The F Plus: Terrible Things Read with Enthusiam

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Rapidly Going Deaf > The F Plus: Terrible Things Read with Enthusiam

«‹›420 »

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

PUGGERNAUT posted:

Please tell me you're including the "gluten shamed at the liquor store" story.

"That's a full Bieber!"

That's the one that inspired me to start looking. This one removed any doubts I had.

# ? Dec 29, 2015 09:18

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 19, 2024 14:48

Chelb: Oct 24, 2010; I'm gonna show SA-kun my shitposting!

ALL-PRO SEXMAN posted:

That's the one that inspired me to start looking. This one removed any doubts I had.

that might just be one of the most terrifying link/article titles I've ever seen.

# ? Dec 29, 2015 10:18

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

ALL-PRO SEXMAN posted:

That's the one that inspired me to start looking. This one removed any doubts I had.

quote:

My theory is that our sheets are to blame: I'm not very good at making the bed every day so Cricket and Donut have free reign. My fiance and I don't use condoms so it'd be easy for him to unknowingly have some hair on his penis and during sex it'd be easy for that hair to migrate to my strings where everything got all tangled up.

# ? Dec 29, 2015 12:10

Lumbermouth: Mar 6, 2008; GREG IS BIG NOW

Don't forget the demisexuality one. The comments definitely have some MVP potential.

# ? Dec 29, 2015 15:17

CynCyanide: Mar 21, 2005; dance, water, dance!

ALL-PRO SEXMAN posted:

That's the one that inspired me to start looking. This one removed any doubts I had.

That is loving disgusting.

# ? Dec 29, 2015 19:20

FoxTerrier: Feb 15, 2012; Perfectly logical poster who uses the tools available to him to come to solid conclusions

Oh man. Don't forget the classic about the lady that lives like she's a Victorian and is hilariously up her own butt about it.

crazy victorian lady posted:

"Some people feel they were born in the wrong place, or in a body of the wrong gender. I have simply always felt that I was born in the wrong time, and there is no passport nor surgical procedure to help one of my particular condition."

"There is an old trope in 19th-century romance stories of sweethearts who meet when the maiden is still too immature of a girl to understand the feelings which the hero arouses in her. Patient and steadfast, the young man watches from afar while she grows, blooms into womanhood, and at last confesses her love.

The Victorian era was that patient suitor in my life: a presence I adored from our first meeting, and which subsequently, over the course of a typical adolescence, I was destined to admire, dream about, strike out at, obsess over, long for, then caress and finally embrace with open arms.

In college, I gained a corporeal beau who did not mind sharing my love. He likewise carried a passion for that era within his own heart. I do not guess what other couples discuss when they walk through woods dappled by moonlight, but I know what ideas we contemplate: what the trees saw when they were young, and the stories the great world was spinning as those saplings grew to giants."

I'll stop now because the entire thing is quotable. I think that may end up being the trouble with making an f plus doc; they're all pretty long so it'll be tough to edit things so there's a variety of lengths for them to pick from. But I have faith in your ability to make it work, All-Pro Sexman.

http://www.xojane.com/it-happened-to-me/sarah-chrisman-victorian-secrets

FoxTerrier fucked around with this message at 19:41 on Dec 29, 2015

# ? Dec 29, 2015 19:39

Added Space: Jul 13, 2012; Free Markets
Free People

Curse you Hayard-Gunnes!

Lumbermouth posted:

Don't forget the demisexuality one. The comments definitely have some MVP potential.

Eh, the article really just says "I have a low sex drive, people bullied me about it, I found a label to help me cope." Completely harmless. I do agree the comments are much sillier with people going crazy about such a modest sentiment.

# ? Dec 29, 2015 20:26

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

A corporeal beau. As opposed to the immaterial nineteenth century.

:allears:

# ? Dec 29, 2015 20:26

kalensc: Sep 10, 2003; Only Trust Your Respirator, kupo!
Art/Quote by: Rubby

Sham bam bamina! posted:

A corporeal beau. As opposed to the immaterial nineteenth century.

I read it as "everyone thought I was insufferable so I dated the Instant Adoring Boyfriend for a good while, but then *gasp* a flesh-and-blood man who gets it appeared!".

# ? Dec 29, 2015 20:46

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

FoxTerrier posted:

Oh man. Don't forget the classic about the lady that lives like she's a Victorian and is hilariously up her own butt about it.

I'll stop now because the entire thing is quotable. I think that may end up being the trouble with making an f plus doc; they're all pretty long so it'll be tough to edit things so there's a variety of lengths for them to pick from. But I have faith in your ability to make it work, All-Pro Sexman.

http://www.xojane.com/it-happened-to-me/sarah-chrisman-victorian-secrets

Yea I bet she'd love staying in her house near 24/7 and getting sent to an asylum if she questions her husband too much or whatever. Because of COURSE these people all think they'd be oh so elegant (and piss reeking) aristocrats and not 'that chick that works in the flowershop while hoping her husband doesn't die in the mines'.

