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I had no idea the EU was full of so much garbage . I'm actually glad Disney burned that poo poo to the ground, Thrawn be damned.
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Jan 3, 2016 02:22
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The only part of the EU i'm gonna cry about are the KOTOR games. Because holy crap everyone needs to play the KOTOR games if you have any interest in Star Wars outside the original trilogy.
BigRed0427 fucked around with this message at 02:32 on Jan 3, 2016 |
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Jan 3, 2016 02:26
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My favorite dumb EU thing is comparatively minor (I mean, I guess compared to hivemind bug orgies and giant otters and poo poo), but it's the fact that the dude in the Mos Eisley cantina who boasts that he has the death sentence on 12 systems is in fact 100% telling the truth, is actually some kind of galactic supervillain Frankenstein mad doctor, and to top it off, the butt-faced guy who gets his arm lopped off is totally his BFF and partner in crime.
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Jan 3, 2016 03:15
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BigRed0427 posted:The only part of the EU i'm gonna cry about are the KOTOR games. Because holy crap everyone needs to play the KOTOR games if you have any interest in Star Wars outside the original trilogy. Eh, even Kotor would have been better as a stand alone Sci-fi RPG.
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Jan 3, 2016 03:27
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It's funny because io9 just published an article on which EU materials deserve to be re-canonized because they more-or-less fit into the new Episode VI-VII timeline with minimal editing. Unsurprisingly it's stuff like the Thwarn and Jedi Academy trilogies, Shadows of the Empire, The Courtship of Princess Leia, X-Wing: Rogue Squadron, The Truce at Bakura, and Darth Plagueis. Basically the stuff everyone already acknowledges as the good Star Wars EU.
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Jan 3, 2016 03:27
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How is/What is Shadows of The Empire? My only exposure to it was the N64 game which for it's time was a must have I think.
BigRed0427 fucked around with this message at 03:34 on Jan 3, 2016 |
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Jan 3, 2016 03:29
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BigRed0427 posted:How is Shadows of The Empire? My only exposure to it was the N64 game which for it's time was a must have I think. Well, I don't wanna brag, but it's actually a pretty fun story, especially when you take the entirety of the multimedia project LucasFilm commissioned into consideration. You can take this whatever way you'd like to, but George Lucas is on record as saying that if he had the time and money to do it back in the mid-90s he would have actually made Shadows of the Empire into an actual movie if he wasn't busy ramping up for the prequels. Personally, I think it's just as well we didn't get that promised movie, considering what we got with I II and III. Edit: Shadows of the Empire, for the curious, is basically "Episode V.5". It's set in the time between Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi and tells what happens to Luke, Leia, Chewie, and Lando as they try to track down Boba Fett and retrieve Han Solo's carbonite block before he's turned over to Jabba the Hutt. At the same time, a dude named Prince Xizor, head of the Black Sun criminal organization, makes a power play with the Emperor to subplant Vader as Palpatine's favorite lackey. He puts a hit out on Luke Skywalker because he knows Luke is Vader's son (Palpatine literally tells him just to be an rear end in a top hat to Vader) knowing that if Luke is killed instead of turned to the Dark Side, Palpy will be pissed at Vader for failing him. There's also a guy named Dash Rendar in there somewhere, but he's not important. The story was told concurrently through the tentpole novel, the N64 video game (which told Dash's side of things), and a set of comics published by Dark Horse as well. There was even an official soundtrack scored for the novel with an actual orchestra that treated it as if it basically was a movie score. nine-gear crow fucked around with this message at 03:43 on Jan 3, 2016 |
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Jan 3, 2016 03:38
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nine-gear crow posted:It's funny because io9 just published an article on which EU materials deserve to be re-canonized because they more-or-less fit into the new Episode VI-VII timeline with minimal editing. Unsurprisingly it's stuff like the Thwarn and Jedi Academy trilogies, Shadows of the Empire, The Courtship of Princess Leia, X-Wing: Rogue Squadron, The Truce at Bakura, and Darth Plagueis. Basically the stuff everyone already acknowledges as the good Star Wars EU. Haha, the Jedi Academy Trilogy (the original appearance of both Admiral Daala and the Sun Crusher) and the Courtship of Princess Leia (which infamously features a scene in which Han shoots Leia with a mind control gun and gets her to come with her to visit a planet he won her in a card game) are terrible. BigRed0427 posted:How is/What is Shadows of The Empire? My only exposure to it was the N64 game which for it's time was a must have I think. The bad guy's motivation is that he really, really wants to shag Princess Leia. His breath is an aphrodisiac.
