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Karl Sharks
Feb 20, 2008

The Immortal Science of Sharksism-Fininism

Loving Africa Chaps posted:

Good job fifa you made it a whole month before the next president gets drawn into a corruption scandal

Can he be grandfathered in or something? I mean that was in the past, FIFA has changed now. Totally different.

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peanut-
Feb 17, 2004
Fun Shoe
https://twitter.com/richard_conway/status/717718316215832576

blue footed boobie
Sep 14, 2012


UEFA SUPREMACY
So is the new president going to get arrested already? I haven't been following this too closely.

ukle
Nov 28, 2005

Can the US please just declare them a corrupt organisation and be done with it, assuming they find some evidence to backup the leak then surely there will be enough evidence now that the corruption is a core part of FIFA's ethos given everything else. Its just becoming farcical.

Andre Le Fuckface
Oct 4, 2008

:pwm:
someone get the ladder
\

Literally Lewis Hamilton
Feb 22, 2005



Who could have possibly foreseen this

Toplowtech
Aug 31, 2004

Bovril Delight posted:

Who could have possibly foreseen this
if someone had , it's not like we would have believed it.

B.B. Rodriguez
Aug 8, 2005

Bender: "I was God once." God: "Yes, I saw. You were doing well until everyone died."

This all started because a man who looked like Santa Claus bought a Manhattan apartment for his cats.

Xenomrph
Dec 9, 2005

AvP Nerd/Fanboy/Shill



B.B. Rodriguez posted:

This all started because a man who looked like Santa Claus bought a Manhattan apartment for his cats.
I hope the inevitable movie about all this insanity uses the exact same actors as United Passions.

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011
It's time for Papa Sepp to make a heroic comeback and clean up FIFA, he'll be good at switching from heel to face imo

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

B.B. Rodriguez posted:

This all started because a man who looked like Santa Claus bought a Manhattan apartment for his cats.
This all started because a man who looked like Santa Claus and drives around on a Rascal scooter and dresses up like pirates and Star Wars characters just for fun bought a Manhattan apartment for his cats.

El Hefe
Oct 31, 2006

You coulda had a V8/
Instead of a tre-eight slug to yo' cranium/
I got six and I'm aimin' 'em/
Will I bust or keep you guessin'
Football owns.

TheBigAristotle
Feb 8, 2007

I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money.
I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.

Grimey Drawer
It does.

Nucken Futz
Oct 30, 2010

by Reene

Bovril Delight posted:

Who could have possibly foreseen this

I did, a long time ago.

Flush them all, lemme run the show.

Kurtofan
Feb 16, 2011

hon hon hon

Putin is trying really hard not to look at the tie

Tayter Swift
Nov 18, 2002

Pillbug

"I'm still sick of the Chariots of Fire theme but the Blade Runner soundtrack is timeless"

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

Kurtofan posted:

Putin is trying really hard not to look at the tie
His eyes have become lost in the dreamy soul of Chuck Blazer.

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

Here is how much information could be involved if the FIFA cases go to trial in the United States: link

quote:

The legal team of Costa Rica's Eduardo Li proposed at least a one-month delay, estimating that the amount of data in the case ranged from 700 million to 900 million pages.

I don't even know how you could possibly go through that much poo poo in any amount of time.

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011

Crazy Ted posted:

Here is how much information could be involved if the FIFA cases go to trial in the United States: link


I don't even know how you could possibly go through that much poo poo in any amount of time.

A lot of legal analysis at big law firms is done by computers these days.

TheBigAristotle
Feb 8, 2007

I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money.
I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.

Grimey Drawer
It's mostly advanced stats, I'm guessing

blue footed boobie
Sep 14, 2012


UEFA SUPREMACY

Crazy Ted posted:

Here is how much information could be involved if the FIFA cases go to trial in the United States: link


I don't even know how you could possibly go through that much poo poo in any amount of time.

They hire vendors that pay lawyers who can't get other jobs $20 an hour to look at documents all day one page at a time and click a button if they're relevant

Waroduce
Aug 5, 2008
You can get big industrial scanners with built in ocr (character recognition) and set it to route keywords to certain people/folders and discard the rest.

Like =if entity contains "Sept Blatter" send to Analyst 1, Analyst 2 and Dept Head.




Or temps.....all the temps

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

Waroduce posted:

You can get big industrial scanners with built in ocr (character recognition) and set it to route keywords to certain people/folders and discard the rest.

Like =if entity contains "Sept Blatter" send to Analyst 1, Analyst 2 and Dept Head.




Or temps.....all the temps
Interesting. I honestly had no clue how an entity can slog through a document cache that big.

Byolante
Mar 23, 2008

by Cyrano4747

Crazy Ted posted:

Interesting. I honestly had no clue how an entity can slog through a document cache that big.

