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May 14, 2024 21:10
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- TenementFunster
- Feb 20, 2003
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The Cooler King
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Ugh. Just ugh.
I mean who the gently caress eats at the Rainforest Cafe goddamn.
tbf where else are you gonna eat in loving grapevine
quakecon crew stand up
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Dec 15, 2015 09:22
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- hunkrust
- Sep 29, 2014
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I got an MA in asking leading questions about how sexism isnt real, and regularly fail to grasp that other people have different experience than me or enjoy different things.
I also own multiple fedoras, to go with my leather dusters, and racist pin badges.
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And while it's probably super gender-normative and presumptuous of me
Can't remember the last time I heard someone say that unironically
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Dec 15, 2015 14:50
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- cmndstab
- May 20, 2006
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Huge Internet Celebrity!
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Finally a fat, depressed, uneducated, herpes-ridden, broke, polyamorous, ladyboy furry to call my own
efa
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Dec 15, 2015 15:28
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- ClamdestineBoyster
- Aug 15, 2015
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Can't post for 10 years!
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Ugh. Just ugh.
I mean who the gently caress eats at the Rainforest Cafe goddamn.
Isn't that an rv store in Vegas? Guess you can get burgers there now lol.
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Dec 16, 2015 07:32
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- im cute
- Sep 21, 2009
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This is what I picture in my mind when I think of "woman PUA" but also that Channel 4 documentary about rinsers.
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Dec 17, 2015 19:49
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- Grimdude
- Sep 25, 2006
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It was a shame how he carried on
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You live in the Midwest too huh?
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Dec 17, 2015 21:54
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- froward
- Jun 2, 2014
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by Azathoth
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she stole her child's teeth.. right out of their head!! national enquirer's HORROR MOMS
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Dec 18, 2015 01:54
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- insufficient guns
- May 4, 2009
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personally, I would
like to fuck Wall-E
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Dusted off my OkCupid account to keep this thread going.
It's all good but I've bolded some highlights for convenience
quote:
My self-summary
💚THOSE WHO LIKE ME MUST SEND MESSAGE
👉my profile is not a paid profile. If you don't mesage me, I would never know.
Update: OMG I loved these lines when I wrote to a beautiful girl and im adding some of those below with a little change,
👍if honesty is your fetish, sincerety is your weakness, curry is your favourity, short breaks inspire you, you are attracted to simplicity, would like to explore edinburgh togeather, would be happy to watch movies togeather, geathering ️nice friends around you is your passion and exchanging smiles is your beauty then you should message me.
I am not amending my profile to grab your attention. Not hitting your inbox with great chat up lines. Just offering sincerety and expecting the same.
UPDATE:from now on, (UNTILL FURTHER NOTICE)
I shall visit and contact those profiles of females who are searching for casual sex aswel.
❤You get better book than the cover.
Let me be clear.
I could write few words to grab attention of hundred females. I'm not interested in this. I'm simple. I'm more interested in finding one or few great people as new friends. I am not here to impress anyone. I am not here to share my passport with those seeking british nationality. I am simply looking for new people to meet. I love humans. Who doesn't? Yes I sometimes go through the profiles of those females who are interested in fun too whenever I'm in mood. However, my Main search is for new friends.
😡I get annoyed by reading that you are good at kissing. I met only one girl in life who is good at kissing. TBH I had to teach her how to kiss for a while. Then she became perfect.
👉 I think the friendship is the most beautiful relation in the world. Yes, meet over coffee as a friend in casual dress, enjoy coffee and the great moments of discussions. Get addicted meet again. Again and again and then come into dating scene.
I don't fancy text flirting on a website. I'm real and I want reality. This sites are means to have a list of likeminded people. If you are loving real then I have your number obtained in the previous months.
I am a very happy, satisfied, cool and calm man. British citizen but wasn't raised here. So I don't say my first language is English.
I enjoy everything around me and I love my life.
I love traveling.
I LIKE ITALIANS. PREFERABLY FEMALES FOR FRIENDSHIP AND/OR ROMANCE
WHILE Italian MALES FOR JUST FRIENDSHIP.
Polish posh are good to go aswel.
Now a days im Settling down in scotland after returning from england. Scotland is beautiful.