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Jan 3, 2016 03:39
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nine-gear crow posted:There's also a guy named Dash Rendar in there somewhere, but he's not important. Dash Rendar would disagree with you.
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Jan 3, 2016 03:47
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I do have the book and the N64 cart somewhere. Guess I should finally crack both open.nine-gear crow posted:At the same time, a dude named Prince Xizor, head of the Black Sun criminal organization, makes a power play with the Emperor to subplant Vader as Palpatine's favorite lackey. He puts a hit out on Luke Skywalker because he knows Luke is Vader's son (Palpatine literally tells him just to be an rear end in a top hat to Vader) I love this, because it further drives home my personal pet theory about Star Wars: Emperor Palpatine is a loving idiot.
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Jan 3, 2016 03:59
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Wheat Loaf posted:Haha, the Jedi Academy Trilogy (the original appearance of both Admiral Daala and the Sun Crusher) and the Courtship of Princess Leia (which infamously features a scene in which Han shoots Leia with a mind control gun and gets her to come with her to visit a planet he won her in a card game) are terrible. Truce at Bakura is also pretty bad. It's basically a Star Trek episode in Star Wars, which doesn't really work. It's got some cool ideas to it (like how everyone of course didn't just immediately join the rebellion after ROTJ) and being one of the first books I remember with very sympathetic and likable Imperials. Hell, even the alien badguys are pretty neat in their own way (they never invented intelligence machines. Instead they use a soul sucker to put minds into special circuits) but the whole thing just doesn't come together in a way that feels like a Star Wars story. Mokinokaro fucked around with this message at 04:07 on Jan 3, 2016 |
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Jan 3, 2016 04:04
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Mokinokaro posted:Truce at Bakura is also pretty bad. It's basically a Star Trek episode in Star Wars, which doesn't really work. It's one of the ones that's not very good but I sort of like it anyway because it was one of the first ones I read when I was younger. I mean, a lot of the Bantam era EU is loving stupid but it's stupid in a sort of charming way a lot of the time. On one hand you had Darksabers and Sun Crushers and Luke falling in love with a Jedi trapped in an Imperial supercomputer who transfers her essence into the body of one of his students so she can sleep with him, but then you get to the Del Rey era and it's just people killing each other and everyone going to the dark side and ham-handedly referencing the prequel trilogy and virtually every victory seems pyrrhic, and it just isn't any fun.
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Jan 3, 2016 04:21
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Who the hell is the professional writer that decided the world needed to know about how budgetary restraints made it so that Darth Vader's suit is a literal walking pile of garbage? And that his helmet is shiny so that the Emperor wouldn't notice all the shortcuts they took? How would you even work that detail into a story? And I thought putting trade negotiations in Star Wars was dumb.
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Jan 3, 2016 05:08
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Mokinokaro posted:Hell, even the alien badguys are pretty neat in their own way (they never invented intelligence machines. Instead they use a soul sucker to put minds into special circuits) but the whole thing just doesn't come together in a way that feels like a Star Wars story.
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Jan 3, 2016 05:30
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Wheat Loaf posted:The bad guy's motivation is that he really, really wants to shag Princess Leia. His breath is an aphrodisiac. She overcomes his pheromones by sheer willpower and responds to his seduction attempts by kneeing him in the crotch. *plays Star Wars theme*
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Jan 3, 2016 06:10
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WampaLord posted:She overcomes his pheromones by sheer willpower and responds to his seduction attempts by kneeing him in the crotch. The best part is that you can also imagine this being Han's first unsuccessful pick-up attempt too.
