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  • Locked thread
MonoAus
Nov 5, 2012
I'm kind of confused why there has be a named group for 'cubers' instead of 'nerds who like to do puzzles or something'.

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BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

hyperhazard posted:

I hesitate to ask, but what the hell is a WR?

Also, the fact that "cubing" is a thing that exists...:suicide:

I teach Middle School in Korea, and pretty much all of the 3rd year boys have a rubiks cube, or cheap knock off, and constantly fiddle with them.

I haven't seen any of the girls with one, nor have I seen any of them swoon over one of the boys 'mad cubing skilzz'.

ibntumart
Mar 18, 2007

Good, bad. I'm the one with the power of Shu, Heru, Amon, Zehuti, Aton, and Mehen.
College Slice
This is just some kind of joke you're all adding poo poo to, right? I refuse to believe in a cuber subculture.

Na'at
May 5, 2003

You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star
Lipstick Apathy

ibntumart posted:

This is just some kind of joke you're all adding poo poo to, right? I refuse to believe in a cuber subculture.

$10 says it's real and it's terrible

CROWS EVERYWHERE
Dec 17, 2012

CAW CAW CAW

Dinosaur Gum

MonoAus posted:

I'm kind of confused why there has be a named group for 'cubers' instead of 'nerds who like to do puzzles or something'.

Everyone wants to be the best in their field at something or have a unique talent. But with 7 billion+ people alive right now and the internet allowing you to be in contact with way more people than your monkey brain can handle, you have to keep specialising further and further and further to be the best or even just in the top ranking of [whatever]. It's like in the Everest thread where people have to keep adding more and more qualifiers to their achievement to make it sound like a big challenge. It's been done so many times now that you can't easily be the youngest person to summit Everest, you have to be the youngest woman to summit, then the youngest non-Sherpa woman to summit, then the youngest Australian non-Sherpa woman to summit, and so on and so forth. It is the age of the specialist. You have to carve out an ever more particular niche or you just won't stand out.

That or they want to gently caress cubes made of smaller cubes, IDK

kimbo305
Jun 9, 2007

actually, yeah, I am a little mad

ibntumart posted:

This is just some kind of joke you're all adding poo poo to, right? I refuse to believe in a cuber subculture.

It's mostly around the techniques and the gear. There's increasingly more sophisticated moves to solve the cube from more complex stated. And of course there's a ton of options for building a "speed cubing" cube.
When that guy said Gans, I'm sure it's some prescribed build of a cube.

I was taught how to do it in high school by this really gung ho guy who spoke of getting into the zone and being in a "cubing high." I'll bet that's still part of the culture.

Khazar-khum
Oct 22, 2008

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
2nd Battalion
And now back to our regularly scheduled STDH:

After a long while, Cybele can add another to her list—just the other day, she and her friends (CJ, Brian, Bill, and CJ's girlfriend Samantha all went to see Bruce Campbell's newest movie, My Name Is Bruce. After the movie was over, who showed up for Q & A? The man himself, Bruce! I was the last person to ask a question—"Weren't you Magnanimous from Megas XLR? The little chicken nugget looking robot thing?" (Yes, I really asked that question, verbatim.) Once Campbell started to leave, I followed him out to the lobby and got stopped by an usher who asked me, "Hey you're that 'dream girl', right?" I nodded and he let me through to see Campbell. My friend Brian followed close behind me and we all laughed and Hilarity Ensues when I pretty much super-hugged Bruce (not quite a glomp but drat close) and I was very close to tears because it was one of my childhood dreams to meet him. Brian and I both got a hug, a handshake, and autographs, which pretty much made our friggin week. I couldn't make this up even if I tried.

walrusman
Aug 4, 2006

I know most of the individual words being used here, but...

