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Apr 16, 2016 07:23
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Toast is a bad poster imo.
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Apr 16, 2016 07:24
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Mr.Tophat posted:*ref produces a black card* What's the penalty for a black card? Two weeks cleaning out Ben's folds?
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Apr 16, 2016 07:24
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"Derek, please, for the last time I beg you, don't lower yourself to the level of the goons!" "But if I'm part of the goons, I can help steer them in wise directions. Now, where's my giant foam battlecruiser and airhorn?"
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Apr 16, 2016 07:27
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grimcreaper posted:Cant be worse than having a panic attack and losing 4 to 6 hours of sleep anyway, time for me to try again! I can't link to online guides worth a poo poo since I learned to do it in the 80's but text is my trigger. If I experience a "maybe dreaming" tell I try to read something. Dream text is always gibberish, at least for me. Once I see that I know I can do anything. Most times, 'anything' means waking up and shouting a curse word and getting punched by my girlfriend. When it doesn't though I'm briefly the Lawnmower Man. It's worth pursuing if nightmares really gently caress with you that badly.
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Apr 16, 2016 07:28
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Codekeeper posted:What's the penalty for a black card? Two weeks cleaning out Ben's folds? I work retail. I hold my breath around really heavy people. One of our newer employees actually saw me take a breath, hold it, and move well beyond and to the side of where one of our fatter regulars was walking before i started to breath again. "Thats really rude to do." he said. Just as the funk started to hit him, his face contorted and he started gagging. He managed to regain his composure after i grabbed him and started to move him towards the area i had been standing at. "And thats why i hold my breath if im going to walk through the path of anyone who looks like they weigh more than 350 pounds." He didnt say a word. Just walked off looking a bit green. I wouldnt wish the Fold Washing punishment on anyone, even Christo Roberto himself. Sandi isnt a human, so i could care less if she had to though.
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Apr 16, 2016 07:31
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Mirificus posted:
 https://forums.robertsspaceindustries.com/discussion/comment/6571303/#Comment_6571303  https://forums.robertsspaceindustries.com/discussion/comment/6571621/#Comment_6571621
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Apr 16, 2016 07:32
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drat, just when this was getting exciting Derek went to bed.  What a waste of popcorn. Come back Derek I miss you!! You need to finish this.
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Apr 16, 2016 07:33
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Codekeeper posted:What's the penalty for a black card? Two weeks cleaning out Ben's folds? Refactoring duty
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Apr 16, 2016 07:34
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Skellybones posted:"Derek, please, for the last time I beg you, don't lower yourself to the level of the goons!" I hit my airhorn in time with the .gif 'Leave all the JPEGs, alone.'
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Apr 16, 2016 07:35
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Skellybones posted:"Derek, please, for the last time I beg you, don't lower yourself to the level of the goons!" Derek is asleep and might have gotten this from mods re: doxxing ragequit, permission be damned Or not, laughs are guaranteed either way
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Apr 16, 2016 07:36
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lol derek what are you doing this thread is such a fever dream
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Apr 16, 2016 07:41
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grimcreaper posted:I work retail. I hold my breath around really heavy people. One of our newer employees actually saw me take a breath, hold it, and move well beyond and to the side of where one of our fatter regulars was walking before i started to breath again. "Thats really rude to do." he said. Just as the funk started to hit him, his face contorted and he started gagging. This is one of the reasons I work from home now. I do IT work, imagine working with someone who has "fat people smell" who also sweats a lot and the smell gets worse and worse as the day goes on. It gets to the point where you're spraying bathroom air freshener on him when he's not looking. 
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Apr 16, 2016 07:41
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Haskell9 posted:I can't link to online guides worth a poo poo since I learned to do it in the 80's but text is my trigger. If I experience a "maybe dreaming" tell I try to read something. Dream text is always gibberish, at least for me. Once I see that I know I can do anything. Most times, 'anything' means waking up and shouting a curse word and getting punched by my girlfriend. When it doesn't though I'm briefly the Lawnmower Man. It's worth pursuing if nightmares really gently caress with you that badly. Its usually not the nightmare itself per-se. Its the hypnopompic hallucinations as im waking up. They can go on for like 10 seconds or more, which feels like an eternity when your seeing the horrible shifty murder wendigo things skittering on your walls about to murder you. Your nightmare overlapping with reality is what gets me. Theres a few nightmares, old PTSD stuff that triggers serious panic attacks. But outside of that, a lot of my nightmares tend to be like thrill rides with jump scares, so they are fun to watch. Im really gonna have to try and get that lucid stuff down. Might help with some of the others.
