Bad w/ Money: I just paid for a fat bitches Electric Cock Zapping Sex Toy in Kentucky

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Bad w/ Money: I just paid for a fat bitches Electric Cock Zapping Sex Toy in Kentucky

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Nail Rat: Dec 29, 2000; You maniacs! You blew it up! God damn you! God damn you all to hell!!

melon cat posted:

On average, people spend more time planning their vacation than they spend planning their retirement. Ain't life grand?

Well if you know what you're doing, planning for retirement doesn't take much time at all, just money and discipline (max out 401k (3 fund, rebalance every year), max out IRA (target retirement fund), you're pretty much good to go) :v:

# ? Feb 19, 2016 15:31

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# ? May 16, 2024 11:02

Subjunctive: Sep 12, 2006; ✨sparkle and shine✨

Craptacular posted:

Women are covered either way, but men aren't. This means they hate women?

Hate is different from lack of respect.

# ? Feb 19, 2016 15:38

Barry: Aug 1, 2003; Hardened Criminal

Krispy Kareem posted:

It's paternalistic because it assumes women need insurance, but men are covered because what man depends on his wife for coverage?

So maybe not overt hate, but it's likely they are misogynistic in other ways (like the lack of gym showers for ladies). They probably pay men more than women too because men are heads of households and need the extra money.

You're assuming an awful lot.

# ? Feb 19, 2016 16:09

Krispy Wafer: Jul 26, 2002; I shouted out "Free the exposed 67"
But they stood on my hair and told me I was fat; Grimey Drawer

Barry posted:

You're assuming an awful lot.

I only assumed pay inequality (which I just looked up and it ranks slightly below the U.S.). Everything else she already confirmed.

Barry posted:

Yeah but you were saying the company hated women and was misogynistic or whatever it was based upon a tiny snippet of information. Not that it's potentially untrue, but that's a reach.

Fantastic derail. I never said hate. I said paternalistic and probably misogynistic. Craptacular thought the fact women were covered either way was a positive. I countered it's paternalistic because in this company's world, no male spouse of an employed female is unemployed, underemployed, or house-husband. It could be a HR omission, but since they cover gay couples it'd be a pretty odd one. And if it isn't an omission, then I wouldn't be surprised if there are other policies there that favor men over women.

Krispy Wafer fucked around with this message at 17:58 on Feb 19, 2016

# ? Feb 19, 2016 16:30

Steve French: Sep 8, 2003

silvergoose posted:

Because english is poo poo, and people mostly expect bimonthly to mean twice a month for paychecks. And they also expect biweekly to mean twice a month for paychecks.

Twice a month is not the same as every two weeks; biweekly means either twice a week or every two weeks, not ever twice a month, so biweekly and bimonthly are always unambiguously different. In a payroll context, I think the meaning of biweekly and bimonthly are clear. Of course, if anything, bimonthly is the bogus term, which ought really to only mean every two months. Twice monthly is semimonthly.

I sort of enjoyed getting paid biweekly, since I budgeted on a monthly basis. Two months a year, I'd get bonus money!

# ? Feb 19, 2016 17:02

Hyrax Attack!: Jan 13, 2009; We demand to be taken seriously

Wedding planning is expensive. So when an internet startup offers free $10k for your dream nuptials, you'd be foolish not to count on receiving that money.

But how could a business afford to give away $10k to any couple that asked? Well, if you got divorced they would get their $10k back with interest. And with the US divorce rate at 50% or so, there are no flaws with this business plan. Their CEO described it as "a casino for marriages."

Somehow the concept of "Swanluv" didn't collapse instantly but got as far as getting on the Valentine's Day episode of the Today Show, and received requests for over $2 billion in applications.

One of the oddest parts is that it doesn't seem to have been a scam, just BWM all around. If this plan were functional then there would be hundreds of couples marrying for the free money then hopping state lines to keep the gravy train rolling. And how the heck was Swanluv going to get their money back from divorcing couples? It doesn't seem like couples that budgeted around free internet money could be counted on to have $10k on hand to give back. I'm imagining a dystopian Swanluv future where couples are locked into dysfunctional marriages and can't break up without Swanluv goons putting them through the wringer.