Postal Parcel
Aug 2, 2013

Khazar-khum posted:

And now back to our regularly scheduled STDH:

After a long while, Cybele can add another to her list—just the other day, she and her friends (CJ, Brian, Bill, and CJ's girlfriend Samantha all went to see Bruce Campbell's newest movie, My Name Is Bruce. After the movie was over, who showed up for Q & A? The man himself, Bruce! I was the last person to ask a question—"Weren't you Magnanimous from Megas XLR? The little chicken nugget looking robot thing?" (Yes, I really asked that question, verbatim.) Once Campbell started to leave, I followed him out to the lobby and got stopped by an usher who asked me, "Hey you're that 'dream girl', right?" I nodded and he let me through to see Campbell. My friend Brian followed close behind me and we all laughed and Hilarity Ensues when I pretty much super-hugged Bruce (not quite a glomp but drat close) and I was very close to tears because it was one of my childhood dreams to meet him. Brian and I both got a hug, a handshake, and autographs, which pretty much made our friggin week. I couldn't make this up even if I tried.
Sure you couldn't

And she(?) didn't say whether or not Campbell answered her question.
e: Actually, I have more questions. What is this 'dream girl' and why would a bouncer let this insane person near Campbell, unless he wanted Campbell dead.

Paladinus
Jan 11, 2014

heyHEYYYY!!!

Jay Rust posted:

I think the phrase "Needless to say" should be banned from English

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxZ5AKDvyfU&t=30s

Lady Naga
Apr 25, 2008

Voyons Donc!

Postal Parcel posted:

Sure you couldn't

And she(?) didn't say whether or not Campbell answered her question.
e: Actually, I have more questions. What is this 'dream girl' and why would a bouncer let this insane person near Campbell, unless he wanted Campbell dead.

Knowing Bruce Campbell solely (or primarily) from a Cartoon Network fauxnime is pretty gauche as gently caress too.

hyperhazard
Dec 4, 2011

I am the one lascivious
With magic potion niveous

Lady Naga posted:

Knowing Bruce Campbell solely (or primarily) from a Cartoon Network fauxnime is pretty gauche as gently caress too.

I'm not like those *other* fans. I know you from some obscure role you don't give two shits about.

GOTTA STAY FAI
Mar 24, 2005

~no glitter in the gutter~
~no twilight galaxy~
College Slice
I feel so bad for Bruce Campbell because you know everywhere he goes he's mobbed by socially-awkward goony fucks with poor hygiene and a tenuous (at best) understanding of the concepts of "personal space" and "acceptable behavior in public"

Henchman of Santa
Aug 21, 2010
I like how her awesome last question was something you could look up on IMDb. Nothing deeper than "didn't you play this character?" Like a Chris Farley interview.

Shangri-Law School
Feb 19, 2013

Fans are always asking "questions" that are just "Remember when you did this?" It's very annoying.

ibntumart
Mar 18, 2007

Good, bad. I'm the one with the power of Shu, Heru, Amon, Zehuti, Aton, and Mehen.
College Slice

GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

I feel so bad for Bruce Campbell because you know everywhere he goes he's mobbed by socially-awkward goony fucks with poor hygiene and a tenuous (at best) understanding of the concepts of "personal space" and "acceptable behavior in public"

Don't. He has people shielding him from people like in that STDH. He also seems to have no patience for lovely questions like "What was your favorite role?" or "Hey I liked you in X, affirm that I am cool for liking that show" (based solely on the one time I saw him at a Q&A). Campbell has the uncomfortable fan situation under control.

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
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GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

I feel so bad for Bruce Campbell because you know everywhere he goes he's mobbed by socially-awkward goony fucks with poor hygiene and a tenuous (at best) understanding of the concepts of "personal space" and "acceptable behavior in public"

I didn't notice any of those people when I asked for his autograph in an airport bathroom

EmmyOk
Aug 11, 2013

Possibly this did happen but if it did the the silence was almost certainly awkwardness and not awe.

goose willis
Jun 14, 2015

Get ready for teh wacky laughz0r!
The only good solipsism is militant solipsism

yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar
Another one where the writer doesn't realize how awkward/unrealistic their time lengths are. Who stays silent for a solid 5 minutes during what was presumably a conversation before that point? Wouldn't he be asking if she's alright, or change the subject or something? Or were they just staring at each other silently for the whole time?

Even if he actually said that line I don't believe it was an "accident", he probably spent weeks thinking of the perfect magic phrase to get him out of the "friend zone".

DJ Fuckboy Supreme
Feb 10, 2011

And when you stare long into the abyss, you become aggressively, terminally chill

''I accidentally told my friend the sweetest pick up line ever and she was so speechless she never spoke to me again''

Boywhiz88
Sep 11, 2005

floating 26" off da ground. BURR!
I feel like I've seen a similar line to that earlier in the thread but I'm not wadig through all that poo poo. Even if it didn't happen.

