tadashi posted:

The Gauntlet, Round 1
Pick TWO to advance!

Diamond Dogs

FairGame posted:

DannoMack posted:

What's the best hitter someone wants to give me for some combo of:
33yr old 1B Lou Gehrig
27yr old LF/CF Al Simmons
29yr old C/1B Ted Simmons
33yr old OF Ed Delahanty

If no one bites right now, I'd also likely trade the first three on the list for a high pick if there's a superstar non-1B bat available.

DannoMack posted:

What's the best hitter someone wants to give me for some combo of:
33yr old 1B Lou Gehrig
27yr old LF/CF Al Simmons
29yr old C/1B Ted Simmons
33yr old OF Ed Delahanty

If no one bites right now, I'd also likely trade the first three on the list for a high pick if there's a superstar non-1B bat available.

cbx posted:

A prime Foxx would definitely be on the table for that Gehrig.

Pash posted:

Are there specific positions you are looking for? Not that I will necessarily bite but just thought that might help your trade push.

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

I am so glad that I have thus far avoided Trade Madness. I came up with a foolproof strategy, namely having such a dumpster fire of a team that no amount of tinkering is likely to make it any better. That really cuts down on the temptation to make trades.

mentholmoose posted:

Anybody who's looking for a Jimmie Foxx (DannoMack and fairgame, I think) should come to me before anybody else because I'm cooler and more willing to make a deal. My Foxx is older than some but that doesn't seem to matter that much in the SL.

FairGame posted:

Jimmie Foxx has been my starting catcher at age 34 for 2.5 seasons now and has been perfectly cromulent if not outright good. You do not need to pay a premium on a young Foxx so that he can play C or 3b.

Monicro posted:

Aside from this season as it's not on SLRef yet, that Foxx has given you -0.6 dWar total at Catcher??? Also DannoMack I'm also interested in that Gehrig for Foxx (and have lots of goodies to add to him) hit me up

kensei posted:

I'll be in IRC tomorrow, but I would be willing to move my Schilling if you wanna PM me an offer.

Ice To Meet You posted:

The Gauntlet, Round 1
Pick TWO to advance!

Antarctic Coldplayers
Mitt Romney and the Outsourcer's Stone
Mother Base Diamond Dogs
Oventje's Decroux!

Ice To Meet You posted:

Hey DOOP. I feel like experimenting. After I get eliminated from the playoffs in embarrassing fashion, I'll trade my 1995 Barry Larkin for your Ozzie Smith. He has the advantage over Ozzie of not taking 5 years to hit 2 home runs in the majors! And since you're using mostly power pitchers, the defensive downgrade shouldn't hurt you very much.

DOOP posted:

ditto


yep


eh

If I want a slugging SS, I got Tejada as a bad 2B. Can Larkin play 2B competently?

Pander posted:

Mogul doesnt think he can even play SS. Go figure.

Ice To Meet You posted:

Lying isn't a very nice thing to do.

Ice To Meet You posted:

"Can't hit" is relative when we're comparing him to a guy with a career OBP and SLG under .300 in the Super-League!

DannoMack posted:

I'm not sure if I want to punt catcher D on Jimmie Foxx but as he's the only player I've been offered I guess what matters is what people would put with him to get Gehrig.

cbx posted:

What else are you looking for, or is this a BPA situation?

DannoMack posted:

Yeah just a startable guy for my team should be reasonable with Foxx.

Don May posted:

RCMP END NINE WITH 7-5 WIN

Toronto- The RCMP came into this game as the heavy favorites, and even if the result was a bit closer than DannoMack's liking, they proved why today.

With both teams failing to clinch a wildcard until the final week of the season, neither was able to field a premium starting pitcher in today's game. The RCMP fielded Cy Young, who has had an up-and-down season, and may or may not crack the RCMP's postseason rotation, as DannoMack has not, as of press time, decided whether Young or Juan Marichal will receive the fourth slot. The Nine were not much better off, as Eddie Plank had been, by some measures, the Nine's worst starting pitcher in the regular season, though only marginally so.

Normally, in a game like this, the offenses would dominate, but neither team was able to find much of a footing. The RCMP, on the basis of a few timely singles, a sac fly, and an error, had built a 4-2 lead going into the top of the eighth, and, in a typical game, they would be good money to hold on for the win as, in the regular season, the RCMP's bullpen had been effective by Super-League standards. But the game was hardly typical.

