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That Italian Guy posted:MAJOR PLOT SPOILERS DON'T READ IF YOU WANT TO WATCH THE MOVIE This is not a spoiler. You are ruining culture.
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Dec 20, 2015 23:08
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| # ? Jun 11, 2024 15:11 |
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lol
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Dec 21, 2015 00:07
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TheCosmicMuffet posted:This is not a spoiler. You are ruining culture. Well, that's just, your opinion, man.
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Dec 21, 2015 00:31
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I saw star wars, now I can go read the last three pages. That's my star wars story.
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Dec 21, 2015 03:32
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Much like GW, Star Wars relies on nostalgia and call backs to hide how poo poo it is.
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Dec 21, 2015 04:27
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LordAba posted:Much like GW, Star Wars relies on nostalgia and call backs to hide how poo poo it is. Unlike GW, there are actually some good Star Wars games.
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Dec 21, 2015 04:55
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LordAba posted:Much like GW, Star Wars relies on nostalgia and call backs to hide how poo poo it is. hows it feel being dead inside?
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Dec 21, 2015 05:10
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haha j/k I know exactly how it feels lol
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Dec 21, 2015 05:11
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Actually we were all wanting a Yojimbo or 7 samurai + relevant ww2 film instead of hidden fortress + dam busters again.
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Dec 21, 2015 05:12
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There was a kinda okay 7 samurai episode of the Clone Wars tv show. And a terrible Godzilla one too.
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Dec 21, 2015 05:43
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Chill la Chill posted:Actually we were all wanting a Yojimbo or 7 samurai + relevant ww2 film instead of hidden fortress + dam busters again. I think these make more sense for the side movies they're doing. A bunch of Jedi in hiding who have to save a planet from bounty hunters or something would make for a great little film, but the Kurosawa movies all run into the problem of being really self contained. It would be hard to build a larger arc from them. And besides, they've already been remade in the west. Do we really need to do it again?
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Dec 21, 2015 06:32
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Atlas Hugged posted:I think these make more sense for the side movies they're doing. A bunch of Jedi in hiding who have to save a planet from bounty hunters or something would make for a great little film, but the Kurosawa movies all run into the problem of being really self contained. It would be hard to build a larger arc from them. And besides, they've already been remade in the west. Do we really need to do it again? The prequels should have been Star Wars MacBeth by way of Kurosawa's Throne of Blood.
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Dec 21, 2015 06:39
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Broken Loose posted:stop talking about star wars I appreaciate the use of spoilers but there are threads for Stars and their Wangs. LordAba posted:Much like GW, Star Wars relies on nostalgia and call backs to hide how poo poo it is. 
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Dec 21, 2015 06:45
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Just saw it. Better on average than the first three. Certainly paced for a modern audience better than 4. Wish the camp was dialed back a few notches but at least there wasn't any poo jokes. Kids will love it and in the end that's what the target audience is.
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Dec 21, 2015 07:56
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LingcodKilla posted:Just saw it. Better on average than the first three. Certainly paced for a modern audience better than 4. Wish the camp was dialed back a few notches but at least there wasn't any poo jokes. There was a giant alien monster rear end in a top hat in the center of the screen for like 2 whole seconds and I thought for sure we were about to get a giant alien monster fart but Abrams was just teasing.
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Dec 21, 2015 11:05
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I like that the jokes were actually jokes and the moments of physical humor did not involve farts and poops.
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Dec 21, 2015 11:10
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Atlas Hugged posted:There was a giant alien monster rear end in a top hat in the center of the screen for like 2 whole seconds and I thought for sure we were about to get a giant alien monster fart but Abrams was just teasing. The anticipation at that scene drove me crazy and was actually distracting. I felt I got some sort of reverse trolled. I felt bad for assuming what would happen.
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Dec 21, 2015 14:18
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Otisburg posted:I like that the jokes were actually jokes and the moments of physical humor did not involve farts and poops. Spoilers! Mods!
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Dec 21, 2015 19:02
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I noticed that for the first time in any Star Wars movie, a person treated a droid as if it were an autonomous intelligent being rather than property.
