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Holy poo poo, this election. Jackson is Jackson. Can't really move to a better society without a more modern economy that isn't based on slave trade, the bank is better than the states handling monetary affairs, and he doesn't care about liberty at all. And he hates non-white people. Clay is not bad as a moderate, honestly, but is completely untrustworthy on a "don't gently caress non-white people" platform. Floyd sounds as good as you can get on slavery in this election, but is naive if he doesn't see the main push for nullification is to bolster slavery. Wirt's not bad policy wise, and he's not about to drop into crazy freemason conspiracy theory territory, but definitely the party backing him will. Eh, Wirt. Clay would probably be a more strategic choice in this election in real life, but I'm going with my heart.
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# ? Feb 1, 2016 03:32 |
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# ? May 9, 2024 23:38 |
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QuoProQuid posted:
An Adams astroturf group is an astroturf group you can trust. Edit: also, we can Make This Country Great Again on the backs of expendable Germans. Goatse James Bond has issued a correction as of 04:28 on Feb 1, 2016 |
# ? Feb 1, 2016 04:24 |
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karmicknight posted:If only Martin Van Buren was running on his lonesome, with the corpse of whoever beat Jackson to the nomination, obviously. Just wait until Van Buren/Adams run on an abolitionist platform
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# ? Feb 1, 2016 04:42 |
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GreyjoyBastard posted:An Adams astroturf group is an astroturf group you can trust. Since I am German and I am surrounded by Krauts all day long, I agree that more of them should be deported to unviable swampy colonies. Also: You don't get the chance to fight the masons with your vote every day. So, Wirt it is! Ibogaine has issued a correction as of 09:00 on Feb 1, 2016 |
# ? Feb 1, 2016 07:57 |
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Somehow, the person talking about discriminating against private associations his party doesn't like is the least tyrannical of the bunch. People are weird.
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# ? Feb 1, 2016 17:38 |
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Ibogaine posted:Since I am German and I am surrounded by Krauts all day long, I agree that more of them should be deported to unviable swampy colonies.
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# ? Feb 1, 2016 18:23 |
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I believe Henry Clay is a trustworthy chap, but more importantly, I hope the attempted assassination on Jackson that historically happened in 1835 (and failed under hilariously improbable circumstances) actually happens to him and succeeds, so we can get Sergeant in office, who is clearly the best.
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# ? Feb 1, 2016 20:02 |
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If nothing else, Henry Clay won't beat the assassin with his cane like Jackson did.
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# ? Feb 2, 2016 00:51 |
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Gentlemen*, the pro-Jacksonian Press would like to make you aware of the benefits that you might incur under a Jackson Administration. They have published the following "satirical" pieces for your amusement and to show just how Jackson plans to deal with the Establishment. * In 1807, New Jersey became the last state to repeal women's suffrage. It would not be until the Seneca Falls Convention that women's suffrage would again become a major issue. THE DOCTORS PUZZLED, OR THE DESPARATE CASE OF MOTHER U.S. BANK MOTHER BANK: Oh dear! Nick, I am dreadfully sick. BIDDLE, PRESIDENT OF THE BANK (holding Mother Bank's head): It's... that Doctor Jackson. This is the effect of his last prescription! CLAY: What do you say to the application of my patent American System? CALHOUN: Doctor your American System won't do here. Desperate cases require desperate remedies, a few of the leaden pills of Nullification and some blood taken will suffice. MAJOR JACK DOWNING, SATIRIST (from window): Why General, I never know'd You was a Doctor before! JACKSON (from window): No more I ain't Major Downing but I've read the American Family Physician and know what kind of a dose to give to clean out a foul stomach! OLD JACK, THE FAMOUS NEW ORLEANS MOUSER, CLEARING UNCLE SAM'S BARN OF BANK AND CLAY RATS; CLAY (depicted as mouse being eaten by Jackson): Oh God, my case is desperate! BIDDLE, PRESIDENT OF THE BANK (depicted as mouse under Jackson's claw): Them damned Clay-Bank Rats brought me to this! UNCLE SAM: Bravo my Boys! keep him in the Barn; and no doubt, but he will keep the Rats away.
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# ? Feb 2, 2016 19:32 |
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I shall cast my lot for Wirt! Until and unless I think he can't win, of course. And with the speed news travels at and the accuracy of polling in 1832, I'm sure I'll have plenty of time to make this decision!
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# ? Feb 2, 2016 19:51 |
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You skipped over whatever 1832 Dr. House with his cane is saying there. "I wonder how a few grains of Common Sense washed down with Boston Particular would do?" Listen to House, dammit. Though I assume that Jackson's plan is to just shoot her in the stomach and call it a day.
