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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > TRUMP: holy FUCK its november 8th

«‹›14088 »

Bryter: Nov 6, 2011; but since we are small we may-
uh, we may be the losers

EugeneJ posted:

https://web.archive.org/web/20050319093355/http://www.geocities.com/mnussitch/gossip.html

I don't know if quite I believe that Leonardo Dicaprio is a tickle fetishist with a sexual history with Q-Tip, but I sure do want to

# ? Mar 5, 2016 17:11

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 13, 2024 19:47

Montasque: Jul 18, 2003; Living in a hateful world sending me straight to Heaven

# ? Mar 5, 2016 17:14

Al!: Apr 2, 2010

heh, wait till they get a load of me on twitter

# ? Mar 5, 2016 17:16

Nonsense: Jan 26, 2007

Montasque posted:

TRUMP

# ? Mar 5, 2016 17:21

Hamhandler: Aug 9, 2008; [I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.

evilweasel posted:

ahahahaha I love that no matter what the situation you can rely on cruz to try to gently caress over other republicans for his own benefit

I don't even know what the benefit for Cruz would be here.

He's down 30 points in a winner-takes-all state. Rubio has very little shot of winning either. Meanwhile, there are contests that Cruz theoretically could actually win between now and Florida.

# ? Mar 5, 2016 17:26

FistEnergy: Nov 3, 2000; DAY CREW: WORKING HARD; Fun Shoe

Montasque posted:

well I'm Stumped

# ? Mar 5, 2016 17:26

Kylra: Dec 1, 2006; Not a cute boy, just a boring girl.

Catfish Noodlin posted:

I don't even know what the benefit for Cruz would be here.

He's down 30 points in a winner-takes-all state. Rubio has very little shot of winning either. Meanwhile, there are contests that Cruz theoretically could actually win between now and Florida.

He wants to kill Rubio and absorb his power, Highlander style.

# ? Mar 5, 2016 17:29

Sinestro: Oct 31, 2010; The perfect day needs the perfect set of wheels.

Goddamn it, I don't know who I want to punch more in that picture. I'll go with all of them, but I'll punch the Trumpstaffel member a few times.

# ? Mar 5, 2016 17:33

Dr.Zeppelin: Dec 5, 2003

dorkasaurus_rex posted:

http://bigstory.ap.org/article/b9608a1938804aebbe01a8f0fc1657ea/racial-feud-erupts-republicans-fight-unstoppable-trump

The GOP is doomed in a historic and unprecedented way.

either they will support him outright or they will hold their noses and pull the lever because hillary is worse

#nevertrump bluster from the GOP is complete bullshit until proven otherwise as evidenced by the most recent debate

all this "GOP is dooooooomed" stuff is the same wishful thinking dems had after 2008

# ? Mar 5, 2016 17:35

Dapper_Swindler: Feb 14, 2012; Im glad my instant dislike in you has been validated again and again.

Catfish Noodlin posted:

I don't even know what the benefit for Cruz would be here.

He's down 30 points in a winner-takes-all state. Rubio has very little shot of winning either. Meanwhile, there are contests that Cruz theoretically could actually win between now and Florida.

Cruz is probaly the best Not-trump since he manages him the most in his awful bullshit ideology, plus he is a religious nut. not voter wise though.

# ? Mar 5, 2016 17:36

Lote: Aug 5, 2001; Place your bets

I kinda wish George W would play a bigger role in politics now because after that debate Ted's nickname would have been changed from "Theodore" to either "Booger" or "Boogeyman".

# ? Mar 5, 2016 17:36

Kylra: Dec 1, 2006; Not a cute boy, just a boring girl.

Dr.Zeppelin posted:

either they will support him outright or they will hold their noses and pull the lever because hillary is worse

#nevertrump bluster from the GOP is complete bullshit until proven otherwise as evidenced by the most recent debate

all this "GOP is dooooooomed" stuff is the same wishful thinking dems had after 2008

Don't underestimate Trump!

# ? Mar 5, 2016 17:37

Schnorkles: Apr 30, 2015; It's a little bit juvenile, but it's simple and it's timeless.

We let it be known that Schnorkles, for a snack, eats tiny pieces of shit.

You're picturing it and you're talking about it. That's a win in my book.

