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holy poo poo that guys voice is amazing; its like valium and bob ross had a baby. when he was talking about the threat of isis i couldnt stop smiling |
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Nov 17, 2015 00:25
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| # ? Apr 28, 2024 20:38 |
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The gop ai knows where you live. Do you require...protection? *loads gun shaped bong* |
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Nov 17, 2015 00:36
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i have filed a patent for a six chamber revolver weed pipe. five out of six chambers contain sound clips of gop candidates. the hammer is a lighter and the trigger strikes the flint. either way you win bc the gop gets to feel the bern
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Nov 17, 2015 00:40
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bacalou posted:i have filed a patent for a six chamber revolver weed pipe. five out of six chambers contain sound clips of gop candidates. the hammer is a lighter and the trigger strikes the flint. either way you win bc the gop gets to feel the bern Can I print that out with my buddy's 3d printer? We'll probably smoke a lot of weed while we wait for it to print out. |
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Nov 17, 2015 00:41
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no im sorry all of my pipes are 100% organic lead
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Nov 17, 2015 00:43
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bacalou posted:no im sorry all of my pipes are 100% organic lead I imagine that's a lawsuit waiting to happen |
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Nov 17, 2015 00:43
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bacalou posted:no im sorry all of my pipes are 100% organic lead its interesting that you said organic lead. there's actually such a classification, with inorganic leads being less bio-active. Like tetraethyl lead and tetramethyl lead. but you can't make a pipe out of any of them, because they're gases. |
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Nov 17, 2015 01:30
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joke_explainer posted:its interesting that you said organic lead. there's actually such a classification, with inorganic leads being less bio-active. Like tetraethyl lead and tetramethyl lead. but you can't make a pipe out of any of them, because they're gases. But what if you could |
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Nov 17, 2015 01:32
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i had no idea ben carson was a robot.i may have to change my vote to him next year |
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Nov 17, 2015 02:25
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someone needs to update his eye hydration software because he blinks way too often
paul_soccer12 posted:everyone in the idf must die |
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Nov 17, 2015 02:25
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Afro Doug posted:i had no idea ben carson was a robot.i may have to change my vote to him next year robot ben carson: as a young robot i almost STABbed a man, which wikipedia says could stand for "store to accumulator b", which is evidently a computer thing |
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Nov 17, 2015 02:52
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Afro Doug posted:i had no idea ben carson was a robot.i may have to change my vote to him next year Lol |
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Nov 17, 2015 03:46
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mister magpie posted:someone needs to update his eye hydration software because he blinks way too often it's clear that he is struggling to stay awake after pounding like a bottle(s) of prescription painkillers. getting ALL hosed up on mannatech glyconutrients. it's an open secret in the neurosurgeon community |
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Nov 17, 2015 04:25
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dogcrash truther posted:Its like valium and bob ross had a baby.
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Nov 17, 2015 04:29
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Afro Doug posted:i had no idea ben carson was a robot.i may have to change my vote to him next year ---------------- |
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Nov 17, 2015 06:37
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you have a landline o.O |
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Nov 17, 2015 06:56
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20th century DCT mind: ah, the telephone. that modren miracle. that exemplar of our futuristic age. i own it, and it's good for talking. i communicate the world over from anywhere within 6 feet of this spot in the kitchen. 21 century DCT mind: ahuuuurrrrr ya, da man cawed me on the winging wall bump |
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Nov 17, 2015 06:57
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hamburger posted:it's clear that he is struggling to stay awake after pounding like a bottle(s) of prescription painkillers. getting ALL hosed up on mannatech glyconutrients. it's an open secret in the neurosurgeon community psychiatrists are in the profession because they have sadbrains pharmacists have hidden addictions neurosurgeons engage in auto-trepanning |
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Nov 17, 2015 09:07
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pig slut lisa posted:20th century DCT mind: ah, the telephone. that modren miracle. that exemplar of our futuristic age. i own it, and it's good for talking. i communicate the world over from anywhere within 6 feet of this spot in the kitchen. |
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Nov 17, 2015 13:11
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pig slut lisa posted:20th century DCT mind: ah, the telephone. that modren miracle. that exemplar of our futuristic age. i own it, and it's good for talking. i communicate the world over from anywhere within 6 feet of this spot in the kitchen. loll |
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Nov 17, 2015 14:47
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pig slut lisa posted:20th century DCT mind: ah, the telephone. that modren miracle. that exemplar of our futuristic age. i own it, and it's good for talking. i communicate the world over from anywhere within 6 feet of this spot in the kitchen. I have a land line because A) it's the only way to get high-speed internet for a reasonable price where I am, and B) cell phones suck. Land line phones never drop out or hang up unexpectedly, land line phones have perfectly clear audio, and land line phones are designed to fit a human head. If they could design a cell phone that worked correctly for its primary intended purpose, I wouldn't mind them so much. Just because a technology is newer doesn't make it better. Sheesh! Kids these days.