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Apr 16, 2016 07:42
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 "Sold my roof to get a ship." Guy complains about exchange rates, makes $300/month, is a rear admiral ($250-500).
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Apr 16, 2016 07:42
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So much for Ben (and everyone else I guess) being human. If he were then you guys wouldn't gain so much joy from making GBS threads on him. gently caress this thread I hope it dies etc.
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Apr 16, 2016 07:43
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Langosta Paleface posted:So much for Ben (and everyone else I guess) being human. If he were then you guys wouldn't gain so much joy from making GBS threads on him.
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Apr 16, 2016 07:45
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Langosta Paleface posted:So much for Ben (and everyone else I guess) being human. If he were then you guys wouldn't gain so much joy from making GBS threads on him. We don't make fun of him BECAUSE he's wide. It's because he works for a soul sucking scam and is complicit in shoveling poo poo to the masses. His ability to generate his own gravity is just an easy target. Even if he was  he would receive the same treatment.
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Apr 16, 2016 07:49
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Langosta Paleface posted:So much for Ben (and everyone else I guess) being human. If he were then you guys wouldn't gain so much joy from making GBS threads on him. Lol
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Apr 16, 2016 07:50
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What the gently caress did you animals do this time.
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Apr 16, 2016 07:50
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Langosta Paleface posted:So much for Ben (and everyone else I guess) being human. If he were then you guys wouldn't gain so much joy from making GBS threads on him. Please direct me to your humiliating blog
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Apr 16, 2016 07:51
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The free fly event is barely bringing in anyone new. Compare to the package split in February and the previous free fly in mid-March. (Edit: wrong graph) boviscopophobic fucked around with this message at 16:36 on Apr 16, 2016 |
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Apr 16, 2016 07:53
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Derek is the TMZ of gaming community and CIG are the Kardashians
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Apr 16, 2016 07:53
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Kavak posted:What the gently caress did you animals do this time. We talked about cheese. we talked about lucid dreaming. Derek threatened to reveal Ragequit's identity. Ragequit called Derek's bluff and said "Do it." (the quote i incorrect, but the meaning is the same.) Derek went to sleep without the reveal. And now were here.
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Apr 16, 2016 07:54
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Kavak posted:What the gently caress did you animals do this time. start here and keep reading. never stop reading. http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3748466&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=3262#post458761838
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Apr 16, 2016 07:54
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A Neurotic Jew posted:start here and keep reading. never stop reading. Ben is going to be forced to read this thread because of that website. Hes going to be so sad when the benfat jokes start to come out. Then he will be upset that we found out about his inner serial killer. Hes also not gonna be happy when I claimed he might be wearing that news anchor's skin way before Samizdata did.
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Apr 16, 2016 07:59
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Apr 16, 2016 08:00
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grimcreaper posted:Ben is going to be forced to read this thread because of that website. Hes going to be so sad when the benfat jokes start to come out. Then he will be upset that we found out about his inner serial killer. Hes also not gonna be happy when I claimed he might be wearing that news anchor's skin way before Samizdata did. lol he's been reading this thread forever.
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Apr 16, 2016 08:01
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A Neurotic Jew posted:lol he's been reading this thread forever. Well, to be fair, hes been fat forever too. Ben, its ok, im fat too. Lose some weight though, we fatties can be fat without being am hollow, like death all our lives.