Dr.Zeppelin posted:

either they will support him outright or they will hold their noses and pull the lever because hillary is worse

#nevertrump bluster from the GOP is complete bullshit until proven otherwise as evidenced by the most recent debate

all this "GOP is dooooooomed" stuff is the same wishful thinking dems had after 2008

Maybe. People aren't going to suddenly depart en masse to the democrats or something, but Trump murders a whole bunch of sacred cows in the GOP.

He's a huge sea change to the party, especially as the top of their presidential ticket.

# ? Mar 5, 2016 17:41

Nonsense: Jan 26, 2007

Schnorkles posted:

Maybe. People aren't going to suddenly depart en masse to the democrats or something, but Trump murders a whole bunch of sacred cows in the GOP.

He's a huge sea change to the party, especially as the top of their presidential ticket.

He's fine until he pisses on Reagan.

# ? Mar 5, 2016 17:42

Schnorkles: Apr 30, 2015; It's a little bit juvenile, but it's simple and it's timeless.

We let it be known that Schnorkles, for a snack, eats tiny pieces of shit.

You're picturing it and you're talking about it. That's a win in my book.

Nonsense posted:

He's fine until he pisses on Reagan.

Yeah. I'm of the mind that the party is probably durable enough to survive Trump and simply pick up the pieces post 2016. The problem is if this sort of national populism catches on in the contests in Appalachia and the south in 2018 and 2020. Trump-lite primaries along these lines that are successful start causing problems, especially if a large contingent of the party blames the establishment or whatever for Trump not getting any support for the presidency or something like that.

It's all a bunch of prognostication, but this is a more serious internally than just a hand wave and try again in 2020.

# ? Mar 5, 2016 17:46

Al!: Apr 2, 2010

the gop is still rich and powerful to at least continue to pay to keep candidates in line for now

# ? Mar 5, 2016 17:49

SHY NUDIST GRRL: Feb 15, 2011; Communism will help more white people than anyone else. Any equal measures unfairly provide less to minority populations just because there's less of them. Democracy is truly the tyranny of the mob.

Catfish Noodlin posted:

I don't even know what the benefit for Cruz would be here.

He's down 30 points in a winner-takes-all state. Rubio has very little shot of winning either. Meanwhile, there are contests that Cruz theoretically could actually win between now and Florida.

Right wing warriors don't think about winning, but making other people lose.

# ? Mar 5, 2016 17:49

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

# ? Mar 5, 2016 17:50

frankenfreak: Feb 16, 2007; I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade

EugeneJ posted:

https://web.archive.org/web/20050319093355/http://www.geocities.com/mnussitch/gossip.html

:siren:

quote:

Drudge, Matt. FOD and egg fetishist who's done great damage to his gay brothers and sisters by aiding the cause of fascists, intolerant orthodox Christians, and conservative scum. Ethically challenged hypocritical lackey and moral catamite to right-wingers. We remember you from the old days, Matt-o, and when you fall back to obscurity we'll be waiting with sharpened knives.

# ? Mar 5, 2016 17:51

DaveWoo: Aug 14, 2004; Fun Shoe

Nonsense posted:

He's fine until he pisses on Reagan.

Or says something nice about a minority group.

# ? Mar 5, 2016 17:51

Phlegmish: Jul 2, 2011

frankenfreak posted:

What do they have against the Orthodox Church?

# ? Mar 5, 2016 17:56

Al!: Apr 2, 2010

frankenfreak posted:

this one sounds personal enough that i believe it

# ? Mar 5, 2016 17:57

EugeneJ: Feb 5, 2012; by FactsAreUseless

https://web.archive.org/web/20050319093355/http://www.geocities.com/mnussitch/gossip.html

quote:

Maher, Bill. Incredible horndog; would diddle the alligators if they drained the pond. Masturbates before every taping of his tv show; has it written into his contract that the producers must give him 15 minutes to do so. Rumored not to be a very nice person.

# ? Mar 5, 2016 18:06

Xenophon: Jun 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless; Grimey Drawer

I also like how specific things like "his contract includes masturbation time" are presented as facts but "he is not a very nice person" is specifically just rumored.

