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foobardog
Apr 19, 2007

There, now I can tell when you're posting.

-- A friend :)
Holy poo poo, this election. :psyduck:

Jackson is Jackson. Can't really move to a better society without a more modern economy that isn't based on slave trade, the bank is better than the states handling monetary affairs, and he doesn't care about liberty at all. And he hates non-white people.

Clay is not bad as a moderate, honestly, but is completely untrustworthy on a "don't gently caress non-white people" platform.

Floyd sounds as good as you can get on slavery in this election, but is naive if he doesn't see the main push for nullification is to bolster slavery.

Wirt's not bad policy wise, and he's not about to drop into crazy freemason conspiracy theory territory, but definitely the party backing him will.

Eh, Wirt. Clay would probably be a more strategic choice in this election in real life, but I'm going with my heart.

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Goatse James Bond
Mar 28, 2010

If you see me posting please remind me that I have Charlie Work in the reports forum to do instead

QuoProQuid posted:


Congratulations on voting for Adams/Clay's astroturf group.

An Adams astroturf group is an astroturf group you can trust.

Edit: also, we can Make This Country Great Again on the backs of expendable Germans. :colbert:

Goatse James Bond has issued a correction as of 04:28 on Feb 1, 2016

Corek
May 11, 2013

by R. Guyovich

karmicknight posted:

If only Martin Van Buren was running on his lonesome, with the corpse of whoever beat Jackson to the nomination, obviously.

Instead I must defend the American System and vote for Henry Clay.

Just wait until Van Buren/Adams run on an abolitionist platform

Ibogaine
Aug 11, 2015

GreyjoyBastard posted:

An Adams astroturf group is an astroturf group you can trust.

Edit: also, we can Make This Country Great Again on the backs of expendable Germans. :colbert:

Since I am German and I am surrounded by Krauts all day long, I agree that more of them should be deported to unviable swampy colonies.

Also: You don't get the chance to fight the masons with your vote every day. So, Wirt it is!

Ibogaine has issued a correction as of 09:00 on Feb 1, 2016

Capfalcon
Apr 6, 2012

No Boots on the Ground,
Puny Mortals!

Somehow, the person talking about discriminating against private associations his party doesn't like is the least tyrannical of the bunch.

People are weird.

frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade

Ibogaine posted:

Since I am German and I am surrounded by Krauts all day long, I agree that more of them should be deported to unviable swampy colonies.
:agreed: Vote Wirt!

Pakled
Aug 6, 2011

WE ARE SMART
I believe Henry Clay is a trustworthy chap, but more importantly, I hope the attempted assassination on Jackson that historically happened in 1835 (and failed under hilariously improbable circumstances) actually happens to him and succeeds, so we can get Sergeant in office, who is clearly the best.

CuwiKhons
Sep 24, 2009

Seven idiots and a bear walk into a dragon's lair.

If nothing else, Henry Clay won't beat the assassin with his cane like Jackson did.

QuoProQuid
Jan 12, 2012

Tr*ckin' and F*ckin' all the way to tha
T O P

Gentlemen*, the pro-Jacksonian Press would like to make you aware of the benefits that you might incur under a Jackson Administration. They have published the following "satirical" pieces for your amusement and to show just how Jackson plans to deal with the Establishment.

* In 1807, New Jersey became the last state to repeal women's suffrage. It would not be until the Seneca Falls Convention that women's suffrage would again become a major issue.



THE DOCTORS PUZZLED, OR THE DESPARATE CASE OF MOTHER U.S. BANK

MOTHER BANK: Oh dear! Nick, I am dreadfully sick.

BIDDLE, PRESIDENT OF THE BANK (holding Mother Bank's head): It's... that Doctor Jackson. This is the effect of his last prescription!

CLAY: What do you say to the application of my patent American System?

CALHOUN: Doctor your American System won't do here. Desperate cases require desperate remedies, a few of the leaden pills of Nullification and some blood taken will suffice.

MAJOR JACK DOWNING, SATIRIST (from window): Why General, I never know'd You was a Doctor before!

JACKSON (from window): No more I ain't Major Downing but I've read the American Family Physician and know what kind of a dose to give to clean out a foul stomach!