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Apr 16, 2016 08:02
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Langosta Paleface posted:Guys, is it really okay to dig up stupid embarrassing poo poo that Ben did and start tweeting it at him? Is it possible that he know's how dumb it was and that he's closed that chapter of his life? Does his current social circle need to be introduced/reintroduced to this stuff? Hi Ben
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Apr 16, 2016 08:03
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Mr.Tophat posted:If an opponent is quick to anger, irritate him
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Apr 16, 2016 08:04
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Langosta Paleface posted:Guys, is it really okay to dig up stupid embarrassing poo poo that Ben did and start tweeting it at him? Is it possible that he know's how dumb it was and that he's closed that chapter of his life? Does his current social circle need to be introduced/reintroduced to this stuff? In the last 500 years, the Fourth Stimpire has dominated four systems, which it has united into one starzone, Stimsis. The Fourth Stimpire has origins from the Ten Empire War in which 10 of the United Stimpires revolted against each rules. All empires except for the fourth swore freedom upon their citizens. There is no free speech in the Fourth Stimpire, and all self-controlled transportation has been made illegal without undergoing painful medical verification methods, in which arteries are severed without pain resistant, operated entirely by machines. The way they work claim to be the most hygenic and healthy way possible, but these machines often rub against pain points, causing great deals of pain to patients. The heart is then extracted from the body and placed into a glass grinding machine. Various energy centers are also dissected and replaced with dangerous transplants. After the painful, 52 hour surgical procedure, patients will then have to use a fused guidance tool, which pumps painful resistors into the body every 2 hours. The pain they have caused is so bad, the victim would freeze in a tense position. They would then collapse afterwards. Sexual stimulation in any way within the grounds of the Fourth Stimpire is strictly prohibited, and anyone detected even touching their sexual organs will be subjected to a penectomy or if the offender was a female, they would then have a razor inserted into their ovaries. They would pump a blue solution into the womb until the stitchings burst. Offenders would also be forced to show their operated areas in public, and they would always harass and punch them to a pulp, against their will. Otherwise, offenders would be tazed with the worst type of electricity in the systematic district, causing so much pain, the victim would scream and flail in madness. The pain would also triple every second, but no death would be incurred. This is also used in combat against enemy units, which is why all UEE forces must wear the upgraded suit to block this effect. However, enertainment is also questionable in UEE grounds. Sporting events end with the losing team being rounded into a grinder and shredded on live television, boxing matches end with the loser having their hands removed without anasthesia, flight races would end with the losers having their arms and legs removed, then being injected with insanity, for entertainment. People are also forced into these events, by undergoing a painful 127 hour procedure which involves tweaking the muscles so they will not listen to brain commands, and then having a painful drug injected which also causes madness if the player is not sporting. This is all for entertainment, and anyone not watching any of it during sporting times and cheering for the winning team, they will be imprisoned into galactic camps. Snuff films are also broadcast, and actors are actually murdered just for entertainment. Stealth droids also guide these forced actors into behaving exactly as the director dreams, otherwise they will be punished by being placed into a macerator and having their execution written into the film. Any film that does not feature someone being murdered will be burned and the entire crew behind it will be executed in the most grotesque way possible - vivisection. All executions are broadcast, and anyone who misses even a millisecond, even by blinking, will be executed. All citizens must boo to the person being executed, and the family is gathered to be injected with eternators, which cause pain forever, making them immoral but feeling the pain tenfold every millisecond. They cannot pass out, but they will feel like it forever. Conquests by this Stimpire end in the planet being razed, and all the citizens being executed in the same way as their citizens are. The planet is then destroyed and all remnants of it are removed, and any memories of it will be erased instantly from civil minds. People who are also killed are also erased from memories, and all memories of them, including toys and pictures, are destroyed. Prisoners undergo 40,000 years of relentless and endless labor, and anyone not complying is sentenced to the eternator injection. All prisoners injected with eternators are placed into capsules and launched into far space, then the room is closed tight to ensure maximum insanity. Some prisoners are also subjected to the removal of blood, the lungs, the liver, the genitals, the skeleton, the muscles, the eyes, and even the injection of pressure. Prisoners sentenced to pressure chambers are locked in until they are inflated to a high level. The decompression is then stopped to make sure they are inflated and uncomfortable. Children born on the 14th of July are subjected to the