# ? Mar 5, 2016 18:12

Powered Descent: Jul 13, 2008; We haven't had that spirit here since 1969.

frankenfreak posted:

Drudge, Matt. FOD and egg fetishist

That one's easy enough to excuse. I mean, who DOESN'T like some foreign object debris and eggs to spice up their sex life now and then? :heysexy:

:heysexy:

# ? Mar 5, 2016 18:13

William Bear: Oct 26, 2012; "That's what they all say!"

More articles about division between the GOP elite and the base. :circlefap:

:circlefap:

New York Times, "Rank and File Republicans Tell Party Elites: We�re Sticking With Donald Trump"

quote:

From Michigan to Louisiana to California on Friday, rank-and-file Republicans expressed mystification, dismissal and contempt for the instructions that their party�s most high-profile leaders are urgently handing down to them: reject and defeat Donald J. Trump.

Their angry reactions, in the 24 hours since Mitt Romney and John McCain urged millions of voters to cooperate in a grand strategy to undermine Mr. Trump�s candidacy, has captured the seemingly inexorable force of a movement that still puzzles the Republican elite and now threatens to unravel the party they hold dear.

In interviews, even lifelong Republicans who cast a ballot for Mr. Romney four years ago rebelled against his message and plan. �I personally am disgusted by it � I think it�s disgraceful,� said Lola Butler, 71, a retiree from Mandeville, La., who cast a ballot for Mr. Romney in 2012. �You�re telling me who to vote for and who not to vote for? Please.�

�There�s nothing short of Trump shooting my daughter in the street and my grandchildren � there is nothing and nobody that�s going to dissuade me from voting for Trump,� Ms. Butler said.

A fellow Louisiana Republican, Mindy Nettles, 33, accused the party of �using Romney as a puppet� to protect themselves from Mr. Trump because its leaders cannot control him. �He has a mind of his own,� she said. �He can think.�

The furious campaign now underway to stop Mr. Trump and the equally forceful rebellion against it captured the essence of the party�s breakdown over the past several weeks: Its most prominent guardians, misunderstanding their own voters, antagonize them as they attempt to reason with them, driving them even more energetically to Mr. Trump�s side.

As Mr. Romney amplified his pleas on Friday, Mr. Trump snubbed a major meeting of Republican activists and leaders after rumblings that protesters were prepared to demonstrate against him there, in the latest sign of Mr. Trump�s breakaway from the apparatus of the party whose nomination he is marching toward.

As polls showed Mr. Trump likely to capture the Louisiana primary on Saturday, the biggest prize among states holding contests this weekend, the party establishment in Washington seemed seized by anxiety and despair. At the Conservative Political Action Conference, a long-running gathering of traditional conservatives, attendees feared that they were witnessing an event that has not occurred in more than a century: the breaking apart of a major American political party.

They spoke ruefully of �fidelity� lost and �values� forgone. They conceded a strange new feeling of powerlessness in the face of Mr. Trump�s ascendance. And they mourned for a 162-year-old party that is starting to seem unrecognizable to them.

Robert Walker, a former Pennsylvania congressman, lamented that the nomination of Mr. Trump, with his profane style and ideological flexibility, �would rebrand the party in ways that would take us a long time to recover from.�

Rick Santorum, a former Republican presidential candidate, warned of the �Republican Party potentially being torn up,� and Senator Ben Sasse of Nebraska groused about what would �actually make American great again.� (It was not Mr. Trump.)

Steve Forbes, the publisher and two-time Republican presidential candidate, summed up the mood at the event. �Parties,� he said, �don�t usually commit suicide,� suggesting the party was well on its way with Mr. Trump.

The problem, for figures like Mr. Forbes and Mr. Romney, is that Mr. Trump�s supporters seem profoundly uninterested at the moment with the image, expectations or traditions of the Republican Party, according to interviews with more than three dozen voters, elected officials and operatives. They are, in many cases, hostile to it.

�I want to see Trump go up there and do damage to the Republican Party,� said Jeff Walls, 53, of Flowood, Miss.