OLD JACK, THE FAMOUS NEW ORLEANS MOUSER, CLEARING UNCLE SAM'S BARN OF BANK AND CLAY RATS;

CLAY (depicted as mouse being eaten by Jackson): Oh God, my case is desperate!

BIDDLE, PRESIDENT OF THE BANK (depicted as mouse under Jackson's claw): Them damned Clay-Bank Rats brought me to this!

UNCLE SAM: Bravo my Boys! keep him in the Barn; and no doubt, but he will keep the Rats away.

OrangeKing
Dec 5, 2002

They do play in October!
I shall cast my lot for Wirt! Until and unless I think he can't win, of course. And with the speed news travels at and the accuracy of polling in 1832, I'm sure I'll have plenty of time to make this decision!

foobardog
Apr 19, 2007

There, now I can tell when you're posting.

-- A friend :)
You skipped over whatever 1832 Dr. House with his cane is saying there.

"I wonder how a few grains of Common Sense washed down with Boston Particular would do?"

Listen to House, dammit.

Though I assume that Jackson's plan is to just shoot her in the stomach and call it a day.

QuoProQuid
Jan 12, 2012

Tr*ckin' and F*ckin' all the way to tha
T O P

foobardog posted:

You skipped over whatever 1832 Dr. House with his cane is saying there.

"I wonder how a few grains of Common Sense washed down with Boston Particular would do?"

Listen to House, dammit.

Though I assume that Jackson's plan is to just shoot her in the stomach and call it a day.

I believe that is the Massachusetts upstart and Presidential aspirant Daniel Webster.

And, for those of you paying attention, Mother Bank is vomiting into Aaron Burr's Manhattan Bank, which will eventually become a central pillar of the modern JPMorgan Chase & Co.

foobardog
Apr 19, 2007

There, now I can tell when you're posting.

-- A friend :)

QuoProQuid posted:

I believe that is the Massachusetts upstart and Presidential aspirant Daniel Webster.

Why that man is such a good attorney, he could win a case against the Devil Himself!

Corek
May 11, 2013

by R. Guyovich

QuoProQuid posted:

And, for those of you paying attention, Mother Bank is vomiting into Aaron Burr's Manhattan Bank, which will eventually become a central pillar of the modern JPMorgan Chase & Co.

Burr killing Hamilton again :argh:

QuoProQuid
Jan 12, 2012

Tr*ckin' and F*ckin' all the way to tha
T O P

Corek posted:

Burr killing Hamilton again :argh:

Oh, Hamilton will die many more times before this project is over.

Speaking of which, the very last Federalist to hold a major political office has just been forced to step down as Mayor of Boston. And so, Hamilton's party officially dies.

RagnarokAngel
Oct 5, 2006

Black Magic Extraordinaire
Wirt it is. Tired of those drat freemasons.

karmicknight
Aug 21, 2011

QuoProQuid posted:

Oh, Hamilton will die many more times before this project is over.

Speaking of which, the very last Federalist to hold a major political office has just been forced to step down as Mayor of Boston. And so, Hamilton's party officially dies.

Well, at least we Hamiltonians still have:

The Federalist Party
The Bank of the United States
Vermont
National Debt
No Term Limits
Neutrality
American System
The Treasury Department
Revenue Cutter Service
The Fight Against Slavery
gently caress the South

Corek
May 11, 2013

by R. Guyovich

The current governor of Vermont, William A. Palmer, is an Anti-Mason. It hasn't had a Federalist (or former Federalist) governor since 1815.

Pakled
Aug 6, 2011

WE ARE SMART
Anti-Masons are crypro-federalists, given how they eventually merged into the Whig Party.

Octatonic
Sep 7, 2010

Hey hey, anti-masons are crypto-nothing. We are real, truthful citizens who have had enough of the cryptography and related deciets of those elitist, scummy probably-apostates.

Abner Cadaver II
Apr 21, 2009

TONIGHT!

Octatonic posted:

Hey hey, anti-masons are crypto-nothing. We are real, truthful citizens who have had enough of the cryptography and related deciets of those elitist, scummy probably-apostates.

them and their revellings :argh:

SolTerrasa
Sep 2, 2011

Abner Cadaver II posted:

them and their revellings :argh:


And Mexico will pay for it! :argh:

Vavrek
Mar 2, 2013

I like your style hombre, but this is no laughing matter. Assault on a police officer. Theft of police property. Illegal possession of a firearm. FIVE counts of attempted murder. That comes to... 29 dollars and 40 cents. Cash, cheque, or credit card?