There are far more kids getting law degrees than actual lawyer jobs so most of them just read documents all day for a pittance.

Waroduce
Aug 5, 2008

Byolante posted:

There are far more kids getting law degrees than actual lawyer jobs so most of them just read documents all day for a pittance.

Let me sell you a software solution that will put more kids with law degrees out of work cause you don't need to pay my software insurance, 401k, pto or a salary

Tayter Swift
Nov 18, 2002

Pillbug
*Prints entire Football Manager 16 database* Look at all this paperwork!

Bobby Digital
Sep 4, 2009

TheBigAristotle posted:

It's mostly advanced stats, I'm guessing

xFP, or expected felonies per page

Dirk Pitt
Sep 14, 2007

haha yes, this feels good

Toilet Rascal

TheBigAristotle posted:

It's mostly advanced stats, I'm guessing

I get this joke.

Shinjobi
Jul 10, 2008


Gravy Boat 2k
I want blood running through the streets already.:sigh:

Hoops
Aug 19, 2005


A Black Mark For Retarded Posting
eDiscovery is really quite advanced these days, software will cut that down by 99% pretty quickly. Some fucker will have to scan all the hard copies in though.

Hoops
Aug 19, 2005


A Black Mark For Retarded Posting

Waroduce posted:

You can get big industrial scanners with built in ocr (character recognition) and set it to route keywords to certain people/folders and discard the rest.

Like =if entity contains "Sept Blatter" send to Analyst 1, Analyst 2 and Dept Head.
Without giving away too much personal info, this is exactly what I've been doing for the last week and it is loving boring (not a lawyer).

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe

Hoops posted:

Without giving away too much personal info, this is exactly what I've been doing for the last week and it is loving boring (not a lawyer).

Any juicy Blatter gossip you've seen?

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

Hoops posted:

eDiscovery is really quite advanced these days, software will cut that down by 99% pretty quickly. Some fucker will have to scan all the hard copies in though.
I know a guy who took a job at the Mayo Clinic scanning documents for their conversion to an all-electronic record keeping format. His job: to scan documents, eight hours a day, five days a week, for $14/hour. For the life of me I could not imagine a more boring job.

African AIDS cum
Feb 29, 2012


Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack

blue footed boobie posted:

They hire vendors that pay lawyers who can't get other jobs $20 an hour to look at documents all day one page at a time and click a button if they're relevant

Responsive

Hoops
Aug 19, 2005


A Black Mark For Retarded Posting

trem_two posted:

Any juicy Blatter gossip you've seen?

He did it

Strawman
Feb 9, 2008

Tortuga means turtle, and that's me. I take my time but I always win.


Hoops posted:

He did it

What did he do?

MoPZiG
Jun 6, 2006

So is Qatar keeping the World Cup or what?

porkface
Dec 29, 2000

MoPZiG posted:

So is Qatar keeping the World Cup or what?

Of course, they paid good money.

Its Rinaldo
Aug 13, 2010

CODS BINCH

Crazy Ted posted:

I know a guy who took a job at the Mayo Clinic scanning documents for their conversion to an all-electronic record keeping format. His job: to scan documents, eight hours a day, five days a week, for $14/hour. For the life of me I could not imagine a more boring job.

Get caught up on your podcast backlog while getting paid

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Troy Queef
Jan 12, 2013




Jeffrey Webb, the former CONCACAF president who was one of the people arrested in Zurich, just had the transcript of his guilty plea released:

http://www.theguardian.com/football/2016/apr/18/fifa-corruption-scandal-us-releases-three-guilty-plea-transcripts posted:

“I abused my position to obtain bribes and kickbacks for my personal benefit,” Webb, who suffers from a heart condition, told the judge in pleading guilty to seven counts and confessing to enriching himself from 2012-2014.

He said he was told in 2012 that sports marketing companies would offer “side payments” or bribes in exchange for commercial rights to soccer matches.

“I believed that such offers were common in this business,” he told the judge.

He confessed to receiving bribes for the sale of commercial rights for 2018 and 2022 World Cup qualifying matches, and in 2012, 2013 and 2014, including for the Copa America Centenario tournament, which will be held in June.

“I deeply regret my participation in this illegal conduct,” said the dual Cayman Islands-British citizen, who was educated in the United States.

He confessed to conspiring to defraud his employers and conspiracy to commit money laundering offenses by transmitting money from the United States to front accounts in Panama, the Cayman Islands and elsewhere.
[...]
Court papers complained last month that Webb kept up a millionaire’s lifestyle quaffing champagne, gambling and partying while under arrest at the US home he may have purchased “with bribes and kickbacks”.

In a letter to the US attorney’s office, Fifa’s lawyers requested an “immediate” audit of Webb’s funds and assets, expressing concern that he may not have fully disclosed them to the court.

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