blackberry deathwatch 2014.10.2.1.537 (now with fm radio) [plus canadachat]

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > blackberry deathwatch 2014.10.2.1.537 (now with fm radio) [plus canadachat]

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during which ancient egyptian month will blackberry die?
	thout
	paopi
	hathor
	koiak
	tobi
	meshir
	paremhat
	paremoude
	pashons
	paoni
	epip
	mesori
	gasthred
	banop
	RIM'S GONNA KEEP GOING BABY!!!

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FrozenVent: May 1, 2009; The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

trudeau's like how do I even take a selfie with this thing

# ? Feb 28, 2016 13:36

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# ? May 9, 2024 10:45

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

very carefully

# ? Feb 28, 2016 13:36

Asymmetric POSTer: Aug 17, 2005

http://www.jpost.com/Business-and-Innovation/Exclusive-Former-Blackberry-CEO-Heins-out-at-Israeli-tech-company-Powermat-446322

quote:

Powermat Technologies CEO Thorsten Heins, best known for his failed attempt to turn around Blackberry as CEO from 2012 to 2013, will leave the position, The Jerusalem Post has learned.

Heins�s ouster results from a lawsuit that three board members � including the company�s founder and former CEO and chairman Ran Poliakine � filed against the Neveh Ilan-based company and Heins in October.

The lawsuit alleged that Heins was running the company without an approved budget, and tanking it financially in the process.

lmao

# ? Mar 1, 2016 04:30

fishmech: Jul 16, 2006; by VideoGames; Salad Prong

"Been doing a lot of phone research recently. The BlackBerry Priv launched in Australia last week. The demo unit was cool. Did my research and uh. BlackBerry only shipped 45 units for the entire of Australia."

# ? Mar 1, 2016 04:36

Pinterest Mom: Jun 9, 2009

PleasureKevin posted:

this doesn't even look like a photo op but they tried to make it one.

JT's been doing the rounds with lovely canadian tech companies
https://twitter.com/JustinTrudeau/status/702990309865689094

# ? Mar 1, 2016 04:51

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

maybe he can show up beside the withered husk of nortel next

# ? Mar 1, 2016 05:12

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Pinterest Mom posted:

lovely canadian tech companies

this is redundant, btw

# ? Mar 1, 2016 05:12

The Management: Jan 2, 2010; sup, bitch?

reminder that California has a 30% greater GDP than all of Canada (pre-oil crash).

# ? Mar 1, 2016 06:51

Pinterest Mom: Jun 9, 2009

# ? Mar 1, 2016 14:27

Tayter Swift: Nov 18, 2002; Pillbug

Glorious Leader Justin Trudeau providing advice to the technologic engineers of the Democratic People's' Republic of Canada

# ? Mar 1, 2016 17:15

Pinterest Mom: Jun 9, 2009

Pinterest Mom posted:

https://twitter.com/JustinTrudeau/status/705086135622569988

# ? Mar 2, 2016 18:54

PleasureKevin: Jan 2, 2011

Pinterest Mom posted:

https://twitter.com/JustinTrudeau/status/705086135622569988

legalize weed now bastard

# ? Mar 2, 2016 22:58

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Pinterest Mom posted:

https://twitter.com/JustinTrudeau/status/705086135622569988

we are all interested in the future for that is where you and i are going to spend the rest of our lives

# ? Mar 2, 2016 23:04

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; What is the Matrix 🌐? We just don't know 😎.; Buglord

PleasureKevin posted:

legalize weed now bastard

# ? Mar 3, 2016 04:29

A Pinball Wizard: Mar 23, 2005; I know every trick, no freak's gonna beat my hands; College Slice

PleasureKevin posted:

legalize weed now bastard

/
/
/

# ? Mar 3, 2016 14:25

Kenny Logins: Jan 11, 2011; EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A WHITE WHALE INTO THE PEQUOD. IT'S HELL'S HEART AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I STRIKE AT THEE ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, ISHMAEL.

A Pinball Wizard posted:

/
/
/

have you ever done an audio tour of the louvre

on weed

# ? Mar 3, 2016 14:36

Blackula69: Apr 1, 2007; ＤＥＨＵＭＡＮＩＺＥＹＯＵＲＳＥＬＦ＆ＦＡＣＥＴＯＢＬＡＣＵＬＡ

weed is basically legal in toronto

there's this thing where you just go into a dispensary with a prescription bottle for something that is also treated with marijuana and they sign you up. Somehow they think this makes it legal.

