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Breaking Beck
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Mar 3, 2016 10:45
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GaussianCopula posted:Nope, he instead wrote a love letter to Hillary.  , that Atomkraft Nein Danke sticker in the background
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Mar 3, 2016 12:10
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I CANNOT EJACULATE WITHOUT SEEING NATIVE AMERICANS BRUTALISED!
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My Lovely Horse posted:"People who want drugs legalized are probably quite fond of drugs" - the kind of groundbreaking political insight only Junge Union can provide. Well, there are probably some weirdos like me who hate drugs but still want them legalized because they think the criminalization of drugs does more damage than good. So yeah, the Junge Union is also plain wrong on top of that.
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Mar 3, 2016 12:49
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My Lovely Horse posted:"People who want drugs legalized are probably quite fond of drugs" - the kind of groundbreaking political insight only Junge Union can provide. They are pointing out that Beck, who wanted to legalize weed not crystal meth, always said that weed is not a gateway drug and that there is a big difference between weed (good drug) and other drugs like heroine or crystal meth (bad drugs).
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Mar 3, 2016 13:00
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nooooooo "Grüner Politiker mit Panzerschokolade in der Tasche erwischt" wäre perfekt gewesen
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Mar 3, 2016 13:25
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waitwhatno posted:nooooooo lol if you think bild leser would understand that headline
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Mar 3, 2016 14:12
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botany posted:lol if you think bild leser would understand that headline They would because Bild helpfully has published this article for them http://www.bild.de/regional/berlin/adolf-hitler/hitlers-panzerschokolade-wurde-crystal-meth-44785700.bild.html
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Mar 3, 2016 14:16
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GaussianCopula posted:They would because Bild helpfully has published this article for them "Warum sehe ich BILD.de nicht?" A good question I don't want to know the answer to.
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Mar 3, 2016 14:21
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Schurik posted:"Warum sehe ich BILD.de nicht?" I'm still amazed that not every other news site is copying this system and insteads continues to beg it's users to turn off the adblocker.
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Mar 3, 2016 14:29
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GaussianCopula posted:I'm still amazed that not every other news site is copying this system and insteads continues to beg it's users to turn off the adblocker. Maybe its because Bild.de is cratering in the number of users per month ever since they switched?
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Mar 3, 2016 14:42
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GaussianCopula posted:They would because Bild helpfully has published this article for them I absolutely love all the talk about "Teufelsdroge"/"Kristalle des Teufels", while it's still being regularly prescribed to small kids all around the world. 
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Mar 3, 2016 14:43
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Can anyone tell me where the largest concentrations of refugees are located in germany? I've googled but you only get news articles supplying no concrete information
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Mar 3, 2016 15:42
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Surprise Giraffe posted:Can anyone tell me where the largest concentrations of refugees are located in germany? I've googled but you only get news articles supplying no concrete information This is half a year old. The first map shows how many refugees are taken in per 1000 persons. http://www.zeit.de/gesellschaft/zeitgeschehen/2015-08/fluechtlinge-verteilung-quote As it is half a year old (seriously, why doesn't that poo poo get updated once a month?) the numbers are all wrong, but the percentages may still match or be close so you may get an idea. German Qualitätsjournalismus.
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Mar 3, 2016 16:21
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There was a thing on Spiegel Online yesterday that sort of answers the question for February 2016, at least on a per-state basis. If you take the total number of 1091894 and run it through the percentages given in the first graph, plus the differences from the quota that are also given in the first graph, you get absolute numbers of refugees in a given state. But I don't think there's a case where the differences are large enough to change anything, so you could just look at the Königssteiner Schlüssel directly. I'm not sure whether anyone's going to be able to find better information than this and the Zeit map, considering that the situation is a huge clusterfuck. Like, "not being able to find concrete information" presupposes that anyone HAS that concrete information in the first place.
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Mar 3, 2016 16:47
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Smirr posted:Like, "not being able to find concrete information" presupposes that anyone HAS that concrete information in the first place. I don't think numbers are "hidden", it's just that there is no form on the computer of the worker in a refugee camp to type the data in. The first time i had to go to the Arbeitsagentur when i was young(er) i told them my job description is "Elektroniker für Automatisierungstechnik". The lady told me that the field for job description doesn't allow that many characters and asked me for an alternate description. edit:(After reading over that, i think i mean "job title" instead of description)
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Mar 3, 2016 17:19
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Surprise Giraffe posted:Can anyone tell me where the largest concentrations of refugees are located in germany? I've googled but you only get news articles supplying no concrete information Migrants Crime Map might answer your question https://www.google.com/maps/d/viewer?mid=z12D0zt-V4iI.kXGfjpzjOS1Q
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Mar 4, 2016 03:26
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I wouldn't rely too much on some concerned citizen's outrage wank material for anything serious. I'd barely trust that to give me the shape of Germany.
