duTrieux. posted:

smoking an electronic cigarette? whatever, i don't care. tiny wisps of vapor and no scent, sure.

holding something the size of a small paperback book and spitting out dense swirling clouds in front of you as you tear down the freeway at 90mph in your tesla? go gently caress yourself.

Smythe posted:

these fuckin n00b just need to masterly ghost their vapes like a sneakatoke weed teen

Parallel Paraplegic posted:

second-hand smoke doesn't seem to do it though, somehow. maybe it's the flavoring agent or whatever? idk

Nintendo Kid posted:

duTrieux. posted:

if you want to blow clouds be honest with yourself and smoke a weed

Broken Machine posted:

vaping weed is also a thing though, you can get cartridges with concentrated oil loaded in legal / med states

Cyberbird posted:

a thing i am seriously considering to manage chronic pain without ruining my lungs (as much).

Cyberbird posted:

a thing i am seriously considering to manage chronic pain without ruining my lungs (as much).

Shifty Pony posted:

the number of vapor juice shops that are around here makes silicon valley seem like a shining example of prudent investment.

does that stuff have like booze store levels of profit margin or something?

Broken Machine posted:

vaping weed is also a thing though, you can get cartridges with concentrated oil loaded in legal / med states

Cyberbird posted:

a thing i am seriously considering to manage chronic pain without ruining my lungs (as much).

Shifty Pony posted:

the number of vapor juice shops that are around here makes silicon valley seem like a shining example of prudent investment.

does that stuff have like booze store levels of profit margin or something?

ayn rand hand job posted:

someone needs to reanimate breitbart and kill him again

quote:

Can you imagine how few accidents must happen on the roads in Riyadh? Pretty much the only thing Saudi Arabia gets right is forbidding women from driving, thereby avoiding the terrible hell known colloquially as “femsteering.”

Meanwhile, in the west, an insidious creeping threat to vehicular manhood has integrated itself into our daily lives while we weren’t looking. It snuck its way into every vehicle on the road, and it is in every single mobile phone on the market. I’m talking, of course, about GPS.

GPS challenges one of the few remaining areas of male excellence: navigation. Without ruling the roads, what do we have left? GPS stands for Global Positioning System, but it might as well be Geographic Patriarchy Smasher.Who could have guessed that the age of men would pass not with a bang, but with 24 satellites silently orbiting the earth?

Men have serious issues with GPS, starting with the dumbing-down of the roadways. Older drivers developed an instinctive understanding of the road through repeated travel. It was a tradition handed down from father to son for generations, since the Persians landed at an inconvenient Spartan pass due to Xerxes refusing to pull the fleet over somewhere to ask for directions.

We’ve lost that innate skill by staring at a little screen that tells us where to turn. Even experienced drivers using a GPS on a route they know experience anxiety when the pleasant little voice says, “Turn right in 200 feet.” This will no doubt be labeled PTSD by 2016, but for now we have named it the GPS jitters. Even men going their own way must now be dominated by a passive-aggressive bossy broad telling them where to turn, even though they totally were going to turn there anyway.

We’ve also been losing our sense of direction thanks to the damnable way GPS screens rotate as we travel. Asked what direction we are traveling, a young man will often say “up,” which used to be strictly the province of women and those London and New York City residents that have never driven a car in their lives. Reading a map has largely gone the same way: no one under 30 has a map in their car and, even if they did, they couldn’t read it without searching for a YouTube explainer video.

There’s a bigger problem with GPS while driving. GPS addicts tend to forget to turn their senses outside of the vehicle to do basic driving tasks… like avoiding killing themselves. This poor sod drove right off a closed bridge due to having his nose in his GPS. Here is a whole list of accidents caused by GPS and related mapping software. These stories may be amusing to you, but they should also be a stark lesson. Drivers are doing extremely stupid things because their GPS tells them to.

The next major problem with GPS usage is that it is emasculating, and not just politically with its endless entreaties to “turn left.” Married friends of mine report that navigation system usage is just another way for their wives to symbolically kick them in the groin. If the husband expresses any confusion about how to reach their destination, the woman will slyly say, “Shall I get out the GPS?”

