Microsoft: ~*spooky thread*~ post if you dare

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > Microsoft: ~*spooky thread*~ post if you dare

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suffix: Jul 27, 2013; Wheeee!

Wheany posted:

uh, hammers and screwdrivers are really bad for slapping

use the broad end and the handle, respectively

# ? Feb 7, 2016 14:27

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# ? May 18, 2024 14:36

Lysidas: Jul 26, 2002; John Diefenbaker is a madman who thinks he's John Diefenbaker.; Pillbug

Celexi posted:

i get more fps om xcom 2 in linux with ogl than on windows 10 dx lmao

never played it on windows and never going to, but holy hell it did not perform well until i tweaked the texture PoolSize in xcomengine.ini

# ? Feb 7, 2016 15:19

Necc0: Jun 30, 2005; by exmarx; Broken Cake

any time you're storing large amounts of unstructured data that's prone to evolving just tunnel it all into a nosql db and figure it out later. way faster to both build, access, and format in both machine & dev time IDIOT

for example: healthcare dot gov

# ? Feb 7, 2016 16:13

eric: Apr 27, 2004; Lipstick Apathy

Necc0 posted:

any time you're storing large amounts of unstructured data that's prone to evolving just tunnel it all into a nosql db and figure it out later. way faster to both build, access, and format in both machine & dev time IDIOT

for example: healthcare dot gov

first down

# ? Feb 7, 2016 17:42

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Necc0 posted:

any time you're storing large amounts of unstructured data that's prone to evolving just tunnel it all into a nosql db and figure it out later. way faster to both build, access, and format in both machine & dev time IDIOT

for example: healthcare dot gov

LOBs. Owned.

# ? Feb 7, 2016 17:45

Necc0: Jun 30, 2005; by exmarx; Broken Cake

all that unstructured data that you're pulling in is being sorted into binary trees for super fast recollection, indexing, and whatever else your idiot 'ideas guy' manager's brain comes up with. lobs don't do that

# ? Feb 7, 2016 17:48

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Necc0 posted:

all that unstructured data that you're pulling in is being sorted into binary trees for super fast recollection, indexing, and whatever else your idiot 'ideas guy' manager's brain comes up with. lobs don't do that

They can be indexed on whatever criteria you desire. Of course, you know that already.

# ? Feb 7, 2016 18:04

Shaggar: Apr 26, 2006

if you're doing healthcare data the NoSQL of choice is MUMPS

# ? Feb 7, 2016 18:28

Shaggar: Apr 26, 2006

mumps is very very bad

# ? Feb 7, 2016 18:28

Malcolm XML: Aug 8, 2009; I always knew it would end like ｔｈｉｓ．

Necc0 posted:

any time you're storing large amounts of unstructured data that's prone to evolving just tunnel it all into a nosql db and figure it out later. way faster to both build, access, and format in both machine & dev time IDIOT

for example: healthcare dot gov

hstore, son

# ? Feb 7, 2016 18:29

Shaggar: Apr 26, 2006

when discussing how to store healthcare data, the first consideration should always be "can we have someone else store this healthcare data?"

# ? Feb 7, 2016 18:30

Necc0: Jun 30, 2005; by exmarx; Broken Cake

Malcolm XML posted:

hstore, son

gonna demonstrate my ignorance of postgres here but you still need an underlying schema for this, don't you?

# ? Feb 7, 2016 18:38

Shaggar: Apr 26, 2006

if you don't have a schema than your data wasn't important.

# ? Feb 7, 2016 18:45

akadajet: Sep 14, 2003

Shaggar posted:

if you don't have a schema than your data wasn't important.

# ? Feb 7, 2016 18:54

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Shaggar posted:

if you don't have a schema than your data wasn't important.

Wrap it up.

# ? Feb 7, 2016 19:03

Mr. Nice!: Oct 13, 2005; c-spam cannot afford

Shaggar posted:

if you don't have a schema than your data wasn't important.

man the winner of the sql bowl wasn't even a competitor

# ? Feb 7, 2016 19:41

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Mr. Nice! posted:

man the winner of the sql bowl wasn't even a competitor

pinch hitter off the bench

# ? Feb 7, 2016 19:54

hobbesmaster: Jan 28, 2008

Shaggar posted:

if you don't have a schema than your data wasn't important.

well that wasn't much of a fight

# ? Feb 7, 2016 20:09

Necc0: Jun 30, 2005; by exmarx; Broken Cake

Shaggar posted:

if you don't have a schema than your data wasn't important.

$1.7 billion 'worthless' -shaggar, savvy business man

# ? Feb 7, 2016 20:12

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Necc0 posted:

$1.7 billion 'worthless' -shaggar, savvy business man

that's all? lol that's cute

# ? Feb 7, 2016 20:14

Necc0: Jun 30, 2005; by exmarx; Broken Cake

scrappy newcomer computerman - actually sometimes schemas aren't necessary now that we've done this thing called 'progress' over the past half century
mega autistic dbas who can't handle change - gah !

