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*Withholds children from poor ex* "Your dad is such a dead beat."
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Mar 30, 2016 05:36
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*shops at Homesense *grimaces at price of 600 thread count sheets *buys stale biscotti from lineup shelf
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Mar 30, 2016 05:44
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*merges at half the speed of traffic *matches speed of anyone trying to pass her
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Mar 30, 2016 05:49
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*goes to Home Depot *spends 20 minutes looking for non-minority staffer to help find LED lightbulbs
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Mar 30, 2016 05:52
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*replaces all towels with matching set
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Mar 30, 2016 05:58
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*slips some everclear into morning coffee* *tells herself that she didn't do anything and that the coffee just tastes sorta funny for some reason* *5 minutes later is convinced that that's the truth*
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Mar 30, 2016 06:06
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*gets fuzzy seat cover for toilet* *Has four teenage sons* *something something jizz*
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Mar 30, 2016 06:14
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*jerks off husband while reading something on a kindle* *buys a new pair of Nikes even though she doesn't go to the gym* *has a Fitbit but never makes it past 1k steps*
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Mar 30, 2016 06:30
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I saw the thread title and was going to come in here with some scathing poo poo, but just looking at the last dozen posts drat you guys not only know suburban moms better than me you hate them more than I ever could
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Mar 30, 2016 06:33
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yeah honey that dent is from weeks ago i think when i was at the post office and bumped into a streetlight no in fact i don't know what that little light means on the dashboard it's been on for awhile i guess WELL IF IT WAS THAT IMPORTANT THEN MAYBE THE CAR SHOULD'VE TOLD ME
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Mar 30, 2016 07:04
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*Buys AMAZING new thing she saw on TV, don't worry honey, ill use it everyday, its going to be so handy" Returns it two weeks later when she finds the identical one she brought and never used five years ago*
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Mar 30, 2016 07:29
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*marries Lowtax*
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Mar 30, 2016 08:05
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I cna't believe that goons hate moms.
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Mar 30, 2016 08:36
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i love all moms except my own b/c that would be gross
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Mar 30, 2016 08:38
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dad gay. so what posted:sorry i thought the thread title was "ITT we are subHUMAN moms" my bad lates yall dad gay. so what posted:i keep reading this thread title as subhuman moms which is triggering to me dad gay. so what posted:i thought you said subhuman moms lol, brb dad gay. so what posted:lol i thought you said "subhuman moms" sorry will update my blog dad gay. so what posted:sorry i thought you said subhuman wifves. apologies.
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Mar 30, 2016 08:58
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504 posted:*Buys AMAZING new thing she saw on TV, don't worry honey, ill use it everyday, its going to be so handy" gently caress you, the snuggie is amazing and I have 2. The free booklight is poo poo, tho.
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Mar 30, 2016 09:00
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Millstone posted:Hello these are my kids, braeden, aieden, maeyden, kayeden, Hayden, Laeyden, fayden, rayden This thread is racist.
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Mar 30, 2016 09:06
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*gets pubes lasered off of discolored snatch* *is 5th patient to flirt w/ the doctor today*
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Mar 30, 2016 09:07
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*Finds minor ways of exerting control over life through lovely passive-aggressive actions to distract self from the howling terror of age and death*
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Mar 30, 2016 09:13
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*is nice to me *
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Mar 30, 2016 09:20
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peyton, put that down PUT IT DOWN PEYTON [repeat 50x]
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Mar 30, 2016 09:24
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 LOVE IT!! So true!