To date Swanluv has paid out zero dollars, and made the abrupt switch to a crowdfunding platform.

quote:

When Seattle-based startup SwanLuv launched last fall, promising to loan engaged couples $10,000 for their weddings, hundreds of thousands of users signed up on the company�s waitlist. The company�s business strategy, CEO Scott Avy told news outlets, was simple: any couple could qualify for a $10,000 loan. All they had to do was stay married. Divorce, and they would owe back the $10,000, with interest. If they stay married, the $10,000 is theirs to keep.

quote:

Avy described SwanLuv as �a casino for marriages.� It�s a fair comparison, except for the fact no one actually won anything. On Valentine�s Day, the day SwanLuv was scheduled to launch and begin accepting applications, users were greeted by an error page in place of the company�s website.

quote:

On Monday, fresh off a Valentine�s Day-themed "Today" show plug, SwanLuv announced that, actually, no � it would not pay for a single ceremony. Instead, it would let your friends and relatives pay for it, providing a crowdfunding platform similar to GoFundMe (except that, upon divorce, users would have to return the web donations).

Washington Post: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2016/02/17/a-website-offered-to-pay-for-weddings-then-it-came-time-to-write-the-check/

Yahoo Finance: http://finance.yahoo.com/news/swanluv-10-000-wedding-funding-lie-193749250.html

# ? Feb 19, 2016 17:11

Barry: Aug 1, 2003; Hardened Criminal

Krispy Kareem posted:

I only assumed pay inequality (which I just looked up and it ranks slightly below the U.S.). Everything else she already confirmed.

Yeah but you were saying the company hated women and was misogynistic or whatever it was based upon a tiny snippet of information. Not that it's potentially untrue, but that's a reach.

# ? Feb 19, 2016 17:34

KYOON GRIFFEY JR: Apr 12, 2010; Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

SwanLuv is one of the most fantastic and absurd ideas ever, and I wish I had thought of it.

The fundamental, ruinous problem is that you incur your liabilities and recognize your revenue backwards.

# ? Feb 19, 2016 17:43

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

jaymeekae posted:

https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/46k3tg/i_found_out_i_have_a_six_year_old_son_i_want_to/

I have $0 and my $685 rent is too expensive. Should I buy a house?

If $685 rent is too expensive, the Chicago area is the last place he should be moving. Pretty much nothing will be cheaper over here than by Indianapolis.

KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:

SwanLuv is one of the most fantastic and absurd ideas ever, and I wish I had thought of it.

The fundamental, ruinous problem is that you incur your liabilities and recognize your revenue backwards.

Which is probably why they switched to crowdfunding once people started actually trying to use it. So now your friends and family get an extra layer of awkwardness if you ever get divorced. Everyone loses!

# ? Feb 19, 2016 18:30

SmuglyDismissed: Nov 27, 2007; IGNORE ME!!!

KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:

SwanLuv is one of the most fantastic and absurd ideas ever, and I wish I had thought of it.

The fundamental, ruinous problem is that you incur your liabilities and recognize your revenue backwards.

Not to mention that financial issues are one of the leading causes for divorce, right? You are over-selecting people who are bad with money to pay you back!

# ? Feb 19, 2016 18:33

jaymeekae: Aug 30, 2003; I sound hot when I swear my f*cking head off.

Haifisch posted:

If $685 rent is too expensive, the Chicago area is the last place he should be moving. Pretty much nothing will be cheaper over here than by Indianapolis.

No, its okay he's going to buy a house so he doesn't have to pay rent

# ? Feb 19, 2016 18:56

silicone thrills: Jan 9, 2008; I paint things

Ughhhh one of my coworkers just dug his heels in on the belief that carrying a balance on your credit card is a good thing.

Just emailed him about 5 different write ups on it. Hopefully that will convince him.

# ? Feb 19, 2016 19:08

Guinness: Sep 15, 2004

Tigntink posted:

Ughhhh one of my coworkers just dug his heels in on the belief that carrying a balance on your credit card is a good thing.

