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Empress Theonora
Feb 19, 2001

She was a sword glinting in the depths of night, a lance of light piercing the darkness. There would be no mistakes this time.
I like how it says that the Compromise of 1850 "postponed the Civil War for 10 years" without saying what exactly that compromise was.

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Lycus
Aug 5, 2008

Half the posters in this forum have been made up. This website is a goddamn ghost town.

Platystemon posted:

TR was the greatest president the U.S. ever had (at least in timelines where Frémont didn’t win in 1856).

WJB can suck on hard cider.

So no Eternal President Debs for you?

i say swears online
Mar 4, 2005

GreyjoyBastard posted:

When your company's sainted founder is literally named James Crow, you have to choose between running away from that awkward association or donning it wholeheartedly like a pointy white hat.

I had to look that up and apparently Jim Crow and James C. Crow, distiller, are totally unrelated but surfaced within five years of each other. Weird.

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS

Aliquid posted:

I had to look that up and apparently Jim Crow and James C. Crow, distiller, are totally unrelated but surfaced within five years of each other. Weird.

I was scratching my head wondering how a distiller might come to be named after a stock comedy character.

That answers it.

Youth Decay
Aug 18, 2015

Victoria Woodhull owned* and I would protest vote for her anytime

*besides the eugenics stuff she got into in her latter years

Mrs. Satan posted:

Now, I say, that that common public is entitled to all the benefits
accruing from common efforts; and it is an infamous wrong that
makes it accrue to the benefit of a special few. And a system of society
which permits such arbitrary distributions of wealth is a disgrace to
Christian civilization, whose Author and his Disciples had all things in
common. Let professing Christians who, for a pretense, make long
prayers, think of that, and then denounce Communism, if they can:
and denounce me as a Revolutionist for advocating it, if they dare...


I do not care to what length Christians may stretch their faces of a
Sunday, nor how much they pay to support their ministers; nor do I
care how long prayers they may make, nor what sermons preach, when
they denounce the fundamental principles of the teachings of Christ,
I will turn upon and, in his language, utter their own condemna-
tion: “Inasmuch as ye have not done it unto the least of these,
ye have not done it unto Christ" And they may make all the fuss,
call me all the hard names they please; but they can’t escape the
judgment. And I don’t intend they shall have a chance to escape it.
I am going to strip the masks of hypocrisy from their faces, and let
the world see them as they are. They have had preaching without
practice long enough. The people want practice now, and when they
get it, they can even afford to do without the preaching.
Besides Full Communism, her policy positions included: full gender and racial equality in all aspects, free universal public education up to the college level ("every person of adult age shall have graduated in the highest departments of learning, as well as in the arts, sciences and practical mechanics") nationalization of the railroads, breaking up corporate monopolies, open borders, a progressive income tax, support for organized labor, the legalization and licensure of prostitution, civil service reform, public assistance programs, free trade, prison reform, lowering the voting age to eighteen, and the proposal of a proto-United Nations.

axeil
Feb 14, 2006
I voted Grant as I feel he's the only choice that will keep the South from rising up again. They can get all the proto-socialism they want after the specter of the Confederacy is smashed and we've completed the 1870s version of De-Nazification. It's too dangerous to let the embers of rebellion fester.

QuoProQuid
Jan 12, 2012

Tr*ckin' and F*ckin' all the way to tha
T O P

Thank you for voting. After a long and hard-fought campaign, Ulysses S. Grant has narrowly won re-election. To his embarrassment, however, Grant will have to contend with a hostile Liberal Republican and Prohibitionist Congress. Grant can only hope that his colleague, Henry Wilson can stem the tide of discontent over the rampant corruption in the Administration.

MOST POPULAR TICKET:

Ulysses S. Grant / Henry Wilson (Republican) - 41 votes (40.2%)
James Black / John Russell (Prohibition) - 33 votes (32.4%)
Horace Greenley / Benjamin Gratz Brown (Liberal Republican / Democratic) - 23 votes (22.5%)
Charles O’Conor / John Quincy Adams II (Bourbon Democratic) - 5 votes (4.9%)
TOTAL: 102 votes

QuoProQuid
Jan 12, 2012

Tr*ckin' and F*ckin' all the way to tha
T O P

ELECTION OF 1876

:siren: Click here to vote in the Election of 1876! :siren:



Background:

Following his election in 1872, Grant was at a career high. Though most Americans remained deeply concerned about the allegations of corruption surrounding his administration, Grant’s popularity proved sufficient to quell any discontent. Horace Greenley was dead after having been driven mad by an electoral landslide. Grant’s allies controlled both the Senate and House. Even the South, which had waged a ferocious campaign against Grant, seemed to be accepting his administration. If the situation persisted, Grant seemed likely to pursue an unprecedented third-term.

Unfortunately, Grant would soon be overtaken by economic calamity. Over the past four years, the United States had enjoyed almost unprecedented economic expansion. Driven by major reconstruction projects across the South and a craze in railroad investment, stock prices across the country reached a fever pitch. As prices rose, investors made riskier and riskier decisions believing that they would soon make massive profits. Despite offering seemingly no returns on investment, docks, factories, and train stations popped up around the country. Worsening matters, Grant suddenly decreased the country’s money supply by putting the United States on a de facto gold standard. As investors tried to realize their profits, the money they needed suddenly became scarce or (more frequently) non-existent.

In September 1873, Jay Cooke & Company, the cornerstone of the American banking establishment, declared bankruptcy. The failure triggered the collapse of Livermore, Clews and Company, the second-largest marketer of federal bonds in the country. As bank after bank closed, the New York Stock Exchange was forced to shut down. By November, the crisis had spread nationwide as 55 of the country’s largest railroad companies failed. Construction, which had served as the backbone of the economy, plummeted. Wages were cut, real estate values shrank, and corporate profits vanished. Meanwhile,food prices plummeted, forcing most of the country’s farmers to survive on subsistence level consumption.