Octatonic posted:

I will not stand for this kind of left-handed insult. The AMINO question is essential to building our body politic. In this very thread you see accusations that we are merely a synthetic group of reactionaries, propped up by the very same Masons that are behind the dissolution of our still young country. If we are to succeed, we need someone who can form bonds. Someone with pep. The tides of this battle can yet be turned, but I don't know if this is the man to do it.

lysine

Hmmm, this sounds interesting. Please, tell me more.

Lord of Pie posted:

quote:

Wirt wrote a letter to the convention stating that he found Freemasonry unobjectionable and that in his experience many Masons were "intelligent men of high and honourable character" who would never choose Freemasonry above "their duties to their God and country".
:siren:AMINO:siren:
This Wirt fellow sounds quite reasonable! Particularly amongst the insanity that is the rest of this election. I think I'll vote for him.

Discendo Vox
Mar 21, 2013

We don't need to have that dialogue because it's obvious, trivial, and has already been had a thousand times.

Abner Cadaver II posted:

them and their revellings :argh:


That guy better not forget to move his tail or he's going to have a serious problem soon.

oystertoadfish
Jun 17, 2003

im the hoods with 'divorced' written on them

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

yo, gently caress freemasons

GlyphGryph
Jun 23, 2013

Down came the glitches and burned us in ditches and we slept after eating our dead.

Alfred P. Pseudonym posted:

yo, gently caress freemasons

Accomplish this by voting for the freemason.

Lycus
Aug 5, 2008

Half the posters in this forum have been made up. This website is a goddamn ghost town.
You fight fire with fire, and you fight freemasons with freemasons.

QuoProQuid
Jan 12, 2012

Tr*ckin' and F*ckin' all the way to tha
T O P

Lycus posted:

You fight fire with fire, and you fight freemasons with freemasons.



A SATIRE OF THE ANTI-MASONIC CONVENTION IN VALDIMOR

rear end: Mr. President I should like to know what course we are to pursue with regard to the Presidency. I hope no candidate will be entered who is not a "full blooded" Antimason. rather than vote for any other I will "run" for the office myself.

CAT: No secret societies!

PIG: ...I agree with my friend opposite. To save my own "Bacon" I would not vote for any man who would not go the "Whole Hog" for Antimasonry.

DOG: ...I'm not used to many words. I never spin out a long yarn without getting into a "snarl." I've only to say, that since I have em"barked" in this business I am resolved to go the hull figure.

foobardog
Apr 19, 2007

There, now I can tell when you're posting.

-- A friend :)
The masons were protecting us from the furries all along!

Mantis42
Jul 26, 2010

That kind of unfunny slander could only be written by a lizard man in human skin.

i say swears online
Mar 4, 2005

I use the phrase "go whole hog" :shobon:

QuoProQuid
Jan 12, 2012

Tr*ckin' and F*ckin' all the way to tha
T O P

Thank you for voting in the Election of 1836. Despite the secret machinations of the Freemasons and their devilish master, William Wirt and his party have succeeded. Around the country, local anti-masons are burning effigies of Jackson in celebration and ransacking local lodges. Spaghetti bakes around the country have been cancelled and prominent Masons, like Clay, have been forced into hiding. He may soon be hanged by an angry mob. Newly elected Vice President Amos Ellmaker has assured the country that these men cannot hide for long.

In other news, John Quincy Adams has been seen pacing around his manor in a daze. Though an avid proponent of the Anti-Masons before the election, Adams has reportedly been heard murmuring “What hath God wrought?” repeatedly to himself.

RESULTS BREAKDOWN:

Most Popular Ticket:

William Wirt / Amos Ellmaker (Anti-Masonic) - 47 votes (58%)
Henry Clay / John Sergeant (National Republican) - 18 votes (22.2%)
Andrew Jackson / Martin Van Buren (Democratic) - 11 votes (13.6%)
John Floyd / Henry Lee (Independent Democrat) - 5 votes (6.2%)

QuoProQuid
Jan 12, 2012

Tr*ckin' and F*ckin' all the way to tha
T O P

ELECTION OF 1836
:siren: Click here to vote in the Election of 1836! :siren:


Background:

After smashing almost every other precedent, Andrew Jackson surprised the nation in 1836 by announcing that he would not run for the Presidency again, choosing to honor Washington’s two-term precedent. In his place, he offered Martin Van Buren, his famous albeit controversial Vice President. Though well-liked in the North, many Southerners feared that Van Buren intended to abuse his position to abolish slavery. With murmurings of sedition within the Democratic Party, the Whigs saw their chance.

