Well, do you all think you understand what makes Mr. Potter the most dangerous student in the classroom?"

Now that his classmates are all aware of how creepy Eliezarry is and (presumably) on guard against him, can he still be the most dangerous student in the classroom? The most lethal knife is the one you did not expect, after all.

quote:

There was a low murmur of assent.

"Say it out loud, please. Terry Boot, what makes your dorm-mate dangerous?"

"Ah... um... he's creative?"

"Wrong! " bellowed Professor Quirrell, and his fist came down sharply on his desk with an amplified sound that made everyone jump. "All of Mr. Potter's ideas were worse than useless!"

Harry started in surprise.

"Remove the floor to create a spike trap? Ridiculous! In combat you do not have that sort of preparation time and if you did there would be a hundred better uses! Transfigure material from the walls? Mr. Potter cannot perform Transfiguration! Mr. Potter had exactly one idea which he could use immediately, right now, without extensive preparation or a cooperative enemy or magic he does not know. That idea was to jam his wand through his enemy's eye socket. Which would be more likely to break his wand than kill his opponent! In short, Mr. Potter, I'm afraid that your proposals were uniformly awful."

"What?" Harry said indignantly. "You asked for unusual ideas, not practical ones! I was thinking outside the box! How would you use something in this classroom to kill someone?"

Professor Quirrell's expression was disapproving, but there were smile crinkles around his eyes. "Mr. Potter, I never said you were to kill. There is a time and a place for taking your enemy alive, and inside a Hogwarts classroom is usually one of those places. But to answer your question, hit them on the neck with the edge of a chair."

There was some laughter from the Slytherins, but they were laughing with Harry, not at him.

Everyone else was looking rather horrified.

"But Mr. Potter has now demonstrated why he is the most dangerous student in the classroom. I asked for unaccustomed uses of items in this room for combat. Mr. Potter could have suggested using a desk to block a curse, or using a chair to trip an oncoming enemy, or wrapping cloth around his arm to create an improvised shield. Instead, every single use that Mr. Potter named was offensive rather than defensive, and either fatal or potentially fatal."

That�s a good point. I had not noticed that myself.

quote:

What? Wait, that couldn't be true... Harry had a sudden sense of vertigo as he tried to remember what exactly he'd suggested, surely there had to be a counterexample...

"And that," Professor Quirrell said, "is why Mr. Potter's ideas were so strange and useless - because he had to reach far into the impractical in order to meet his standard of killing the enemy. To him, any idea which fell short of that was not worth considering. This reflects a quality that we might call intent to kill. I have it. Harry Potter has it, which is how he could stare down five older Slytherins. Draco Malfoy does not have it, not yet. Mr. Malfoy would hardly shrink from talk of ordinary murder, but even he was shocked - yes you were Mr. Malfoy, I was watching your face - when Mr. Potter described how to use his classmates' bodies as raw material. There are censors inside your mind which make you flinch away from thoughts like that. Mr. Potter thinks purely of killing the enemy, he will grasp at any means to do so, he does not flinch, his censors are off. Even though his youthful genius is so undisciplined and impractical as to be useless, his intent to kill makes Harry Potter the Most Dangerous Student in the Classroom. One final point to him - no, let us make that a point to Ravenclaw - for this indispensable requisite of a true fighting wizard."

It�s not clear whether the author intends the readers to admire Quirrell / Eliezarry or to be disgusted by them.

# ? Oct 26, 2015 04:46

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

JosephWongKS posted:

That�s a good point.

Is it though? You don't notice that Harry's ideas are all about how to kill someone because that's where your mind went as well. It's how most people would interpret the task, I think.

# ? Oct 26, 2015 04:55

Ravenfood: Nov 4, 2011

Tiggum posted:

Is it though? You don't notice that Harry's ideas are all about how to kill someone because that's where your mind went as well. It's how most people would interpret the task, I think.

One thing that comes up a lot in the books is how non-lethal and occasionally bizarrely convoluted wizarding combat generally is. Dumbledore animates some statues to jump in front of people to block curses at one point, iirc. In that in-universe context, just how immediately Harry decides he's going to murder everyone is bizarre. That said, it also doesn't mean he's got some kind of killer instinct, just that he's not particularly imaginative in indirect combat, fails to understand the value of defense, and, most likely, misinterpreted the question and just wandered down a pretty obvious thought process that narrowed his thought process.

e: Oh yeah, forgot about the "most dangerous person" context. Yeah gently caress Quirrell.