Just emailed him about 5 different write ups on it. Hopefully that will convince him.

Funny thing is that many types of people when presented with solid objective evidence to the contrary of their beliefs just double-down on their wrongheadedness rather than incorporating new information and possibly changing their mind.

Humans are pretty dumb like that.

# ? Feb 19, 2016 20:18

Jeb Bush 2012: Apr 4, 2007; A mathematician, like a painter or poet, is a maker of patterns. If his patterns are more permanent than theirs, it is because they are made with ideas.

KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:

SwanLuv is one of the most fantastic and absurd ideas ever, and I wish I had thought of it.

The fundamental, ruinous problem is that you incur your liabilities and recognize your revenue backwards.

Well, and no-one is going to pay you. Most of the people who would have divorced will just separate instead if it means keeping $10k (you could try and prevent this in the contract, but hiring a bunch of PIs to check up on whether married couples are really living together or whatever just makes the proposition worse), so you're going to have to get a lot out of the minority of couples that pay you back to make a profit, and so they'll be even less likely to actually pay you, &c

# ? Feb 19, 2016 20:55

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Tigntink posted:

Ughhhh one of my coworkers just dug his heels in on the belief that carrying a balance on your credit card is a good thing.

Just emailed him about 5 different write ups on it. Hopefully that will convince him.

"Credit score" argument or something even worse?

# ? Feb 19, 2016 21:08

Tomfoolery: Oct 8, 2004

Open up your hearts and wallets

https://www.gofundme.com/kanyesmedicis

# ? Feb 19, 2016 21:19

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Jeb Bush 2012 posted:

Well, and no-one is going to pay you. Most of the people who would have divorced will just separate instead if it means keeping $10k (you could try and prevent this in the contract, but hiring a bunch of PIs to check up on whether married couples are really living together or whatever just makes the proposition worse), so you're going to have to get a lot out of the minority of couples that pay you back to make a profit, and so they'll be even less likely to actually pay you, &c

Divorces often have a lot more than 10k at stake and still occur. Both parties being willing to collude for mutual benefit does not seem particularly likely among divorcees to me.

# ? Feb 19, 2016 21:24

Jeb Bush 2012: Apr 4, 2007; A mathematician, like a painter or poet, is a maker of patterns. If his patterns are more permanent than theirs, it is because they are made with ideas.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Divorces often have a lot more than 10k at stake and still occur. Both parties being willing to collude for mutual benefit does not seem particularly likely among divorcees to me.

Usually at least one party stands to benefit from the divorce going through in those cases, though. And a) most divorces are not that acrimonious b) people will put aside a lot of acrimony for 5k each!

# ? Feb 19, 2016 21:53

Krispy Wafer: Jul 26, 2002; I shouted out "Free the exposed 67"
But they stood on my hair and told me I was fat; Grimey Drawer

SwanLuv was media clickbait. Kind of like that Yelp for People app. Something that was never going to happen, but generated a lot of press.

I'm not sure who benefited though. The founders of SwanLuv and Peeble can't really use their experience to get a job or funding for another project. Unless the job involves getting lots of free advertising.

# ? Feb 19, 2016 21:57

silicone thrills: Jan 9, 2008; I paint things

DACK FAYDEN posted:

"Credit score" argument or something even worse?

A few of us were giving our 23 year old coworker some "how to handle your credit card" advice and I was giving him the age old "just buy your groceries on it and pay it off in full every month for a few years" and then my coworker popped in with the "leave 10% on at all time!" and I was just like "dude don't give him myths like that"

# ? Feb 19, 2016 22:04

Dr. Eldarion: Mar 21, 2001; Deal Dispatcher

Jeb Bush 2012 posted:

hiring a bunch of PIs to check up on whether married couples are really living together or whatever just makes the proposition worse)

Offer profit-sharing to anybody that rats them out.

# ? Feb 20, 2016 01:08

Xenocides: Jan 14, 2008; This world looks very scary....

Tomfoolery posted:

Open up your hearts and wallets

https://www.gofundme.com/kanyesmedicis

They already passed the 0.1% of their goal mark. This gofundme is going places.