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Jan 3, 2016 06:11
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WampaLord posted:She overcomes his pheromones by sheer willpower and responds to his seduction attempts by kneeing him in the crotch.  
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Jan 3, 2016 06:25
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Augus posted:Who the hell is the professional writer that decided the world needed to know about how budgetary restraints made it so that Darth Vader's suit is a literal walking pile of garbage? And that his helmet is shiny so that the Emperor wouldn't notice all the shortcuts they took? How would you even work that detail into a story? And I thought putting trade negotiations in Star Wars was dumb. I actually really really want to know this.
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Jan 3, 2016 07:52
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I liked the trilogy of books that covered Han Solo's backstory. It was pretty cool, he was a street urchin taken in by a space Artful Dodger guy and he is raised by a motherly Wookie, who ultimately helps him escape the Dodger and he ends up on some weird planet run by the Hutts and some horse aliens who use psychic mood altering weirdness to create a death cult or something. The second book has Boba Fett in it and it gives him a real name and a backstory that a certain rear end in a top hat decided to ignore when he made his stupid movie. Third book is kind of meh but it does neatly bring Han to the events of the film and it actually has Jabba as a main character with some development and stuff. EDIT: Jabba is basically the Stringer Bell of his crime syndicate.
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Jan 3, 2016 07:56
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BottledBodhisvata posted:I liked the trilogy of books that covered Han Solo's backstory. It was pretty cool, he was a street urchin taken in by a space Artful Dodger guy and he is raised by a motherly Wookie, who ultimately helps him escape the Dodger and he ends up on some weird planet run by the Hutts and some horse aliens who use psychic mood altering weirdness to create a death cult or something. The early 1980s Han Solo books by Brian Daley are also quite good. Han and Chewie and a couple of droids make trouble out on the fringe. Please note that the EU contains both literal mermaids and literal centaurs.
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Jan 3, 2016 09:57
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Yardbomb posted:"The monitoring panel beeped frequently, and for no reason." Rich's expressions as he hears this stuff are so great. It's sad that so little of the really goofy fanfic stuff made it into the prequels.
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Jan 3, 2016 11:25
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Wheat Loaf posted:The bad guy's motivation is that he really, really wants to shag Princess Leia. His breath is an aphrodisiac. His second in command is a blonde sex robot that looks exactly like a human
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Jan 3, 2016 11:53
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bbf2 posted:His second in command is a blonde sex robot that looks exactly like a human She's super fast and strong too, and Luke fights her in a building that's about to explode because she taunts him with "Want a real challenge, Jedi?" He wins, doesn't kill her, and then it's implied she escapes and gives up her programmed life of crime. I have read so many of the Star Wars books, y'all. 
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Jan 3, 2016 14:06
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WampaLord posted:I have read so many of the Star Wars books, y'all. I wonder how we ever could have guessed with a name like "Wampa Lord".
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Jan 3, 2016 14:20
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I like the one where Luke takes his girlfriend (the one who's the disembodied consciousness of an Old Republic Jedi he met when she was trapped in an Imperial supercomputer and subsequently transferred into the body of one of his students) to Hoth to help her recover her connection to the Force, and they come across a party of wampa-hunters who are besieged by a huge horde of wampas which are under the command of the same wampa Lule dismembered in ESB, which we must assume has been waiting for about 10 years for its chance to take revenge.
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Jan 3, 2016 14:22
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Wheat Loaf posted:I like the one where Luke takes his girlfriend (the one who's the disembodied consciousness of an Old Republic Jedi he met when she was trapped in an Imperial supercomputer and subsequently transferred into the body of one of his students) to Hoth to help her recover her connection to the Force, and they come across a party of wampa-hunters who are besieged by a huge horde of wampas which are under the command of the same wampa Lule dismembered in ESB, which we must assume has been waiting for about 10 years for its chance to take revenge. Wampas lust only for revenge Testekill fucked around with this message at 14:27 on Jan 3, 2016 |
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Jan 3, 2016 14:24
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Testekill posted:Wampas lust only for revenge "Hoth calls for wetwork, and we answer. No greater good, no just cause".