The Whig Party, a continuation of Clay’s National Republicans, was still in its infancy when Andrew Jackson’s term was set to expire. Though the party prided itself on being fundamentally opposed to Andrew Jackson, the party had not yet determined how they would oppose Jackson or what particular policies they would embrace. For the North, the Whigs were seen as a fusion of the National Republicans and Anti-Masonic Parties, good northern reform movements committed to strong national government. For the South, the Whigs seemed like a vehicle for the Nullification movement, which Jackson had tried to stamp out of North Carolina. Others saw the party as a chance to air their personal grievances against Jackson, ignoring both Northern and Southern norms and running as Jacksonians except in name. Because of their lack of ideological unity, the Whigs have taken the unique strategy of nominating multiple candidates, hoping that these regional nominees might be enough to prevent Van Buren’s election.

Much like previous elections, the election is focused on Jacksonian democracy, the American System, and the American Bank. Though Jackson has succeeded in destroying the Bank and privatized its wealth, leading economists have warned that this policy will be economically disastrous. Even though the economy is booming, many Whigs consider it to be extremely unstable and warn that an economic crisis is on the horizon.

The Candidates:

DEMOCRATIC PARTY CANDIDATES:


Presidential Nominee: Martin Van Buren
  • Party Affiliation: Democratic Party
  • Notable Positions: Vice President of the United States, United States Ambassador to the United Kingdom, United States Secretary of State, Governor of New York, United States Senator from New York
  • Biography: A member of America’s insular Dutch community, Van Buren gained fame for his ability to interact with people from multiple, ethnic, income, and societal groups. An accomplished lawyer, political organizer, and multi-linguist, Van Buren first came to public attention at the age of 18, when he was selected as a delegate for the Democratic-Republican Party convention in Troy, New York. Afterward, Van Buren made a name for himself by leading the “Bucktails,” a faction dedicated to thwarting the corrupt Governor of New York, DeWitt Clinton, and his Erie Canal Project. In 1821, Van Buren joined the United States Senate, where he supported Andrew Jackson and avoided involving himself in the Corrupt Bargain. As a result, Jackson considers Van Buren a close friend. Calhoun’s attempts to destroy Van Buren’s career has only strengthened their partnership. Many partymen believe Van Buren will be Jackson’s successor.
  • Platform: Van Buren’s relationship with the American System is complicated, reflecting his often convoluted political alliances. When he was appointed to the United States Senate in 1821, it was because he had positioned himself as an opponent to DeWitt Clinton and his internal improvement programs. After joining, however, he aligned himself with Clay in supporting road repairs and canal construction. At one point in his career, Van Buren embraced Monroe’s recommendation that the Congress pass a constitutional amendment explicitly allowing internal improvement projects, before deciding that an amendment was unnecessary. Though he voted for tariffs in 1824 and 1828, he later abandoned protectionism in favor of free trade. In 1836, Van Buren stands as a loyal Jacksonite, firmly opposed to federally-funded internal improvement projects, the Bank of the United States, and the American System. He has announced that the national bank will be dead under his administration. He also sides with Jackson on the Indian Removal Act and in opposing Nullification. In foreign affairs, Van Buren supports closer ties with America’s traditional ally, France, and improved relations with the country as Secretary of State. He has also been ceaseless in his attempts to open up foreign markets to American goods and was integral in opening the Middle East to American trade. Though many fear that Van Buren is a crypto-abolitionist, Van Buren has sworn to do nothing that might threaten slavery. Though he considers it immoral, he believes that it is constitutionally sanctioned and dares not to threaten national unity over it. While Van Buren has opposed Jackson in the matter of replacing political appointees with loyal Jacksonians, Van Buren has secretly been filling the State Department with his personal allies.