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Mar 4, 2016 08:05
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Every marker provides a police report as source...
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Mar 4, 2016 08:39
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Fiet Fiet posted:Migrants Crime Map might answer your question Looking at a mid-sized city... woah, six whole crimes! Oh my Lord. Real Mad Max situation you got over there. Y'know, if y'all had guns that wouldn't happen!!! BrutalistMcDonalds fucked around with this message at 09:33 on Mar 4, 2016 |
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Mar 4, 2016 08:52
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I could make you a map like that about any social group in the world if I had the obsessive inclination to crawl through police reports and pick only those that confirmed my preset idea of what the trend is.
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Mar 4, 2016 08:56
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Looks like refugees are committing even worse crimes than those in Cologne, they are RAUBKOPIERER! I wonder if the film and music industry will create new ads where people get deported for being RAUBKOPIERER, just like the ones where Daddy was in prison for 5 years. http://www.spiegel.de/netzwelt/web/fluechtlinge-tappen-in-abmahnfallen-a-1080499.html GaussianCopula fucked around with this message at 09:10 on Mar 4, 2016 |
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Mar 4, 2016 09:01
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^^^ *gasp* ^^^Fiet Fiet posted:Every marker provides a police report as source... I just clicked a marker at random and it sent me to an article just saying that the (unknown) perps were described as kinda Arabic-looking. Guess they must have been Flüchtlinge ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Mar 4, 2016 09:03
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Hey, be fair, it's the map of "Migranten-/Flüchtlingskriminalität" so you better meet the standard of Looking German if you want to avoid becoming an internet boogeyman story. Have I mentioned yet what I think about the whole thing where this was like "hey does anyone know where the largest concentrations of refugees are" - "JUST LOOK AT WHERE THE CRIMES HAPPEN"?
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Mar 4, 2016 09:13
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System Metternich posted:
our long national nightmare is finally over  quote:Lieber Volker Beck, It's a shame this letter and the Hitlerdroge-headline weren't in the same issue
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Mar 4, 2016 12:27
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Omi-Polari posted:As an American, looking at that map and realizing that Germany is a country of 80+ million people, doesn't look that bad really. This looks like the US map of people shot by cops in density 
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Mar 4, 2016 12:31
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Wenn ein Mensch auf einer Bananenschale ausrutscht, lache ich. Über Völker Beck lache ich nicht.
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Mar 4, 2016 13:21
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Smirr posted:our long national nightmare is finally over Franz Josef Wagner, professional idiot (as always), but at least he wasn't spewing bile in addition to his usual nonsense
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Mar 4, 2016 14:38
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System Metternich posted:Franz Josef Wagner, professional idiot (as always), but at least he wasn't spewing bile in addition to his usual nonsense Es ist Nacht in der BILD Redaktion, 23 Uhr. Ein talentloser Hirni hackt sinnlos auf eine Tastatur ein. Wieso macht er das? Ich glaube, dass wir es hier mit einem verzweifelten Menschen zu tun haben, einem Menschen in einer dunklen Straße.
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Mar 4, 2016 15:51
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I literally can't get over how FJW said somebody on a dark street was on a dark street and made it sound like a metaphor.
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Mar 4, 2016 15:53
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Stay calm, citizens, the Greens man does so well in talk shows because he's on Satan drugs, not because he's right or anything. You can disregard his contributions the same way you can Lance Armstrong's Tour de France wins.
My Lovely Horse fucked around with this message at 15:57 on Mar 4, 2016 |
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Mar 4, 2016 15:55
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My Lovely Horse posted:Stay calm, citizens, the Greens man does so well in talk shows because he's on Satan drugs, not because he's right or anything.
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Mar 4, 2016 15:57
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Cingulate posted:I literally can't get over how FJW said somebody on a dark street was on a dark street and made it sound like a metaphor. So is he just the German version of Thomas Friedman at this point?
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Mar 4, 2016 15:58
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I know I'm spending way too much time on this forum, because right now, I am not 100% convinced that it wasn't just satirical shitposting by him. That letter is like something straight out of GBS. I can't tell satire from reality anymore, at least not with 100% certainty.
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Mar 4, 2016 16:08
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My Lovely Horse posted:Stay calm, citizens, the Greens man does so well in talk shows because he's on Satan drugs, not because he's right or anything. You can disregard his contributions the same way you can Lance Armstrong's Tour de France wins. Ich lachte über Lance Armstrongs Fall genau so wie über den Fall desjenigen, der auf einer Bananenschale ausrutschte. Das ist mit Volker Beck überhaupt nicht zu vergleichen, auf der dunklen Straße kann ich ja gar nicht sehen, wenn der ausrutscht!