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Jan 3, 2016 15:56
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I am laughing so much reading all of these stupid EU plots. I live for this kinda poo poo.
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Jan 3, 2016 17:37
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 This is an image from the Glove of Darth Vader / Jedi Prince series, published in the early 1990s for young readers. It depicts Grand Moff Hissa reading from a Dark Side Bible supplied by the Church of the Dark Side as he officiates a wedding between Triocolus, an imposter pretending to be the three-eyed bastard son of Emperor Palpatine (whose actual three-eyed bastard son, Triclops, was confined to a mental institution planet when the Emperor decided that his pacifism was a mental illness) and a robot duplicate of Princess Leia. Said series also featured a scene in which the bad guys decide to temporarily abandon their quest for the titular Glove of Darth Vader because they want to go and poach the endangered species on a planet they are passing.
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Jan 3, 2016 17:59
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When I was a kid an older friend of mine convinced me that Solo's Revenge was a sequel to Star Wars that George Lucas commissioned from Sergio Leone for the Italian market. Harrison Ford came back but everyone else was recast and all we got in America was a novelization, but the cover was the poster image: Even as a dumbass kid you couldn't have convinced me that Han Solo would fight an otter or that the Emperor's three-eyed pacifist son would marry robot Princess Leia.
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Jan 3, 2016 19:03
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Fossilized Rappy posted:You forgot to note that they are literally Jurassic Park-style raptors as well. Tis true,  And you left out the part where the only reason the Raptors know about the Star Wars part of the Galaxy is that Palpatine lured them over with the promise of souls, because he really, really wanted to see if he could use there soul sucking tech to live forever. But of course he died and never bothered to tell anyone about the Dino fleet coming over to munch on some souls he promised them.
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Jan 3, 2016 19:43
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Major news about Linkara.
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Jan 3, 2016 19:44
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His wedding vows better include at least one utterly ridiculous skit. If they don't, what's even the point?
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Jan 3, 2016 19:47
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Countdown to the people who made transphobic comments at him before, now making racist comments at him. Except they probably already beat me to that because people are dumb.
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Jan 3, 2016 20:02
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Jsor posted:His wedding vows better include at least one utterly ridiculous skit. If they don't, what's even the point? Priest: If anyone knows why these two should not be wed, speak now, or forever hold your peace. Hooded man in back row: I know a reason. HE ISN'T LINKARA! {throws off hood to reveal the real Linkara!} Groom: drat you flesh bag! {voice goes back to mechanical tone} MECHAKARA WILL HAVE HIS VENGEANCE!!!! Viga: You're forgetting one thing, Metal face. {draws magic blaster from garter belt} Now you're dealing with a team. BATTLE!!!!
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Jan 3, 2016 20:11
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This is actually just keyfabe for a storyline homaging Power Rangers Samurai episode "There Go the Brides".
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Jan 3, 2016 20:19
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Yardbomb posted:"The monitoring panel beeped frequently, and for no reason." Someday, I aspire to steal this concept for something -- anything -- I write. It might be an examination of gambling law in Rhode Island, but I'll work it in there.
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Jan 3, 2016 20:42
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Well good for him. He seems like a nice guy and I hope the best for him. Wish he could get through a review without shouting though.
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Jan 3, 2016 20:44
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I really hope Linkara makes 2016 the year of terrible event comics and does a bunch in the style of his Identity Crisis/Countdown/Ultimatum reviews. There are so many he can do but I personally wanna see him look at the incomprehensible Final Crisis, Civil War (it'd be topical too!), and the extremely unpleasant and awful Blackest Night.
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Jan 3, 2016 23:34
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I guess a fat tumblr chick is a step up from Man Voice Forehead Girl
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Jan 3, 2016 23:42
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