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"It bees poppin'? In my mouth?!?" Six-year-old having the concept of Pop-Rocks explained to him.
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Nov 12, 2015 06:30
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My niece is obsessed with saying poopoo lately. "Hey, do you like broccoli?" "I like poopoo." "Is that a picture you drew?" "It's a poopoo." "Say TA-DA!" "POOPOO TA-DA!" She also did a puzzle whilst singing a song. Can you guess what the lyrics were?
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Nov 21, 2015 00:16
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Probably the same when I was that age, and would belch the "BA" syllable during "La Bamba"
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Nov 21, 2015 01:27
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Lalalalalala BUMba Spaghetti meatballs and big banana (Gesture to rude bits in time to drive home the subtle innuendo)
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Nov 21, 2015 13:01
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I asked my son what he wanted for Christmas tonight and he said "I want star wars toys and star wars legos. All the star wars toys need to be good guys and all the star wars legos need to be bad guys. If you get me anakon skywalker he needs to be a toy but darth vader needs to be a lego. Also i want star wars playdough so i can make star wars things. Or not star wars things"
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Nov 26, 2015 07:06
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I asked my nephews and nieces what they wanted for Christmas. My 12 year old nephew wants "cool clothes" and a hat (did not specify what kind of hat). My 10 year old nephew wants Star Wars stuff, especially guns and "a real X wing fighter to fly to school". The 8 year old niece wants nursing stuff (I'm a nurse and bought her a stethoscope and small first aid kit last year. She apparently listens to the dog's heart and stomach all the time). And my 7 year old niece wants a "puzzle of the entire universe" and a trip to Japan. The boys also want a sports car for their dad. And everyone wants a trip to Disney World. 
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Nov 26, 2015 07:36
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LoveMeDead posted:My 12 year old nephew wants "cool clothes" and a hat (did not specify what kind of hat). So a fedora, black and flames button-up shirt, cargo jorts, and, uh, socks with sandals?
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Nov 26, 2015 08:28
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The Orange Mage posted:So a fedora, black and flames button-up shirt, cargo jorts, and, uh, socks with sandals? Yes! We should get him started early. Is there an MRA handbook I could get him?
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Nov 26, 2015 08:50
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4 year old--"MOM! C'mere! My pants are pretending to be my shirt, and I'm stuck!" Putting on his pajamas...
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Nov 27, 2015 03:18
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I had Thanksgiving dinner with my boyfriend's family, which was the first time I've done a holiday with them. In the middle of dinner, apropos of absolutely nothing, his 4-year-old niece looked at him and said "You have a GIRLFRIEND!" in her best gossipy preteen voice, then broke down in giggles.
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Nov 28, 2015 06:16
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My 4-year-old asked me to change a song that came on the radio, one she always liked but suddenly decided she's heard too many times... I put on a fake sad voice and said, "Aww, but I like that one". She grinned and stuck her chin out (her signal that a smarty-pants reply is about to be delivered) : "Yeah, but that's because you're actually a loser."
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Nov 30, 2015 18:59
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PXJ800 posted:She grinned and stuck her chin out 
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Nov 30, 2015 22:57
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My 2 year old niece went to disneyworld recently and was very happy to see all the characters walking around. While not at disneyworld, they walked by a very short man. Niece gets excited and says, loudly, "HI HO, HI HO!"
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Nov 30, 2015 23:25
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This was years ago at my friends house. Friend's Little Brother - "Not My Leg, guess what I'm going to be when I grow up." Me - "What?" Brother - "An oil tanker!" Me - "I don't think..." Brother - "WAIT! Or a penguin." Also, the same kid had a stuffed teddy bear named Snowball. He would tie a string around it and hang it from his bunk bed and call it "Hangin Noball."
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Dec 1, 2015 00:12
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I sent my six year old boy off to get his PJs on before storytime. He comes into my room a few minutes later, bareass naked, and said that he's scared because he was imagining an invisible witch that gives you a shot that stops your heart from beating. While my first reaction was to tell him that of course it's not real and not to be silly... on further review that's pretty f*cked up  On the plus side after we settled him down and ready stories he hugged me and said, "Dad, you are in my heart." 
