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it turns out my father has a deep and abiding love for quick groaner joke it makes him laugh a lot and that makes me happy please give me more examples of joke he tells everyone forever why do pessimists hate sausage? because they fear the wurst what do you call a ring/circle of one hundred dollar bills? Aretha Franklins |
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Apr 2, 2016 05:46
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how do you make a tissue dance? put a little boogie in it
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Apr 2, 2016 18:08
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| Someone sits next to me in the seat marked 10. I turn to him and say you're about a 9 | |
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Apr 2, 2016 18:58
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https://twitter.com/treasure_bear/status/377560785196556288
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Apr 2, 2016 19:01
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yes
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Apr 2, 2016 19:01
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The only time incorrectly isn’t spelled incorrectly is when it’s spelled incorrectly What did the lawyer name his daughter? Sue. We have a genetic predisposition for diarrhea. Runs in our jeans. What do you call a woman on the arm of a yobber? A tattoo. |
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Apr 2, 2016 22:26
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ChairmanMeow posted:
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Apr 2, 2016 22:29
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vintage 1980s joke from my childhood: how did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to the back of the chicken
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Apr 2, 2016 22:30
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ChairmanMeow posted:What do you call a woman on the arm of a yobber?
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Apr 3, 2016 03:54
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Twerkteam Pizza posted:I like my women like I like my Messiah |
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Apr 3, 2016 05:06
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Apr 3, 2016 05:44
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Kimmo Kinnunen meni saunaan ja näki siellä isänsä Jorman kullin.
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Apr 3, 2016 05:56
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knife to meet you |
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Apr 3, 2016 16:58
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Where does a General keep his armies? In his sleevies. ---------------- |
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Apr 3, 2016 20:59
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A man stuck 6 plastic horses up his rear end. The doctor described his condition as stable. ---------------- |
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Apr 3, 2016 21:00
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almost none of these are one-liners tho 
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Apr 3, 2016 21:20
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My Asian Grandma posted:almost none of these are one-liners tho gently caress the police 
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Apr 3, 2016 21:24
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Apr 3, 2016 21:27
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ChairmanMeow posted:What do you call a woman on the arm of a yobber? |
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Apr 3, 2016 21:29
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"i met a yobber strolling about with a beautiful woman on his arm; i complemented him on his fine tattoo" thats a one liner fam
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Apr 3, 2016 21:30
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I tried to come up with a joke that sounded worthy of this thread. No pun in ten did.
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Apr 4, 2016 03:30
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“You are old, Father William,” the young man said, “And your hair has become very white; And yet you incessantly stand on your head – Do you think, at your age, it is right?” “In my youth,” Father William replied to his son, “I feared it might injure the brain; But, now that I’m perfectly sure I have none, Why, I do it again and again.” “You are old,” said the youth, “as I mentioned before, And have grown most uncommonly fat; Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door – Pray, what is the reason of that?” “In my youth,” said the sage, as he shook his grey locks, “I kept all my limbs very supple By the use of this ointment – one shilling the box – Allow me to sell you a couple?” “You are old,” said the youth, “and your jaws are too weak For anything tougher than suet; Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak – Pray, how did you manage to do it?” “In my youth,” said his father, “I took to the law, And argued each case with my wife; And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw, Has lasted the rest of my life.” “You are old,” said the youth, “one would hardly suppose That your eye was as steady as ever; Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose – What made you so awfully clever?” “I have answered three questions, and that is enough,” Said his father; “don’t give yourself airs! Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff? Be off, or I’ll kick you downstairs!” ---------------- |
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Apr 4, 2016 06:15
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Doctor Dogballs posted:“You are old, Father William,” the young man said, Isn't the same without the illustrations, really.
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Apr 4, 2016 06:37
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I once participated in a pun contest where I could submit up to ten puns for a chance at the prize, and really hoped at least one would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did. |
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Apr 4, 2016 07:52
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Yesterday I tried baking to see if any of my pastries would turn out right. Cinnamon bun in ten did. |
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Apr 4, 2016 11:42
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"Call me a taxi!" "OK: you're a taxi."
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Apr 4, 2016 12:15
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I wanted to find out who hires new police officers; apparently chief super in ten don't |
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Apr 4, 2016 12:54
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PUN INTENDED |
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Apr 4, 2016 13:52
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whatafakka booooom yea im the king of the belgian congo
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Apr 4, 2016 14:20
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whats grey and comes in quarts? an elephant |
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Apr 4, 2016 16:51
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Planet Idiot posted:whats grey and comes in quarts? an elephant lol ---------------- |
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Apr 4, 2016 17:07
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"hilarious" one liner jokes
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Apr 4, 2016 17:08
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my father loved the genetic predisposition to diarrhea and the 6 horses up a man's rear end jokes good job everyone |
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Apr 4, 2016 18:20
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saucy wordplay is what he loves |
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Apr 4, 2016 18:21
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mission accomplished
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Apr 4, 2016 18:21
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Bo-Pepper posted:my father loved the genetic predisposition to diarrhea and the 6 horses up a man's rear end jokes good job everyone your welcome 
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Apr 4, 2016 18:25
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when asked how much he weighs, wil simply replies a few wheatons
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Apr 5, 2016 05:27
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women's rights
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Apr 5, 2016 06:52
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the aristocrats
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Apr 5, 2016 07:35
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| # ? May 1, 2024 10:05 |
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the most difficult part about one liners is making sure your handwriting is small enough. |
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Apr 7, 2016 18:56
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