Blackula69 fucked around with this message at 19:47 on Mar 3, 2016

# ? Mar 3, 2016 15:16

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

and everyone's real surprised when the cops bust in and start slapping on handcuffs.

p.s. don't advertise your completely illegal "dispensary" on breakfast television. this isn't half baked you loving twits

# ? Mar 3, 2016 19:17

surebet: Jan 10, 2013; ａｖａｔａｒ
ｓｐｅｃｉａｌｉｓｔ

The Management posted:

reminder that California has a 30% greater GDP than all of Canada (pre-oil crash).

well tbf cali has 10-15% more people than the whole of canada, so yeah

anyway, crackberry is pushing this:

i mean technically blackberry has been profitable in 2015h2 but still

# ? Mar 3, 2016 20:09

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

yes, because they sold all their property assets, in a country undergoing a real-estate bubble.

# ? Mar 3, 2016 20:11

graph: Nov 22, 2006; aaag peanuts

surebet posted:

anyway, crackberry is pushing this:

im physically cringing

# ? Mar 3, 2016 20:12

flakeloaf: Feb 26, 2003; Still better than android clock

surebet posted:

well tbf cali has 10-15% more people than the whole of canada, so yeah

anyway, crackberry is pushing this:

i mean technically blackberry has been profitable in 2015h2 but still

# ? Mar 3, 2016 20:29

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

flakeloaf posted:

# ? Mar 4, 2016 00:53

Kenny Logins: Jan 11, 2011; EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A WHITE WHALE INTO THE PEQUOD. IT'S HELL'S HEART AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I STRIKE AT THEE ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, ISHMAEL.

surebet posted:

well tbf cali has 10-15% more people than the whole of canada, so yeah

anyway, crackberry is pushing this:

i mean technically blackberry has been profitable in 2015h2 but still

I guess they felt "dirty deeds done dirt cheap" was too on the nose

# ? Mar 4, 2016 13:09

The Kins: Oct 2, 2004

the struggle continues

The Beeb posted:

BlackBerry sales fell by almost $200m in the three months to the end of February in a bigger-than-expected slide that sent shares down almost 8%.

The Canadian company said smartphone sales had been below projections in the quarter.

Chief executive John Chen blamed delays in negotiations with mobile networks about its Android-based Priv handset.

Blackberry reported revenue of $464m, but analysts had expected $563m.
It swung to a net loss of $238m for the quarter, compared with a profit of $28m for the same period last year.

Mr Chen said cost-cutting meant the company now needed to sell only 3 million devices a year - down from a previous estimate of 5 million - at an average of $300 apiece to break even on handsets.

"The softness at the high end of the smartphone market is certainly a headwind, but the main issue that we face and that we need to address is the distribution," he told analysts.

Blackberry has found its market for expensive handsets heavily eroded in recent years by competitors including Apple's iPhone and the Samsung Galaxy range.

It now has less than 1% of the global smartphone market and if the Priv fails to sell well it could be the last Blackberry device.

Morningstar analyst Brian Colello said: "The decline in hardware revenue is certainly a negative. We'd like to see more details into how close Blackberry is to achieving its target of profitability."

Blackberry said it expected its software and services revenue to grow faster than the overall market, at about 30%.

"We have more than doubled our software business - we have clearly gained traction and market share," Mr Chen said.

Software and services accounted for just under a third of total revenues, with hardware on 39% and service access fees making up 29%.

Shares in Blackberry were down 64 cents to $7.45 in New York in morning trading. They have fallen almost a fifth since the start of the year.

# ? Apr 2, 2016 15:08

Asymmetric POSTer: Aug 17, 2005

The Kins posted:

Mr Chen said cost-cutting meant the company now needed to sell only 3 million devices a year - down from a previous estimate of 5 million - at an average of $300 apiece to break even on handsets.

lmao that this is a thing a publicly traded company says about their own financial performance

# ? Apr 2, 2016 15:14

Mr. Apollo: Nov 8, 2000

blackerry to focus on "mid-level" android devices"

quote:

BlackBerry kills BB10, will work on mid-range Android phones instead

BlackBerry's change of direction comes after enterprise customers � the only remaining significant pocket of loyalty for the company � complained that its first Android entry was too expensive, CEO John Chen said this week. Chen admitted that the release of the $700 Priv may have been a tactical error.

"The fact that we came out with a high end phone [as our first Android device] was probably not as wise as it should have been," Chen told Abu Dhabi paper The National.

"A lot of enterprise customers have said to us, 'I want to buy your phone but $700 is a little too steep for me. I'm more interested in a $400 device'," he added.

The growing duopoly between Android and iOS has squeezed BlackBerry's own in-house operating system out of the market. BlackBerry will continue to support BlackBerry 10 � once heralded as the company's future � for an unspecified period of time, but will not release new BB10-based devices.

Still, Chen believes his firm has a chance for differentiation based on BlackBerry's long history of strong security and integration in corporate environments.

"We're the only people who really secure Android, taking the security features of BlackBerry that everyone knows us for and make it more reachable for the market," he said.