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Mar 30, 2016 09:56
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*gets pozzed by the UPS man* *won't take anti retrovirals because she "doesn't believe in putting chemicals in her body"* *dies of terrifying 1980s/African style AIDS rather than living with vaguely annoying magic johnson style HIV*
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Mar 30, 2016 10:58
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"I make jewelry" -Actually just glues pre cut stones into pre stamped jewelry blanks, or if feeling really energetic, connects various pre made components- -if it's the latter, has Etsy store with octupus, infinity sign, anchor, mermaid, wishbone, faux cameos, etc charms on basic necklaces and gets mad that other moms and also teens and half of China are selling similar "hand made" poo poo- - has wine-themed bathroom (paintings of grapes with italian words randomly grouped around, grape bunch border, little wine charms hung around)(I actually see one of these on a regular basis- -does kitchen in vague "country threme" with apples and painted-on sawblades and poo poo, is surprised and offended when people who are from places where that's just how grandmas decorate their kitchens don't love it- -grosses out children by talking about how small a donger her ex husband, their father has- -blocks mailbox bank, causing disabled mail delivery guy to skip the mailboxes of two elderly women, a young family, and her own mailbox. when neighbors politely ask her to park elsewhere, goes apeshit about how the mailman is obligated to deliver rain or shine blah blah blah- -thinks people don't know she has wine in that coffee cup- -refuses to call the police when any family member gives legitimate cause that isn't life threatening, because what will the neighbors think- -gets real mad at another mom because that mom uses medical terminology for genitalia and that mom's toddler said "penis" or "vagina" -spends a grand on dumb freemium games, calls CC company and claims toddler did it- -nearly merges into me on the interstate about twice a month- -talks about how corsets are "super dangerous" while sweating to death in one of those waist cincher things Kim K. popularized and Spanx-
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Mar 30, 2016 11:14
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This is so much funnier when you see the other names that were on her list: http://mommyslittlesunshine.blogspot.com/2012/01/29-weeks.html (scroll down to right before the comments)
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Mar 30, 2016 11:31
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Uncle at Nintendo posted:This is so much funnier when you see the other names that were on her list: http://mommyslittlesunshine.blogspot.com/2012/01/29-weeks.html McKinli and Devan and their two children, Titan and Laikynn. She pierced Laikynn's ears at two months of age and they have a third (a boy) on the way. Death to the middle class imho
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Mar 30, 2016 11:39
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jazzyhattrick posted:*gets pozzed by the UPS man* 
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Mar 30, 2016 11:54
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Goes on lemon juice "cleanse" Shocking amount of maggots and liquid mercury pour out of every orifice.
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Mar 30, 2016 11:57
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CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:McKinli and Devan and their two children, Titan and Laikynn. She pierced Laikynn's ears at two months of age and they have a third (a boy) on the way. I wonder how much collective time per week her kids have to spend posing for dumb photos.
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Mar 30, 2016 12:10
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*McKinli's birth certificate says "Michelle"*
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Mar 30, 2016 12:12
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King of Bees posted:Goes on lemon juice "cleanse" We said suburban not flint Michigan
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Mar 30, 2016 12:59
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*Cant stop talking about "toxins", has no idea what the liver does because she hosed her high school life sciences teacher who was also the football coach*
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Mar 30, 2016 13:00
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"I don't SEE race. It's not my problem that you do."
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Mar 30, 2016 13:04
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packsmack posted:No, I get that milf porn is the highest selling porn out there. But, there doesn't seem to be a corresponding amount of amateur stuff. I could be way off bas3 though I guess There is a massive amount of amateur milf porn. It seems to be hidden by other kinds of porn though on the front page of porn sites so I can see how you'd miss it. Interracial teen and father fucks daughter while mom is out are going to come first. She can name our kids shitbird for all I care as long as I get to have them with her. flick my Mr. Bean fucked around with this message at 13:51 on Mar 30, 2016 |
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Mar 30, 2016 13:46
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-Takes kids and some of their friends to play putt putt -gets them ice cream on the way back
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Mar 30, 2016 13:56
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Booblord Zagats posted:-Takes kids and some of their friends to play putt putt that's a good mom 
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Mar 30, 2016 13:57
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Booblord Zagats posted:-Takes kids and some of their friends to play putt putt Ice cream!? ICE CREAM!? God drat you!! How many times do I have to tell you that my Kalib is lactose intolerant? You BITCH!
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Mar 30, 2016 14:02
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*Takes son to Boy Scout Meeting *Shows genuine pride for him getting his first merit badge
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Mar 30, 2016 14:03
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FlimFlam Imam posted:Ice cream!? ICE CREAM!? God drat you!! How many times do I have to tell you that my Kalib is lactose intolerant? You BITCH! [kalib actually isn't lactose intolerant, she just says that to have something to talk about]
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Mar 30, 2016 14:06
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*takes child to emerg after he breaks his collarbone falling off his bunk bed*
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Mar 30, 2016 14:10
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