# ? Dec 29, 2015 20:47

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

FoxTerrier posted:

http://www.xojane.com/it-happened-to-me/sarah-chrisman-victorian-secrets

It Happened To Me - I've Got A Terminal Case of Purple Prose

# ? Dec 29, 2015 20:56

Tracula: Mar 26, 2010; PLEASE LEAVE

This xojane insanity definitely seems more up Lou's alley than the Fplus.

# ? Dec 30, 2015 02:32

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

kalensc posted:

I read it as "everyone thought I was insufferable so I dated the Instant Adoring Boyfriend for a good while, but then *gasp* a flesh-and-blood man who gets it appeared!".

Uh, it follows a paragraph where she specifically describes the Victorian era itself as her suitor.

# ? Dec 30, 2015 07:22

watho: Aug 2, 2013; The real world will, again tomorrow, function and run without me.

Added Space posted:

Eh, the article really just says "I have a low sex drive, people bullied me about it, I found a label to help me cope." Completely harmless. I do agree the comments are much sillier with people going crazy about such a modest sentiment.

Yeah, the main point of that article was "our society is really obsessed with sex and it's okay to not be all that interested in it". It doesn't have the smugness about not being a filthy sexuals that made the episode about asexual people amazing.

# ? Dec 30, 2015 10:28

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

watho posted:

sex

As an ace, I am both completely ignorant of this word and seriously triggered by it. Could you just, like, not?

# ? Dec 30, 2015 18:06

dijon du jour: Mar 27, 2013; _{I'm shy}

Sham bam bamina! posted:

As an ace, I am both completely ignorant of this word and seriously triggered by it. Could you just, like, not?

What? What are you responding to?

Oh, ha, I understand now. Sorry, I'm just so ace I often can't even perceive the word "sex". Gosh, I am having such an ace day today lol tonguey-face colon-three.

# ? Dec 30, 2015 19:48

watho: Aug 2, 2013; The real world will, again tomorrow, function and run without me.

Sham bam bamina! posted:

As an ace, I am both completely ignorant of this word and seriously triggered by it. Could you just, like, not?

I'm not even sarcastically say that that was funny. Is there a doc of incredibly unfunny people making incredibly low effort tumblr jokes?

dijon du jour posted:

What? What are you responding to?

Oh, ha, I understand now. Sorry, I'm just so ace I often can't even perceive the word "sex". Gosh, I am having such an ace day today lol tonguey-face colon-three.

This on the other hand is on point.

# ? Dec 30, 2015 20:13

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

can we have a doc of people getting upset at other people's low effort tumblr jokes

can we have a doc of shitpostign

# ? Dec 30, 2015 22:05

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

Djeser posted:

can we have a doc of people getting upset at other people's low effort tumblr jokes

can we have a doc of shitpostign

this thread

# ? Dec 30, 2015 23:47

Tracula: Mar 26, 2010; PLEASE LEAVE

I know Lou has read some SA stuff so I guess that fits?

# ? Dec 31, 2015 01:26

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

watho posted:

I'm not even sarcastically say that that was funny. Is there a doc of incredibly unfunny people making incredibly low effort tumblr jokes?

It was a lazy "ace" joke, not a lazy Tumblr joke. Sorry for saying "triggered" as shorthand for the "self-righteously offended and desperately wishing to have been traumatized" attitudes that defined that entire episode.

# ? Dec 31, 2015 06:24

Alaois: Feb 7, 2012

Sham bam bamina! posted:

It was a lazy "ace" joke, not a lazy Tumblr joke. Sorry for saying "triggered" as shorthand for the "self-righteously offended and desperately wishing to have been traumatized" attitudes that defined that entire episode.

did he just trigger you

# ? Dec 31, 2015 12:22

Kaiju Cage Match: Nov 5, 2012

watho posted:

I'm not even sarcastically say that that was funny. Is there a doc of incredibly unfunny people making incredibly low effort tumblr jokes?

Found the Tumblr user.

# ? Dec 31, 2015 13:52

watho: Aug 2, 2013; The real world will, again tomorrow, function and run without me.

Sham bam bamina! posted:

It was a lazy "ace" joke, not a lazy Tumblr joke. Sorry for saying "triggered" as shorthand for the "self-righteously offended and desperately wishing to have been traumatized" attitudes that defined that entire episode.

That didn't really define that episode though. It was mostly people trying to one-up each other with how little they even knew about sex. "I'm so asexual that I don't even know what porn is, I thought my friend was talking about something called 'cornography'".

