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Khazar-khum posted:Crowning Moment of Awesome. Which is where this was lurking: This is one I've never seen before, and it was beautiful.
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Jan 12, 2016 17:24
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Tracula posted:Can someone with a sexy voice do a dramatic reading of some of these things? Some of these really do need to be forwarded to F Plus.
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Jan 12, 2016 17:26
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 No one clapped, never happened
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Jan 12, 2016 18:04
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Heh I remember that story but had forgotten the Italian cheese and tomato bread part 
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Jan 12, 2016 18:19
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Fathis Munk posted:Heh I remember that story but had forgotten the Italian cheese and tomato bread part Yeah, what is that, a dig at people who like pizza? Or was the writer just looking in a thesaurus anytime she repeated a word? Oh well, at least in this fat fantasy, no one was assaulted.
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Jan 12, 2016 18:30
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cash crab posted:
This poo poo is like a thousand levels of bad, and it makes me want to punch something. Here's what probably happened (if any of this happened, the hardest part to accept might be a fat activist actually going to the gym): large girl with body image issues is using the elliptical on a low setting when she sees a fit or not-fat attractive girl eating a slice of pizza next to some mirrors. There's maybe an attractive dude with a beard somewhere. The only true part of this story is that she later attended the pizza party.
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Jan 12, 2016 18:46
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Tracula posted:Can someone with a sexy voice do a dramatic reading of some of these things? cash crab posted:
Eh, gave that one a whirl. Disclaimer: my voice may not in fact be all that sexy. 
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Jan 12, 2016 18:50
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Verisimilidude posted:This poo poo is like a thousand levels of bad, and it makes me want to punch something. Here's what probably happened, large girl is using the elliptical when she sees a fit girl at the gym and then her imagination goes into over drive. Other than Planet Fitness, at what gym would you see pizza; and what truly fit person would ever use Planet Fitness?
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Jan 12, 2016 18:55
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Paladinus posted:Eh, gave that one a whirl. Disclaimer: my voice may not in fact be all that sexy. Not sexy at all. Could not keep an erection.
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Jan 12, 2016 18:57
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Indolent Bastard posted:Here's what probably happened, large girl is using the elliptical when she sees a fit girl at the gym and then her imagination goes into over drive. My fire fighter friend goes to a planet fitness because it's ten bucks a month and everyone is too afraid to lift weights
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Jan 12, 2016 19:01
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Zelder posted:My fire fighter friend goes to a planet fitness because it's ten bucks a month and everyone is too afraid to lift weights He is probably representative of 3% or less of PF users. How careful does he have to be to avoid the Lunk Alarm being hit?
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Jan 12, 2016 19:11
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Non Serviam posted:Not sexy at all. Could not keep an erection. Disagree
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Jan 12, 2016 19:30
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 tl;dr: 
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Jan 12, 2016 19:35
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^^^: What an epic humblebragPaladinus posted:Eh, gave that one a whirl. Disclaimer: my voice may not in fact be all that sexy. I loving love this. It sounds like you're reading this in a smoking jacket in front of a fire and a large book.
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Jan 12, 2016 19:40
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I'm sure that exceptional musician, mathematician and advanced learner is doing great things with their vast intelligence these days.
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Jan 12, 2016 19:46
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I like the idea that this women stood there mocking her for 15 mintues. These writers are always really bad at showing units of time.
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Jan 12, 2016 20:25
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OldMemes posted:I like the idea that this women stood there mocking her for 15 mintues. These writers are always really bad at showing units of time. I think it's because the longer the STDHer wallows in suffering, the more epic their comeback seems, and thus the louder the applause from the crowd of bystanders. Suffer long enough, and you get to marry Albert Einstein.
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Jan 12, 2016 20:30
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Paladinus posted:Eh, gave that one a whirl. Disclaimer: my voice may not in fact be all that sexy. I imagined it with a lot more heavy breathing but good job. The hash tag fade out was a perfect ending.
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Jan 12, 2016 20:37
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So was the guy like 9 feet tall since they could see his head behind a vending machine without seeing his body?
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Jan 12, 2016 20:47
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Paladinus posted:Eh, gave that one a whirl. Disclaimer: my voice may not in fact be all that sexy.  You sound like Finnish Ricky Gervais or something. What an unplaceable accent.Electrical Fire posted:So was the guy like 9 feet tall since they could see his head behind a vending machine without seeing his body? This reminded me of the infamous ZerglingMinor picture. 
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Jan 12, 2016 20:53
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Paladinus posted:Genre(s): Homestuck 
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Jan 12, 2016 20:53
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I just like the fact he was hiding behind a vending machine in the middle of a gym that serves pizza. He must be super skinny! And tall as pointed out.
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Jan 12, 2016 20:56
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Paladinus posted:Eh, gave that one a whirl. Disclaimer: my voice may not in fact be all that sexy. Thank you  Two things about that story. 1. At Planet Fitness I know it's a "judgement free zone" so the second you call someone fat you're out the loving door. 2. Anyone who goes there can you explain pizza day? I've seen that a few times now walking by one. Like 50+ pizza boxes stacked at everyone chowing down on greasy as poo poo pizza. I think it's a ploy to get new members possibly?
