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Internet Wizard posted:Nah, all of Cain's descendants died in the flood. Block people now are descendants of Ham, who was turned black because he's a filthy thief that tried to steal Noah's sacred clothes when Noah got turnt up one night. Black peoples could join before the 80s but they couldn't hold the priesthood which excluded them from ever doing anything that mattered in the church. Man, I need a Mormon who pays attention in Space Jesus class to fill me in.
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Feb 9, 2016 19:34
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For once, I actually have some content to post in this thread. My grandfather enlisted in the Air Force in 1952 (it was either that or spend the next 30 years painting cathode ray tubes). He became a computer programmer, and spent the next decade or so bouncing around and doing stuff (including getting a medal for automating the Alaskan Airforce Command's payroll). Now, all of this is boring poo poo none of you want to hear about, so I'll skip over a bunch of it and get to the entertaining part: when he was stationed at Tyndall AFB in Florida. Being good at his job, he had a habit of finishing by noon and then spending the rest of the day "on call" in the NCO club in case something happened (nothing ever happened). All was well in NCO-land, until a new lieutenant showed up and got pissed because one of his NCOs was spending most of his shifts drunk in the club. Unwisely, my grandfather decided to ignore the lieutenant's order to stay in the office, leaving him the choice of taking an Article 15 (which would have ended his career) or transferring to the JSC (which probably would have ended his career). So off he goes to the Pentagon, because he couldn't keep away from the booze but didn't want to lose his pension  (It turned out ok in the end; he collected two JCS commendations, Master Sergeant's stripes, and the Legion of Merit by the time he retired) I guess this is kinda tame compared to some stuff posted in this thread, but getting in a pissing match with an officer when you're about 7 years out from retirement seems pretty dumb to me. e: This wouldn't be the first male relative of mine, even on that side of the family, to get in a pissing match with a superior, either. e2: wrong acronym 
ugh its Troika fucked around with this message at 23:07 on Feb 9, 2016 |
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Feb 9, 2016 20:35
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Cojawfee posted:It was probably when they started baptizing jews who died in the holocaust. Yeah, that's what caught the media's attention. Frosted Flake posted:Don't Mormons have bunkers full of genealogy records for reasons? This is actually one of the good things they do. Anybody can access their archives, which are among the best in the world if not the best. Godholio fucked around with this message at 00:11 on Feb 10, 2016 |
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Feb 10, 2016 00:08
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Mormons can get free memberships to two or three genealogy websites just by getting a letter from their church saying they are a member. Genealogy sites love Mormons because they're really good at digging up family histories even if it's for a hosed up reason. My wife ended up chasing down my father's family tree back to the early 1800s, which was pretty impressive since we didn't even know his biological father's name. Regarding Mormon Hell, it's literally the weakest part of their sales pitch. They have a 'Hell' called Outer Darkness that's almost impossible to get there unless you're a member who tries to destroy the church or something (I think Hitler might qualify, too, but it's generally impossible for folks to get sent there). Everyone else goes to one of three levels of heaven that are progressively nicer for better Mormons. The players with the highest score get their own universe to go be God of and gently caress their spirit wife* forever and make babies. But the kicker is, they believe that you can visit lower levels of heaven and there are missionaries in the afterlife that will convert folks and let them go higher in the food chain. So when I asked the missionaries why there was a point to converting while I'm alive instead of living it up and sinning my rear end off til I die and converting later they didn't have a very good answer beyond "it's what Heavenly Father would want you to do." Ironically there's a major shakeup going on now over their new 'revelation' that kids with gay-married parents can't convert until they're 18 and have to swear a testimony that their parents are living in sin (yet again, this just happened to come out right after the LDS-backed initiative against the DoMA repeal failed). A whole shitton of Mormons are being excommunicated for speaking up and calling it a hosed up policy, and more are just leaving voluntarily. It's impressive when you set a policy that's so homophobic and regressive that even rank and file Mormons call you on it. *That's the whole 'sealing marriage' convention that is another messed up practice and yet another reason why I made sure to drive home that my daughter will never be forced to be a member if she doesn't want to be.
