quote:

Mom’s The Word
Motorcycle Dealership | CA, USA | Bigotry, Employees, Family & Kids

(I am the father of a six-year-old boy. I am also friends of a married couple and the four of us are looking at motorcycles and gear. The dealer is having a sales event and has some free t-shirts and individual bags of chips. My son is in front, I am behind him, and my female friend is a few steps behind me. We have literally just walked in the door.)

Saleswoman: *to me* “We are all out of your size, but would your son like a free t-shirt?”

Me: “Sure. [Son], say thank you.”

Son: “Thank you.” *sees snacks* “Can I have some [Crunchy, Orange Snack]?”

Saleswoman: *looking BEHIND me* “You’d better ask Mom first.”

My Friend: *still behind me* “I’m not his mom.”

Me: *gives saleswoman a dirty look* “Sure, [Son]. But you have to eat them later.”

(FYI: Dads CAN make decisions and not every woman near a kid is Mom!)

Tunicate posted:

[Crunchy, Orange Snack]

cash crab posted:

Yes, making a really banal assumption is a great reason to be a prick to someone. Also, what is the snack? A carrot?

ZDar Fan posted:

ZDar Fan posted:

HOOLY BOOLY posted:

This would count as something that doesn't happen right?




"it is i, your birth giver"

flosofl posted:

I can see it as some kind of weird family in-joke that's evolved over the years. But yeah, probably didn't happen.

sweeperbravo posted:

I hate how people don't realize inside jokes inherently, by their very name and nature, aren't funny to people on the outside. Like no one reads those jokes being like "Dang man lol I feel so left out I wish I could be in on that cool funny joke!!!"

HOOLY BOOLY posted:

This would count as something that doesn't happen right?




"it is i, your birth giver"

dregan posted:

Aren't the messages on the right ones sent from that phone?

quote:

The celebrity technique, one person dresses outlandishly, the two most muscular in plain black suits no ties, and a fourth person carries a clipboard and looks nervous, suddenly all the doors are open, ideally the celebrity must behave as though they are slightly drunk and assume anyone walking up to them wants a photograph.
This troper thinks that a PDA or iPhone, a headset and a bag obviously containing a laptop work best, especialy when calling out random names and times to the "celeb", who then responds with an affirmation or a slightly changed time, which is then repeated into the headset: "mumble mumble, Catherine's at sunday 13:00?" "hmmm, 13:30" "(into headset) She is at Catherine's from 13:30 till 15:00, taking traffic into account that means we'll get there at 15:45 at best so keep that timeslot open". Ideal combinations are a female "celeb" prefferably in a dress and sunglasses. One male casual guard and another male guard who gives Death Stares to everybody getting near and one male "technician" with regular glasses(rectangular ones work best). For the best effects, make sure one of the "guards" has a drivers license and when your crew makes landfall somewhere, have the assistant jump out first and chatter into his headset, followed by the driving causual guard, who helps the star get out who is then immediately accosted by the assistant with a pair of appointments while the serious guard gets out on his own and surveys the surroundings. The assistant can be switched ou for a slightly eccentric female advisor constantly giving good advice to the star if you are short on males. Male stars don't seem to work that well, neither do female assistants and female guards has never worked at all for us. Bonus point for the assistant/advisor to wear an ID card as if they just came from a press conference while the guards bring simple nametags and the celeb doesn't offer identification at all, acting as if everybody already knows her.

quote:

This troper has a friend who crashed at a rather well-known science-fiction convention for multiple days by using colored electrical tape to change his 1-Day Pass into a 3-Day Pass. When he finally got confronted by one of the security guard on his way out of the dealer's area, said friend smiled widely and whispered "Thank goodness you stopped me! You're the first person all day to look at the day, not just the badge color!" He then flashed his work ID, gave his company name as that of a private security firm that had been hired to test the volunteer security and then took the guard's name so that they would know who to report as actually doing their job. He then left the convention, deciding not to push his luck any further... but happy that he had conned his way out of being caught with style.

Khazar-khum posted:

PDA

quote:

and one male "technician" with regular glasses(rectangular ones work best)

sweeperbravo posted:

I hate how people don't realize inside jokes inherently, by their very name and nature, aren't funny to people on the outside. Like no one reads those jokes being like "Dang man lol I feel so left out I wish I could be in on that cool funny joke!!!"

quote:

A long, low, oxblood leather couch replaced the sagging old brown horsehair one, and there were two sets of bookshelves full of books [on the occult].... The biggest surprise was on the floor--two chicks sitting on a white rug....

