Got a crazy forwarded political email from your family? Post them here.

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Professor Beetus: Apr 12, 2007; They can fight us
But they'll never Beetus

There's a part of it that's also rooted in the fact that modern conservatives are operating so far outside the bounds of reality, that they have no real concept of what other people might find funny.

# ? Feb 23, 2016 17:36

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# ? May 15, 2024 16:41

Dr. Arbitrary: Mar 15, 2006; Bleak Gremlin

ToxicSlurpee posted:

It's also prone to being more of an attack than a joke; it's spiteful to the core. It's mean. Good comedy doesn't go on the attack. If you pay careful attention to the best comedy one of the core messages is "hey we're all stupid and suck so let's laugh about it." Conservatism starts from "conservatives are awesome and beyond criticism now let's tear down everybody else."

That's not necessarily true. You can be incredibly mean to people, punching down, and still be really funny. The best satire cuts like a knife.

This is an incredibly unkind joke, the targets are people who are generally looked down on and honestly have a lot of external factors working against them:

Study: Many Americans Too Fat To Commit Suicide

Also:

Special Olympics T-Ball Stand Pitches Perfect Game

Dr. Arbitrary fucked around with this message at 17:42 on Feb 23, 2016

# ? Feb 23, 2016 17:40

nerd plus rage: May 12, 2014; It's a metaphor for something, probably

Wang_Tang posted:

Is there a word (possibly foreign) that encapsulates the incredible rage, depression, frustration, confusion, and darkness that Matt Walsh is describing?

Here's a pronunciation guide for it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H47ow4_Cmk0

# ? Feb 23, 2016 17:47

Eggplant Squire: Aug 14, 2003

Even conservatives don't find conservative comedy funny which is why they all get canceled or relegated to twitter.

# ? Feb 23, 2016 17:51

Julio Cruz: May 19, 2006

The reason things like the Daily Show and Colbert Report worked is that (despite what O'Reilly and others would have you believe) they weren't obviously partisan, they'd make jokes about anything funny or stupid whether it was the Dems or the GOP. I can't imagine a Fox "comedy" series laughing at Jeb's gun tweet or Trump's new feud with the Pope or Ben Carson getting lost on the way to his debate podium. Plus if you're going to go the whole way and have a live audience then either you need to record it in a conservative city (and there aren't many choices there, maybe Atlanta or St Louis?) or you have to screen your audience beforehand to make sure they're not just going to boo when you criticise BLM or blame Hillary for Bill's affairs or call Bernie an evil Marxist.

# ? Feb 23, 2016 18:04

Selachian: Oct 9, 2012

Julio Cruz posted:

. Plus if you're going to go the whole way and have a live audience then either you need to record it in a conservative city (and there aren't many choices there, maybe Atlanta or St Louis?)

Branson, Missouri.

# ? Feb 23, 2016 18:43

Shrecknet: Jan 2, 2005

Selachian posted:

Branson, Missouri.

Yaakov Smirnov is making four million dollars a year doing his "In Soviet Russia" act there 8 times a week. Branson is truly the worst place, like Vegas without any of the fun.

# ? Feb 23, 2016 18:46

Agents are GO!: Dec 29, 2004

Does anyone have that little anti-libertarian story that ends with "and then he got on his computer and made posts about how the government is horrible" handy? I'm mocking libertarians if Facebook and it would come in handy.

# ? Feb 23, 2016 18:47

ToxicSlurpee: Nov 5, 2003; -=SEND HELP=-; Pillbug

Julio Cruz posted:

The reason things like the Daily Show and Colbert Report worked is that (despite what O'Reilly and others would have you believe) they weren't obviously partisan, they'd make jokes about anything funny or stupid whether it was the Dems or the GOP. I can't imagine a Fox "comedy" series laughing at Jeb's gun tweet or Trump's new feud with the Pope or Ben Carson getting lost on the way to his debate podium. Plus if you're going to go the whole way and have a live audience then either you need to record it in a conservative city (and there aren't many choices there, maybe Atlanta or St Louis?) or you have to screen your audience beforehand to make sure they're not just going to boo when you criticise BLM or blame Hillary for Bill's affairs or call Bernie an evil Marxist.