# ? Feb 20, 2016 01:50

adamarama: Mar 20, 2009

Krispy Kareem posted:

City and state government pensions have been a time bomb for a couple of decades now. I guess I can't entirely blame people for assuming the city council or governor would just jack up taxes when the time came, but at the same time the people getting ready to retire have known about these risks for up to half their working lives. Or maybe they didn't. Which just goes to prove that stat about spending more time planning vacations than retirements.

I have some sympathy here. I'm a government employee in europe and I have a db pension. I still have 35 years to serve. Do I think I'll get what I'm promised when I retire? No. But I can't take out any additional pension. People in the private sector get the usual pension tax breaks but I don't get anything because the state has promised they'll pay my pension.

# ? Feb 20, 2016 01:55

Dik Hz: Feb 22, 2004; Fun with Science

Steve French posted:

Twice a month is not the same as every two weeks; biweekly means either twice a week or every two weeks, not ever twice a month, so biweekly and bimonthly are always unambiguously different. In a payroll context, I think the meaning of biweekly and bimonthly are clear. Of course, if anything, bimonthly is the bogus term, which ought really to only mean every two months. Twice monthly is semimonthly.

I sort of enjoyed getting paid biweekly, since I budgeted on a monthly basis. Two months a year, I'd get bonus money!

TBH, I used bimonthly and biweekly in the same sentence because I think it's a funny quirk of the English language that they are within 10% of meaning the same thing.

That aside, bimonthly usually only refers exclusively to salaried people, and you get your money at the end of the pay period you earn it. Biweekly is usually for hourly people, and it means that after 2 weeks, they run payroll and pay you at the end of the next week. So you get your money on a one-week delay. My company moved all the bimonthly salaried people to the biweekly plan to bring everyone on the same payroll scheme after a merger. I find it darkly humorous that the bimonthly salaried folk who make a lot more money than plant workers were up in arms about the change.

Also, FrozenVent frequently takes offense to my posts in this subforum, so it's kinda funny that he was trying to call me out for using words correctly.

# ? Feb 20, 2016 02:52

Mantle: May 15, 2004

Bimonthly and biweekly mean the same thing in the same way that people use the words literally and figuratively to mean the same thing.

# ? Feb 20, 2016 03:51

Powerlurker: Oct 21, 2010

Dik Hz posted:

TBH, I used bimonthly and biweekly in the same sentence because I think it's a funny quirk of the English language that they are within 10% of meaning the same thing.

That aside, bimonthly usually only refers exclusively to salaried people, and you get your money at the end of the pay period you earn it. Biweekly is usually for hourly people, and it means that after 2 weeks, they run payroll and pay you at the end of the next week. So you get your money on a one-week delay. My company moved all the bimonthly salaried people to the biweekly plan to bring everyone on the same payroll scheme after a merger. I find it darkly humorous that the bimonthly salaried folk who make a lot more money than plant workers were up in arms about the change.

Also, FrozenVent frequently takes offense to my posts in this subforum, so it's kinda funny that he was trying to call me out for using words correctly.

I've always called the first pay system (24 paychecks per year) "semi-monthly" and the latter (26 paychecks per year) "biweekly".

# ? Feb 20, 2016 03:58

oxsnard: Oct 8, 2003

People are advertising on that Kanye GoFundMe with $5 "donations" and pleas to check out there more deserving GoFundMes. People are the worst :suicide:

# ? Feb 20, 2016 04:52

i say swears online: Mar 4, 2005

One of these days I want a giant gimmick gofundme to get funded and watch a bunch of teenagers lose hundreds.

# ? Feb 20, 2016 04:57

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

People will spend a lot of time and money trying to get easy, free money

# ? Feb 20, 2016 05:00

DizzyBum: Apr 16, 2007

I've finally made it to the end after several weeks. Man, what a ride. :allears:

Now I can finally share my own BWM story.