..."We hope you like it, Mike, because we come with this apartment," said the blonde one named Lorraine

quote:

I swung the now screaming cat over the smoking caldron and then over the heart of the girl on the alter. Then, when the sword point touched the cat's belly, I thrust it in.

"Now!" I suddenly shouted.... I drew an upside-down star on the girl's stomach, with the freshly spilled blood. From the weird utterances that now came from her mouth, I knew we were being graced by the presence of one of the denizens of hell

quote:

Anyway, one day we were into this fire fight....Everybody is shooting at each other....

....All of a sudden: zoooom, zonk, and my arm is pinned to the ground with an arrow! I look over at this other Marine Corps sergeant, who goes, "Only you, man, only you!"

SEX BURRITO posted:

Here are some tedious as gently caress texts that were soooo hilarious that they got shared on Reddit a lot. And then the Daily Mail wrote about them.

Creepy as gently caress looking couple too. Especially her submissive collar.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Sinfest had this covered 16 years ago, almost to the day ():

invisible jerk posted:

Mike Warnke is a real weird guy, and his stories about being in a secret Satanic death drug orgy cult are purestrain stdh


http://answers.org/satan/warnke1.html

SEX BURRITO posted:

Creepy as gently caress looking couple too. Especially her submissive collar.

hyperhazard posted:

I just discovered him yesterday through a Fred Clark blog post. Dude had totally been part of a local Satanic cult until years later, when he learned about the Illuminati. Then, wait, all of a sudden he had totally been part of a global Satanic conspiracy

WickedHate posted:

They're insufferable, but this is a weird thing to get judgmental on.

Zelder posted:

Dog collars are for dogs! She should wear a people collar (which I guess is a nice button down? I don't know)

kizudarake posted:

Not really, it tells me way more than I want to know about her bedroom preferences. It also implicitly involves every person within eye- and earshot in their sexual dynamic, even if it's just as a passive observer.

Any act more intimate than a little light kissing, and handholding really should be kept between the people who have previously consented to be involved. D/s activities are way more intimate than that, even if there is no actual touching involved.

I really don't care what the combination of participants' gender is, or the quantity of participants, or (un)attractiveness levels of the participants are, unless I've explicitly consented to the act, keep it in private.

quote:

"My step-daughter wants her "Real Dad" to give her away"

My step-daughter will be getting married on August 3rd. The wedding planning has consumed most of her and her mother's life (I say her mother because we aren't married, though we've lived together for 10 years) for the past six months.

My step-daughter graduated last December from University. I paid for her to go to college, though it was a state school, it still ran $40K. She does not have a job and has been living with us for the duration of her college career and since her graduation. I also bought her a car to get back and forth from school when she finished high school.

From time to time her deadbeat father would pop into her life and she would fawn all over him. Although he has not contributed a cent to her education or paid any child support, though that is my girlfriend's fault as c.s. was not part of the settlement, she still loves him and wants him in her life. He stays long enough to break her heart by skipping town and breaking some promise that he made her.

The wedding venue holds 250 people max. I gave them a list of 20 people that I wanted invited, you know, since I was paying for everything. They told me that was no problem and they'd take care of it. So I let these people know they'd be getting an invite and they should save the date. Saturday, I saw one of my friends on this list at the golf course and asked if he was coming. He told me that he wasn't invited. He told me that he got an announcement, but not an invitation. He had it in his back seat (along with probably six months of mail) and showed it to me. Sure enough, it was just an announcement, and my name was nowhere on it. It had her dad's name and her mom's name and not mine.

This led to a pretty big fight with my GF, as I found out that NONE of my list of twenty "made the cut" for the final guest list because "250 people is very tight." I was pissed, but not a hell of a lot I could do because the important people in my life had already been offended. My GF said "if some people didn't rsvp yes, I might be able to get a couple people in." But that is an ultimate slap in the face in my opinion. So, I was boiling on Saturday.

Yesterday, we had a Sunday dinner with the future in-law's family and us and a surprise guest, the "Real Dad." At this little dinner my step-daughter announced that her "Real Dad" was going to be able to make it to her wedding and that now he'd be able to give her away. This was greeted with a chorus of "Oh how great" and "How wonderful"s.