Both Mariano Rivera and Lee Smith were injured. DannoMack had tried to ballast the bullpen by making two starters, Walter Johnson and Juan Marichal, available for relief work, but Johnson had pitched just three games prior, and couldn't get his arm loose, and Marichal was not having much better luck. With his top two relievers, both Billy Wagner, both being left-handers, and the Nine having so many right-handed hitters, DannoMack decided to let Cy Young start off the eighth. Young had not thrown an exceptionally high number of pitchers, less than 90 as the inning began, but it had been a long season, and he was old. The Nine got two singles while making just one out, and DannoMack reluctantly removed Young from the game and went to Billy Wagner, hoping that the platoon advantage would not hurt his southpaw reliever too badly.

As DannoMack watched a three-run Pujols bomb that gave the Nine a 5-4 lead, though, he had to admit that it had hurt him, and badly.

The Nine, however, have long had bullpen problems of their own, in that, for a variety of reasons, Monicro has never felt compelled to actually build a bullpen. And so, with a one-run lead in the team's most important game of the season, the best pitcher that Monicro could come up with was Bill "Manos" Hands. In fairness, Hands did start off the inning with a strikeout of Wade Boggs. And then Ted Simmons clocked a hanging slider to tie the game on a long solo shot. Hands regrouped, and retired Joe Morgan on a grounder, but then allowed a pinch-hitting Al Simmons to reach base on a single, leading to Monicro yanking Hands and sending in Mike Stanton. Tris Speaker was not impressed, and hit a single, and then stole second to put runners on second and third with two outs. That brought up Ed Delahanty, recently acquired by RCMP from the Kozmic Space Fish, who gave the RCMP their final 7-5 lead with a two-run double.

In the ninth, DannoMack was forced to go back to his bullpen, and exhumed Mark Eichhorn, hoping that Eichhorn's sidearm delivery would confuse and frighten the predominantly right-handed Nine lineup. For once, the risk paid off, as the Nine went down quietly in the top of the inning, and RCMP moved on to the Dynamo League Division Series, where they will face the Mitchell Kernels.

"I don't think there was any doubt that the RCMP was going to win this game." DannoMack said at his press conference, "We're a good team, we almost won the division, and, let's be clear, in the sixteen seasons the Sic Transit Vir Division has existed, do you know how many owners have won it? Three. Marauder did it. IceMole did it. Beet did it. That's it, all sixteen division titles belong to those three men. Of course, Beet only beat the RCMP by one game, and we only had Babe Ruth for a half of a season this time. I predict that, next year, the RCMP will break Beet's eight-season division title streak. As a Canadian, I am constantly bewildered and frightened by the American preference for dynasties, be they political or otherwise. You wouldn't see Canadians electing someone just because they had a familiar name."

The media looked at DannoMack skeptically. "Hey, wait, the thing with Justin Trudeau is completely different. The only people in Canada who technically voted for Justin Trudeau were some guys in Quebec, I think Montreal, maybe? Canadians don't technically elect a Prime Minister, so we are still better than you when it comes to electoral politics." Someone asked about the Electoral College. "You guys still do that?" DannoMack asked. "Why? Okay, we're also better when it comes to not holding onto relics from the 18th century."

"But who cares about that. Right now, we have to deal with the Kernels. I won't lie. The Kernels are a good team. They have a Pujols more powerful than any Pujols the world has ever seen. They have created a deadball rotation that has been deadly. And they have the Masked Shortshop, who may be the most valuable player in the league when you consider his defense. Still, I have faith in my team. I believe in the Canadian values of tolerance, restraint, bundling up when it gets cold out, and I think they'll see us through."

A peal of lightning erupted through the room as the Masked Shortstop appeared in the catwalks, which had not been present just a moment prior, to respond to DannoMack, "Justice, like lightning, ever should appear, to few men's ruin, but all men's fear!" The Masked Shortstop intoned solemnly. "DannoMack, your villainy ends here! CFBalla and I both agree that the wildcard is an abomination that allows lesser teams to steal the opportunities of those who have earned their place in the playoffs. The Kernels have come too far to be eliminated by some team that couldn't even win their division."

"We almost won our division!" DannoMack protested. "Besides, if there's one thing that Canadians believe in, it's giving the downtrodden a chance to succeed. It's why Winnipeg is still allowed to exist, despite having failed at every conceivable level as a city."

The Masked Shortstop flipped down from the catwalks to confront DannoMack face to face. "If you wanted to reach the postseason, you should have played harder. Only a coward hides behind a wildcard."

"I carry within me the entire hopes of a nation, 40,000 Canadians are counting on me, I can't let them down." DannoMack said defensively. "And, quite frankly, if the Kernels are that much better, then they'll have no problem beating us in the next round."

"So be it." The Masked Shortstop managed to jump back into the catwalk, an impressive feat of athleticism, "Prepare yourself, DannoMack, for the Kernels carry within the blood of the Cardinals, and the Cardinals always win in the end. Always." Another bolt of lightning flashed through the room, and the Masked Shortstop was gone.