For a few months now, I've been planning to get my wife a Nexus 5X as an early birthday present to replace her broken phone and get her on Google Fi, with the intent of ending our $115/month we pay to T-Mobile. So we ordered the phone and service, she got on Fi, and I switched my T-Mobile plan. So now we're paying about half as much for our separate bills combined as we were on T-Mobile together ($30 for Fi + $30 for T-Mobile prepaid). Hooray!

Today I got my bi-weekly paycheck and it's when I do all the budgeting and bill-paying. So I checked my bank account and... I saw three mysterious purchases for $19.99 each via GOOGLE.COM for "Bethesda Games". I immediately suspected something was up because my wife had downloaded that Fallout Shelter game a few weeks ago and was playing it a lot.

After looking at her Google Play account history, I discovered she spent over $200 in items and perks for that game over the past two weeks.

I wouldn't have even known about this, but yesterday her old debit card expired and stopped working on Google Play. So any purchases made after that were done with the next payment method - my debit card, which was what we used on her account to buy the phone and start Fi service. And the fact that she didn't realize her card expired means she isn't paying attention to her purchases at all (or she flat-out doesn't care).

So, uhh, I think we're going to have a talk later.

# ? Feb 20, 2016 05:16

Nitrox: Jul 5, 2002

I got my shelter to 100 without spending a dime in about a week. And then it got really boring, because everything after that just repeats itself. What the hell do you spend money on in that game?

# ? Feb 20, 2016 06:11

DizzyBum: Apr 16, 2007

Nitrox posted:

I got my shelter to 100 without spending a dime in about a week. And then it got really boring, because everything after that just repeats itself. What the hell do you spend money on in that game?

Apparently you can buy Lunchboxes and Mr. Handys in the store, because that's what on the Google Play transaction history.

I don't really know what they do. :shrug:

# ? Feb 20, 2016 06:18

Krispy Wafer: Jul 26, 2002; I shouted out "Free the exposed 67"
But they stood on my hair and told me I was fat; Grimey Drawer

My wife discovered Family Feud on her iPhone. $100 dollars in one month. Then my daughter got hooked on it also and somehow lost another $80 in game coins. Not 'played lost', but reset the game lost. I'm pretty sure I can restore her purchases, but they finally burnt out trying to guess what 100 people surveyed said and I don't want to start that all over again.

This is itty bitty small potatoes compared to real addiction and it still drives me batshit insane.

# ? Feb 20, 2016 06:27

BonerGhost: Mar 9, 2007

Wow and here I am refusing to spend $7 on a plants vs zombies plant. Welp, now I don't feel so bad spending 4 bucks every couple months.

# ? Feb 20, 2016 10:19

froglet: Nov 12, 2009; You see, the best way to Stop the Boats is a massive swarm of autonomous armed dogs. Strafing a few boats will stop the rest and save many lives in the long term.

You can't make an Omelet without breaking a few eggs. Vote Greens.

NancyPants posted:

Wow and here I am refusing to spend $7 on a plants vs zombies plant. Welp, now I don't feel so bad spending 4 bucks every couple months.

My boyfriend got AUD$100 in Google Play credit for his birthday/Christmas a while back. He still hasn't used it because he claims he 'just doesn't have anything to spend it on'.

He will quite happily fork out $10 for a pint on a night out, but won't spend even $5 of the gift voucher his sister gave him on software that he uses all the time because ??? :iiam:

Perhaps it just hasn't occurred to him to get paid for versions of his free to play games so he doesn't have ads anymore?

# ? Feb 20, 2016 12:06

DizzyBum: Apr 16, 2007

There was another $19.99 charge for Fallout Shelter on my debit card this morning. That's $80 so far.

I confronted my wife about it and she said she had no idea she was buying items with real money. She put a password on her account so it'll force her to know when she's about to use real money in a game.

I just hope I can dispute these charges. Geez. I can understand being completely out of touch with technology and not realizing you're spending money, but she's no stranger to in-app purchases.

# ? Feb 20, 2016 12:53

Planet X: Dec 10, 2003; GOOD MORNING

It's quite clear in shelter that in app purchases are with real money. I doubt you'll be able to dispute these charges. You cannot do so with Bethesda support. Maybe GP or iTunes.