I love silence and specially Pin drop silence. Therefore, I prefer coffee shops over club and pub.
Sometimes I drive out of cities no matter day or night and stay in the peaceful silence for five minutes upto couple of hours.
I like to chat with people. Mostly I listen and the other persons speak. I don't fancy one on one online conversations. I prefer chat rooms. Unfortunatly there are not anymore online chatrooms for group conversations by using mic and speakers/headphone.
👉I am very friendly and people after few meetings think we have become friends which is not true. I don't call ️everybody a friend so easily. Friendship for me is privious like your own child. You give it a birth, keep it safe, grow it with passion and make it mature.
No, you are not my friend if we meet over coffee and chat. It's like a girl or guy meets me on transit to a destinition and we had coffee together. Or talked to a stranger during night out on holidays.
Naah, that's not friendship. Will discuss friendship on a meeting.
😜I Shall quit smoking soon.
However, Would be fun if ur smokers too. We drive to the countryside in the silence, smoke and come back.
As I work in Edinburgh I am loving this city architecture. Edinburgh is amazing.
Coffee, plain white becomes my passion during winter.
(😐The private thing to share? (MAYBE ITS APPEALING FOR RIGHT PERSON)?:::
😊I have a fantasy to meet a girl who has pretty nails, pretty toes, pretty feet and pretty hands and fulfil a fantasy which I shall describe to her.)
I used to play badminton, cricket, football and chess. I don't think there is someone in scotland who can beat me in chess. However, I need practice before the challange. Because it's been ages I played chess.
😂😂😂
😡PROSTITUES DONT SEND MESSAGE
THOSE ASKING FOR DRINKS AND PAID NIGHT OUT ALSO NOTE I THINK ITS PROSTITUTIONS IN A WAY ASWEL
😡NO I WONT SHOW CONSCENT TO PAY FOR YOUR NIGHT OUT WITH ME AND SEX AFTERWARDS
WHY WOULD I TAKE RISK, THEN GOTO JAIL AND ALSO ALLOW YOU CLAIM REGULARLY FOR THE UPBRINGING OF CHILD WHEN YOU BECOME PREFNANT AFTER SEX (that would be raping me),
😐😐while every living product is available from tenner a quickie upto £80 per hour?
😂😂They are reliable, well reputed, secure AND MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN YOU AS ITS THEIR JOB TO BE ATTRACTIVE.
😩(((I DONT LIKE PAID SEX I JUST PRESENTED COMPARISON ABOUT SERVICE AVAILABILY OUT THERE)).
Whatelse I should say? Ask if you have something. I think the better way is communication to know each other. These profiles are not always enough. Not only these profiles but anything we say to describe us.
For example I know a great guy who says he is massive player of chess. I agree with his statement but he was never able to meet for chess. However, we meet regularly and chat for hours on other topics.
If you receive my message then it's just a friendly message without formalities. Yeah 2.5% messages to the females searching for casual sex aswel.
When it comes to sex, I have two tastes. Passuonate and aggressive. Mostly passionate on equal terms but I slightly dominate.
So, if I message for sex, it's for the passionate one.
While a real master never sends a message to his slave to be. He crushes feminine pride of a girl who begs for loving and attention straightforwardly. She sends message. She takes innitiative. She is supposed to bow down and submit herself. She is the bitch. If she is successful, she shall please her master. And if master is pleased, he shall test her, taste her and pay a little attention to the bitch. This attention will take the bitch to heavens. Master wouldn't send her first message introducing his profile.
SO DARLINGS IF I SEND YOU MESSAGE THEN BARE IN MIND MY MESSAGE IS NOT FOR MY TYPE OF SEX.
What I’m doing with my life
Just like all human beings spending 1 full day on this planet. Trying to go back to 9-5 job.
I’m really good at
being good.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Haven't read since ages. When I was a reader, I read libraries. Life takes you to different phases and you can't predict what will you be in future. I was a reader and writer. Maybe I become reader again. Who knows?
My music mood is weired. Weird in a sense that For three days I was listening to different versions of "Lean On" and then become bored😂
I listen to Any music which appeals me.
(My all time fav track is levitate by hadouken) This is the only song which takes me to heavens. I dunno why?