One thing I actually had to sit down and explain to multiple conservatives I've known is that comedians make fun of Republicans so much because it's just so damned easy. The party over the years has just increasingly become an insane fever dream parody of itself. You don't even need to make jokes anymore; you can basically just start reading the news and it's funny how insane the party has gotten.

# ? Feb 23, 2016 18:48

Eggplant Squire: Aug 14, 2003

ToxicSlurpee posted:

One thing I actually had to sit down and explain to multiple conservatives I've known is that comedians make fun of Republicans so much because it's just so damned easy. The party over the years has just increasingly become an insane fever dream parody of itself. You don't even need to make jokes anymore; you can basically just start reading the news and it's funny how insane the party has gotten.

Consequently people don't believe me when I list the terrible stuff they do since it's so crazy. "There's no way someone would do that and if it did surely there would be some protection against it."

# ? Feb 23, 2016 18:50

Dr. Arbitrary: Mar 15, 2006; Bleak Gremlin

"You can't fire someone just because they're gay, that HAS to be against the law!"

# ? Feb 23, 2016 19:09

Proust Malone: Apr 4, 2008

Bast Relief posted:

Both of my parents went to college and graduated with zero debt, not because it was free, but because it was super cheap. Now, they both worked and barely got by, but they actually owned a house at the time. So, 25 years old, both have degrees, own a house, sell it a few years later and upgrade. Regular middle class people, only a little support from family.

gently caress you boomers calling today's young people entitled.

Unfortunately for my parents though, it was all for naught due to the huge costs of their parents' death, their own health costs, layoffs, ageism in hiring, and predatory loans. So, ha ha. Take that. ...and here I am, still apartment living at 35 looking at somewhere down the road having to support my parents on what little I've managed to wring out of the system.

One of the things that makes the military so attractive is this right here. When reaganomics came for the new deal, the army still had the pull to avoid the changes. So military folks still get housing, universal medical, a pension, free college, a housing loan, etc.

It really is the best deal going for kids out of high school. Unless you've got a scholarship to a big name university, the military is the best option.

# ? Feb 23, 2016 19:56

Yoshifan823: Feb 19, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

computer parts posted:

You clearly don't watch CBS.

Actually, CBS's comedies aren't terribly conservative. BBT is as apolitical as comedy goes, and Mom is surprisingly thoughtful about addiction for a Chuck Lorre sitcom.

You want a conservative comedy, look at Last Man Standing. Tim Allen plays an Ideal Republican Father.

# ? Feb 23, 2016 20:22

razorrozar: Feb 21, 2012; by Cyrano4747

Yoshifan823 posted:

You want a conservative comedy, look at Last Man Standing.

Or spare yourself and let someone else look at it for you.

# ? Feb 23, 2016 20:24

the heebie-gbs: Apr 23, 2007; _{♫ twerrrmmmmm ♫}
/

This is being circulated unironically on facebook:

quote:

TRUMP'S FIRST DAY AS PRESIDENT
1. President Donald J. Trump is sworn into office.
2. In a rare event on inauguration day, Congress convenes for an emergency meeting to repeal the illegal and unconstitutional Socialist Healthcare Farce piece of poo poo, known as the unconstitutional obamacare.The new Director of Health and Social Services Dr. Ben Carson announces that an independent group of healthcare management professionals is hired to handle healthcare services for poor and low income people. They are also assigned the duty of eliminating Medicare and Medicaid fraud. Government's costs for public healthcare are reduced by 90%. Healthcare insurance premiums for working Americans are reduced by 50%. The move saves billions of taxpayer paid dollars. Healthcare service in the U.S improves 100%.
3. Newly appointed Department of Homeland Security Chief Lt. Col. Allen West announces the immediate deployment of troops to the U.S. Mexico border to control illegal immigration and the immediate deportation of illegals with criminal records or links to terrorist groups. New bio-encrypted Social Security IDs are required by every American citizen. Birthright to illegals is abolished. All immigration from countries that represent a threat to the safety of American citizens is terminated indefinitely. The move saves American taxpayers billions of dollars. Several prisons are closed.
4. Newly appointed Secretary of Business and Economic Development Sarah Palin eliminates more than half of the Government agencies operating under the Obama administration saving taxpayers billions of dollars. Stocks rise 100%.
5. Newly appointed Director of Government Finance Donald Trump Jr. announces the abolition of the IRS and displays a copy of the new Federal Tax Return form. It consists of one page. The instructions consist of two pages. The Federal Reserve is audited. The move saves American Taxpayers billions of dollars and increases tax revenue.
6. Hillary Clinton is in prison, where she belongs. Her cell is directly across from Jessie Jackson and Reverend Al Sharpton (who has NEVER been an ordained reverend) who are serving time for 'Hate Crimes". She bitches at them constantly from behind the bars of her cell in what some might call 'cruel and unusual punishment'.
7. U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders is in the nuthouse, where he belongs. His room is directly across from Nancy Pelosielosi, Debbie Wasserman Schultz, Chris Matthewshews and U.S. Senator Al Franken. They meet for tea every day at 10 AM and discuss the success and benefits of Communism and Socialism throughout the world. They also wonder when the "Mothership" is going to pick them up and return them to their home planets.
8. Barack Obama flees the United States under cover of darkness and returns to his homeland of kenya before his trial for treason begins. He deplanes on a remote jungle airstrip. It was reported that he was last seen wandering through the jungle singing "Hakuna Matata" with a chimp named Osama Commie.
9. A committee is not established to determine what is causing global cooling. Billions of taxpayer dollars are saved.
10. Dead people are no longer allowed to vote in Chicago, a huge blow for the Democrat Party in the State of Illinois.
And this my friends is just DAY ONE!

# ? Feb 23, 2016 20:26

Dr. Arbitrary: Mar 15, 2006; Bleak Gremlin

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3731521

# ? Feb 23, 2016 20:33

Shrecknet: Jan 2, 2005

I hope whoever wrote that gets the help they need

# ? Feb 23, 2016 20:33

Polybius91: Jun 4, 2012; Cobrastan is not a real country.

the heebie-gbs posted:

This is being circulated unironically on facebook:

don't stop i'm almost there

EDIT: also, lol if the writer thinks a party depending on using voter ID laws to disenfranchise the poor is going to make biometric ID cards for all citizens

# ? Feb 23, 2016 20:34

Dr. Arbitrary: Mar 15, 2006; Bleak Gremlin

While people without SINs are officially known as "probationary citizens", a person without a SIN is referred to colloquially as SINless, a term that usually denotes an illegal alien or criminal. "Probationary Citizens" have no legal rights and are not allowed to vote. When a criminal is caught and cannot be associated with a legal SIN, they are issued a temporary criminal SIN for processing and record keeping.

# ? Feb 23, 2016 20:41

Deep State of Mind: Jul 30, 2006; "It was a busy day. I do not remember it all. In the morning, I thought I had lost my wallet. Then we went swimming and either overthrew a government or started a pro-American radio station. I can't really remember."; Fun Shoe

That must be Poe's Law in action. It had to have been originally written as a parody. Not a single title given in that piece is an actual office in the federal government

# ? Feb 23, 2016 21:01

Ashcans: Jan 2, 2006; Let's do the space-time warp again!

I enjoy the steady descent from repealing legislation you don't like to imprisoning your political opponents without trial before ending in pure ranting fantasy. You can practically see the spittle flying.

# ? Feb 23, 2016 21:01

Eggplant Squire: Aug 14, 2003

See if you can get people to post the one about Obama giving the guy rubella unironically next.

# ? Feb 23, 2016 21:02

Deep State of Mind: Jul 30, 2006; "It was a busy day. I do not remember it all. In the morning, I thought I had lost my wallet. Then we went swimming and either overthrew a government or started a pro-American radio station. I can't really remember."; Fun Shoe

I'm the Secretary of Business. I'm in charge of all the business.

# ? Feb 23, 2016 21:04

Eggplant Squire: Aug 14, 2003

Can I ask you about franchise opportunities?

# ? Feb 23, 2016 21:10

SpeedyCow: Oct 8, 2001; I luv the itty bitty Phillies!
I luv the itty bitty Phillies!
I luv the itty bitty Phillies!

Bloodnose posted:

I'm the Secretary of Business. I'm in charge of all the business.