People who make trigger jokes tend to be the people who sincerely are afraid of cultural Marxism and call people "cucks".

# ? Dec 31, 2015 14:08

Kaiju Cage Match: Nov 5, 2012

Is Onision F-Plus material? I've been thinking about making a doc on him and he is such a horrible person.

He likes to get into Twitter arguments with his wife (who he married when she was 17)

(This is a 30 year old man)

# ? Dec 31, 2015 14:26

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

watho posted:

That didn't really define that episode though. It was mostly people trying to one-up each other with how little they even knew about sex. "I'm so asexual that I don't even know what porn is, I thought my friend was talking about something called 'cornography'".

In hindsight, I think I might have been conflating it with the childfree episode. :blush:

Kaiju Cage Match posted:

Is Onision F-Plus material? I've been thinking about making a doc on him and he is such a horrible person.

He likes to get into Twitter arguments with his wife (who he married when she was 17)

(This is a 30 year old man)

That... might be one for Lou.

Sham bam bamina! fucked around with this message at 20:03 on Dec 31, 2015

# ? Dec 31, 2015 20:00

Sinestro: Oct 31, 2010; The perfect day needs the perfect set of wheels.

watho posted:

People who make trigger jokes tend to be the people who sincerely are afraid of cultural Marxism and call people "cucks".

I'm glad that you have such an amazing power of judgement. I've made trigger jokes and I'm not a big fan of cultural Marxism, where should I report to be reeducated into a Trump voter?

# ? Dec 31, 2015 21:19

Seagull: Oct 9, 2012; give me a chip

Kaiju Cage Match posted:

Is Onision F-Plus material? I've been thinking about making a doc on him and he is such a horrible person.

He likes to get into Twitter arguments with his wife (who he married when she was 17)

(This is a 30 year old man)

what the gently caress is this

# ? Dec 31, 2015 21:28

Kaiju Cage Match: Nov 5, 2012

Seagull posted:

what the gently caress is this

A very crazy person.

Speaking of crazy people, which episode featured the ramblings of the guy who claimed Selena Gomez and Kim Kardashian jabbed him with an HIV-filled syringe in a CVS parking lot and that every iPhone has a small piece of his DNA?

# ? Dec 31, 2015 22:02

Spaced God: Feb 8, 2014; All torment, trouble, wonder and amazement
Inhabits here: some heavenly power guide us
Out of this fearful country!

Kaiju Cage Match posted:

A very crazy person.

Speaking of crazy people, which episode featured the ramblings of the guy who claimed Selena Gomez and Kim Kardashian jabbed him with an HIV-filled syringe in a CVS parking lot and that every iPhone has a small piece of his DNA?

Johnathan Lee Riches. Episode 80

# ? Dec 31, 2015 22:09

Kaiju Cage Match: Nov 5, 2012

Spaced God posted:

Johnathan Lee Riches. Episode 80

Thanks!

# ? Dec 31, 2015 22:10

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Sinestro posted:

I'm glad that you have such an amazing power of judgement. I've made trigger jokes and I'm not a big fan of cultural Marxism, where should I report to be reeducated into a Trump voter?

Cultural marxism is a comspiracy theory that states that the jews are using gay marriage to control america because communism (also a jewish plot) fell.

# ? Dec 31, 2015 23:03

Deformed Church: May 12, 2012; 5'5", IQ 81

Spaced God posted:

Johnathan Lee Riches. Episode 80

My first episode :allears:

# ? Dec 31, 2015 23:16

Sinestro: Oct 31, 2010; The perfect day needs the perfect set of wheels.

Improbable Lobster posted:

Cultural marxism is a comspiracy theory that states that the jews are using gay marriage to control america because communism (also a jewish plot) fell.

I don't know about that kind of weird far-right bullshit, I was talking about actual Marxist critical theory. I guess I'm a LaRouchite now. :confused:

# ? Dec 31, 2015 23:33

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Sinestro posted:

I don't know about that kind of weird far-right bullshit, I was talking about actual Marxist critical theory. I guess I'm a LaRouchite now.

Sorry. Someone will be by soon with a roll of tinfoil and a coupon for 50% off your next purchase of ammunition.

# ? Dec 31, 2015 23:38

watho: Aug 2, 2013; The real world will, again tomorrow, function and run without me.

Sinestro posted:

I don't know about that kind of weird far-right bullshit, I was talking about actual Marxist critical theory. I guess I'm a LaRouchite now.

The phrase "cultural Marxism" was coined by the actual nazis and popularized by Anders Breivik's manifesto. It's about as far right as you can get. Part of me wanted to throw together a doc of the absolutely insane conspiracy theorists around like reddit and such but it ended up being way more depressing than funny.

# ? Dec 31, 2015 23:43