Gigs? I don't go anymore.
When it comes to chose,
Some 80s
Some 90s
The six things I could never do without
Family
Close Friends
Internet
Phone
Bed
Car
I spend a lot of time thinking about
We bombed trillions of pounds missiles over libya and Syria ect, we could have provide every britisher a house of his own with that money. We are war mongars.
We spent all our assets and lives in order to create weapons, why didn't we spend this money on inventing substitute of food? Mother Nature/God gave us knowledge, strength, assets and rule over this planet as human beings. We actually used it for destruction. We have no substitute of food. We kill animals and plants to eat. We are animals.
Let's be positive. Become calm, cool and honest with our lovley planet. Let's do something. Let's be polite with other residents of this planet and the neighbouring universes. Let's spread love and peace. Leta do it gently.
On a typical Friday night I am
(Trying to take my radar away from the drunk girls who are walking barefeet on snails, people's vomit, people's pee on road and other kind of rubbish while, they are carrying heels in their hands)
Poor little worms are life.
Willing to give friends lift on their way back home because I finish my work shift by that time. 😂saturday aswel.
Working most of the night. I do late night shifts and mostly I am working on weekends too. Edinburgh is a tiny city and im not very much interested in pub and club scene of edinburgh. Therefore, if I have Friday off after couple of months, I prefer staying at home, chat on phone with friends, skype chat with remote contacts, weekly grocery like a grandad pensioner, watch a movie or join a group of connections in a pub at lothian road. Or maybe at magie dicksons at grass market.
You should message me if
To find out the connection between you and I which compelled us to read each other's profile/innitial message.
OR select any 1 of the followings
To organise a random meet.
To travel (in car) outside Edinburgh for a day trip or for two days.
To watch a movie in cinema.
To watch a movie at your couch while ordering food.
To cook together at yours.
For a coffee meet.
If you are lonely.
If you are honest.
If you are decent.
If you are indecent.
If you don't want sex.
If you want sex.
If you don't smoke.
If you smoke.
If you hate smoking.
If there is a house party for me.
If you are bored
If you want to make me bored
If you
If you
If you
And the list never ends.
😂see how desperate I am?
Well, to be honest I am not looking to date a girl at the moment. But if friendship takes us to the level of relationship then it's cool.
A lot of the time I see pictures that make me think "mate do you really think someone's going to look at that and say 'yes, I would like to have sex with that person?" Why not choose more flattering pictures? Have some examples featuring some garden variety dorkus malorkuses.
insufficient guns fucked around with this message at 22:18 on Dec 22, 2015
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Dec 22, 2015 19:45
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- loquacius
- Oct 21, 2008
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Is it just me or is this guy way too cross-eyed to be handling projectile weapons
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Dec 22, 2015 20:10
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- Anton Chigurh
- Mar 18, 2008
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Can't post for 9 years!
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Dude in the middle looks like he just realized he ate some bad cake and is calculating whether he can make it to the crapper in time before vomiting.
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Dec 22, 2015 20:37
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- loquacius
- Oct 21, 2008
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Gluten is an airborne disease so yeah it's only good hygiene
Don't want your food to catch the 'uten
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Dec 22, 2015 21:44
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- Sazabi
- Feb 15, 2014
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A-MA-ZON!!
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some serial killer in Edinburgh.
Thanks for the good read Guns.
Nothing gets a women in the mood like sitting in absolute silence or listening to a guy talk about how friendship is something you give birth to and raise with "passion".
"why didn't we spend this money on inventing substitute of food?" My favorite line and I think it should be highlighted with the rest of the gems.
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Dec 22, 2015 21:58
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- cmndstab
- May 20, 2006
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Huge Internet Celebrity!
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quote:PROSTITUES DONT SEND MESSAGE
THOSE ASKING FOR DRINKS AND PAID NIGHT OUT ALSO NOTE I THINK ITS PROSTITUTIONS IN A WAY ASWEL
NO I WONT SHOW CONSCENT TO PAY FOR YOUR NIGHT OUT WITH ME AND SEX AFTERWARDS
WHY WOULD I TAKE RISK, THEN GOTO JAIL AND ALSO ALLOW YOU CLAIM REGULARLY FOR THE UPBRINGING OF CHILD WHEN YOU BECOME PREFNANT AFTER SEX (that would be raping me),
while every living product is available from tenner a quickie upto £80 per hour?