From the moment Mr. Romney delivered it in a speech on Thursday from Salt Lake City, his entreaty to voters struck many in the party as high-minded and impractical: He all but begged them to vote for Mr. Trump�s rivals, thereby denying Mr. Trump enough delegates to clinch the nomination and force a contested convention this summer. Voters have not taken kindly to the recommendation, describing the request as a patronizing directive from an elite figure that thoroughly misunderstands their feelings of alienation from the political system. (Soon after, Mr. McCain endorsed his remarks.)

Conservative talk radio shows lit up Friday with incensed callers who said they were �livid,� �mad� and �on the verge of tears� as they listened to Mr. Romney scoldingly describe what he called Mr. Trump�s misogyny, vulgarity and dishonesty, and urged them to abandon him.

�The Trumpists out there,� predicted Rush Limbaugh, �are going to feel like the establishment is trying to manipulate them, sucker them, and they�re just going to dig in deeper.�

They did.

Kathy, from Sun City, Ariz., told Mr. Limbaugh she was �absolutely livid by the Romney speech. He�s condescending,� she said, adding that he sounded like a �Democrat the whole time.� Steve from Temecula, Calif., said he had a message for Mr. Romney: �The Republican electorate is not a bunch of completely ignorant fools.�

�We know who Donald Trump is,� he added, �and we�re going to use Donald Trump to either take over the G.O.P. or blow it up.�

As Mr. Romney hopped between television stations on Friday, proclaiming his dismay over Mr. Trump�s crudeness, challenging his decency and questioning his integrity, he declared that his overtures were breaking through � though not necessarily to the audience he intended. In an interview conducted inside the headquarters of Bloomberg News in Manhattan, far from the crucial primary voting states that could decide Mr. Trump�s fate, he observed that Midtown office workers had offered their gratitude as he rode up to the studio.

�Just coming up the escalator, Mr. Romney said, people said, � �Thanks for what you did yesterday.� �

But outside of that orbit, the response was less welcoming.

Mr. Trump�s supporters and those backing his rivals, in interviews across the country, suggested that Mr. Romney�s move was presumptuous and described him as out of touch and ineffectual. �They want to control the election because they don�t like Trump,� said Joann Hirschmann of Shelby Township, Michigan, a supporter of Gov. John Kasich of Ohio. �And I can understand that. But you have to let the people speak.�

Frustrated Republicans seized on Mr. Romney�s status as a party insider who was insulated from the realities, indignities and rage of average Americans headed to the polls this year. �He�s an establishment figure,� said Faith Sheptoski-Forbush of Romulus, Mich. �So that�s what you get.�

She called Mr. Romney�s diatribe against Mr. Trump �a desperate attempt� that left her deeply disappointed in him.

�What we need is the voice of the people,� said Ms. Sheptoski-Forbush. �The voice of the people want Trump.�

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/03/05/us/politics/donald-trump-republican-party.html

Vox populi, vox Trump!

William Bear fucked around with this message at 18:20 on Mar 5, 2016

# ? Mar 5, 2016 18:14

SixPabst: Oct 24, 2006

I'm watching a Rubio rally for some reason and boy does this guy like to describe being a conservative as the exact opposite of they've demonstrated since forever.

# ? Mar 5, 2016 18:19

Al!: Apr 2, 2010

mintskoal posted:

I'm watching a Rubio rally for some reason and boy does this guy like to describe being a conservative as the exact opposite of they've demonstrated since forever.

http://www.stream2watch.co/live-tv/us/c-span-live-stream

really doubling down on AMERICA IS A CHRISTIAN NATION thing

# ? Mar 5, 2016 18:20

SixPabst: Oct 24, 2006

Al! posted:

http://www.stream2watch.co/live-tv/us/c-span-live-stream

really doubling down on AMERICA IS A CHRISTIAN NATION thing

Yeah for sure. And "Americans have never had it easy."

Yes Marco tell us how white Americans have never had it easy compared to the rest of the world.

# ? Mar 5, 2016 18:22

Al!: Apr 2, 2010

rubio got his biggest applause when he attacked trump

from the right

# ? Mar 5, 2016 18:24

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

Dr.Zeppelin posted:

either they will support him outright or they will hold their noses and pull the lever because hillary is worse

#nevertrump bluster from the GOP is complete bullshit until proven otherwise as evidenced by the most recent debate

all this "GOP is dooooooomed" stuff is the same wishful thinking dems had after 2008

I don't think this is The End of the GOP, or we're headed for a thousand years of glorious Democratic reign, but this is not a situation where they're all going to meekly fall in line behind him. This level of party division is unprecedented. Remember four years ago: the base hated Romney, and tried not-Romney after not-Romney, but none of them could hold it together. Eventually the base coalesced around Romney, but in a begrudging way. You didn't have major conservative figures publicly declaring they would never vote for Romney and would rather go third party.

