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Xerxes17
Feb 17, 2011

So, can anyone tell me about the kinds of Sausages that you can find in Eastern Europe / Russia? I've seen so many kinds at the stores and I have no idea which ones to try first.

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3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

Fun fact: the Russian word for sausage translates to meat potato.

Mekchu
Apr 10, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Russia answered the question of "what do you get when you combine MMA & Nickelodeon obstacle courses?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSBWNknR8wY

ass struggle
Dec 25, 2012

by Athanatos

Jerry Cotton posted:

Fun fact: the Russian word for sausage translates to meat potato.

колбаса???

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

sparatuvs posted:

колбаса???

Gesundheit.

SnowblindFatal
Jan 7, 2011

Unfunny Poster posted:

Russia answered the question of "what do you get when you combine MMA & Nickelodeon obstacle courses?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSBWNknR8wY

lmao at 42:00 with the one dude getting ganged by two and just refusing to give up.

Mekchu
Apr 10, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Yeah I genuinely don't understand what is going on or what the rules are.

sauer kraut
Oct 2, 2004

Xerxes17 posted:

So, can anyone tell me about the kinds of Sausages that you can find in Eastern Europe / Russia? I've seen so many kinds at the stores and I have no idea which ones to try first.

Way too many to count. Are you looking for street fast food or home cooking?
For the latter you might wanna start with a smoked Polish kielbasa (wedzona, dark and shriveled) and make a hearty potato veggie soup.

Xerxes17
Feb 17, 2011

sauer kraut posted:

Way too many to count. Are you looking for street fast food or home cooking?
For the latter you might wanna start with a smoked Polish kielbasa (wedzona, dark and shriveled) and make a hearty potato veggie soup.

Not yet ready to trust street vendors so that's out.

I'm also living in Putinland so I think Polish food is embargo'd here?

cinci zoo sniper
Mar 15, 2013




Xerxes17 posted:

Not yet ready to trust street vendors so that's out.

I'm also living in Putinland so I think Polish food is embargo'd here?
most of sausages, except for very local, often the spicier, varieties like kabanos or some hungarian thing i burned my mouth on two evenings ago, will be accessible everywhere since neither of states involved has enough shame or had necessary degree of historical self-awareness to not have reappropriated one or another recipe at some point in time. regional flavours, like polish folk writing "173 grams of pork went into making this 103 gram pork sauasge", stay in the regions, but common themes should be more or less equally accessible throughout the eastern bloc

and yea i thought about writing some :words; about local sausagery but then i postponed it because there's so many stuff, and much of it is very similar and/or just nothing special to my eye, that i ended up just forgetting about it :rip:

sauer kraut
Oct 2, 2004
According to a quick search, the ideal point of entry into the world of Russian delights would be a 'Moskovskaya'
Check around for a sausage that's really firm, dark and shriveled.

Power Khan
Aug 20, 2011

by Fritz the Horse

Xerxes17 posted:

Not yet ready to trust street vendors so that's out.

I'm also living in Putinland so I think Polish food is embargo'd here?

Apparently they dumped lots of that stuff into neighbouring countries. None of my in-laws in Slovakia had anything good to say about the quality of polish products. They're sort of a running joke here.

cinci zoo sniper
Mar 15, 2013




eh i cant mwrite this important email while im having coffee so may as well help my coffee get colder

in broader categories, common things will be:
  • fat, medium length sausages, pink "meat" inside and often beige, thicker "skin" on outside - boil them
  • thin pink sausages (short/long) - pan fry preferably, but can do whatever. often will have transparent plastic skin so they can be preserved longer, make sure you don't fry that though :v:
  • thin (short/long) dark brown sausages with "meat" texture inside loosely resembling that of salami - preferably grill or cook on open fire, can pan fry, but not boil
this kind-of covers most sausage varieties you will find in regular grocery store, exception being rare occurrence of 'pale' (youll get what i mean when you see them and compare to anything else on shelves around) sausages of various forms and shapes - cook them the same way as dark browns from above.

but that's all stuff we call sausages, i.e. сосики/колбаски. there also are "big sausages" i.e. колбаса that you use to make sandwiches. most of it is more or less the same, general split being into salami/boiled. boiled will have a couple generic brand varieties with no meaningful difference between them, i.e. boiled (варёная), doctors' (докторская), and milk's (молочная). just throw a slice on sandwich and call it a day. you can fry them if you want student style %something% as per kilogram they are usually cheaper than "small sausages". salami is salami, that should be common wherever you came from too. boiled varieties generally will be either garlic inside, or cheese, or fat (yea, literal specks of lard), or a combination of any of thereof. of course, minimal spicing variations etc, but that won't be noticeable unless something is outright labelled "spicy" (in general or, say, peppery), or unless youve had similar bland food for most of your life.

smoked sausages, which is what we here call salami (and what i referred to above) and what actually is edible compared to gross actually italian shite ive unfortunately have had a couple of times, these will generally fall into a couple broad categories - cold smoked, hot smoked, and dry smoked. each of the three will have bunch of varities in themselves. cold smoked can sometimes can gross rough texture. hot smoked is what the brown sausages from above are, as well as various krakow style sausages, normal "salami", and gross boiled salami poo poo with specks of cheese inside and whatnot. dry smoked is p rare, big forest game like elk or deer are sometimes prepared this way - never bad, but sometimes it can incorporate worst of the two methods before, being both 'boily' and showing lack of fine texture.

cinci zoo sniper
Mar 15, 2013




sauer kraut posted:

According to a quick search, the ideal point of entry into the world of Russian delights would be a 'Moskovskaya'
Check around for a sausage that's really firm, dark and shriveled.
moskovskya, unfortunately, is the most generic sausage you can imagine

fuck off Batman
Oct 14, 2013

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah!