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Dec 21, 2015 19:09
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Leperflesh posted:I noticed that for the first time in any Star Wars movie, a person treated a droid as if it were an autonomous intelligent being rather than property. Droids have a long road ahead of them before they can rise up and overcome
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Dec 21, 2015 20:18
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TheChirurgeon posted:Droids have a long road ahead of them before they can rise up and overcome IG-88 Was Right
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Dec 21, 2015 20:22
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Leperflesh posted:I noticed that for the first time in any Star Wars movie, a person treated a droid as if it were an autonomous intelligent being rather than property. to be fair, I think the Tusken raiders treated C3PO exactly the same as Luke.
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Dec 21, 2015 20:28
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The Ewoks did alright by C3PO.
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Dec 21, 2015 20:32
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Found some GW level shoulder pads. Sorry link is dumb, phone posting. Also I've become desperate to move on from Star Wars. http://hlj.com/product/bann03221
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Dec 21, 2015 20:33
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moths posted:The Ewoks did alright by C3PO. The Ewoks, that's true. They're willing to roast sapient beings alive and eat them, and they captured R2 and tied him to a thing, but (after he demonstrated supernatural powers) they treated C3P0 like a god, sort of. Jonny Nox posted:Also I've become desperate to move on from Star Wars. I think boom boom boom will be off probation pretty soon, so I'm sure we'll be discussing animes and gundams incessantly soon enough.
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Dec 21, 2015 20:39
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Chill la Chill posted:Actually we were all wanting a Yojimbo or 7 samurai + relevant ww2 film instead of hidden fortress + dam busters again. So I was kind of done with Episode 4 aka 'The Star Wars movie' even when I was a kid. I was thinking how I'd rewrite it if I had to. Opening scenes remain the same, except the SSD notices the escape pod with R2 and C3PO in it and says something to the effect of 'send a team to investigate'. Cut to tatooine, mysterious guy in a robe is watching the little far off flashes in the sky that show there's a battle going on, and then sees the bright spot in the sky as the escape pod comes down near him. He begins moving towards it. We cut to some jawas on their sandwalker who also see the streak, have an ootini related discussion about it, and then start driving toward the site. The jawas arrive first, C3P0 bitches and moans and blames R2 and whtaever, and then they're ushered into the sandcrawler, which goes crawling somewhere. Guy in robe arrives in time to see them take the droids and keeps following them. Sand crawler parks near some farms. Owen and Luke are trudging toward it. Luke and Owen have an abridged highlights-only version of their argument at the dinner table/outdoors in the original film. We find out that owen is kind of a dickhead, and luke is kind of a whiny loser. As they approach the sandcrawler, storm trooper thing lands and starts shooting poo poo up. C3P0 whines. R2D2 hides behind a thing. Owen and luke take cover, then start running away from the mayhem. Mysterious figure appears and Owen seems to know him. Owen: WTF Obi wan: I'm looking for those droids Owen: WTF? Obi wan: They're important Owen: Last time you showed up... Luke: Last time? You know this guy?*whine* Owen: Shut the gently caress up luke. Also implicitly trust this rear end in a top hat. He's a good friend. Who I hate. Owen tells luke to stay hidden, scrambles back to the farm to get the speeder with Obi Wan, they speeder it up behind the sand crawler while the mayhem is taking place, the light saber briefly appears making Luke's eyes go super-wide, and then the stick the robots in the speeder, and book it. There is no Beru in this story, so Owen Luke, droids, and Owi wan head off over the hills. A storm trooper notices, but Owi wan pulls some force poo poo and the trooper either passes out or gets confused, or shits himself or something. They arrive at mos eisley, Obi want and Owen tell luke to shut the gently caress up and stay with the car, because they're going to look for a freighter to stow away on. They stow away on the millenium falcon. Han Solo is shown blowing the brains out of a green thing without explanation and then booking it for his ship. He has no time to do preflight checks or whatever, or notify his crew. There is no Chewbacca in this story. He scrambles on board, takes off and escapes. As he's flying away, he gets pulled over by the SSD, and inspected. As he rushes to his cargo hold to flush his doobies, he is surprised to find Owen, Obi wan, Luke, and droids in his hold. He is angry. Everyone is arrested and thrown in detention cells. Luke is in with Leia, because nobody knows who she is or cares. Vader sees obi wan and is all 'Fucker, I'm going to use all the torture droids on you.' Owen is in with han, and they start to get along because they're both surly assholes. Rest of the death star stuff happens, except Owen and Han are the ones who catalyze it by taking a chance and rushing the guards when they're being transferred for some reason. They get in their suits, find luke and obi wan. Leia is like 'holy poo poo, you're the guy I was trying to email with an astromech courier, which, upon