As for Monicro, he seemed to still be Monicro, "Oh, well, I guess we'll still be around for next season. I guess I need to find something to do to fill the time until next season. And guess what, next season, inky's going to be in the Super-League, and Monathin, and TheMcD! The number of anime fans in the Super-League is going through the roof, meaning that, soon, Smasher will have no choice but to lift his ban on anime. Hey, I think even HulkaMatt loves anime too. So, like, we're getting pretty close to a majority."

"That's going to be totes great! Think about it, when anime is legalized, we won't have to hide our love of quality Japanese animation just because old man Smasher thinks that it's lame and wrong. I mean, I asked Smasher what sort of cartoons he watched when he was my age, and he started talking about this show where MC Hammer had a pair of magical shoes that gave him superpowers. And then I asked what MC Hammer was, and Smasher got really angry at me, and I don't know why."

GAME NOTES

-Because they did start Cy Young in this game, the RCMP can use whatever starters they want in basically any order for the Kernels series.

-RCMP will also get Mariano Rivera and Lee Smith back for the next series, so that the grim specter of Billy Wagner facing Pujols with the game on the line never happens again.

-The RCMP got incredibly lucky that Eichhorn did close out the game in the ninth, because Babe Ruth, Tris Spreaker and Lou Gehrig had all been pulled for defensive replacements, and the RCMP would have been dead in the water had the game not ended when it did.

-Babe Ruth didn't have a great game against a left-handed starter. That would be more alarming if the Kernels had a single lefty they intended to use in their rotation.

Don May posted:

BOMBERS FAIL TO BOMB! BEAT COMMISSION 4-2 IN 10

Oklahoma City- If there ever was a game where home-field advantage meant everything, it was this one.

Both teams came into this game trusting Jonathan Papelbon to be their closer. And when the game reached extra innings, nothing loomed larger than the great Papelbon question, a huge shadow that hung over both teams. Neither mentholmoose nor Pash were under any illusions about what Papelbon would do if he entered the game. It would either be very good or very bad, and neither were all that eager to find out which one until it was absolutely necessary.

After nine innings, the score was tied 1-1, and both owners knew that the Papelbon time drew ever nearer. mentholmoose refused to give in to that despair, however, and trusted John Smoltz to pitch a third inning of relief. Smoltz started off well, retiring Johnny Bench on a pop out, but then Eddie Collins was able to draw a walk. Normally, that was not a problem, save for the fact that Joe Torre is hardly a defensive expert at catcher, and Collins was able to steal second and third bases on consecutive pitches. That put a runner on third with just one out, and contact machine Roger Connor at the plate. Smoltz did his best, but Connor hit a double, and the Commission took a 2-1 lead. To Smoltz' credit, he did get Pujols to line out for the second out of the inning, but mentholmoose decided he needed a fresh arm to face Big Oh, and reluctantly called for Papelbon. mentholmoose risked all by allowing Papelbon to enter the game with a runner on third and the powerful Big Oh at the plate, but the true tragedy of Papelbon is not that he is a terrible pitcher most of the time, it's that he is a very good pitcher some of the time. Papelbon got the strikeout, and the Bombers entered the bottom of the tenth down one run, with three outs left to tie or take the lead.

With mentholmoose having used his Papelbon in the top of the inning, as a matter of honor, Pash had no choice but to respond in kind with his own Papelbon. Joe Jackson opened up the inning with a soaring double that put the tying run in scoring position. Papelbon then immediately gave up the Commission's lead by allowing Eric Davis, in the game as a defensive replacement for Barry Bonds, to hit a double of his own, making it a 2-2 game, with the winning run on second, still with no outs. Joe Torre stood in next, but Papelbon easily retired him on a pop out, and Papelbon now had a choice. Ron Santo was due up next, and first base was open. Santo had not had a good regular season, but he still had plenty of pop in his bat, having hit 24 home runs, the most of any third baseman in Super-League XVII. Papelbon decided to pitch to Santo rather than set up the double play, and battled for the strikeout pitch after pitch, eventually working a full count. Papelbon could have let Santo take first now, since, after all, with only one out, a double play was still a viable option. But Papelbon wanted the strikeout, and fired a fastball over the plate. Santo saw it, timed it, and blasted it into the stands for the game-winning home run, sending the Bombers to the Smasher League Division Series yet again.

"The two-wildcard set up was a plot to stop the Bombers, I know that now." mentholmoose said after the game, "I mean, only one wildcard would mean that I wouldn't have to play this game, but with two wildcards, I have to burn a pitcher, and there's a chance that I might lose, which is just what they want." A reporter asked who 'they' was. "The neoliberal conspiracy." mentholmoose answered. "I can't prove anything, but I've been told by reliable sources that the request to institute the second wildcard was made by Jean-Claude Juncker himself. That's right, the Jean-Claude Juncker. The European Commission's handprints are all over this! Well, I'm not going to let the Bombers get taken down by European technocrats, not this time."