Presidential Nominee:Richard M. Johnson
  • Party Affiliation: Democratic Party
  • Notable Positions: United States Representative from Kentucky, United States Senator from Kentucky
  • Biography: Born as the son of Kentucky’s wealthiest landowner, Richard Johnson and his family are an active part of the Democratic Party. A defender of the poor, a veteran of the War of 1812, and a fellow Kentuckian, Johnson has earned the admiration of Jackson despite the former’s controversial thirty-year long legislative career, which has seen him undertake crusades against powerful political interests. Much like his professional career, Johnson’s personal life has earned him intense ire. Since his father’s death, Johnson has openly cavorted with one of his slaves, treating her as his common law wife despite Kentucky’s laws against interracial relationships. Worse, he has raised two children of the relationship as his own, giving them his surname and demanding that they receive equal treatment within the community. For this breach of etiquette, the Democratic Party’s Southern faction has unsuccessfully tried to remove Johnson from the party and many have threatened to stop supporting the Democrats if Johnson is elected. Johnson is also known for his unusual interests and beliefs. Johnson believes the earth is hollow and has spent the last few years of his congressional career trying to secure funding for an expedition of the Earth’s core. He has dreams of opening a small tavern in his hometown.
  • Platform: Johnson is a Jacksonian and was explicitly placed on the ticket by Jackson, despite objections from the Southerners within the party. As such, Johnson considers himself a crusader of the poor and downtrodden. He has personally led the effort to end imprisonment for debt, freeing countless Americans from permanent incarceration, and has tried to increase the benefits given to widows, such as Elizabeth Schuyler Hamilton. After the Panic of 1819, Johnson proposed debt relief for affected families, welfare for the unemployed, and bankruptcy legislation to protect future individuals from similar calamities. He has also taken on more, controversial, initiatives to improve the effectiveness of government. In 1816, he proposed that Congress move from a per diem system, which encouraged delays and tedium, with an annual salary of $1,500. Though it passed, the bill caused mass public backlash and Congress returned to a per diem system after Johnson’s supporters were voted out of office. He also earned public ire for opposing a petition to stop mail deliveries on Sunday. Though a practicing Baptist, Johnson does not believe that government should legislate the tenets of any particular denomination and that the religiously-motivated petition would set a bad legal precedent. Johnson is a slaveowner, who considers slavery to be a political and moral necessity in most circumstances. Though previously known for using brutal tactics against Indians, Johnson hopes to re-educate Indians in “European-American values” so that they might have some participation in society. He opposes the national bank and Whig tariff policies.


Presidential Nominee: William Smith
  • Party Affiliation: Democratic Party
  • Notable Positions: United States Representative from South Carolina, United States Senator from South Carolina
  • Biography: William Smith is a minor South Carolina politician who joined the Democratic-Republican Party near its foundation. A true Southerner, Johnson was chosen to fill a vacancy left in the Senate in 1816. He is a relatively unknown figure whose only major contribution was his work on the Missouri Compromise on behalf of the South. He is a friend of Andrew Jackson.
  • Platform: William Smith is one of South Carolina’s few Jacksonians and a minor annoyance to the otherwise unchallenged John C. Calhoun. An opponent to nullification, William Smith supports Jackson’s use of military force to quell the potentially treasonous activities of his state. Otherwise, William Smith is a typical Southern politician. He opposes tariffs, internal improvements, and the national bank. He is an avid proponent of slavery. During the Missouri Compromise, William Smith argued that the institution was good for society. For this reason, William Smith has been adopted by Virginians as a protest against the unconventional Richard Johnson. Many see William as a conventional alternative to a man that openly fraternizes with his property.

WESTERN WHIG PARTY CANDIDATES:


Presidential Nominee:William Henry Harrison
  • Party Affiliation: Whig Party
  • Notable Positions: United States Ambassador to Colombia, United States Senator from Ohio, United States Representative from Ohio, Governor of the Indiana Territory, Secretary of the Northwest Territory
  • Biography: William Henry Harrison has often referred to himself as a “Child of the Revolution” because he is one of the few politicians old enough to remember the American Revolutionary War. The son of an elite Virginia family, Harrison grew up around figures like George Washington and Thomas Jefferson and witnessed first-hand much of the fighting to create a new nation during and after the Revolution. Inspired by what he saw, and knowing that he would not inherit any lands as his family’s youngest son, Harrison joined the military where he rapidly rose through the ranks for defending settlers against Indian incursions. In 1811, he became a national hero for defeating Tecumseh near the Tippecanoe River, despite being greatly outnumbered and unfamiliar with the land. For his prominence, Harrison has been given prominent positions along the frontier, such as Secretary of the Northwest Territory. From his position, he has portrayed himself as a defender of the West and tried to secure cheap land for American settlers.
  • Platform: Though an elite, Harrison is known as a leader of the frontier concerned for the public welfare of settlers across the former Northwest Territory. Throughout his career, Harrison has lobbied Congress to lower land prices and spearhead improvement projects over the Western states so that they might compete with the rest of the nation. He has also worked closely with local Indian tribes, negotiating the sale of tens of thousands of acres of land and has advocated on the behalf of slaveowners, claiming that slavery and indentured servitude in the Midwest would make it a more attractive location for settlement. A slaveowner himself, Harrison has tried to balance the interests of the North and South by supporting each state’s right to make a decision on the matter. The only issues that he believes should be nationalized is the prohibition on Freemasonry. Harrison believes the institution to be a “moral and political evil,” with its members serving dark and unknown purposes. Despite a long career, Harrison’s position on other issues is not well-known. He has spoken broadly on the need to resist imperialism by the executive branch, a common swipe at Jackson, and claimed that the veto power should only be used to stop unconstitutional laws. He has also made vague references to limiting presidential interference into the military and ensuring its independence. He is assumed to support re-establishing the Bank of the United States and the American System. Harrison is close to Clay and it can be assumed that Clay would have substantial influence on Harrison’s presidency.


Vice Presidential Nominee: Francis Granger
  • Party Affiliation: Whig Party
  • Notable Positions: United States Representative from New York, New York State Assemblyman
  • Biography: Granger is a New Englander in the mold of John Adams. A Yale graduate who pursued classical studies, Granger considers himself of common-sense government and opposed to the “democratic man” that Jackson represents. In that sense, Granger is very concerned with parliamentary procedure and is often seeking compromise to ensure a well-functioning government. He has a small family in New York.
  • Platform: Francis Granger first became prominent in New York politics as an Anti-Jacksonian, opposed to the radical reforms of Andrew Jackson and the Democratic Party. A “close friend of the American System,” Granger has blamed Jackson for the country’s ongoing economic turmoil, claiming that Jackson’s war with the Bank of the United States wreaked untold economic harm on the country. Unlike his running mate, Granger is a reformer and abolitionist who has used his position to promote the freeing of slaves nationwide. Granger believes that slavery is an evil institution and that the United States can only tolerate it if it becomes an issue of national unity. He does not seriously believe that the South would really secede over the issue, though. He views abolitionism to be tied to his crusade against Freemasonry and believes that the Freemasons are secretly supporting the institution. Granger briefly joined the Anti-Masonic Party briefly to support its 1832 run for the White House.

SOUTHERN WHIG PARTY CANDIDATES:


Presidential Nominee:Hugh Lawson White
  • Party Affiliation: Whig Party
  • Notable Positions: United States Senator from Tennessee, President pro tempore of the United States Senate
  • Biography: White is the son of a prominent Revolutionary War veteran, best known for his efforts to form a state out of eastern Tennessee and for leading the settlement of the Southwest Territory. Much like his father, White has spent his career as a common man. He has worked intensely, endured private tutoring by a local preacher, and fought during the Cherokee-American Wars when his town came under assault. For his diligence and hard work ethnic, White was appointed to Tennessee’s highest court, a position which he used to pole vault himself intothe state senate. There, White gained prominence for engineering anti-dueling legislation and for his economic conservatism. During the Panic of 1819, White’s bank was one of the very few institutions in Tennessee to survive. Since then, White has been elevated to a national position within the United States senate. There, he describes himself as a strict constitutionalist, arguing that the federal government should have no powers that are not explicitly described in the constitution.
  • Platform: Formerly one of Jackson’s closest friends and allies, White turned against Jackson over the Petticoat Affair, in which Jackson supported Eaton’s marriage against social elites, and Nullification, in which Jackson turned against the South’s notions of states rights. Arguing that the Presidency has gained too much power, White has joined the Whig Party to restore the South’s position of authority and to ensure the federal government abides by a strict constitutionalist interpretation of the Constitution. Nonetheless, he maintains most of the same positions that he did as a Jackson supporter. White opposes federal improvement projects, the national bank, and tariffs. He worked with Jackson to write the Indian Removal Act and considers the natives to be a threat that must be forcibly relocated or eliminated before they ravage the frontier. White is also an avid proponent of slavery who prevented the United States from attending the 1826 Congress of Panama over fears that the, largely slave-free, Latin American republics would pressure America into abolishing its “peculiar institution.” That decision, Johnson argues, should be a matter for each individual state and not something imposed by the federal government. Johnson supports American neutrality and believes that the country should avoid involvement with foreign states. In all other affairs, White considers himself an advocate of the people. He supported Jackson’s democratic reforms.