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Feb 10, 2016 02:59
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Wild T posted:
I'd say it's a pretty strong part of the sales pitch. Like, the only way to get sent to Mormon Hell (IIRC) is to actually genuinely believe in God, Jesus, and Moroni and say "but gently caress all of those guys, I hate them." Otherwise you at worst get sent to Mormon Purgatory. Who wouldn't prefer that to Fundie bullshit about how bushmen go to hell because them's the breaks?
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Feb 10, 2016 03:29
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if your at a higher level of heaven can you still visit your friends in the scrub tier?
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Feb 10, 2016 03:55
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Reverand maynard posted:if your at a higher level of heaven can you still visit your friends in the scrub tier? Wild T posted:But the kicker is, they believe that you can visit lower levels of heaven and there are missionaries in the afterlife that will convert folks and let them go higher in the food chain. So when I asked the missionaries why there was a point to converting while I'm alive instead of living it up and sinning my rear end off til I die and converting later they didn't have a very good answer beyond "it's what Heavenly Father would want you to do." ooragh devil
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Feb 10, 2016 03:59
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the whole mormon genealogy fetish is because they believe you can baptise the dead but only if the dead are related to a mormon or something iirc. so if you want to baptise elvis first of all you need to work out some way of saying youre related to him or something its fuckin dumb
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Feb 10, 2016 04:03
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willus posted:the whole mormon genealogy fetish is because they believe you can baptise the dead but only if the dead are related to a mormon or something iirc. so if you want to baptise elvis first of all you need to work out some way of saying youre related to him or something its fuckin dumb Mitochondrial Eve and Y-chromosomal Adam, there ya go. That was easy.
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Feb 10, 2016 04:32
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-Troika- posted:For once, I actually have some content to post in this thread. Seems like the proper and good response to me. gently caress officers.
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Feb 10, 2016 07:02
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Stultus Maximus posted:I'd say it's a pretty strong part of the sales pitch. Like, the only way to get sent to Mormon Hell (IIRC) is to actually genuinely believe in God, Jesus, and Moroni and say "but gently caress all of those guys, I hate them." Otherwise you at worst get sent to Mormon Purgatory. Who wouldn't prefer that to Fundie bullshit about how bushmen go to hell because them's the breaks? Yeah but you lose the whole threat of going to Hell if you don't convert, which is a major recruiting tool for a religion. According to Mormon beliefs I really have no reason not to hedge my bets and go with another belief, since if I'm wrong and they're right I go to heaven anyway. They even state that their shittiest heaven tier is still the most awesome place you can think of, plus you still get the option to upgrade after you die so they don't even have that leverage. It's like trying to sell someone a $120K car by telling them if they don't buy it right now, you're going to give them a $65K car for free and hold on to it for them in case they change their mind. To contribute some military idiocy... Did you know that living in buildings full of mold is totally not that bad for you? Fortunately, they've already addressed any potential medical problems that do arise by trying to get everyone coming back home to sign a medical form saying that they did not experience any health problems while they were there.
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Feb 10, 2016 07:45
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Wild T posted:Yeah but you lose the whole threat of going to Hell if you don't convert, which is a major recruiting tool for a religion. According to Mormon beliefs I really have no reason not to hedge my bets and go with another belief, since if I'm wrong and they're right I go to heaven anyway. They even state that their shittiest heaven tier is still the most awesome place you can think of, plus you still get the option to upgrade after you die so they don't even have that leverage. Only if they're converting agnostics and atheists. If you're converting another monotheist, the Mormon intro pitch is: "Hell isn't a big deal anyway, so stop freaking out and love God with us. I mean, you already love God, so come do it our way." I think the pitch for atheists and agnostics is the same in most religions and mostly amounts to: "your life of sin left you a friendless and familyless drug addict, try this instead."