"Excuse me." Pash came into the room. "If I could have a moment of your time, I need you to sign off on this game report."

"What?" mentholmoose asked.

"It's standard procedure, I just need you to sign off on a few forms acknowledging that you defeated the Commission in an elimination game. Record-keeping is important, there are state laws to consider." Pash explained, as he put some forms in front of mentholmoose. "So, just sign here." He turn to the last page. "And date it, and initial each page."

mentholmoose stared at Pash hesitantly, but reluctantly took a pen from Pash's hand and started filling out the forms. "Okay, good. Now, for further verification, we just need a blood sample." Pash pulled out a blood collection kit.

"What?" mentholmoose asked.

"It's just for identification verification purposes, there's no reason to be alarmed." Pash insisted.

"You're not going to, you know, make clones of me with that blood, are you? Because I've been down that road before, and I'm not going to let it happen again!"

Pash sighed, and pulled out another form from his briefcase, "The state of Minnesota does not discriminate against the sincerely held religious beliefs of any person, no matter how ridiculous they may be. If for some reason, you have a moral objection to the state of Minnesota cloning you and sending your clones to work in the iron mines, then you'll need to fill out this form disallowing the use of your DNA to create indentured servants."

mentholmoose studied the form, "Wait, the state of Minnesota is cloning people to work in mines?"

"Most states do. Now, if you'll just sign the form." Pash noticed his hand was melting. "I thought I had more time." Pash said calmly.

"Your hand?" mentholmoose was considerably more alarmed.

"Yes, clone degeneration. Minnesota switched to an all-clone bureaucracy six years ago, it was more cost-effective." Pash slumped to the floor as his legs began to disintegrate. "I'll be with Bureaucratus soon, I suppose. But, I would appreciate it if you would sign those forms before I go. Bureaucratus does not look kindly on clones that don't get all of the required signatures."

"You're melting!" mentholmoose was more than a bit concerned.

"Oh, I'm aware." Pash explained. "I'm not the first Pash. Actually, I'm not entirely sure how many of us there have been. They stopped giving us numbers a while ago, said it was bad for morale. Don't worry about that, the Commission will have the new Pash ready for next season. So, if you wouldn't mind signing...those..." Pash's body entered its final stage of decay, and soon was little more than a puddle on the floor next to mentholmoose.

mentholmoose stood quietly for a few moments, before solemny signing the forms, and then putting them in the molten Pash's briefcase and closing it. "It's the least I could do." mentholmoose explained.

GAME NOTES

-With the Bombers now slated to face their divisional arch-rivals, the Chicago Southpaws, in the Smasher League Division Series, Southpaws' owner was asked for his thoughts on the series. "Haven't I killed the Bombers enough already?" Pander asked. "I mean, I'm not a bad guy, and I'm pretty sure that I've done so much damage to mentholmoose's psyche that he's about one more loss to the Southpaws away from getting sent to the asylum. And it's not like the Bombers have a chance in hell of beating the Southpaws. We played the Bombers 18 times this season, and went 14-4. And that was with an even home/road split. In this series, the Bombers have to win at least one game at the Leftorium to advance, and that's not going to happen. It just can't. I feel bad for the Bombers, they did well to get as far as they did, but it's over for them now, they will not win another game this season. It's the Southpaws' world, and every other team is just living in it."

-Eddie Collins stole three games off Joe Torre, which is mildly alarming given that the projected leadoff hitter for the Chicago Southpaws is also Eddie Collins, and that the Southpaws are one of the speedier teams in the league in general.

-Johnny Bench, on the other team, caught two would-be base stealers.

-One question for the Bombers in their series with the Southpaws is what to do with John McGraw, a left-handed hitter who is not much in the field. Against the Southpaws' all-left handed pitching staff, many have called for McGraw to be benched in favor of the right-handed Jimmie Foxx.

CFBalla posted:

Also when the hell did the RCMP get a Babe Ruth? God drat you, rest of the league. Stop trading superstars for filler pieces!!! (note: may not be the case, but I don't care)

TheMcD posted:

Well you might not care, but I went back to find the trade anyway, so here it is:

To RCMP
1919 Babe Ruth
1902 Joe McGinnity

To The Russian Llamas:
1919 Ty Cobb
1902 Cy Young
2009 Mariano Rivera
1967 Hank Aaron

Hardly filler pieces.

Monicro posted:

Traaaaaaaaades

Slaughterhouse Nine Receive:

1942 Bobby Doerr

Aperture Scientists Receive:

1934 Billy Herman
PTBNL (If the Scientists survive)

CraigK posted:

accepted.

put herman on the bench in doerrs spot