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Jan 12, 2016 21:04
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Anyone else ever tempted to write some made up story on the internet somewhere just to see if it makes it back to this thread eventually?
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Jan 12, 2016 21:23
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YeahTubaMike posted:This reminded me of the infamous ZerglingMinor picture. ? or do i want to know
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Jan 12, 2016 21:24
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I'm pretty sure that story is talking about one of those soda vending fountain things like you see on counters at fast food restaurants, not one of the giant ones that are always up against a wall.
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Jan 12, 2016 21:38
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Tracula posted:2. Anyone who goes there can you explain pizza day? I've seen that a few times now walking by one. Like 50+ pizza boxes stacked at everyone chowing down on greasy as poo poo pizza. I think it's a ploy to get new members possibly? It's because planet fitness is meant for people who are intimidated by big buff dudes at the gym (read: sissies) so they cater to babies who don't actually want to work out, they just want to be able to say "I went to the gym today" even though all they did was the elliptical at a low resistance until they broke a sweat. The pizza is part of the image. "Hey, fitness is important but not as important as being happy! You know what makes people happy? Pizza!" which utterly defeats the purpose because if you're indulging at the loving gym you're probably indulging everywhere else which makes exercise worthless. Edit: I would love to see someone reenact STDH in a video format. Verisimilidude has a new favorite as of 21:49 on Jan 12, 2016 |
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Jan 12, 2016 21:46
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sweeperbravo posted:? or do i want to know Zergling Minor was a giant goon who killed himself because of debilitating health problems (I think that was the reason) 
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Jan 12, 2016 21:58
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NESguerilla posted:Anyone else ever tempted to write some made up story on the internet somewhere just to see if it makes it back to this thread eventually? TG goons do it all the time by spreading false rumors about games. Admittedly it's a really niche trolling, so nobody who doesn't game will see it or care; but its great when a site posts some goony lies as being from "a trusted source". Verisimilidude posted:It's because planet fitness is meant for people who are intimidated by big buff dudes at the gym (read: sissies) so they cater to babies who don't actually want to work out, they just want to be able to say "I went to the gym today" even though all they did was the elliptical at a low resistance until they broke a sweat. The pizza is part of the image. "Hey, fitness is important but not as important as being happy! You know what makes people happy? Pizza!" which utterly defeats the purpose because if you're indulging at the loving gym you're probably indulging everywhere else which makes exercise worthless. The first pizza day was an apology to gym members when one location's showers were down for a couple of days. They saw how popular it was and took it up chain wide and expanded it to include bagel day.  It helps keep the kind of low effort no gains patron they want to see coming through the door. Indolent Bastard has a new favorite as of 22:03 on Jan 12, 2016 |
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Jan 12, 2016 21:59
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I love how it's always bread, if it were blackened chicken breast or rare streak day I'd be all over that gym
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Jan 12, 2016 22:26
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Indolent Bastard posted:TG goons do it all the time by spreading false rumors about games. Admittedly it's a really niche trolling, so nobody who doesn't game will see it or care; but its great when a site posts some goony lies as being from "a trusted source". Look up 50 Foot Ant if you want some primo goon stdh.txt with his DnD stories.
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Jan 12, 2016 22:31
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Tracula posted:Look up 50 Foot Ant if you want some primo goon stdh.txt with his DnD stories. or that time he made an alt to pretend to be a girl who worked at a gun store in TFR
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Jan 12, 2016 22:34
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Keith Atherton posted:Zergling Minor was a giant goon who killed himself because of debilitating health problems (I think that was the reason) Yup.  SAclopedia entry: http://forums.somethingawful.com/dictionary.php?act=3&topicid=1705 Reddit thread, where he had a friend who was apparently a member: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/smkcr/what_burdens_do_you_carry_with_you_prepare_the/c4f94lo
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Jan 12, 2016 23:34
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Alaois posted:or that time he made an alt to pretend to be a girl who worked at a gun store in TFR Holy poo poo this is news to me. I think his DnD stories were part of why I originally joined SA.
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Jan 12, 2016 23:35
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okay which one of you posted thisTumblr posted:wow I can’t believe what just happened to me.
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Jan 13, 2016 00:57
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Steven Universe jorts
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Jan 13, 2016 01:30
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I have the most posts in this thread, yet have posted the least content, both in quantity and quality  Here, a content: quote:Providing Assistant Manager Assistance I mean I too have fantasized about sticking up for an abused employee having worked in retail myself, but actually seeing these, it always just sounds so sad and trite. And self-congratulatory
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Jan 13, 2016 02:29
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sweeperbravo posted:I have the most posts in this thread, yet have posted the least content, both in quantity and quality If this happened (it didn't) the manager would just be even more mad at the employee.
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Jan 13, 2016 02:55
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 From the imgur front page Self promotion by shooting down strawmen. Bold.
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Jan 13, 2016 03:44
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Paladinus posted:Eh, gave that one a whirl. Disclaimer: my voice may not in fact be all that sexy. This is funny purely because the story was from the perspective of a woman and now this is how I imagine she sounds.
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Jan 13, 2016 04:52
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