Ravenfood fucked around with this message at 06:35 on Oct 26, 2015

# ? Oct 26, 2015 06:28

Seraphic Neoman: Jul 19, 2011

No gently caress you Quirrel you're the one who set up the question this way. Proving you're the most dangerous person would surely involve murder.

Also I hope they don't drag this poo poo out.

But then I remember who wrote this.

# ? Oct 26, 2015 06:29

Echo Cian: Jun 16, 2011

If a character just bothered to bring up the quite rational point that "He did that because it's how you intentionally framed the question," this entire scene would be derailed.

Or does intent and how you expect words to be taken based on personalities and how brains work not factor into rationality, I can't keep track.

# ? Oct 26, 2015 06:45

JosephWongKS: Apr 4, 2009; by Nyc_Tattoo

Chapter 16: Lateral Thinking
Part Eighteen

quote:

Harry's mouth gaped open in speechless shock as he searched frantically for something to say to this. That is so completely not what I am about!

But he could see that the other students were starting to believe it. Harry's mind was flipping through possible denials and not finding anything that could stand up against the authoritative voice of Professor Quirrell. The best Harry had come up with was "I'm not a psychopath, I'm just very creative" and that sounded kind of ominous. He needed to say something unexpected, something that would make people stop and reconsider �

"And now," Professor Quirrell said. "Mr. Potter. Fire."

Nothing happened, of course.

"Ah, well," said Professor Quirrell. He sighed. "I suppose we must all start somewhere. Mr. Potter, select any student you please for a Simple Strike Hex. You will do so before I dismiss your class for the day. If you do not, I will begin deducting House points, and I will keep on deducting them until you do."

I�m not sure about Quirrell�s objective here, whether as a teacher or as a stooge of Voldemort. Is Quirrell trying to rehabilitate Eliezarry�s reputation by giving Eliezarry a chance to show his reluctance to hurt his fellow classmates?

quote:

Harry carefully raised his wand. He had to do that much, or Professor Quirrell might start deducting House points right away.

Slowly, as though on a roasting platter, Harry turned to face the Slytherins.

And Harry's eyes met Draco's.

Draco Malfoy didn't look the slightest bit afraid. The blonde-haired boy wasn't giving any visible sign of assent such as Harry had given Hermione, but then he could hardly be expected to do so. The other Slytherins would think that rather odd.

"Why the hesitation?" said Professor Quirrell. "Surely there's only one obvious choice."

"Yes," Harry said. "Only one obvious choice."

Harry twisted the wand and said "Ma-ha-su! "

There was complete silence in the classroom.

Harry shook his left arm, trying to get rid of the lingering sting.

There was more silence.

That would have been my choice as well. Quirrell did say �select any student� instead of �select any other student.

quote:

Finally Professor Quirrell sighed. "Yes, quite ingenious, but there was a lesson to be taught and you dodged it. One point from Ravenclaw for showing off your own cleverness at the expense of the actual goal. Class dismissed."

And before anyone else could say anything, Harry sang out:

"Just kidding! RAVENCLAW!"

What?

quote:

There was silence for a brief moment after that, a sound of people thinking, and then the murmurs started and rapidly rose to a roar of conversation.

Harry turned towards Professor Quirrell, the two of them needed to talk -

Quirrell had slumped over and was trudging back to his chair.

No. Not acceptable. They really needed to talk. Stuff the zombie act, Professor Quirrell would probably wake up if Harry poked him a couple of times. Harry started forward -

WRONG
DON'T
BAD IDEA

Harry swayed and stopped in his tracks, feeling dizzy.

And then a flock of Ravenclaws descended on him and the discussions began.

My guess is that this mystery guardian angel is the Voldemort-shard within Eliezzary, speaking up to preserve the vessel in which it is embedded.

# ? Oct 26, 2015 07:59

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

So what was the lesson and how did Harry dodge it? Quirrell is a bad teacher.

# ? Oct 26, 2015 08:25

90s Cringe Rock: Nov 29, 2006

Tiggum posted:

So what was the lesson and how did Harry dodge it? Quirrell is a bad teacher.

He shot himself, and :agreed:

Godbot only knows what the lesson was meant to be.