The thing that makes this different from previous divisions is that this time, the people who aren't getting what they want are the donor class and the Establishment. When the base gets steamrolled, they fall in line, because they're used to it; the party has been throwing them a bone now and then and having them acquiesce for decades. This is the first time the Establishment is really not getting their way in a while, and they're not used to it and not likely to take it well. For those who make their livelihood as thought leaders and opinion makers of the Republican party the idea of four more years in the wilderness may be preferable to completely losing their positions.

Again, I don't think they'll vote for Hillary. They won't be behind Trump, though, because if he wins they lose control of their party-- whereas if he loses they can point this out to the base and say "we tried it your way, and it didn't work. Now do what we tell you next time." I don't think the base actually will-- they're too fed up, and they're going to blame the elites for sabotaging Trump, true or not-- but I do think the establishment considers this their best bet.

As far as 2008 goes, this is the logical endgame of 8 years of the rhetoric and policies the GOP adopted in 2008. In order for their party to win this election they'll have to jettison some extremely central planks to the conservative platform, planks that have been in place since before Reagan. It's not doom, but 2008 certainly set in motion a fundamental transformation of the GOP.

# ? Mar 5, 2016 18:26

PT6A: Jan 5, 2006; Public school teachers are callous dictators who won't lift a finger to stop children from peeing in my plane

Rubio is drinking water again. Have you ever seen a guy sweat this much?

# ? Mar 5, 2016 18:26

Golden Bee: Dec 24, 2009; I came here to chew bubblegum and quote 'They Live', and I'm... at an impasse.

Even if Trump wins, he won by shattering his party (which is beltway oligarchs using tv and radio to push social wedge issues).

Not that this is bad; Reagan's been dead for twelve years. He's been out of politics for nearly 25. It would amaze me if in 2020 people are pushing to emulate conservative leaders like Trump.

# ? Mar 5, 2016 18:29

Nameless_Steve: Oct 18, 2010; "There are fair questions about shooting non-lethally at retreating civilian combatants."

You know how the Chewbacca costume has that elaborate water cooling system? They should do the same thing and run a bunch of tubes pumping cold water under Rubio's shirt.
Or maybe they could fit some ice in his high heels.

# ? Mar 5, 2016 18:33

Despera: Jun 6, 2011; Can't post for 5 hours!

PT6A posted:

Rubio is drinking water again. Have you ever seen a guy sweat this much?

Robot needs coolant

# ? Mar 5, 2016 18:38

Totalizator: Nov 9, 2006; Can't post for 3 years!

Nameless_Steve posted:

You know how the Chewbacca costume has that elaborate water cooling system? They should do the same thing and run a bunch of tubes pumping cold water under Rubio's shirt.
Or maybe they could fit some ice in his high heels.

Republicans installing an elaborate cooling system on Rubio that would break during a live debate would be the pinnacle of comedy.

# ? Mar 5, 2016 18:39

Baloogan: Dec 5, 2004; Fun Shoe

what a loser

drinks *water*

who drinks *water* in this day and age

what are we, cavemen?

# ? Mar 5, 2016 18:41

fishmech: Jul 16, 2006; by VideoGames; Salad Prong

Nameless_Steve posted:

You know how the Chewbacca costume has that elaborate water cooling system? They should do the same thing and run a bunch of tubes pumping cold water under Rubio's shirt.
Or maybe they could fit some ice in his high heels.

Just give him a camelbak

# ? Mar 5, 2016 18:43

Totalizator: Nov 9, 2006; Can't post for 3 years!

Give him Dune Fremen gear to save body water

# ? Mar 5, 2016 18:52

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# ? May 13, 2024 19:47

Al!: Apr 2, 2010

walk without rhythm and you won't attract the nom.

# ? Mar 5, 2016 18:57

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