Vice Presidential Nominee: John Tyler
  • Party Affiliation: Whig Party
  • Notable Positions: United States Senator from Virginia, President pro tempore of the United States Senate, 23rd Governor of Virginia, United States Representative from Virginia
  • Biography: John Tyler is American gentry and a member of the First Families of Virginia. Wealthy and well-known, Tyler carries himself like a European aristocrat. He owns a tobacco plantation that is over one thousand acres large and controls dozens of slaves. His allies control prominent positions in local and state government, giving Tyler first pick of whatever position he or his family wants. From his power base in Virginia, Tyler has worked to thwart Clay and his efforts on the American System, believing it to be a direct threat to Virginia’s social structure. He is known as a defender of states’ liberties against federal tyranny and has only joined the Whig Party to better oppose the nationalists. His allies have raised him up as a revolutionary fighting against the oppression of “King Andrew.”
  • Platform: Tyler began his career with the Democratic Party as an uneasy ally to Andrew Jackson and now stands firmly opposed to his administration. During the Adams presidency, Tyler worked with Jackson to prevent the expansion of federal power. He voted and filibustered against bills related to internal improvements, feeling these bills were the responsibility of the individual states. He also worked to censure any politician who supported the Bank of the United States. With the help of Jackson, Tyler also made the fight for states’ rights go national, turning much of the country against what Tyler saw as illegitimate exercises of authority. After Jackson was elected, however, the two drifted apart. Tyler loathes Jackson’s support of the spoils system and the President’s use of recess appointments. More importantly, he vocally opposed Jackson’s use of military force against South Carolina as a way of ending the Nullification Crisis. Tyler sympathizes with the Southern nullifiers and hopes for a diplomatic solution to the crisis. While Tyler also opposes the national bank, he opposes Jackson’s use of executive orders to close the institution, considering it an unlawful use of authority. In sum, Tyler is a strict constitutionalist, opposed to Jackson personally and little else about his administration. He has almost nothing in common with the Whig Party and many suspect that he is using it as a vehicle to further his political career. In foreign affairs, Taylor is a believer in free trade and expansionism. He has ambitions about expanding the United States into Mexico.

NEW ENGLAND WHIG PARTY CANDIDATES:


Presidential Nominee: Daniel Webster
  • Party Affiliation: Whig Party
  • Notable Positions: United States Representative from New Hampshire, United States Representative from Massachusetts, United States Senator from Massachusetts,
  • Biography: Daniel Webster is one of the most famous orators and legislators in the country, standing with Clay and Calhoun as one of the most influential men in the country. Born in Salisbury, New Hampshire to a small farming family, Webster quickly distinguished himself in his community for his intense interest in law and education. He has been hailed as the leading constitutional scholar of his generation and has argued over 200 cases before the Supreme Court. He is also renowned for his public speaking ability and has won many over to the cause of nationalism through his speeches alone. Though raised an ardent Federalist, and one of the last remaining Federalists still in government in 1828, Webster left his old party to support John Quincy Adams and oppose Jackson and his run for the presidency.
  • Platform: Webster is one of the most prominent champions of strong federal government in the country, standing alongside Clay as a supporter of the American System. As one might expect, Clay is a willing advocate for tariffs, believing it necessary to enhance American manufacturing, and the Bank of the United States, blaming Jackson’s attacks on it for destroying the economy (and his personal fortune). He is a strong advocate for internal improvement projects and for modernization against the common rabble. He does not believe that the average voter can comprehend national policy. From his early days in office, Webster has stood as a staunch opponent to radicalism and secessionism, arguing strongly for compromise for the betterment of the whole country. Thus, Webster considers South Carolina’s Ordinance of Nullification and Calhoun’s antagonism to be uniquely dangerous. To everyone’s surprise, Webster has acted as a defender and advocate of Andrew Jackson on the nullification question, supporting his decision to send U.S. troops to the South Carolina border. Webster opposes Jackson’s policies toward the native tribes but made very few efforts to prevent the Indian Removal Act. As a New Englander, Webster does not view the issue to be particularly pressing and only submitted one half-hearted amendment that would guarantee the Indians prior to their removal. Webster has long been an opponent of extending slavery and opposes attempts to expand the Union, fearing that the new territories might be used to expand the institution. On those states with slaves, Webster’s beliefs are slightly more complicated. Though he has declared that “neither the fear of God nor the fear of man exercises a control” in the hearts of slaveowners, he has ignored attempts to regulate slavery where it currently exists. Webster supports rapprochement with England and hopes to one day achieve a lasting peace with America’s former overlords.