VoteTedJameson
Jan 10, 2014

And stack the four!

Murphy Brownback posted:

Another one where the writer doesn't realize how awkward/unrealistic their time lengths are. Who stays silent for a solid 5 minutes during what was presumably a conversation before that point? Wouldn't he be asking if she's alright, or change the subject or something? Or were they just staring at each other silently for the whole time?

Some times when people in stdh stories use unrealistic measures of time like "a good 5 minutes" or what have you, I kind of reckon it in my head in terms of household tasks you could get done in that space of time. For this story it occurred to me that he could have said that lovely solipsism line, then she could have gotten up (in silence, cause speechless) and made 2 bags of microwave popcorn, come back and sat down again without exceeding the time frame.

sweeperbravo
May 18, 2012

AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)
The dude grins and breathes heavily, licking and smacking his lips at her, as minutes elapse, not realizing the girls' stunned silence is because she's having one of her spells again

Zaphod42
Sep 13, 2012

If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.

EmmyOk posted:

A valiant attempt to be the most retarded person in this thread.



WTF is a 'Gans' ?

kimbo305 posted:

When that guy said Gans, I'm sure it's some prescribed build of a cube.

I was taught how to do it in high school by this really gung ho guy who spoke of getting into the zone and being in a "cubing high." I'll bet that's still part of the culture.

A friend of mine in high school got really into speed cubing, but I never heard any of this 'cuber', 'gans' poo poo. And he was also hardcore christian so his parents probably didn't let him have as much fun :cheeky:

Postal Parcel
Aug 2, 2013

Boywhiz88 posted:

I feel like I've seen a similar line to that earlier in the thread but I'm not wadig through all that poo poo. Even if it didn't happen.

It was, there a quite a few reposts, but who's complaining.

Anyway, I feel like we haven't had a good NAR posting in a while, so please excuse me while I indulge in some barrel shooting

quote:

You Are Sew Lying
Fabric Store | Australia | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money, Technology

(I’m 19, but I look at lot younger than what I am so people often mistake me for being school-aged when I work on the weekend. On this particular Saturday I’m working at the counter with my middle-aged coworker. I see a couple deliberately letting people past them in the line, clearly making sure I’m the one that serves them.)

Me: “Hello! How can I help you today?”

Man: “I want to return my wife’s sewing machine.”

(He places an open sewing machine box on the counter.)

Me: “Ok, sir; was there a problem with it?”

Man: “No—”

Woman: “Yes—”

(The man glares at his wife before continuing.)

Man: “No, we just changed our mind.”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, but we only do change-of-mind refunds for sewing machines that haven’t been opened.”

Man: “But it was open when we bought it!”

(I’d been working at this store for a while and knew all the policies; there was no fooling me.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but that’s not possible. All sewing machines are sealed with security tape when they are purchased to prevent theft. You wouldn’t have been allowed to leave the store with an open box like that. I’m afraid I cannot refund you.”

(The man grumbles, and the woman decides to chime in.)

Woman: “I did open it! I tried to use the machine but it was broken! I want a refund!”

(Despite the fact that they just changed their story, I decide to follow company policy and treat the machine as if it was indeed ‘faulty.’ We are encouraged to test all machines that customers claim are broken, mostly because the majority of the time the customers aren’t using it correctly, or there’s a really small problem that we can fix ourselves without having to send it away under warranty.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, I’ll just have to test the machine to see if I can fix the problem myself. Most of the time we don’t have to send it back to the manufacturer.”

(I remove the machine from the packaging and set it up. I’ve been sewing for years so I know exactly what I’m doing, and I can see the woman getting increasingly panicked as I thread up the machine and find some fabric to test it with. I try all of the functions and they work perfectly.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, it seems your machine is fine after all. Are you sure you set it up correctly?”

Woman: “Yes, I did exactly what you did, but it didn’t work! I want a refund!”

(Even though I’m allowed to turn them away, I can see the machine is still brand new so I go and talk to my manager about giving a refund. She says not to give them any money back, instead they can exchange it for a more expensive machine and pay the difference. The couple don’t take this news so well.)