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Feb 10, 2016 14:48
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All those Qatar facilities need is a fresh coat of paint and they'll be good to go. Junior troops once again not understanding the big picture.
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Feb 10, 2016 16:24
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Speaking of Mormons... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqO9JjQOMt4 quote:Long after Jeffs’s arrest, an extreme culture of child brides, excommunication, and “concentration camp”-like compounds has allegedly survived under the nose of local law enforcement, including police who are members or former members of the church. http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/02/09/sheriff-covered-up-mormon-child-marriage.html
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Feb 10, 2016 21:50
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you missed the best partsquote:In 2012, Wyler’s friend Andrew Chatwin said he found a live kitten stuffed into a pipe and encased in concrete outside Wyler’s home. Chatwin, a fellow FLDS defector, told the Huffington Post that the kitten was just one in a series of threats and animal killings directed at former members of the church.
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Feb 10, 2016 22:00
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If you want to learn all about that spooky/crazy/evil FLDS poo poo, read this one. "The American Taliban" is a phrase you hear too much but absolutely applies to these fuckers: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000FC1R2S/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?ie=UTF8&btkr=1
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Feb 10, 2016 22:12
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My girlfriend's aunt's church group apparently sends missions to the FLDS in Hildale. After listening to them talk about it I read up on the FLDS and holy gently caress those people are nuts. That chick in the video is right, there's already SHARIA LAW IN MURICAAAA!!! except it's all the crazy Christian fucks infesting this country.
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Feb 11, 2016 18:06
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Wild T posted:To contribute some military idiocy... Did you know that living in buildings full of mold is totally not that bad for you? Fortunately, they've already addressed any potential medical problems that do arise by trying to get everyone coming back home to sign a medical form saying that they did not experience any health problems while they were there.  Here's a picture I took in my room in the Marine barracks on Goodfellow AFB last year. As you might imagine with that much water damage on my wall, my ceiling was basically rotting away and molded out. Half of that building was fenced off, because while the entire building had been condemned, only the Air Force had bothered to move their people out of the building.
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Feb 12, 2016 16:52
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That post should be in the OP of whatever thread we use to dissuade people from enlisting with advanced STEM degrees.
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Feb 12, 2016 16:56
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Internet Wizard posted:
maffew buildings posted:All those Goodfellow facilities need is a fresh coat of paint and they'll be good to go. Junior troops once again not understanding the big picture.
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Feb 12, 2016 17:00
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Internet Wizard posted:
loving enlisted just don't get it. Some paint got a little wet who cares? Get back in your barracks and so help me god if I find a spot on your mirror or a single piece of trash in your trash can the next time I have you stand in formation at 5AM you'll have 48 hours of extra duty at the barracks CQ desk this weekend.
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Feb 12, 2016 17:10
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SumYungGui posted:loving enlisted just don't get it. Some paint got a little wet who cares? Get back in your barracks and so help me god if I find a spot on your mirror or a single piece of trash in your trash can the next time I have you stand in formation at 5AM you'll have 48 hours of extra duty at the barracks CQ desk this weekend. No kidding. Does nobody have fields days anymore?