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Mar 4, 2016 16:10
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I just looked up Wagner on wikipedia, and lmao:quote:1991 folgte die Boulevard-Zeitschrift Super!, deren Chefredakteur er wurde. Sie war als für Ostdeutschland konzipierte Konkurrenz zu Bild gedacht, wurde aber nach einem Jahr wieder eingestellt. Mit Wagners Schlagzeile „Angeber-Wessi mit Bierflasche erschlagen – Ganz Bernau ist glücklich, daß er tot ist“ vom 3. Mai 1991 verlieh er Super! bereits am zweiten Erscheinungstag das Image eines Revolverblattes.
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Mar 4, 2016 16:18
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Max Goldt posted:Ein ganz neues, zugegeben, makabres Hobby ist es mir, die neue Tageszeitung "Super!" zu lesen, die nur 30 Pfennig kostet, ausschließlich für die Menschen im Beitrittsgebiet konzipiert ist, und daher mit nichts anderem als Gejammer darüber angefüllt ist, wie schlecht es den Menschen dort geht und wie unglaublich gemein die sogenannten Wessis sind. Die Ausgabe vom 3. Mai z.B. trägt eine Titelzeile, die in ihrer Exaltiertheit im Westen ja vielleicht doch nicht denkbar wäre. Direkt unter dem roten Super!-Logo steht: Angeber-Wessi mit Bierflasche erschlagen – Ganz Bernau ist glücklich, daß er tot ist. Tröstlich immerhin, daß diese Meldung vielleicht einfach erfunden ist. Garantiert aus den Fingern gelutscht ist folgende Meldung vom Titel des nächsten Tages: Lob für Super! - London/Berlin - "Endlich haben die Ostdeutschen etwas, wofür es sich lohnt, aufzustehen", schreibt die angesehene Londoner Tageszeitung "The Independent" über die neue Ausgabe von Super! Seit wann besprechen ausländische Tageszeitungen denn Erstausgaben deutscher Revolverblätter?
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Mar 4, 2016 16:36
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Ich hoffe, die Briten haben noch ein paar von diesen Flugzeugen über.
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Mar 6, 2016 23:49
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Dear Heiko, WHY? At least have your girlfriend do the clapping, that might look cute, but don't do it this wayquote:Junge, ist das peinlich. Megasuperpeinlich: Dieses laute, kräftige Einzelklatschen, sobald Justizminister Heiko Maas einen Satz zu Ende formuliert hat. Das ist von einer Penetranz, die sogar Anne Will stört. Und so decouvriert sie den Claqueur und begrüßt den Pressesprecher des Ministers einzeln. Der Klatscher verstummt daraufhin und Heiko Maas bekommt von da an – keinen Applaus mehr. Es rührt sich nicht eine Hand.
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Mar 7, 2016 07:20
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Often people say refugees get promised "a job, a house and a hot blonde girlfriend" by traffickers. Well, it seems that Siggi Pop is now parroting that line as well when meeting with refugees. But read for yourselfquote:Er führt aus, wie sich das mit dem Bleiberecht verhält in Deutschland. Welche Möglichkeiten es gibt, was man tue, dass das Gesetz gerade verändert werde. Er zeigt Verständnis. Nach einer dreieinhalbjährigen Ausbildung könne man danach immerhin schon mal zwei Jahre in Deutschland arbeiten. „Who knows was dann ist?“, sagt Gabriel. „Weil inzwischen wird er sich ne deutsche Freundin besorgen und heiraten.“ Gelächter im Raum, er klopft dem Asylbewerber auf die Schultern, der sagt etwas über Kontakte zu Deutschen. „Wenn in Deutschland was einfach ist, dann das“, sagt Gabriel. You can read the full article here http://www.faz.net/aktuell/politik/inland/sozialdemokraten-das-schrumpfen-der-spd-14108856.html?printPagedArticle=true After laughing about Siggi Pop's latest ideocy, a colleguae of mine noted, that the current trends with regards to dating habits actually indicate that it will be very difficult for refugees to find a meaningful relationship (note: never talk to a quantitative strategist about dating shortly after his girlfriend broke up with him) as woman almost marry people from a lower social class which reduces the class of potentially eligible German dating partners to the demographics that are becoming increasingly racist. In Eastern Germany this trend is even exacerbated by the fact that a lot of young woman leave for better opportunities in other parts of Germany, while the men exhibit a far lower propensity to move, creating a nice thunderdome of refugees and racists to compete for the few fair maidens.
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Mar 9, 2016 10:25
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There are basically no refugees in the east though? Also yes, policies that actively make the refugee population more male are idiotic on every level. Everything should be done to balance out genders - not only for humanitarian reasons, but also because young men are already horrible enough when there is in principle a woman for each of them, numerically speaking.
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Mar 9, 2016 10:32
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