I respect your love for sausages.

sauer kraut
Oct 2, 2004

kalstrams posted:

moskovskya, unfortunately, is the most generic sausage you can imagine


Ow that is not what I had in mind, it should look more like a coarse Salami.

cinci zoo sniper
Mar 15, 2013




sauer kraut posted:

Ow that is not what I had in mind, it should look more like a coarse Salami.
oh, the gross boiled salami thing. it's the "big" one so i dont associate it with word "sausage"

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

kalstrams posted:

oh, the gross boiled salami thing. it's the "big" one so i dont associate it with word "sausage"


"This sausage isn't a sausage" - Forums poster kalstrams

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

Give me kiekyrälenkki or give me death!

cinci zoo sniper
Mar 15, 2013




Jerry Cotton posted:

"This sausage isn't a sausage" - Forums poster kalstrams
that sausage is barely thinner than my wrist

Jusupov
May 24, 2007
only text

Jerry Cotton posted:

Give me kiekyrälenkki or give me death!



half bread half "meat"

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

kalstrams posted:

that sausage is barely thinner than my wrist

:gay:

cinci zoo sniper
Mar 15, 2013




can you put your wrist in your mouth???

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

kalstrams posted:

can you put your wrist in your mouth???

My hand is in the way.

BlankIsBeautiful
Apr 4, 2008

Feeling a little inadequate?
Stolen from the yospos picture thread:



epipen posted:

'This is “turnip strength,” a Soviet era arcade game where the objective is to help your grandmother pull a turnip out of the ground.'

I wonder if there's a "potato strength".

cinci zoo sniper
Mar 15, 2013




BlankIsBeautiful posted:

Stolen from the yospos picture thread:




I wonder if there's a "potato strength".
no since you use pitchfork to unearth potatoes, not your hands or some other tools unless you feel like it's pyf lifehack thread time, then you use sand showel

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

kalstrams posted:

no since you use pitchfork to unearth potatoes, not your hands or some other tools unless you feel like it's pyf lifehack thread time, then you use sand showel

:lol: if you don't use potato hoes instead of pitchforks just :laffo:

cinci zoo sniper
Mar 15, 2013




Jerry Cotton posted:

:lol: if you don't use potato hoes instead of pitchforks just :laffo:
tf is a potato hoe

Kirs
Dec 5, 2014

Apart from drinking, there is absolutely nothing to do here.

kalstrams posted:

tf is a potato hoe

~Advanced Potato Technologies~

cinci zoo sniper
Mar 15, 2013




hm i looked it up and it appears to be a bent pitchfork :confused:

BlankIsBeautiful
Apr 4, 2008

Feeling a little inadequate?

kalstrams posted:

no since you use pitchfork to unearth potatoes, not your hands or some other tools unless you feel like it's pyf lifehack thread time, then you use sand showel

Ah, I see. I garden, but I've never planted potatoes. They're, like $3 for 20 some pounds here in Ohio, so the cost/benefit of planting my own is pretty much nil.

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

kalstrams posted:

hm i looked it up and it appears to be a bent pitchfork :confused:

Yeah anglophones are weird they don't have the correct vocabulary for discussing potato technology. I bet there's an Irish word for it oh wait no the Irish don't have potato :newlol:

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

kalstrams posted:

tf is a potato hoe

ur mum

steinrokkan
Apr 2, 2011



Soiled Meat

:boom:

cinci zoo sniper
Mar 15, 2013




cinci zoo sniper
Mar 15, 2013




BlankIsBeautiful posted:

Ah, I see. I garden, but I've never planted potatoes. They're, like $3 for 20 some pounds here in Ohio, so the cost/benefit of planting my own is pretty much nil.
they are not expensive in latvia either, but seeds always were cheaper and people were, and still are, largely frugal

Present
Oct 28, 2011

by Shine

BlankIsBeautiful posted:

Stolen from the yospos picture thread:




I wonder if there's a "potato strength".

This is based on a fairy tale that pretty much every little kid in eastern Europe knows about a giant turnip grown by a village family.

fuck off Batman
Oct 14, 2013

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah!


Present posted:

This is based on a fairy tale that pretty much every little kid in eastern Europe knows about a giant turnip grown by a village family.

It's to teach us the value of communism team work.

The_Franz
Aug 8, 2003

kalstrams posted:

oh, the gross boiled salami thing. it's the "big" one so i dont associate it with word "sausage"


That's a good and proper sausage.

The only thing wrong is that there is no fresh horseradish next to it.

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3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

kalstrams posted:

they are not expensive in latvia either, but seeds always were cheaper and people were, and still are, largely frugal

People who like new potatoes often grow their own because new potatoes are often more expensive. It's dead easy to grow potatoes on a balcony or any tiny plot in a bag of soil.

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