Man: “Bull-s***! You have to refund us! It’s the law!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but Australian consumer law requires we refund you only if the product is faulty, wrongly described or doesn’t do what it’s supposed to. We have established that the sewing machine sews perfectly and looks exactly the same as the photo on the box, so I do not have to offer you a refund or exchange at all. I am, however, willing to let you exchange it for another machine of equal or higher value.”

(All of a sudden the couple turns to look each other and starts arguing in a foreign language. They eventually turn back to me.)

Man: “So, which machines can we exchange it for?”

Me: “Well, it depends how much you paid for your original one. May I see your receipt?”

Man: “We don’t have one. Only a credit card statement.”

(I had to go back to my manager and ask if I could still do the transaction without a receipt. It is a good five minutes before I get back to the counter.)

Me: “Okay, sir, the bank statement should be fine, but we’ll need extra time to find the receipt in our system.”

Man: “Actually, we’ve decided to keep our original machine.”

(Before I could stop him, he took the machine off the counter and walked off. I had to run to the front of the store and explain to my coworker at the door that someone was about to leave the store with an open sewing machine box and no receipt. The customers waiting in line were not impressed.)

quote:

Time Flies When You’re Having Run Of The Place
library | ID, USA | Bad Behavior, Technology, Time

(We have a two-hour time limit on our computers, to ensure that everyone who needs a computer gets a chance at one. If someone is doing homework, taxes, looking for employment, etc., I can stretch the time limit, but kids who come in just to watch YouTube or play games are kept to the two-hour limit.)

Girl: “I want a computer, please.”

Me: “All right, you’re on Computer #1. Remember there’s a two hour time limit.”

Girl: “I KNOW! Geez. You don’t have to tell me every time!”

(This girl comes in regularly to watch YouTube videos, and that’s her reaction every time I remind her of the time limit. Finally, one day she comes in and I figure I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt.)

Girl: “I want a computer.”

Me: “All right, Computer #1.” *decide not to remind her of the rule, as she’s insisted she knows it*

(My shift ends before her time limit is up, so I remind her as I leave that she has ten minutes left. She comes in the next day.)

Girl: “I want a computer.”

Me: “All right, hop on Computer #1. Remember, there’s a two-hour time limit.”

Girl: “Oh, nobody told me that yesterday, so I was on for like, five hours.”

Me: “…I told you that you had ten minutes left. Also, the time limit applies whether or not I remind you of it.”

Girl: “Well, nobody told me so I thought it didn’t apply.”

Me: *internally head-desking*
e:

Zaphod42 posted:

WTF is a 'Gans' ?


A friend of mine in high school got really into speed cubing, but I never heard any of this 'cuber', 'gans' poo poo. And he was also hardcore christian so his parents probably didn't let him have as much fun :cheeky:

http://www.amazon.com/Black-Gans-Ganspuzzle-Speedcube-Puzzle/dp/B00F2H6QT0
So, a puzzle for speed I guess
e2:

and straight from the front of imgur:

Postal Parcel has a new favorite as of 22:02 on Dec 16, 2015

Zaphod42
Sep 13, 2012

If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.

Looks like a specific brand of Rubik's, yeah.

Postal Parcel
Aug 2, 2013
Sorry for this, one more from NAF(friendly) because it's so bonkers

quote:

Can’t Blame The Wife For Changing Her Number
Car | PA, USA | Ignoring/Inattentive, Strangers, Technology

(I am a passenger in the car. My phone rings from a number I don’t recognize.)

Me: “Hello?”

Old Man: *angrily* “Who is this?!”

Me: “Um, you called me.”

Old Man: “This is my wife’s number. WHO ARE YOU?!”

Me: “No, you’ve called the wrong number.”

Old Man: “Is this [my number]?!”

Me: “Yes, that’s my number.”

Old Man: *launches into a lengthy tirade about how I stole his wife’s phone, that’s her number, she’s had that number ever since she got a cell phone, etc.*

Me: “I’m going to stop you right there. I’ve had this number since 2004. It is not your wife’s number. You need to figure out her number and call her.”

(I hang up and he calls back four times, leaving increasingly irrational messages on my voicemail. He finally announces he is going to call the police. I am listening to this message on speaker as I walk into the grocery store, passing the local police. The cop hears the message, asks about it, and listens to the other messages. Then the phone rings again. The cop asks if he can answer and I let him.)