# ? Feb 20, 2016 13:02

BEHOLD: MY CAPE: Jan 11, 2004

DizzyBum posted:

There was another $19.99 charge for Fallout Shelter on my debit card this morning. That's $80 so far.

I confronted my wife about it and she said she had no idea she was buying items with real money. She put a password on her account so it'll force her to know when she's about to use real money in a game.

I just hope I can dispute these charges. Geez. I can understand being completely out of touch with technology and not realizing you're spending money, but she's no stranger to in-app purchases.

On the bright side, it only cost you $200 to find out that your wife has problems with compulsive spending and is willing to lie to you about it, so there's that.

# ? Feb 20, 2016 13:07

Suspicious Lump: Mar 11, 2004

BEHOLD: MY CAPE posted:

On the bright side, it only cost you $200 to find out that your wife has problems with compulsive spending and is willing to lie to you about it, so there's that.

Hahahah this.

That game is great, but those lunchboxes are loving useless.

# ? Feb 20, 2016 14:07

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# ? May 16, 2024 11:02

oxsnard: Oct 8, 2003

This is amazing you guys

quote:

An Open Letter To My CEO
Dear Jeremy,
When I was a kid, back in the 90s when Spice Girls and owning a pager were #goals, I dreamed of having a car and a credit card and my own apartment. I told my 8-year old self, This is what it means to be an adult.
Now, seventeen years later, I have those things. But boy did I not anticipate a decade and a half ago that a car and a credit card and an apartment would all be symbols of stress, not success.

I left college, having majored in English literature, with a dream to work in media. It was either that or go to law school. Or become a teacher. But I didn�t want to become a cliche or drown in student loans, see. I also desperately needed to leave where I was living � I could get into the details of why, but to sum up: I wanted to die every single day of my life and it took me several years to realize it was because of the environment I was in. So, I picked the next best place: somewhere close to my dad, since we�ve never gotten to have much of a relationship and I like the weather up here. I found a job (I was hired the same day as my interview, in fact) and I put a bunch of debt on a shiny new credit card to afford the move.
Coming out of college without much more than freelancing and tutoring under my belt, I felt it was fair that I start out working in the customer support section of Yelp/Eat24 before I�d be qualified to transfer to media. Then, after I had moved and got firmly stuck in this apartment with this debt, I was told I�d have to work in support for an entire year before I would be able to move to a different department. A whole year answering calls and talking to customers just for the hope that someday I�d be able to make memes and twitter jokes about food. If you follow me on twitter, which you don�t, you�d know that these are things I already do. But that�s neither here nor there. Let�s get back to the situation at hand, shall we?
So here I am, 25-years old, balancing all sorts of debt and trying to pave a life for myself that doesn�t involve crying in the bathtub every week. Every single one of my coworkers is struggling. They�re taking side jobs, they�re living at home. One of them started a GoFundMe because she couldn�t pay her rent. She ended up leaving the company and moving east, somewhere the minimum wage could double as a living wage. Another wrote on those neat whiteboards we�ve got on every floor begging for help because he was bound to be homeless in two weeks. Fortunately, someone helped him out. At least, I think they did. I actually haven�t seen him in the past few months. Do you think he�s okay? Another guy who got hired, and ultimately let go, was undoubtedly homeless. He brought a big bag with him and stocked up on all those snacks you make sure are on every floor (except on the weekends when the customer support team is working, because we�re what makes Eat24 24-hours, 7 days a week but the team who comes to stock up those snacks in the early hours during my shift are only there Mondays through Fridays, excluding holidays. They get holidays and weekends off! Can you imagine?). By and large, our floor pummels through those snacks the fastest and has to roam other floors to find something to eat. Is it because we�re gluttons? Maybe. If you starve a pack of wolves and toss them a single steak, will they rip each other to shreds fighting over it? Definitely.

I haven�t bought groceries since I started this job. Not because I�m lazy, but because I got this ten pound bag of rice before I moved here and my meals at home (including the one I�m having as I write this) consist, by and large, of that. Because I can�t afford to buy groceries. Bread is a luxury to me, even though you�ve got a whole fridge full of it on the 8th floor. But we�re not allowed to take any of that home because it�s for at-work eating. Of which I do a lot. Because 80 percent of my income goes to paying my rent. Isn�t that ironic? Your employee for your food delivery app that you spent $300 million to buy can�t afford to buy food. That�s gotta be a little ironic, right?