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# ? Feb 2, 2016 20:23 |
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foobardog posted:You skipped over whatever 1832 Dr. House with his cane is saying there. I believe that is the Massachusetts upstart and Presidential aspirant Daniel Webster. And, for those of you paying attention, Mother Bank is vomiting into Aaron Burr's Manhattan Bank, which will eventually become a central pillar of the modern JPMorgan Chase & Co.
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# ? Feb 2, 2016 20:43 |
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QuoProQuid posted:I believe that is the Massachusetts upstart and Presidential aspirant Daniel Webster. Why that man is such a good attorney, he could win a case against the Devil Himself!
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# ? Feb 2, 2016 20:48 |
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QuoProQuid posted:And, for those of you paying attention, Mother Bank is vomiting into Aaron Burr's Manhattan Bank, which will eventually become a central pillar of the modern JPMorgan Chase & Co. Burr killing Hamilton again
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# ? Feb 2, 2016 21:29 |
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Corek posted:Burr killing Hamilton again Oh, Hamilton will die many more times before this project is over. Speaking of which, the very last Federalist to hold a major political office has just been forced to step down as Mayor of Boston. And so, Hamilton's party officially dies.
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# ? Feb 3, 2016 02:37 |
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Wirt it is. Tired of those drat freemasons.
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# ? Feb 4, 2016 05:49 |
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QuoProQuid posted:Oh, Hamilton will die many more times before this project is over. Well, at least we Hamiltonians still have: The Bank of the United States Vermont National Debt No Term Limits Neutrality American System The Treasury Department Revenue Cutter Service The Fight Against Slavery gently caress the South
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# ? Feb 4, 2016 06:27 |
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karmicknight posted:Vermont The current governor of Vermont, William A. Palmer, is an Anti-Mason. It hasn't had a Federalist (or former Federalist) governor since 1815.
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# ? Feb 4, 2016 17:54 |
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Anti-Masons are crypro-federalists, given how they eventually merged into the Whig Party.
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# ? Feb 4, 2016 17:56 |
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Hey hey, anti-masons are crypto-nothing. We are real, truthful citizens who have had enough of the cryptography and related deciets of those elitist, scummy probably-apostates.
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# ? Feb 4, 2016 18:16 |
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Octatonic posted:Hey hey, anti-masons are crypto-nothing. We are real, truthful citizens who have had enough of the cryptography and related deciets of those elitist, scummy probably-apostates. them and their revellings
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# ? Feb 4, 2016 18:19 |
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Abner Cadaver II posted:them and their revellings And Mexico will pay for it!
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# ? Feb 4, 2016 18:37 |
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Octatonic posted:I will not stand for this kind of left-handed insult. The AMINO question is essential to building our body politic. In this very thread you see accusations that we are merely a synthetic group of reactionaries, propped up by the very same Masons that are behind the dissolution of our still young country. If we are to succeed, we need someone who can form bonds. Someone with pep. The tides of this battle can yet be turned, but I don't know if this is the man to do it. Hmmm, this sounds interesting. Please, tell me more. Lord of Pie posted:
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# ? Feb 4, 2016 18:44 |
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Abner Cadaver II posted:them and their revellings That guy better not forget to move his tail or he's going to have a serious problem soon.
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# ? Feb 4, 2016 23:08 |
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im the hoods with 'divorced' written on them
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# ? Feb 4, 2016 23:54 |
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yo, gently caress freemasons
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# ? Feb 5, 2016 03:02 |
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Alfred P. Pseudonym posted:yo, gently caress freemasons Accomplish this by voting for the freemason.
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# ? Feb 5, 2016 05:16 |
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You fight fire with fire, and you fight freemasons with freemasons.
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# ? Feb 5, 2016 05:19 |
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Lycus posted:You fight fire with fire, and you fight freemasons with freemasons. A SATIRE OF THE ANTI-MASONIC CONVENTION IN VALDIMOR rear end: Mr. President I should like to know what course we are to pursue with regard to the Presidency. I hope no candidate will be entered who is not a "full blooded" Antimason. rather than vote for any other I will "run" for the office myself. CAT: No secret societies! PIG: ...I agree with my friend opposite. To save my own "Bacon" I would not vote for any man who would not go the "Whole Hog" for Antimasonry. DOG: ...I'm not used to many words. I never spin out a long yarn without getting into a "snarl." I've only to say, that since I have em"barked" in this business I am resolved to go the hull figure.
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# ? Feb 5, 2016 13:24 |
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The masons were protecting us from the furries all along!
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# ? Feb 5, 2016 17:02 |
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That kind of unfunny slander could only be written by a lizard man in human skin.