# ? Feb 7, 2016 20:15

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Necc0 posted:

scrappy newcomer computerman - actually sometimes schemas aren't necessary now that we've done this thing called 'progress' over the past half century
mega autistic dbas who can't handle change - gah !

This is "We'll store everything in a flat file dataset" but for people born in 1994 instead of 1944

# ? Feb 7, 2016 20:26

triple sulk: Sep 17, 2014

mongodb is web scale

# ? Feb 7, 2016 20:40

akadajet: Sep 14, 2003

triple sulk posted:

mongodb is web scale

so is windows 95
https://win95.ajf.me/win95.html

# ? Feb 7, 2016 20:44

skeevy achievements: Feb 25, 2008; by merry exmarx

Citizen Tayne posted:

This is "We'll store everything in a flat file dataset" but for people born in 1994 instead of 1944

Id love to see the code these kids write

no code structure, just hashtables full of literals being passed around

variable names like a, b and c

gotos

# ? Feb 7, 2016 20:52

hobbesmaster: Jan 28, 2008

no gotos aware bad

longjmps however...

# ? Feb 7, 2016 21:03

PleasureKevin: Jan 2, 2011

triple sulk posted:

mongodb is web scale

and good too

# ? Feb 7, 2016 21:52

pram: Jun 10, 2001

a wild pleasure kevin appears!

# ? Feb 7, 2016 21:53

anthonypants: May 6, 2007; by Nyc_Tattoo; Dinosaur Gum

Necc0 posted:

$1.7 billion 'worthless' -shaggar, savvy business man

about half of a minecraft seems pretty worthless to me, too

# ? Feb 8, 2016 01:55

FCKGW: May 21, 2006

theultimo posted:

what weird is that this recall is just for the cable that plugs into the brick, not the brick itself.

but this same cord is used on other ms products like the surface hub but those aren't being recalled.

# ? Feb 8, 2016 04:08

ahmeni: May 1, 2005; It's one continuous form where hardware and software function in perfect unison, creating a new generation of iPhone that's better by any measure.; Grimey Drawer

FCKGW posted:

what weird is that this recall is just for the cable that plugs into the brick, not the brick itself.

but this same cord is used on other ms products like the surface hub but those aren't being recalled.

wonder if its related to the apple recall?

# ? Feb 8, 2016 04:38

Pinterest Mom: Jun 9, 2009

quote:

According to Harrison, when Cortana was first launched in 2014, �a good chunk of early queries were about her sex life.� Now the team behind the AI is fighting back; Cortana is a true woman of the 21st century, you see, and she doesn�t take any crap.

�If you say things that are particularly a**holeish to Cortana, she will get mad,� said Harrison during a talk at the Re�Work Virtual Assistant Summit in San Francisco. �That�s not the kind of interaction we want to encourage.�

To combat this sort of behavior, Harrison and seven other Microsoft writers tasked with the fascinating job of determining how Cortana responds to inquiries have decided to be very careful with the way in which they structure this virtual woman.

While she is very clearly female � she�s represented by a female avatar, and the flesh-and-blood human woman Jen Taylor supplies her actual voice � Cortana doesn�t succumb to many sterotypical female pitfalls. She doesn�t find herself constantly apologizing, nor does she seem particularly, well, subordinate. And according to Harrison, that�s all a conscious decision made by the Microsoft team.

�We wanted to be very careful that she didn�t feel subservient in any way � or that we would set up a dynamic we didn�t want to perpetuate socially,� she told CNN.

A big part of creating a believable persona for a virtual assistant, Microsoft says, is to talk to human beings who have that actual job. Not only does this give them better material, but it also helps the team address harassment issues from the people who have to deal with it firsthand.

please don't harass my blue naked big titty lady

# ? Feb 8, 2016 08:16

Wheany: Mar 17, 2006; Spinya^{ha^{ha^haha}ha}ha_{ha_{ha_haha}ha}ha!; Doctor Rope

hey cortana, why does microsoft pay less to their female employees?

# ? Feb 8, 2016 08:22

KidVanguard: Jan 27, 2006; American Diaper

Pinterest Mom posted:

please don't harass my blue naked big titty lady

maybe they shouldn't have based their ai on a nerd sex object???

# ? Feb 8, 2016 08:23

anthonypants: May 6, 2007; by Nyc_Tattoo; Dinosaur Gum

hey cortana what are some examples of stereotypical female pitfalls

# ? Feb 8, 2016 08:37

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

Cum in and on Cortana

# ? Feb 8, 2016 08:47

Athletic Footjob: Sep 24, 2005; Grimey Drawer

show me those master beef curtains, whoretana

# ? Feb 8, 2016 09:05

Pinterest Mom: Jun 9, 2009

�We wanted to be very careful that she didn�t feel subservient in any way � or that we would set up a dynamic we didn�t want to perpetuate socially,� she told CNN.

# ? Feb 8, 2016 09:18

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

# ? Feb 8, 2016 09:28

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# ? May 18, 2024 14:36

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

Pinterest Mom posted:

please don't harass my blue naked big titty lady

wtf did they think was going to happen

# ? Feb 8, 2016 15:18

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > Microsoft: ~*spooky thread*~ post if you dare

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