Let�s talk about those benefits, though. They�re great. I�ve got vision, dental, the normal health insurance stuff � and as far as I can tell, I don�t have to pay for any of it! Except the copays. $20 to see a doctor or get an eye exam or see a therapist or get medication. Twenty bucks each is pretty neat, if spending twenty dollars didn�t determine whether or not you could afford to get to work the next week.

Did I tell you about how I got stuck in the east bay because my credit card, which amazingly allows cash withdrawals, kept getting declined and I didn�t have enough money on my BART Clipper card to get to work? Did I tell you that my manager, with full concern and sympathy for my situation, suggested I just drive through FastTrak and get a $35 ticket for it that I could pay at a later time, just so I could get to work? Did I tell you that an employee at CVS overheard my phone call with my manager and then gave me, straight from his wallet, the six dollars I needed to drive into work? Do you think CVS pays more than Yelp? I worked a job similar to one at CVS. A manager spends half an hour training you on the cash register, you watch a video, maybe take a brief quiz, and you�re fully trained to do the entire job. Did you know that after getting hired back in August, I�m still being trained for the same position I�ve got? But Marcus at CVS has six dollars in his wallet, and I�m picking up coins on the street trying to figure out how I�ll be able to pay him back.

Speaking of that whole training thing, do you know what the average retention rate of your lowest employees (like myself) are? Because I haven�t been here very long, but it seems like every week the faces change. Do you think it�s because the pay your company offers is designed to attract young people with no responsibilities, sort of like the CIA? Except these people don�t even throw away their trash, because they still live at home and this is their very first job and they don�t have to take an aptitude test like at the CIA. Do you know how many cash coupons I used to give out before I was properly trained? In one month, I gave out over $600 to customers for a variety of issues. Now, since getting more training, I�ve given out about $15 in the past three months because I�ve been able to de-escalate messed up situations using just my customer service skills. Do you think that�s coincidence? Or is the goal to have these free bleeders who throw money at angry customers to calm them down set the standard for the whole company? Do you think there�s any point in training a customer service agent to learn and employ customer service skills? Or is it better to attract those first-time employees with their poor habits and lack of work ethic with the same wage part-time employees at See�s Candies make for standing by the door in a stupid outfit and handing out free chocolate? Do you think those free chocolates cost $600 a month per employee? Have you ever seen an angry See�s Candies customer? You know what I could do with $600 extra a month? For starters, I probably wouldn�t have to take money from Marcus at CVS just to get to work.
Will you pay my phone bill for me? I just got a text from T-Mobile telling me my bill is due. I got paid yesterday ($733.24, bi-weekly) but I have to save as much of that as possible to pay my rent ($1245) for my apartment that�s 40 miles away from work because it was the cheapest place I could find that had access to the train, which costs me $5.65 one way to get to work. That�s $11.30 a day, by the way. I make $8.15 an hour after taxes. I also have to pay my gas and electric bill. Last month it was $120. According to the infograph on PG&E�s website, that cost was because I used my heater. I�ve since stopped using my heater. Have you ever slept fully clothed under several blankets just so you don�t get a cold and have to miss work? Have you ever drank a liter of water before going to bed so you could fall asleep without waking up a few hours later with stomach pains because the last time you ate was at work? I woke up today with stomach pains. I made myself a bowl of rice.

Look, I�ll make you a deal. You don�t have to pay my phone bill. I�ll just disconnect my phone. And I�ll disconnect my home internet, too, even though it�s the only way I can do work for my freelance gig that I haven�t been able to do since I moved here because I�m constantly too stressed to focus on anything but going to sleep as soon as I�m not at work. Should I sell my car? It�s not my car, actually, it�s my grandpa�s. But the back left tire is flat and the front right headlight is out and the registration is due to be renewed in April and I already know I can�t afford any of that. I haven�t even gotten an oil change since I started this job (in August). But maybe I could find someone on Craigslist who won�t mind all of that because they�ll look at the dark circles under my eyes and realize I need the cash more than they do.