TKIY has a new favorite as of 03:22 on Dec 2, 2015 |
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Dec 2, 2015 03:19
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I was laying down on the floor acting as the "Daddy Playground" that my son seems to love. First he stepped on my balls, and while I grabbed them and howled in pain he ran over and sat on my face. Good kid. 18 months and already tea bagging dudes
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Dec 2, 2015 17:18
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In my then-3-year-old daughter's preschool, they were going over what to do in an emergency. So the teacher asked the kids "Does anyone know what an earthquake is?" My daughter raised her hand. "A meteor comes from the Moon and crashes into the Earth and the ground shakes and all the dinosaurs die and turn into skeletons!"
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Dec 2, 2015 17:46
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My son always draws things out to their worst possible scenario. Which seems odd for a 3 year old. "If I stand up on the chair, I will fall and get a big owie on my head and we will call 911 and get in an ambulance and go to the ER and the doctor can't fix it and I will NOT get a birthday party."  Yeah bud, how about we just sit down then?
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Dec 2, 2015 18:12
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My wife and I had our kids at the zoo this past weekend. We were walking along having a good old time and then we hear another child nearby ask "Can we go see the armadildos now?" We had to very quickly scurry into the nearby lizard house because we were laughing so hard.
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Dec 10, 2015 05:08
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A friend of mine is a pastor and today posted on Facebook that a 3 year old from his church has taken to calling him "Pastor Underpants". I think that's awesome.
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Dec 10, 2015 17:49
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There seems to be an awful lot of people in this thread who named their dog 'Belle'. That was my first dog's name when I was young. good stories everyone.
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Dec 10, 2015 21:38
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Watching Planet Earth with my daughter, there's a part about birds of paradise and their mating displays. After a while she turns to me and asks, mildly concerned, "you don't dance! how will you attract a mate?"
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Dec 10, 2015 22:46
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I have an 18mo daughter, and she started talking very early. She's basically speaking very clear sentences at this point and amazes every person she meets. The only things that stump her are words over 4 syllables. At any rate, I love watching her learn and the other day we had this exchange: (There are 3 cows on her yogurt container) Baby: Cow mommy! Cow! Moo! Me: Yup that's a cow!! baby: Kiss the cow?? *kisses it* baby: Kiss the cow, too? *kisses 2nd cow* baby: *pauses* baby: Kiss the cow, too, too?? *kisses 3rd cow*
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Dec 10, 2015 23:07
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Me: ... and someday, if [Aunt] gets married, she might have a baby too, and then you'd have another cousin! Well, technically, she wouldn't have to get married, either. You know, some people don't. 10yo: *confused look* 10yo: *lightbulb* 10yo: OH YEAH! She could adopt a baby! He knows what sex is, and how babies are made, but still isn't quite making those connections yet. Or possibly he just thinks sex is so gross that no one but married people would ever do it, and then only to have babies.
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Dec 11, 2015 00:02
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pookel posted:Or possibly he just thinks sex is so gross that no one but married people would ever do it, and then only to have babies. 
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Dec 11, 2015 01:20
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I remember going through that phase when I was a kid. I had to go through an elaborate "ewwww! You're kissing!" show every time my parents kissed, and the idea of sex was just icky beyond comprehension. Then I grew up.
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Dec 11, 2015 01:39
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I'm a Montessori teacher. I have a book I keep, that gets written in daily with hilarious quotes from the children. We are learning Languages this month, just the basics in as many languages as we can by having parents come in and tell us about their culture. Another teacher was explaining how different cultures speak different languages, and as an example asked the kids "Does anyone know where Dora the Explorer is from? A 4 year old pipes up: "Nickelodeon!"
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Dec 11, 2015 01:48
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pepsigloworm posted:I'm a Montessori teacher. I have a book I keep, that gets written in daily with hilarious quotes from the children. It's not wrong! (No, my kid isn't Catholic - he's basically an atheist like me, although I haven't pushed it on him and he's learned a bit about what different religions believe. He's just hitting that age where everything is embarrassing.)