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Nov 17, 2015 15:15
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i have a landline because i need one for the alarm system so when someone breaks into my house and tries to murder me the alarm system calls the alarm company on the landline who calls me back on my landline to ask if everything's ok and then calls the police who refuse to come out because funding was cut and they had to respond to too many false alarms it helps me sleep better at night
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Nov 17, 2015 16:22
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Robot Made of Meat posted:If they could design a cell phone that worked correctly for its primary intended purpose, I wouldn't mind them so much. sorry dad, but the "primary intended purpose" of a cell phone is not calling. ---------------- |
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Nov 17, 2015 18:27
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me, in the car: dang, my call dropped when I went through that tunnel. this never would have happened if I was using a landline! |
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Nov 17, 2015 18:54
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google THIS posted:me, in the car: dang, my call dropped when I went through that tunnel. this never would have happened if I was using a landline! i get the joke, but you're into a cool idea: what if you used, say, microwave band radio waves to relay the signal between your phone line and your handset? of course to cover a lot of area you'd need to put up multiple antennae and then have some sort of system for determining which area or "cell" the handset was in to decide which antenna to use... and it'd be expensive so probably best to pool with a bunch of other people and set up multiplexing to handle simultaneous calls i think we're onto something |
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Nov 17, 2015 19:09
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alnilam posted:i get the joke, but you're into a cool idea: what if you used, say, microwave band radio waves to relay the signal between your phone line and your handset? of course to cover a lot of area you'd need to put up multiple antennae and then have some sort of system for determining which area or "cell" the handset was in to decide which antenna to use... and it'd be expensive so probably best to pool with a bunch of other people and set up multiplexing to handle simultaneous calls idk, doesnt seem feasible
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Nov 17, 2015 19:10
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google THIS posted:me, in the car: dang, my call dropped when I went through that tunnel. this never would have happened if I was using a landline! Number of traffic accidents involving cell-phone use in 2013: 1.3 million Number of traffic accidents involving land-line use in 2013: 0.
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Nov 17, 2015 22:39
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Robot Made of Meat posted:Number of traffic accidents involving cell-phone use in 2013: 1.3 million Legalize landlines! |
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Nov 17, 2015 22:49
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Cell phone users: bike to grocery store, bus to work. Socially conscious consumers. Volunteer on weekends. Love to scratch dogs behind their ears. Marvel at the unburdened laughter of a baby. Generous tippers. Landline users: Old Buicks belching black exhaust. Athlete's foot. Resentful of artists. Cheat at bridge. Never give spare change to homeless people. Feud with neighbors over chrysanthemum upkeep. |
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Nov 17, 2015 22:50
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pig slut lisa posted:Cell phone users: bike to grocery store, bus to work. Socially conscious consumers. Volunteer on weekends. Love to scratch dogs behind their ears. Marvel at the unburdened laughter of a baby. Generous tippers. |
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Nov 17, 2015 23:32
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pig slut lisa posted:Cell phone users: bike to grocery store on the sidewalk while talking on phone, bus to work while obsessively texting about something nobody in their right mind could possibly care about. Socially conscious consumers who've driven countless Foxconn workers to suicide. Too busy playing with phones to notice weekends. Love to text about scratching dogs behind their ears. Ignore baby because they're on the drat phone. Completely ignore waitstaff and dinner companions because they're texting.
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Nov 18, 2015 00:17
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I got the robocall on my cell |
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Nov 18, 2015 00:24
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Just one robot calling another. Nbd |
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Nov 18, 2015 00:25
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dogcrash truther posted:holy poo poo that guys voice is amazing; its like valium and bob ross had a baby. when he was talking about the threat of isis i couldnt stop smiling Hes gonna beat the devil out of ISIS with the same hammer he tried to smash his mom's brains in with. ---------------- |
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Nov 18, 2015 00:31
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dogcrash truther posted:I got the robocall on my cell that's illegal without your express consent |
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Nov 18, 2015 00:55
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meteloides posted:psychiatrists are in the profession because they have sadbrains oncologists are trying to cure their own cancer obstetricians start studying the field so they can deliver their own baby |
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Nov 18, 2015 00:57
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pig slut lisa posted:that's illegal without your express consent unfortunately in the video crowd interview outside the RNC, DCT jumped in front of the camera, ripped his shirt off and yelled HEY BEN CARSON, YOU CAN ROBOCALL ME ANYTIME BABY! and they've used that as an indicator of consent. |
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Nov 18, 2015 00:58
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ben carson needs a landline because he doesn't get reception outside of the box |
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Nov 18, 2015 01:10
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joke_explainer posted:its interesting that you said organic lead. there's actually such a classification, with inorganic leads being less bio-active. Like tetraethyl lead and tetramethyl lead. but you can't make a pipe out of any of them, because they're gases. Sounds like you could smoke them in a pipe, though |
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Nov 18, 2015 02:07
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| # ? Apr 28, 2024 20:38 |
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a joke is told near Carson. he twitches and then goes expressionless ERROR carsonHumanity.class line 34: access laugh.class FILE NOT FOUND paul_soccer12 posted:everyone in the idf must die |
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Nov 18, 2015 04:51
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