# ? Oct 26, 2015 09:04

Xander77: Apr 6, 2009; Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.

Tiggum posted:

So what was the lesson and how did Harry dodge it?

Violence is good / necessary, and following orders from Voldermort is a good thing.

...

Edit - this is a fairly bad book, which conveys a bad philosophy and is utterly inconsistent about its themes and worldbuilding. However, reading it three paragraphs at a time, instead of chapter by chapter, and trying to come up with the worst possible interpretation for those paragraphs is a bad practice which contributes to the thread going full retard.

Xander77 fucked around with this message at 13:45 on Oct 26, 2015

# ? Oct 26, 2015 13:41

Hyper Crab Tank: Feb 10, 2014; The 16-bit retro-future of crustacean-based transportation

When I first got to the part before this last one, I thought Harry was the most dangerous student because his ideas are impractical, over-the-top, and outright insane, which therefore indicates he's an unpredictable maniac who jumps at the opportunity to get clever, and is going to get himself and people he cares about hurt or killed if he doesn't slow the gently caress down and starts thinking before he opens his mouth.

Unfortunately that doesn't seem to end up being the actual point made.

Xander77 posted:

Edit - this is a fairly bad book, which conveys a bad philosophy and is utterly inconsistent about its themes and worldbuilding. However, reading it three paragraphs at a time, instead of chapter by chapter, and trying to come up with the worst possible interpretation for those paragraphs is a bad practice which contributes to the thread going full retard.

This is also true.

# ? Oct 26, 2015 18:00

Zedd: Jul 6, 2009; I mean, who would have noticed another madman around here?

Is there a thread like this for My Immortal? :allears:

# ? Oct 26, 2015 18:06

JosephWongKS: Apr 4, 2009; by Nyc_Tattoo

Chapter 17 � Locating the Hypothesis
Part One

quote:

You have always been J. K. Rowling.

Historical note: In the Roman calendar, the "Ides" of a month referred to the 15th day of March, May, July, and October, and to the 13th day of all other months.

"You start to see the pattern, hear the rhythm of the world."

__________________________________________

Thursday.

If you wanted to be specific, 7:24am on Thursday morning.

Harry was sitting on his bed, a textbook lying limp in his motionless hands.

Harry had just had an idea for a truly brilliant experimental test.

It took eight entire chapters after Eliezarry made it to Hogwarts (in Chapter Nine) before he finally gets down to experimenting with magic (not counting his �experiments� with Comed-tea).

quote:

It would mean waiting an extra hour for breakfast, but that was why he had cereal bars. No, this idea absolutely positively had to be tested right away, immediately, now.

Harry set the textbook aside, leapt out of bed, raced around his bed, yanked out the cavern level of his trunk, ran down the stairs, and started moving boxes of books around. (He really needed to unpack and get bookcases at some point but he was in the middle of his textbook reading contest with Hermione and falling behind so he hadn't had time.)

Harry found the book he wanted and raced back upstairs.

The other boys were getting ready to go down to breakfast in the Great Hall and start the day.

"Excuse me can you do something for me?" said Harry. He was flipping through the book's index as he spoke, found the page with the first ten thousand primes, flipped to that page, and thrust the book at Anthony Goldstein. "Pick two three-digit numbers from this list. Don't tell me what they are. Just multiply them together and tell me the product. Oh, and can you do the calculation twice to double-check? Please make really sure you've got the right answer, I'm not sure what's going to happen to me or the universe if you make a multiplication error."

It said a lot about what life in that dorm had been like over the past few days that Anthony didn't even bother saying anything like "Why'd you suddenly flip out?" or "That seems really weird, what are your reasons for asking?" or "What do you mean, you're not sure what's going to happen to the universe?"

Either Eliezarry�s fellow students are a lot kinder than most children would be in the face of Eliezarry�s sociopathy and general weirdness (as displayed in the past few chapters), or he�s still coasting on his celebrity as the baby who banished Voldemort.

# ? Oct 27, 2015 09:36

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# ? May 17, 2024 18:14

MikeJF: Dec 20, 2003

Who actually has a book with the first ten thousand primes listed. Who would print a book with ten thousand primes. There's zero use to that. Any real use for that information would be computerised.

# ? Oct 27, 2015 09:43

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The Book Barn > Let's Read: "Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality"

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