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Dec 11, 2015 02:21
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For reference: I'm an American Expat working on obtaining my Irish citizenship, my husband is Irish, our 2 year old is Irish born. My husband cusses liberally under his breath even if he tries to be subtle about, which has resulted in our kid yelling "FECK OFF, Hoban!" at the dog, or "Come on t'gently caress, mum!" if I'm taking too long to get his tea ready. Yesterday I was changing his nappy and the following exchange took place: Him: That's my PENIS, mum! Me: Yup, that's your penis. Him: (waving his fingers at me) These my HAND PENIS! It is incredibly difficult to keep a straight face and correct him instead of laughing, to be quite honest. *edit to fix you're to your Lucha Luch has a new favorite as of 21:43 on Dec 17, 2015 |
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Dec 13, 2015 22:07
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pookel posted:It's not wrong! Technically correct is the best kind of correct.
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Dec 17, 2015 17:38
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Madra De Dhia posted:For reference: I'm an American Expat working on obtaining my Irish citizenship, my husband is Irish, our 2 year old is Irish born. My husband cusses liberally under his breath even if he tries to be subtle about, which has resulted in our kid yelling "FECK OFF, Hoban!" at the dog, or "Come on t'gently caress, mum!" if I'm taking too long to get his tea ready. Sounds like a proper Irish lad
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Dec 17, 2015 18:13
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Arx Monolith posted:Technically correct is the best kind of correct. Me: "Technically, if you had a ton, you'd have 2,000 pounds of it." 8yo: *grins and giggles at me* 10yo, glaring at both of us: "Why do you have to be so TECHNICAL all the time?" From a Facebook friend: quote:Me: Jane, are you going to eat your oranges? pookel has a new favorite as of 21:14 on Dec 17, 2015 |
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Dec 17, 2015 20:36
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Somehow, Preston is the perfect name for an orange.
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Dec 17, 2015 21:35
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Bertrand Hustle posted:Sounds like a proper Irish lad He sounds like a future member of the Think Tank.
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Dec 18, 2015 09:49
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Happened to me at work: Me: Are you ready for Santa? Little 3 or 4 year old kid: *runs to my side of the counter and whispers* Actually Santa is really my daddy but DON'T tell the babies!
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Dec 18, 2015 18:34
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Ruzihm posted:like this? Yep, just with chubby little cheeks. She came home with this artwork from preschool the other day:  I wasn't quite sure if it was indeed supposed to be a self portrait framed by a butternut squash, but I hung it on the fridge with pride. Her older sister immediately asked her, "What's that?" with a tone that said, "No matter what your answer is, I'm going to mock it." She looked down, sighed deeply, and with all the gravitas she could muster said, "That's... my hideous face."
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Dec 18, 2015 18:41
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As a child I was allowed to name my pets and toys, but in typical under-five fashion I named them after what I saw. One of the chickens was Blackie, a stuffed toy dog was Sweater, and a wooden parrot I carried all over was Brochure. I also had a stuffed monkey I named Klingon because he clung on to things. Oh and I think the blankie was Yellow Friend, because of the yellow. When I was like three my mom told me brussels sprouts would scream if I poked them with a fork. She thought it was funny as hell. Naturally I told that to her friend's two daughters and they also refused to eat brussels. My mom's friend was pissed. My friend's brother used to yell, "A gently caress! A gently caress! A fire gently caress!" when he heard sirens. Scathach has a new favorite as of 04:16 on Dec 19, 2015 |
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Dec 19, 2015 04:00
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Admiral Bosch posted:There seems to be an awful lot of people in this thread who named their dog 'Belle'. That was my first dog's name when I was young. "Belle" is my Great Dane. This was my nephew's first word.
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Dec 19, 2015 04:39
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Scathach posted:As a child I was allowed to name my pets and toys, but in typical under-five fashion I named them after what I saw. One of the chickens was Blackie, a stuffed toy dog was Sweater, and a wooden parrot I carried all over was Brochure. I also had a stuffed monkey I named Klingon because he clung on to things. Oh and I think the blankie was Yellow Friend, because of the yellow. When I was around six, I very matter-of-factly told my older sister that the square piece of cloth on the backs of our t-shirts were called "Simpsons".
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Dec 19, 2015 05:56
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"Let the children name the dog" is why I had a poodle for 10 years named Mini-me.
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Dec 19, 2015 06:14
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