I don't think I have ever felt so angry and so disrespected. I was shaking. I took a few seconds to gather my composure, because I honestly wasn't sure if I would cry or start throwing punches or both. Once I was sure I'd be able to speak I got up from my chair and said I'd like to make a toast. I can't remember exactly what I said but the gist of it was this:

"I'd like to make a toast." The sound of spoons against glasses ring in my years. "It has been my great pleasure to be a part of this family for the past ten years." Awe, how sweet. "At this point in my life I feel I owe a debt of gratitude to bride and groom, because they have opened my eyes to something very important." Confident smiles exchanged. "They have showed me that my position in this family is not what I once thought it was." And now a glimmer of confusion and shock begins to spread on the faces in the room. "Though I once thought of myself as the patriarch or godfather of the family, commanding great respect and sought out for help in times of need, it seems instead that I hold the position of an ATM, good for a stream of money, but not much else. As I have been replaced as host, both on the invitations and in the ceremony, I am resigning my financial duties as host to my successor, Real Dad. So cheers to the happy couple and the path they have chosen." I finished my drink. "You all can let yourselves out."

Is this selfish? I'm supposed to shell out 40 - 50 grand for a wedding that I can't invite anyone to? That I am not a part of? I'm so done with this crap. I'm done with my step-daughter, I'm done with my GF. I transferred the money out of our joint account last night. (she has not had a job since she moved in with me) This morning I called all the vendors I had written checks to for deposits to refund my money. At present it looks like I'll lose around 1500, for the venue, but the other vendors have been great about refunding.

TLDR: You want your "REAL DAD" to be on the invitation, to give you away and to sit at the head table, fine, your "REAL DAD" can pay for everything too.

EDIT: The immediate aftermath was tantrum and people sitting there mumbling while not actually saying anything to me, but to each other. After much yelling with the GF about me being selfish, I spent the night in my home office and no one knocked on my door, not once. Today's aftermath is kind of depressing for me. GF brought me Bride's wedding planner to show me how much work I was ruining. I thumbed through it, found a page in the music section for Father / Daughter dances. All of the songs were catered to Real Dad's taste. So I thought they were just being disrespectful, but now I'm feeling like they never really gave a crap at all, especially since the menu included two ingredients I'm allergic to, that actually made me laugh. Either way, I'm glad to be done, returned the planner and asked her when she and bride could move out. Also, I never promised to pay for the wedding. I offered them the use of my home when they were sure it was going to be small, but other than that, all I've heard is how it's the Bride's family that should pay, so, let it be the bride's family then, aka, not me.

EDIT: June 9th 1:15 am. Girlfriend and Bride are now moved out. They are moving in with the groom. It was very hard not to be petty with some of the "belongings" they took with them, but it's done and I switched out the locks and now it's time for a brew. I can't believe how popular this story got, but I feel good to be given support by so many. If I find out what happens with the wedding, I will let you know, but I can't guarantee that I will put in the effort to find out. From what I've heard they are trying to "scale things back" and get his parents to help out. GF burned bridges when I found out she tried to write herself a check on our joint account the day after the unpleasantness. By then I had already moved money, so I guess I'm a bigger rear end than her, but I could feel it coming. That's all. Thanks.

WickedHate posted:

You're assuming it's just sexual/sexual at all and not a valid lifestyle choice or even just a fashion thing.

kizudarake posted:

Do you want me to wear just my thin lounging boxers and a tank top while sitting next to you in a crowded movie theater before the show while my wife and I call each other syrupy sweet pet names and say we love each other constantly? It's not done in a sexual manner at all, and the boxers and tank top are a fashion choice.

WickedHate posted:

You're assuming it's just sexual/sexual at all and not a valid lifestyle choice or even just a fashion thing.

Murphy Brownback posted:

He has an extremely punchable face and her "look at my dog collar we are so kinky and wacky" picture is just insufferable, much like the incredibly mundane "trying too hard to be ~random~" relationship texts. I bet most of them were written for the sole purpose of "let's see how many upvotes this one gets".

Murphy Brownback posted:

e: vvv can you hook a leash to it and drag someone around with it? Then I'm calling it a dog collar.

Buttmeister posted:

I was shaking.

GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

Every time I see this, I think dude is worse than those ridiculous reality TV brides, goddamn

"Sure I'll pay for everything at your wedding! I love you like you're my own daughter. Wait, it's not all about me? gently caress you then. I'll throw a tantrum, embarrass the entire family, and take back my promise to support one of the most important days in you and your soon-to-be spouse's lives. I'm awesome."

How do you even write a STDH.txt in which you're the most obnoxious character and then post it online without a shred of self-awareness?

razorrozar posted:

The POV character in a story is never the bad guy, didn't you know?

These are probably the same people who think Walter White is the hero.

Buttmeister posted:

Creepy stepdad

ZDar Fan posted:

oldpainless posted:

Nah the stepdad is in the right. gently caress the stepdaughter and her mom

WickedHate posted:

You're assuming it's just sexual/sexual at all and not a valid lifestyle choice or even just a fashion thing.