They are reliable, well reputed, secure AND MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN YOU AS ITS THEIR JOB TO BE ATTRACTIVE.
(((I DONT LIKE PAID SEX I JUST PRESENTED COMPARISON ABOUT SERVICE AVAILABILY OUT THERE)).
And the academy awards for the block of text on a dating website that is the biggest turn-off goes to...
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Dec 23, 2015 01:28
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- im cute
- Sep 21, 2009
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Dusted off my OkCupid account to keep this thread going.
It's all good but I've bolded some highlights for convenience
A lot of the time I see pictures that make me think "mate do you really think someone's going to look at that and say 'yes, I would like to have sex with that person?" Why not choose more flattering pictures? Have some examples featuring some garden variety dorkus malorkuses.
I was getting ready to get all indignant about ESL speakers but then that loving profile... it just never ends.
Also lol at all these doof magoofs
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Dec 23, 2015 01:40
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- Cyberpunkey Monkey
- Jun 23, 2003
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by Nyc_Tattoo
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The last person I met from OKCupid was the daugher of a Juggalo drug dealer and probably a porn star. We had an approx. six-month relationship. It was fun times.
Tinder, I didn't get laid, but I got a carload of clothing donations for a local women's shelter.
smh idk
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Dec 23, 2015 06:36
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- Setzer Gabbiani
- Oct 13, 2004
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One good okc profile trope is when people make pages that read like a millenial backpage post
quote: am a passionate, queer, sex/body+, revolutionary feminist who understands privilege, hierarchies of oppression, and the concept of intersectionality. I grew up in a matriarchal household, raised by some of the fiercest ladies who taught me how to be strong, and encouraged me to follow my dreams. Until recently, I didn't really know what it was I wanted to do with my life, but now I have some clarity, focus, and a direction to move in.
===Update 11/03/15===
I'm no longer dating people who identify as hetero cis men. To clarify, I will only consider dating cis men if they're also queer or bisexual. If you do not know what cis means, please don't expect me to educate you. That's what Google is for. ✌
quote: I’m really good at
Making coffee. Trolling the internet. Being naked. Object manipulation. Spanking/being spanked. Day dreaming. Following through. Blowjobs. Keeping my word. Riding my bike in rush hour traffic. Prostate stimulation. Making mistakes. Learning. Growing. Laughing at myself. Loving. Naps
quote: I spend a lot of time thinking about
Sex (but probably not with you).
Exhibitionism.
Kinbaku (look it up if you don't know what it is).
Hook suspension.
Feminisms.
Spanking.
Pegging.
quote:===Update 17/06/13===
I've definitely enjoyed sharing a few of my kinks with the OKC community this past month or so. I am, for the most part, delighted to read that you would love it if I hosed you in the rear end, or that it wouldn't take much for you to make my bottom swollen and red
only to spend the last couple paragraphs musing about why people might think they like to gently caress
quote:Don't message me if:
You think that because I mention sex and kink in my profile, it automatically means I want to gently caress you. Newsflash: no one wants to gently caress you.
while at the same time namedropping their tumblr profiles that have posts like this
http://thelaceserpent.tumblr.com/post/52033018437/prostate-play-anyone
92% match
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Dec 23, 2015 08:31
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- SupSuper
- Apr 8, 2009
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At the Heart of the city is an Alien horror, so vile and so powerful that not even death can claim it.
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okcupid.txt - Newsflash: no one wants to gently caress you.
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Dec 23, 2015 10:45
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- hunkrust
- Sep 29, 2014
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I got an MA in asking leading questions about how sexism isnt real, and regularly fail to grasp that other people have different experience than me or enjoy different things.
I also own multiple fedoras, to go with my leather dusters, and racist pin badges.
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No here's Kilroy
Really digging the mustache
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Dec 23, 2015 23:01
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 14, 2024 21:10
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- Lawrence Gilchrist
- Mar 31, 2010
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Hand is about the only fun this guy ever gets heyooooo
don't just dismiss him out of hand
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Dec 24, 2015 00:16
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