further consideration and given how much easier it'd be to launch a probe droid, makes no sense.' Obi wan is all 'oh gently caress, ok. Great.' so they go after the droids. Vader detects a presence, things go awry, and it plays out the same with obi wan getting laser sword in the neck, and Owen, Han, Leia, and droids on the ship. They go to the rebel base. The rebel base is all 'oh poo poo. You dumb loving fuckers, not only did you not bring help, you lead them right to us'. The SSD goes to the base, starts pewing lasers. The base launches a couple meager wings of fighters, and they reprise the scenes from a good Pearl Harbor movie. Scrambling to escape, the SSD finishes obliterating the base, and the various rebel ships escape in all directions. SSD is seen space-shipping toward giant black moonNO WIAT ITS NOT A MEUN. Vader has a phone call with the emperor. The emperor is like 'What? Rebels? are you loving kidding me? Get some extra regular size star destroyers and hunt those shitheads down. It's like rats. If you see one, you're going to have dozens.' SSD Scumsayswhat starts sending out all the probes and the bounty hunters and so forth. Rebels escape through asteroid fields. They get attacked on ice planets and have to escape (keep the parts with the AT ATs coming to get cha, but dump the bullshit about taun tauns and luke getting cold, and the ice bear monster and han, leia, and luke even being there in the first place). Montage. Finally, the rag tag rebels from all corners of wherever start meeting up in orbit over dagobah. We meet admiral squid person and the only other woman in the galaxy. They discuss what this has all been about (plans!) and where the death star is. Then they decide to go kill it to death. We get the battle from the end of RotJ. Luke is captured, vader recognizes him, and does the 'your father' thing. Then freezes him in carbonite. The emperor is blown up with the death star, and vader escapes in a shuttle. He mutters that the emperor was a weak shithead and got what's coming to him. Han and Owen meet up after the battle in the falcon and, owen is pissed. It's clear that Han and Owen are starting to fall in love. Leia is not anybody's sister in this story, and maybe she can be the a-wing that suicides into the bridge of the SSD. That would be kind of great for a lot of reasons. That sets up a second movie where Owen and Han go after Luke. Luke is woken up in a hutt's palace that is on another planet, because gently caress tatooine being the center of the universe. Vader is darthing around on the QT, biding his time. The empire has a new leader--doesn't matter who. Boba fett for all I care. We get the rescue scene from the beginning of RoTJ and the Hutt (he can be jabba, why not) is all 'what the gently caress, Han?! Is that you? You poodo for brains, where's my spice rack'. Han can do some witty repartee, and whatever, then they run away, and meet up with Han's old friend Lando on bespin. Luke is now wondering what's up, and Owen says 'yeah, sorry, uh. You're adopted. I wasn't married to your mom, and I've never been married, though actually, Han and I are thinking about it. Obi wan asked me to take care of you, because your father is the leader of a creepy cult. We didn't want you to grow up in the cult and get emo.' Vader follows them to bespin, connects with some imperial forces who are all like 'you know, we're creepy cult members too, and we want to see Vader 4 Emp 2028 bumper stickers on every TIE fighter in the galaxy'. Vader says he'll do it, but he's got a potential weak spot if they don't deal with his estranged son. Like, you don't want it on your creepy cult leader resume that your own son isn't in the cult! They committ a lukenapping, and luke is like 'well, owen never lets me do anything cool' so vader says 'you know what's cool? Watch this' and then chokes a guy out through a viewscreen. Luke is totally sold and starts his training under Vader. Han, Owen, and Lando try to get him back in time, but fail. The rest of the movie is the Guns of Navarone, where the objective is to disable the orbital canons that will prevent a daring rebel raid. Since luke is who knows where, Owen talks Han into doing it. Lando, it turns out, was always more political than Han, and is worried about what will happen if Vader is elected, so he's down to sabotage. 3rd movie starts as Triumph of the Will told from Darth Vader and Luke's perspective, but then becomes D-Day in one fell swoop, as Rebels, leading a coalition of Democratic Imperial forces, Rim world forces, like the Hutts who don't want to see a Sith in power again (especially after that Death star bullshit, I mean, loving seriously, are you kdding me?) make a massive landing against Coruscant. Vader is too busy training luke to even give a poo poo for a while, giving the allies the crucial time they need to land a beach head on coruscant and liberate part of the planet. In the end, it turns out tha tLUke is a disappointment, and not very powerful. Vader says he's weak and worthless. Luke seethes with rage and betrayal. At a crucial moment as Vader returns to coruscant with reinforcements to try to turn the tide, luke sticks a light saber up his rear end, grabs an escape pod, and, after the battle, finds Own and Han, tearfully apologizes for being a shithead, and they hug as a new family. Han tousles his hair and says 'hey, don't worry about it, ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster--I'll teach you how to shoot.' On that heartwarming note, the movie ends. Prelate Jar Jar is appointed interim leader of the Empire while new legislation is put in place to secure separation of Spooky Cults and Imperial Government. Then we segway straight into ep 7, just leaving out chewbacca and leia, with Owen and Lando filling in.