I read this in a Jack Donaghy voice

# ? Feb 23, 2016 21:22

Pomplamoose: Jun 28, 2008

Julio Cruz posted:

The reason things like the Daily Show and Colbert Report worked is that (despite what O'Reilly and others would have you believe) they weren't obviously partisan, they'd make jokes about anything funny or stupid whether it was the Dems or the GOP. I can't imagine a Fox "comedy" series laughing at Jeb's gun tweet or Trump's new feud with the Pope or Ben Carson getting lost on the way to his debate podium. Plus if you're going to go the whole way and have a live audience then either you need to record it in a conservative city (and there aren't many choices there, maybe Atlanta or St Louis?) or you have to screen your audience beforehand to make sure they're not just going to boo when you criticise BLM or blame Hillary for Bill's affairs or call Bernie an evil Marxist.

Only if you put a "whites only" sign at the entrance.

# ? Feb 23, 2016 21:23

Ashcans: Jan 2, 2006; Let's do the space-time warp again!

Atlanta isn't even that conservative among the white population, assuming that you are talking about the city itself. All the real conservatives live in the surrounding towns and commute into the city so that they don't have to live in an urban environment.

# ? Feb 23, 2016 21:33

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

the heebie-gbs posted:

This is being circulated unironically on facebook:

It reads like a modern day Game of Thrones "Cercei takes the helm of Kings Landing." And an office for YOU, and an office for YOU, and one for YOU.

# ? Feb 23, 2016 22:34

Proust Malone: Apr 4, 2008

Concealed carry totally works guys.

http://www.nola.com/crime/index.ssf/2016/02/multiple_arrests_made_in_espla.html

Expect to see vigorous masturbation in fwd:fwd:fwd land

# ? Feb 23, 2016 22:35

Evrart Claire: Jan 11, 2008

Ron Jeremy posted:

Concealed carry totally works guys.

http://www.nola.com/crime/index.ssf/2016/02/multiple_arrests_made_in_espla.html

Expect to see vigorous masturbation in fwd:fwd:fwd land

This is almost a month old now, but a couple weeks ago I saw someone on my feed "give 3 examples" of concealed carry working that was links to 3 different articles about this story.

# ? Feb 23, 2016 22:41

Gounads: Mar 13, 2013; Where am I?
How did I get here?

Zerilan posted:

This is almost a month old now, but a couple weeks ago I saw someone on my feed "give 3 examples" of concealed carry working that was links to 3 different articles about this story.

Well... 4 people were shot, so 4 examples?

# ? Feb 23, 2016 22:57

Minghawk: Oct 9, 2012

Julio Cruz posted:

The reason things like the Daily Show and Colbert Report worked is that (despite what O'Reilly and others would have you believe) they weren't obviously partisan, they'd make jokes about anything funny or stupid whether it was the Dems or the GOP. I can't imagine a Fox "comedy" series laughing at Jeb's gun tweet or Trump's new feud with the Pope or Ben Carson getting lost on the way to his debate podium.

From what I can gather, Conservative comedy in the US isn't so much defined by what it targets, but more by what it doesn't. They'd not be too happy with it being described this way, but what the small audience for this stuff is looking for is a safe space where they know certain things won't be criticised.

During the GWB presidency there was a gag on the Simpsons that involved Skinner looting a classroom for computers (or something along those lines), and Lisa's objection was met with 'Yeah, welcome to Dick Cheney's America'. The reaction among conservatives to that line was the full frothing meltdown, foot-through-the-TV, never watching this LIBERAL PROPAGANDA again kind of mania that we all relish, and all it took was one line in a show that had been incredibly gentle to Dubya's administration up to that point. That's the problem that conservative comedy faces: the audience is far too delicate and prone to being offended, so all you can deal in is old-style racism and wife beating jokes.

# ? Feb 23, 2016 23:03

Verisimilidude: Dec 20, 2006; Strike quick and hurry at him,
not caring to hit or miss.
So that you dishonor him before the judges

The big difference between strawman conservatives and strawman liberals is that SM liberals get mocked by both sides while SM conservatives are currently leading in the GOP primaries.

# ? Feb 24, 2016 00:10

PhazonLink: Jul 17, 2010

Fox, owned by noted liberal Rupert Murdoch.