NORTH CAROLINA WHIG PARTY CANDIDATE:


Presidential Nominee: Willie Person Magnum
  • Party Affiliation: Whig Party
  • Notable Positions: United States Senator from North Carolina, United States Representative from North Carolina
  • Biography: Born in Orange County, North Carolina to a planter class family, Magnum has had a peculiar career. Originally a Jacksonian Democrat, Magnum served in the United States House of Representatives firmly committed to Jacksonian democracy and ending Northern tyranny. Shortly after ascending to the Senate, however, he became increasingly disenchanted with Jackson and his uses of executive power. Though he ultimately voted with Jackson, following the directions of the North Carolina legislature, Magnum resigned his office in protest in 1826, generating sympathy among the general public and Southern political elites. Magnum is a well-respected personality within Southern politics. Personally, Magnum is known for his magnetic personality, charm, and easygoing temperament. He is often seen in the presence of Henry Clay.
  • Platform: Wille Person Magnum is a nullifier and personally opposed to Jackson’s administration. Unlike many of his Southern colleagues, Magnum supports the American system’s policy on tariffs and the Bank of the United States. In particular, Magnum vigorously opposed Jackson’s decision to empty the deposits of the federal bank by executive order. While he supports American expansionism, Magnum believes that the native tribes have “a claim of protection” under the United States government and is uncomfortable with the tactics used by Jackson to ensure their removal. To counteract these abuses and tyrannies, Magnum believes that each state should have the power to declare a law unconstitutional within their borders. Much like White and Tyler, Magnum believes firmly in the concept of states rights and only supported Webster during the Missouri Compromise to avoid a greater catastrophe. He is a slaveowner and believes strongly that each man has a moral right to a slave and that abolition threatens the integrity of the Union.Despite this view, Magnum has a close and highly regarded friendship with John Chavis, a free black educator and Presbyterian minister.

QuoProQuid has issued a correction as of 16:03 on Feb 7, 2016

QuoProQuid
Jan 12, 2012

Tr*ckin' and F*ckin' all the way to tha
T O P

As an aside, I don't think I have ever hated a party as much as the Whigs with their "hey, let's run six competing tickets in a first past the post system and see what happens" strategy.

Harold Stassen
Jan 24, 2016
Hmm.. do I vote for "Hale & Healthy Harry" or am I a Van Buren Boy through and through...

Thump!
Nov 25, 2007

Look, fat, here's the fact, Kulak!



:stare:

gently caress this election is insane. I guess we can see just what the modern GOP was trying to mimic with just running every goddamned member of the party.

Ibogaine
Aug 11, 2015
Now that we have taken care of the freemasons, we should return to the great ideas of our founding fathers. Especially those of Aaron Burr.

I have always felt a strong kinship for Aaron Burr, and Martin van Buren seems to share this feeling. (Though not for the reasons some slanderous ponces suggest). MVB 1836!

edit: Both his VP candidates are horrible, though... I tried to flip a coin to decide, but it always came up Clinton!

Oh, gently caress it. I'll vote for Johnson as VP, at least that way, I can get my mail on sundays.

Ibogaine has issued a correction as of 16:21 on Feb 7, 2016

CuwiKhons
Sep 24, 2009

Seven idiots and a bear walk into a dragon's lair.

Oh my god, everyone's awful.

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Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

Webster/Devil '36

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