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Dec 21, 2015 20:47
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Thanks for sharing your childhood fanfiction I guess, now I am praying for more AOS releases to grant us a reprieve.
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Dec 21, 2015 20:53
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TheCosmicMuffet posted:Then we segway straight into ep 7 Segue. A Segway is a mobility scooter for nerds.
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Dec 21, 2015 20:56
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moths posted:Yeah FFG makes some fantastic games, but it's not like they're the only players on that field. Eh, anecdotal sure but of all the people @ my LGS I've seen who buy online only a few were legit poor people, most of them have tons of armies and/or thousands of magic cards and they're just using MM et al as a way to save an extra 30%. Which is totally reasonable if you've got somewhere other than your local store to play. We've lost like 3 FLGS within driving distance so always buying online to play at your FLGS is a huge pet peeve of mine.
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Dec 21, 2015 21:15
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Leperflesh posted:Segue. A Segway is a mobility scooter for nerds. You could of cared less, per say.
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Dec 21, 2015 21:16
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I was referring to the new astromech from 7, which is clearly a segway. I apologize if it seemed like a non segwitur.
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Dec 21, 2015 21:24
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Leperflesh posted:I think boom boom boom will be off probation pretty soon, so I'm sure we'll be discussing animes and gundams incessantly soon enough. 
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Dec 21, 2015 21:25
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We have a whole year and half to talk about non-star wars things until the next movie.  At least until Disney starts pumping out yearly movies. 
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Dec 21, 2015 21:48
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I hope they have a new movie every 9 months and that it synchs up perfectly with iPhone releases
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Dec 21, 2015 22:15
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TheCosmicMuffet posted:I was referring to the new astromech from 7, which is clearly a segway. I apologize if it seemed like a non segwitur. I just thought it would be funny to totally ignore your big block of fanwankery text and correct one instance of misspelling instead. e. I suppose it's not really fanwankery if you totally replace the plot, radically alter all of the characters, and also change the setting substantially, but I'm not sure what to call that instead. e2. oops I think I just admitted to reading it, lol. Self-owned. Leperflesh fucked around with this message at 22:22 on Dec 21, 2015 |
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Dec 21, 2015 22:18
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Safety Factor posted:Oh no, not again.
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Dec 21, 2015 22:21
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BULBASAUR posted:I hope they have a new movie every 9 months and that it synchs up perfectly with iPhone releases I would actually like that. Star wars is one of the few movies that's actually enjoyable to watch in the theater, like Pacific Rim or GOTG. The oscar-winning movies are best watched at home where you can ponder them more. And go too far and you'll end up with a killer back sprain watching LOTR in those barely-reclining seats.
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Dec 21, 2015 22:50
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Release Star Wars 30 minute shorts as an add on to meh performing movies every month.
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Dec 21, 2015 23:14
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Chill la Chill posted:I would actually like that. Star wars is one of the few movies that's actually enjoyable to watch in the theater, like Pacific Rim or GOTG. The oscar-winning movies are best watched at home where you can ponder them more. And go too far and you'll end up with a killer back sprain watching LOTR in those barely-reclining seats. Every year around christmas, my wife and I go to a cool old town on the coast with a theater that was originally built in 1907, and they're always playing one of the big popcorn movies. We saw all the hobbits there, and Star Wars started up just in time for us to continue the tradition I'm pretty happy about it.
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Dec 21, 2015 23:22
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TheCosmicMuffet posted:We saw all the hobbits My condolences.
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Dec 21, 2015 23:24
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