# ? Feb 24, 2016 00:15

duffmensch: Feb 20, 2004; Duffman is thrusting in the direction of the problem!

Agents are GO! posted:

Does anyone have that little anti-libertarian story that ends with "and then he got on his computer and made posts about how the government is horrible" handy? I'm mocking libertarians if Facebook and it would come in handy.

It's been a while since I busted this out:

quote:

This morning I was awoken by my alarm clock powered by electricity generated by the public power monopoly regulated by the U.S. Department of Energy.

I then took a shower in the clean water provided by a municipal water utility.

After that, I turned on the TV to one of the FCC-regulated channels to see what the National Weather Service of the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration determined the weather was going to be like, using satellites designed, built, and launched by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration.

I watched this while eating my breakfast of U.S. Department of Agriculture-inspected food and taking the drugs which have been determined as safe by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.

At the appropriate time, as regulated by the U.S. Congress and kept accurate by the National Institute of Standards and Technology and the U.S. Naval Observatory, I get into my National Highway Traffic Safety Administration-approved automobile and set out to work on the roads build by the local, state, and federal Departments of Transportation, possibly stopping to purchase additional fuel of a quality level determined by the Environmental Protection Agency, using legal tender issued by the Federal Reserve Bank.

On the way out the door I deposit any mail I have to be sent out via the U.S. Postal Service and drop the kids off at the public school.

After spending another day not being maimed or killed at work thanks to the workplace regulations imposed by the Department of Labor and the Occupational Safety and Health administration, enjoying another two meals which again do not kill me because of the USDA, I drive my NHTSA car back home on the DOT roads, to my house which has not burned down in my absence because of the state and local building codes and Fire Marshal's inspection, and which has not been plundered of all its valuables thanks to the local police department.

And then I log on to the internet -- which was developed by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Administration -- and post on Freerepublic.com and Fox News forums about how SOCIALISM in medicine is BAD because the government can't do anything right.

# ? Feb 24, 2016 00:32

Agents are GO!: Dec 29, 2004

Thank you!

# ? Feb 24, 2016 03:51

cheese sandwich: Feb 9, 2009

the heebie-gbs posted:

This is being circulated unironically on facebook:

Has that whole dead people voting thing ever happened anywhere that wasn't the Simpsons or is it just something people are :tinfoil:

about because their team didn't win

# ? Feb 24, 2016 05:10

MasterSlowPoke: Oct 9, 2005; Our courage will pull us through

Minghawk posted:

From what I can gather, Conservative comedy in the US isn't so much defined by what it targets, but more by what it doesn't. They'd not be too happy with it being described this way, but what the small audience for this stuff is looking for is a safe space where they know certain things won't be criticised.

During the GWB presidency there was a gag on the Simpsons that involved Skinner looting a classroom for computers (or something along those lines), and Lisa's objection was met with 'Yeah, welcome to Dick Cheney's America'. The reaction among conservatives to that line was the full frothing meltdown, foot-through-the-TV, never watching this LIBERAL PROPAGANDA again kind of mania that we all relish, and all it took was one line in a show that had been incredibly gentle to Dubya's administration up to that point. That's the problem that conservative comedy faces: the audience is far too delicate and prone to being offended, so all you can deal in is old-style racism and wife beating jokes.

Did the Simpsons ever have GWB in an episode? I always thought his absence was odd.

Edit: besides the cardboard cutout in Two Bad Neighbors of course.

# ? Feb 24, 2016 05:10

muscles like this!: Jan 17, 2005

MasterSlowPoke posted:

Did the Simpsons ever have GWB in an episode? I always thought his absence was odd.

He and JEB were referenced in the episode where HW moves across the street from them. Although in that episode I believe they called him "George Bush Jr."

# ? Feb 24, 2016 05:12

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# ? May 15, 2024 16:41

Tarezax: Sep 12, 2009; MORT cancels dance: interrupted by MORT

Slightly Toasted posted:

Has that whole dead people voting thing ever happened anywhere that wasn't the Simpsons or is it just something people are about because their team didn't win

It has happened, but I don't think anyone ever impersonates a dead person to go vote. Instead they just "find" a box of ballots in a cardboard box somewhere.

# ? Feb 24, 2016 05:32

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > Got a crazy forwarded political email from your family? Post them here.

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