# ? Apr 11, 2016 17:46

flakeloaf: Feb 26, 2003; Still better than android clock

a curve that spoke whatever language our new exchange server speaks would've been way better than a touchscreen fancyphone with a facebook app and a battery that dies every four hours

# ? Apr 11, 2016 17:51

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Mr. Apollo posted:

"We're the only people who really secure Android, taking the security features of BlackBerry that everyone knows us for

lmao

# ? Apr 11, 2016 17:55

BangersInMyKnickers: Nov 3, 2004; I have a thing for courageous dongles

the only security feature I knew on blackberry was their unwillingness to use the shitshow of the android kernel and now here we are

# ? Apr 11, 2016 18:22

The Management: Jan 2, 2010; sup, bitch?

it's almost like they're trying to fail without being too obvious about it

# ? Apr 11, 2016 18:33

Tayter Swift: Nov 18, 2002; Pillbug

Mr. Apollo posted:

blackerry to focus on "mid-level" android devices"

in olden times this triggered the death pool

# ? Apr 11, 2016 20:20

The Management: Jan 2, 2010; sup, bitch?

Tayter Swift posted:

in olden times this triggered the death pool

sounds good, let's call it. who had April 11, 2016?

# ? Apr 11, 2016 21:03

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

nobody expected them to hang on for this long when the thread started.

how long until the phone brand is sold to some shithouse chinese oem and they try to become an mdm vendor

# ? Apr 11, 2016 21:38

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

Thanks Ants posted:

nobody expected them to hang on for this long when the thread started.

how long until the phone brand is sold to some shithouse chinese oem and they try to become an mdm vendor

lol never, Canada will never let that happen

# ? Apr 11, 2016 21:41

Cocoa Crispies: Jul 20, 2001; Vehicular Manslaughter!; Pillbug

Tayter Swift posted:

in olden times this triggered the death pool

i don't fuckin' feel like trawling through archives but i'm reasonably sure i put an end date on them

# ? Apr 11, 2016 23:26

ahmeni: May 1, 2005; It's one continuous form where hardware and software function in perfect unison, creating a new generation of iPhone that's better by any measure.; Grimey Drawer

BACK BY UNPOPULAR DEMAND

RIM blackberry makes bad phones for clueless olds, obnoxious business olds, third worlders, and other chronically out-of-touch demographics. The market has decided they should be punished.

WHAT COUNTS AS RIM blackberry DEATH
Bailout by the Government of Canada/Gouvernement du Canada
Bankruptcy filing
Breaking off of or sales of divisions such as phones, tablets, software, or operations
Discontinuation of all hardware sales
Company bought by a tech company (i.e. Amazon rolling up some patents, not Hudson's Bay Company or Bombardier trying to break in to the oldphone business)

WHAT YOU CAN DO TO HELP
By 8pm US Eastern (Miami) time, September 25, 2013, guess a date in 2013 or 2014 that RIM blackberry will die before.

If whoever the ceo is folds the company on July 1, 2014 (Canada Day), the gentle poster that guessed July 4 would beat whoever guessed June 30 or July 5.

WHY YOU SHOULD HELP
For great prizes!

GRAND PRIZE IF YOU GUESS THE EXACT DAY: a GSM BlackBerry of my choice
FIRST PRIZE FOR THE CLOSEST: the windows phone of my choice
SECOND PRIZE: an unlocked GSM Android of my choice
THIRD PRIZE: some junk food

WHAT IF THEY DON'T DIE
You don't get poo poo.

WHAT IF THEY DIE BEFORE SEPT. 25 2013
You don't get poo poo.

WHAT IF THERE'S A TIE
Whoever guessed that date first gets it.

WHAT IF I GUESS TWO DATES
You're disqualified, and don't start any drat fool side bets because I'm not going to read that poo poo.

WHAT HAPPENS IF THEY ANNOUNCE A MERGER BUT IT DOESN'T TAKE EFFECT FOR A WHILE
Announcing something doesn't count, doing the thing does.

# ? Apr 11, 2016 23:43

Tayter Swift: Nov 18, 2002; Pillbug

does this count as killing their software then idk

# ? Apr 12, 2016 00:02

Mr. Apollo: Nov 8, 2000

Tayter Swift posted:

does this count as killing their software then idk

i think so. they're no longer producing their own OS. �\_(ツ)_/�

# ? Apr 12, 2016 03:20

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# ? May 9, 2024 10:45

Wheany: Mar 17, 2006; Spinya^{ha^{ha^haha}ha}ha_{ha_{ha_haha}ha}ha!; Doctor Rope

finally, the sweet release.

# ? Apr 12, 2016 07:15

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > blackberry deathwatch 2014.10.2.1.537 (now with fm radio) [plus canadachat]

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