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Feb 12, 2016 17:40
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I had a field day inspection in that room that involved the conversation "What the hell is this in your sink?" "Looks like some more of my ceiling fell off when you closed the door, sergeant." Did I ever tell the story of the Saturday night accountability formation at Goodfellow that lasted from 2300 until something like 0230? And then we were treated with a bonus round from 0245 to about 0315? I know I posted in the USMC thread a few times while I was standing out there, but don't know if I ever put the whole story down. The Marine Corps detachment at Goodfellow AFB has the pleasure of being composed of three different groups of junior enlisted. DLI graduates there for the sigint part of their training, the sigint non-linguists straight from boot camp, and the firedogs, also straight from boot camp. Now for some reason the entire detachment falls under the authority of the firedog chain of command, and an air wing Colonel on another base off in Corpus Christi is in charge of things like the liberty and uniform policy, and because this is the Marine Corps, DLI grads that somehow managed to spend 2 years in Monterey without any paperwork need to be treated the same as the ASVAB waivers that make up the firedog schoolhouse. Because of this, there was an all-hands accountability formation every single night, and on Saturdays, this formation was at 2300. One Saturday night, last summer, some of the firedogs decided that they were going to buy a bottle of liquor for a kid in holding platoon waiting to start class. Despite the fact that this kid was in the sigint pipeline, anybody that spoke to him could immediately tell that he wasn't all there. He had the slight slur to his speech, poor hygiene, and intense social awkwardness that just immediately makes you think "aspergers". This was the first time ever that he had drunk alcohol, and had no idea that you shouldn't drink an entire bottle of whiskey like it's just some normal beverage, and the firedogs that bought it for him just sort of gave it to him and left. So he shows up to the formation barely coherent, and while roll is being taken basically begins to show the early signs of alcohol poisoning. The firedog gunny that was the SNCO on duty that evening notices this kid basically passed out on his feet, and pulls him out in front of the entire detachment and starts trying to question and berate him about where he got the booze from, etc. The gunny ends up giving up because there's no way he's going to get anything out of the kid in the state he's in, and drags him off to the duty hut to start making phone calls or whatever. We figure that's the end of it and the sergeant on duty will release us to go to bed after he finishes with accountability, but no. The gunny ends up dragging the kid back out to the formation, berates the kid in front of us, then starts demanding that somebody step forward and confess to buying the booze. When that doesn't work, he tells us we'll be standing out there until somebody does confess, and if he decides that that is taking too long, he'll make us change into service alphas and then stand in formation until confessions are made. This happens every 30-45 minutes or so until about 0100, when an ambulance finally comes to take the kid to the hospital to deal with his alcohol poisoning. At this point we've also got a lot of people starting to show signs of dehydration, because even in the middle of the night it was still in the upper 90s, people had been drinking because that's about all there is to do in that part of Texas on a Saturday, and they'd planned on being in their air-conditioned rooms by 2330 at the latest. A little after that point, one or two of the firedogs confesses to having bought the booze, but just for good measure we're kept out there while the gunny does paperwork or whatever, until about 230. But that wasn't the end of the night for us. I'd just gotten changed and into bed when firewatch comes knocking on the door. Everybody was being recalled. Turns out, some firedogs, who had a room right above the duty hut, had decided that the best course of action at that point was to turn on their music, leave their door open, and start smoking on the breezeway directly above where the duty was posted. So now everybody had to go back out to the thunderdome and form up for another 45 minutes or so just because. About 2-3 months later, the Sergeant Major from Corpus Christi comes down and tells us they'd investigated the situation and decided that hazing had not occurred that evening. I'm pretty sure the only thing that happened as a result of the investigation was that that gunny didn't have to stand duty anymore.
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Feb 12, 2016 18:16
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drat I miss the military.
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Feb 12, 2016 18:37
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God help you if you have trash in your trash can. YOU'RE GONNA GET MARINES KILLED.
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Feb 12, 2016 19:38
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Clearly making people stand outside for half the night is going to encourage good discipline, and not negatively impact unit readiness, as opposed to just making the people who did it feel murderous towards the NCO making them stand out there with their dicks in the wind for no good reason and towards the idiots that brought in the alcohol in the first place.
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Feb 12, 2016 23:22
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Then again, it WAS a training command.
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Feb 12, 2016 23:29
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Deathy McDeath posted:Then again, it WAS a training command.
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Feb 13, 2016 00:32
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Which is basically the same as any lovely line unit.
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Feb 13, 2016 03:21
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Wasabi the J posted:We're now doing pushups and sit-ups every time we enter and exit the barracks, which is the only place we have to be right now. Without a hint of awareness, the 1SG is bitching about how bad his arms and lower back hurt doing 160 pushups and sit-ups a day on hosed up dirt. Gee, top, good thing injuries don't happen slowly over time or anything. Nothing bad ever happens this way and we look completely professional now. 