removal of their skeleton and an implant of a silver liquid to replace it. The nervous sysem is also injected in various parts to ensure it is five times more sensitive than the average. Restaurants also are ordered to serve civil meat, and anyone attending must give themself up to be cooked into a grotesque meal. They are cooked alive, undergoing extreme pain, and are then subjected to industrial grinders and blenders. The Stimpire orders at least 1 million citizens to be dispatched every day, as they are afraid the population may overthrow them. But only one planet is cared for, and the rest are banned from eating, drinking, talking, using technology, touching anyone, wearing unauthorized clothes, touching buildings, or walking a centimeter out of designated routes. Civil enforcers are on every planet, and they are engineered so that they are 40 times larger than the 300 quadrillion population. At least 7 billion die every 12 hours under this rule. Thoughts are also surveyed, and anyone who does not think anything to loving the Stimpire with more than their capabilities will be sentenced to a prison. Prisoners who are punished for this violation will meet their greatest fear, only to have it amplified so they will turn insane as they imagine it exactly as they fear it. They then undergo a painful extraction of all fluids, to be replaced by a toxin which causes permanent irritation. The unknown substance keeps the subject aging normally, except they will never die. Prisoners punished in this way are unable to be reverted, despite many efforts, and they will never be able to be disposed. The sickening truths have been revealed only today, and invigilation teams are still investigating the truths without setting foot in the galactic space of this sickening empire.
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Apr 16, 2016 08:05
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A Neurotic Jew posted:start here and keep reading. never stop reading.  I have never felt less guilty and hypocritical about the fat jokes than I do now.EDIT: Please don't start doing Doxxy poo poo with this, though.
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Apr 16, 2016 08:05
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EminusSleepus posted:Derek is the TMZ of gaming community and CIG are the Kardashians yet still, in all this, I am still a goon
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Apr 16, 2016 08:07
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Kavak posted:
Check out his 1200 pictures of the news anchor.
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Apr 16, 2016 08:09
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What an interesting day in the thread! Like loving everything happening all inside the span of one evening. I'm really looking forward to seeing what happens tomorrow. Derek Smart is the ultimate internet warlord and I have nothing but admiration for what he's doing. Most of the other regulars are also fantastic, but Derek has been on a goddamn roll today.
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Apr 16, 2016 08:09
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AlmightyPants posted:What an interesting day in the thread! Like loving everything happening all inside the span of one evening. I'm really looking forward to seeing what happens tomorrow. Derek Smart is the ultimate internet warlord and I have nothing but admiration for what he's doing. Most of the other regulars are also fantastic, but Derek has been on a goddamn roll today. Derek does have good posts usually. I like when he tries to goon the goons and then they goon him back and he threatens to leave forever and then gets gooned into coming back becuase hes a goon.
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Apr 16, 2016 08:12
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TTerrible posted:In the last 500 years, the Fourth Stimpire has dominated four systems, which it has united into one starzone, Stimsis. The Fourth Stimpire has origins from the Ten Empire War in which 10 of the United Stimpires revolted against each rules. All empires except for the fourth swore freedom upon their citizens. There is no free speech in the Fourth Stimpire, and all self-controlled transportation has been made illegal without undergoing painful medical verification methods, in which arteries are severed without pain resistant, operated entirely by machines. The way they work claim to be the most hygenic and healthy way possible, but these machines often rub against pain points, causing great deals of pain to patients. The heart is then extracted from the body and placed into a glass grinding machine. Various energy centers are also dissected and replaced with dangerous transplants. After the painful, 52 hour surgical procedure, patients will then have to use a fused guidance tool, which pumps painful resistors into the body every 2 hours. The pain they have caused is so bad, the victim would freeze in a tense position. They would then collapse afterwards. I'm glad of it
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Apr 16, 2016 08:13
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grimcreaper posted:Derek does have good posts usually. I like when he tries to goon the goons and then they goon him back and he threatens to leave forever and then gets gooned into coming back becuase hes a goon. The Star Citizen Thread 
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Apr 16, 2016 08:14
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Oh god, just read all the Ben stalker poo poo. Is this guy ChrisChan's twin or something?
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Apr 16, 2016 08:14
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