How about this: instead of telling you about all the ways I�m withering away from putting my all into a company that doesn�t have my back, I offer some solutions. I emailed Mike, Eat24�s CEO, about a few ideas to give back to our community for the holidays. He, along with someone named Patty, politely turned them down. But maybe you could repurpose them?
Originally, I suggested that Eat24/Yelp employees volunteer at local soup kitchens and food banks to give back to our Bay Area community (I see on your twitter that you care deeply about the homeless epidemic in our city) while also helping the different departments meet and mingle. Maybe instead, you can help set up something to allow Eat24/Yelp employees to get food from local food banks and soup kitchens? I�m pretty proficient at rice, but some hot soup would sure make up for not being able to afford to use my heater.

Originally, I suggested that Eat24 offer a matching donation with customers where they can choose a donation amount during checkout and Eat24/Yelp would match it and donate those profits to a national food program. Maybe instead, you can let customers choose a donation amount during checkout and divide those proceeds among your employees who spend more than 60% of their income on rent? The ideal percent is 30%. As I said, I spend 80%. What do you spend 80% of your income on? I hear your net worth is somewhere between $111 million and $222 million. That�s a whole lotta rice.
Originally, I suggested that Eat24 offer special coupon codes where half of the code�s value ($1) goes to charity. Maybe instead, you can give half the code�s value ($1) to helping employees who live across the bay pay their transit fares? Mine are $226 monthly. According to this website, you�ve got a pretty nice house in the east bay. Have you ever been stranded inside a CVS because you can�t afford to get to work? How much do you pay your gardeners to keep that lawn and lovely backyard looking so neat?

I did notice � and maybe this was just a fluke � that Yelp has stopped stocking up on those awful flavored coconut waters. Was that Mike�s suggestion? Because I did include, half-facetiously, in that email he and Patty so politely rejected that Yelp could save about $24,000 in two months if the company stopped restocking flavored coconut waters since no one drinks them (because they taste like the bitter remorse of accepting a job that can�t pay a living wage and everyone kept falling over into the fetal position and hyperventilating about their life�s worth. It really cut into the productivity that all those new hires are so prolific at avoiding). I wonder what it would be like if I made $24,000 more annually. I could probably get the headlight fixed on my car. And the flat tire. And maybe even get the oil change and renewed registration � but I don�t want to dream too extravagantly. Maybe you could cut out all the coconut waters altogether? You could probably cut back on a lot of the drinks and snacks that are stocked on every single floor. I mean, I could handle losing out on pistachio nuts if I was getting paid enough to afford groceries. No one really eats the pistachios anyway � have you ever tried answering the phone fifty times an hour while eating pistachios? Those hard shells really get in the way of talking to hundreds of customers and restaurants a day.
Anyway, those are my thoughts. I know they�re not worth your time � did you know that the average American earns enough money that the time they would spend picking up a penny costs more than the penny�s worth? I pick up every penny I see, which I think explains why sharing these thoughts is worth my time, even if it�s not worth yours.
Your Friend In Food,

Talia

UPDATE: As of 5:43pm PST, I have been officially let go from the company. This was entirely unplanned (but I guess not completely unexpected?) but any help until I find new employment would be extremely appreciated. My PayPal is paypal.me/taliajane, my Venmo is @taliajane Square Cash is cash.me/$TaliaJane. Thank you so much for helping my story be heard.

https://medium.com/@taliajane/an-open-letter-to-my-ceo-fb73df021e7a#.cr3agenea

People living as slaves in SV is sort of sad but also kind of hilarious. You could work at a McDonalds in a decently fun midwestern, say Des Moines and have a waaaaay better quality of life. But this delicate flower, like millions of others like her, are drawn to the big dreams of a place like San Fran like moths to a flame.

# ? Feb 20, 2016 15:40

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Bad w/ Money: I just paid for a fat bitches Electric Cock Zapping Sex Toy in Kentucky

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