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Feb 15, 2016 00:43
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Wasabi the J posted:Without a hint of awareness, the 1SG is bitching about how bad his arms and lower back hurt doing 160 pushups and sit-ups a day on hosed up dirt. Is your guys' actual real-boy Army job so easy that he has to make it artificially lovely? Even the infantry wasn't this motarded in my experience
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Feb 15, 2016 00:54
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YOU WANT TO HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHY YOU INDIVIDUALS DON'T THINK IT MATTERS THAT EVERYONE FACES THE SAME DIRECTION? Is first sarge a fatty?
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Feb 15, 2016 01:00
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Justin Tyme posted:Is your guys' actual real-boy Army job so easy that he has to make it artificially lovely? Even the infantry wasn't this motarded in my experience We're a national guard signal battalion detachment and he's an IT guy in the civilian world, but he used to be ~real army~ years ago. He isn't always this way but he loves "real Army" poo poo like DnC and changing gears when he thinks people are getting too chummy. I don't get it; people do their jobs, we kick rear end at our jobs, but he wants to do poo poo like this and locker inspections one month before shipping out, like poo poo like this doesn't gently caress up people's morale or cause last minute injuries. Wasabi the J fucked around with this message at 01:09 on Feb 15, 2016 |
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Feb 15, 2016 01:03
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Wasabi the J posted:We're a national guard signal battalion detachment and he's an IT guy in the civilian world, but he used to be ~real army~ years ago. It pisses me off how senior leadership thinks it's a bad thing that "chumminess" (aka good unit cohesion) is something to be stifled and discouraged. Probably the most effective we ever were was the time we had a platoon sergeant and PL who would no poo poo demand everyone go drinking with them at a dive bar in town. Not as a mandatory fun thing, but as a "we're off work, call me X" thing. Hell, I think our PL even went in uniform once and someone had to remind him that he could get in trouble. I can get fraternization being a problem in mixed units, but in combat arms units it goes a long way if the environment is right. Does it not occur to people that the best form of leadership is making you so afraid of loving up because you don't want to disappoint anyone, rather than because you're afraid of getting in trouble? poo poo's stupid.
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Feb 15, 2016 02:44
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Going for a drink with your troops isn't fraternization, though. Repeatedly going for a drink with only some of your troops preferentially is.
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Feb 15, 2016 03:54
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The Slithery D posted:Going for a drink with your troops isn't fraternization, though. Repeatedly going for a drink with only some of your troops preferentially is. Justin Tyme posted:I can get fraternization being a problem in mixed units He's speaking of frat in the context of "I'm combat arms, I only view females as a hole to stick my dick in therefore if I'm in a unit with womens I will inevitably try to have sex with them, especially if I go out to a bar with them (and it will probably involve some form of coercion and/or force)" e: and before anyone gets up in arms, I fully understand what he's getting at is an actual real problem....but it's an actual real problem only because the men in question are knuckle dragging idiots. I've been in multiple "mixed" (i.e. - how the rest of the world operates, with womens and big scary minorities and everything) units and shockingly all those units have largely had no problems interacting with "them" on a social level (to include drinking functions outside of work), because we're not knuckle dragging idiots. iyaayas01 fucked around with this message at 05:34 on Feb 15, 2016 |
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Feb 15, 2016 05:31
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Shut up ammo.
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Feb 15, 2016 05:38
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Soulex posted:Shut up ammo. that should given even more credence to what I'm saying, if even we can figure out how to deal with women-types then there's really no excuse for anyone else
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Feb 15, 2016 05:40
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I never made it that far. I hosed most of the chicks in ammo that I worked with. Except Green. She was batshit loving crazy. Also most of the women got kicked out or whatever because of something like family care plan or equally easy. I don't miss ordnance.
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Feb 15, 2016 05:43
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if you let women into the infantry then it makes gay chicken a lot more complex than it needs to be 
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Feb 15, 2016 06:03
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