Old Man: “You better tell me why you stole my wife’s phone!”

Cop: “Sir, this is Officer [Cop] from the [Township] Police. Why are you bothering this woman?”

Old Man: *screaming* “SHE STOLE MY WIFE’S PHONE! ARREST HER!”

Cop: “Sir, I’m going to ask you to look for your cell phone bill and read me the phone number off the bill.”

(There’s a bunch of noise in the background and finally he reads the number. It’s close to mine but, obviously, not the same.)

Cop: “Sir, that’s not the number you dialed. You dialed a different number. The last digit is different.”

Old Man: “But I always call that number and my wife always answers!”

Trebek
Mar 7, 2002
College Slice
Early onset dementia is hilarious. Office [COP] of [TOWNSHIP] P.D. really owned that guy.

Mr E
Sep 18, 2007

I want every cop to call themselves officer cop from township.

GOTTA STAY FAI
Mar 24, 2005

~no glitter in the gutter~
~no twilight galaxy~
College Slice
TOWNSHIP NAME
COP TEAM

sweeperbravo
May 18, 2012

AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

Postal Parcel posted:

It was, there a quite a few reposts, but who's complaining.

Anyway, I feel like we haven't had a good NAR posting in a while, so please excuse me while I indulge in some barrel shooting


e:


http://www.amazon.com/Black-Gans-Ganspuzzle-Speedcube-Puzzle/dp/B00F2H6QT0
So, a puzzle for speed I guess
e2:

and straight from the front of imgur:


you can tell this one was written by a dude because it's implied that of course the mom takes this as a compliment rather than being super skeeved

MonoAus
Nov 5, 2012
That was posted a while back too. Has it resurfaced already?


sweeperbravo posted:

you can tell this one was written by a dude because it's implied that of course the mom takes this as a compliment rather than being super skeeved

What? you mean a woman wouldn't be delighted to hear that everyone in the vicinity wants to gently caress her? even old man's wife does! she must be well sexy.

CROWS EVERYWHERE
Dec 17, 2012

CAW CAW CAW

Dinosaur Gum

MonoAus posted:

That was posted a while back too. Has it resurfaced already?


What? you mean a woman wouldn't be delighted to hear that everyone in the vicinity wants to gently caress her? even old man's wife does! she must be well sexy.

Next you'll be saying women don't like being wolf-whistled in the street or some such nonsense. It's a compliment! Women love compliments.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007

CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

Next you'll be saying women don't like being wolf-whistled in the street or some such nonsense. It's a compliment! Women love compliments.

So, let me get this right... Dropping trou the first time you meet a woman is still a compliment right?

MonoAus
Nov 5, 2012
Best part of that story is for some reason I kept misreading it as Son narrating and then hitting this line:

quote:

me - I do!

Khazar-khum
Oct 22, 2008

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
2nd Battalion

MonoAus posted:

Best part of that story is for some reason I kept misreading it as Son narrating and then hitting this line:

Thinking the son wanted to bang her was the best part last time this showed up.

Watch these girls teleport in Not Always Learning:

quote:

One Very Hairy Omelette
HIGH SCHOOL | USA | EXTRA STUPID, FOOD & DRINK, STUDENTS
(My science teacher is kind of a weird prankster who loves to pick on a group of ditzy blondes who sits in the back.)

Ditz: “Sir? Can I ask a question?”

Teacher: “Sure.”

Ditz: “Is it true that if you wash your hair with egg white it makes your hair stronger?”

Teacher: “Yes.”

Ditzy Group: *furiously taking notes*

(The bell rings and that class slowly files out. The ditzy group is one of the first to leave, since their desks are right next to the door.)

Teacher: “Oh darn, I should’ve told them to use cold water, not hot.”

(Sure enough, the next day, the group looked all miserable and their hair messed up! The rest of the class laughed and laughed!)

Tunicate
May 15, 2012

Yeah you show those girls who's boss. Teach them to be interested in practical science. :colbert:

Shayu
Feb 9, 2014
Five dollars for five words.
He should of thrown acid in their face, then say: "Who's got egg on your face? Oh wait I mean ACID not egg!"

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sweeperbravo
May 18, 2012

AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)
Lol!!!! Stupid ditzy girls, amirite??? They care about hair and stuff :roflolmao:

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