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# ? Feb 5, 2016 17:13 |
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I use the phrase "go whole hog"
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# ? Feb 5, 2016 18:49 |
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Thank you for voting in the Election of 1836. Despite the secret machinations of the Freemasons and their devilish master, William Wirt and his party have succeeded. Around the country, local anti-masons are burning effigies of Jackson in celebration and ransacking local lodges. Spaghetti bakes around the country have been cancelled and prominent Masons, like Clay, have been forced into hiding. He may soon be hanged by an angry mob. Newly elected Vice President Amos Ellmaker has assured the country that these men cannot hide for long. In other news, John Quincy Adams has been seen pacing around his manor in a daze. Though an avid proponent of the Anti-Masons before the election, Adams has reportedly been heard murmuring “What hath God wrought?” repeatedly to himself. RESULTS BREAKDOWN: Most Popular Ticket: William Wirt / Amos Ellmaker (Anti-Masonic) - 47 votes (58%) Henry Clay / John Sergeant (National Republican) - 18 votes (22.2%) Andrew Jackson / Martin Van Buren (Democratic) - 11 votes (13.6%) John Floyd / Henry Lee (Independent Democrat) - 5 votes (6.2%)
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# ? Feb 7, 2016 15:55 |
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ELECTION OF 1836 Click here to vote in the Election of 1836! Background: After smashing almost every other precedent, Andrew Jackson surprised the nation in 1836 by announcing that he would not run for the Presidency again, choosing to honor Washington’s two-term precedent. In his place, he offered Martin Van Buren, his famous albeit controversial Vice President. Though well-liked in the North, many Southerners feared that Van Buren intended to abuse his position to abolish slavery. With murmurings of sedition within the Democratic Party, the Whigs saw their chance. The Whig Party, a continuation of Clay’s National Republicans, was still in its infancy when Andrew Jackson’s term was set to expire. Though the party prided itself on being fundamentally opposed to Andrew Jackson, the party had not yet determined how they would oppose Jackson or what particular policies they would embrace. For the North, the Whigs were seen as a fusion of the National Republicans and Anti-Masonic Parties, good northern reform movements committed to strong national government. For the South, the Whigs seemed like a vehicle for the Nullification movement, which Jackson had tried to stamp out of North Carolina. Others saw the party as a chance to air their personal grievances against Jackson, ignoring both Northern and Southern norms and running as Jacksonians except in name. Because of their lack of ideological unity, the Whigs have taken the unique strategy of nominating multiple candidates, hoping that these regional nominees might be enough to prevent Van Buren’s election. Much like previous elections, the election is focused on Jacksonian democracy, the American System, and the American Bank. Though Jackson has succeeded in destroying the Bank and privatized its wealth, leading economists have warned that this policy will be economically disastrous. Even though the economy is booming, many Whigs consider it to be extremely unstable and warn that an economic crisis is on the horizon. The Candidates: DEMOCRATIC PARTY CANDIDATES: Presidential Nominee: Martin Van Buren
Presidential Nominee:Richard M. Johnson
Presidential Nominee: William Smith
WESTERN WHIG PARTY CANDIDATES: Presidential Nominee:William Henry Harrison
Vice Presidential Nominee: Francis Granger
SOUTHERN WHIG PARTY CANDIDATES: Presidential Nominee:Hugh Lawson White
Vice Presidential Nominee: John Tyler
NEW ENGLAND WHIG PARTY CANDIDATES: Presidential Nominee: Daniel Webster
NORTH CAROLINA WHIG PARTY CANDIDATE: Presidential Nominee: Willie Person Magnum
QuoProQuid has issued a correction as of 16:03 on Feb 7, 2016 |
# ? Feb 7, 2016 15:55 |
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As an aside, I don't think I have ever hated a party as much as the Whigs with their "hey, let's run six competing tickets in a first past the post system and see what happens" strategy.
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# ? Feb 7, 2016 16:02 |
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Hmm.. do I vote for "Hale & Healthy Harry" or am I a Van Buren Boy through and through...
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# ? Feb 7, 2016 16:06 |
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gently caress this election is insane. I guess we can see just what the modern GOP was trying to mimic with just running every goddamned member of the party.
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# ? Feb 7, 2016 16:14 |
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Now that we have taken care of the freemasons, we should return to the great ideas of our founding fathers. Especially those of Aaron Burr. I have always felt a strong kinship for Aaron Burr, and Martin van Buren seems to share this feeling. (Though not for the reasons some slanderous ponces suggest). MVB 1836! edit: Both his VP candidates are horrible, though... I tried to flip a coin to decide, but it always came up Clinton! Oh, gently caress it. I'll vote for Johnson as VP, at least that way, I can get my mail on sundays. Ibogaine has issued a correction as of 16:21 on Feb 7, 2016 |
# ? Feb 7, 2016 16:16 |
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Oh my god, everyone's awful.
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# ? Feb 7, 2016 16:21 |
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# ? May 9, 2024 23:38 |
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Webster/Devil '36
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# ? Feb 7, 2016 16:26 |