This question actually means: “I believe your brother has a bigger penis than you and could better provide for our young during the long winter, and I’m going to leave you because you’re bad at finding things.” To the husband, this wife code is almost on a par with being cuckolded. Indeed, some men would rather watch their wives get banged by Mandingo than be reduced to asking a TomTom for help.

Many GPS systems also track speed, which results in wives chiding their husbands for even moderate violations of the speed limit. Previously, men were protected by the fact that the speedometer might as well display the speed in Chinese numerals for all the chance a woman would have at deciphering it from the passenger seat.

Even without a woman in the car, the GPS assaults our manhood. If we deviate even slightly from the course it chose for us, it starts nagging and whinging – in a calm female voice, of course – imploring us to do U-turns and increasingly bizarre manoeuvres to return to the original course. Now your wife and the computer lady are colluding. It’s like one of those shopping trips where she brings one of her terrible friends along everywhere to just agree with her, and you’re still not allowed to punch either of them.

A more reasonable approach would be for the drat thing to say, “You’ve left the course I chose for you, was that on purpose and should I remap to your desired route?” Honestly, we are at the point of HAL 9000 not wanting to open the pod bay doors: by 2020, your GPS won’t let you turn if it doesn’t want you to. Perhaps it will weigh you when you get in your car and not let you stop at McDonald’s either.

It isn’t only straight men who have problems with GPS. My gay buddies and I have to put up with passive-aggressive remarks such as, “Continue straight for 20 miles.” Honey, I will not continue straight anywhere, so why don’t you just check your map privilege? Also, based on my personal experience, if you type in, “Take me to Mandingo,” it will reply, “Destination not found.” Pathetic.

Follow Milo Yiannopoulos (@Nero) on Twitter and Facebook, or write to him at milo@breitbart.com. Android users can download Milo Alert! to be notified about new articles when they are published.

Breitbart Tech is a new vertical from Breitbart News covering tech, gaming and internet culture. Bookmark breitbart.com/tech and follow @BreitbartTech on Twitter and Facebook.

Wild EEPROM posted:

i've come up with the ultimate idea for a vape.

1) get a regular car. diesel would work even better.
2) seal all the doors and windows to keep the vape inside better
3) install a pipe that goes from the exhaust right into the cabin
4) watch as fedora neckbeards are in shock with how powerful your v8 vape is

ayn rand hand job posted:

computer parts posted:

modern cars actually don't release enough CO to kill you anymore

ayn rand hand job posted:

quote:

The next major problem with GPS usage is that it is emasculating, and not just politically with its endless entreaties to “turn left.” Married friends of mine report that navigation system usage is just another way for their wives to symbolically kick them in the groin. If the husband expresses any confusion about how to reach their destination, the woman will slyly say, “Shall I get out the GPS?”

This question actually means: “I believe your brother has a bigger penis than you and could better provide for our young during the long winter, and I’m going to leave you because you’re bad at finding things.” To the husband, this wife code is almost on a par with being cuckolded. Indeed, some men would rather watch their wives get banged by Mandingo than be reduced to asking a TomTom for help.

computer parts posted:

modern cars actually don't release enough CO to kill you anymore

duTrieux. posted:

give it a shot. it can't hurt. (literally, i don't think anybody has ever ODd on weed like it's not even possible to get upt ot the ld50 unless you're superman in that one scene

FCKGW posted:

Activision Blizazard just bought King, makers of Candy Crush and ???? for $5.9 billion.

They paid $1.9 billion more than Disney did for Lucas Arts.

mishaq posted:

how much loving money does candy crush make jesus

mishaq posted:

how much loving money does candy crush make jesus

Luigi Thirty posted:

start windows 10 more like start wandows ngrmadly

Smythe posted:

700 watts of pownage

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6n6FYS4kKM

Broken Machine posted:

why not just eat it, that doesn't damage your lungs at all and you could regulate the dose more easily

duTrieux. posted:

give it a shot. it can't hurt. (literally, i don't think anybody has ever ODd on weed like it's not even possible to get upt ot the ld50 unless you're superman in that one scene

computer parts posted:

modern cars actually don't release enough CO to kill you anymore

Cyberbird posted:

a thing i am seriously considering to manage chronic pain without ruining my lungs (as much).