Violent strikes by unemployed workers were reportedly happening on a daily basis. Alcohol consumption skyrocketed. The United States, as well as the entire world economy, would remain trapped in a deep recession for almost a decade.

As many Americans were reduced to abject poverty, reports continued to swirl about rampant corruption within the Grant Administration. Despite promises to clean up his administration, Grant had unceremoniously reappointed all his former cabinet officials. These officials immediately set to work stealing as much money as they could manage. The Treasury was embroiled in a massive scandal wherein officials had exploited delinquent accounts to make hundreds of thousands of dollars. The Secretary of the Interior was discovered taking bribes for fraudulent land claims while pocketing salaries of imaginary employees. The Justice Department openly accepted bribes in return for declining to prosecute certain trial cases. When the Whiskey Ring scandal hit, it seemed probable that even the White House was involved. Allegations emerged that Grant had profited from bribes and used those bribes to fund his 1872 re-election campaign.

Though the President was eventually cleared, the events forced Grant into an early retirement. With the country roiling from four years of crisis, the Republicans would need an almost perfect candidate to avoid electoral disaster. Thankfully, they found their man in Rutherford B. Hayes.

Rutherford B. Hayes was the favorite son of the all-important swing state of Ohio. He was a war hero and had extensive executive experience. He had a reputation for effective, bipartisan governance. Even better, he had railed against the spoils system and had a reputation for integrity that outshone even Grant. Though the Republicans would still face an up-hill campaign, Hayes would at least blunt the worst of the chaos.

Seeing an opportunity for relevance, the Democrats nominated their strongest candidate in a decade: Samuel Jones Tilden. A New York reformer who had been instrumental in smashing the infamous Tweed Ring and an advocate of the poor, Tilden’s candidacy pointed directly at the Republican’s weaknesses. While Republicans had made themselves fat through graft and corruption, Tilden would restore integrity to the country.

REPUBLICAN PARTY NOMINEES:


Presidential Nominee: Rutherford B. Hayes
  • Party Affiliation: Republican Party
  • Home State: Ohio
  • Notable Positions: Governor of Ohio, United States Representative from Ohio, Brevet Major General in the Union Army
  • Biography: Known as “Rud” to his friends and family, Hayes is the son of settlers who can trace their American roots back to the early 1600s. Although his father died weeks before his birth, Rud enjoyed a happy childhood under the watchful eye of his mother, who maintained a farmer, a whiskey distiller, and rooms for weary travellers. For his intelligence, Hayes was admitted to Harvard Law School and admitted into the Ohio bar and eventually the Odd Fellows Club. Though much of his subsequent work involved commercial issues, Hayes gained prominence as a legal defense attorney. He became one of the few lawyers to successfully save his client using the insanity defense and defended dozens of slaves who had fled to Ohio from their former masters. Despite his support for abolition, Hayes wanted the Union to “let the South go” after Lincoln’s election. Only after the firing on Fort Sumpter did Hayes resolve his doubts and join the Ohio Volunteer Infantry, where he eventually became a major general. Following the war, Hayes joined Congress as a moderate Republican but frequently caucused with the radicals on issues related to freedman rights. Most recently, Hayes was elected to be the Ohio Governor. Though he lacked veto power, Hayes succeeded in bringing the Democrats and Republicans in his state together and helped ensure Ohio’s ratification of the Fifteenth Amendment, which guaranteed black suffrage.
  • Platform: Understanding that his chances of election are bleak, Hayes has done everything in his power to separate himself from the excesses of the Grant administration. To avoid allegations of corruption, Hayes’s main focus throughout the campaign has been calling for civil service reform and an end to the spoils system. He wants to prohibit all federal civil servants from engaging in political activities and has personally promised to award cabinet positions based on merit rather than political affiliation. These stances have caused Hayes to be criticized by many within his party, who are in favor of the spoils system and see Hayes as unnecessarily throwing away a source of power. To prevent himself from being swayed by these forces, Hayes has pledged to serve a single term. To prevent the Democrats from profiting from Republican corruption,. Hayes has reminded the country, once again, that the Democrats were responsible for the Civil War. This latest “waving of the bloody flag” seems less effective than in previous elections, however.

    Unlike the Democratic ticket, there is no question about the Republican stance on any economic issues. Hayes is a strong advocate of hard-money, believing that a restricted money supply based on the gold standard will bring about eventual economic prosperity. Greenbacks, Hayes believes, would cause huge inflation and scare away investors, further destabilizing the market. Hayes is also an advocate of strong tariffs to help pay off the huge national debt incurred over the Civil War. Though he recognizes that tariffs will inflate prices, he believes that they are necessary to rebuild American industry and protect labor. On social issues, Hayes supported the Radical Republicans in enfranchising blacks and has supported the use of federal troops to protect them. Though he still believes that African Americans need to be protected, he recognizes American exhaustion with civil rights and is looking to slowly remove federal troops from the South. Afterall, they may be needed elsewhere to put down riots in the cities, where worker discontent is particularly high. Hayes has also endorsed an amendment to the United States Constitution that would prohibit the government from giving money to religious schools. While the issue has been framed as a “separation of church and state” matter, many believe that Hayes is trying to destroy the Catholic Church’s growing network of private schools. These rumors are supported by Hayes’s stance on immigration, which seeks to impose harsh restrictions on “Chinese Mongolians” and non-Western Europeans.


Vice-Presidential Nominee: William A. Wheeler
  • Party Affiliation: Republican Party
  • Home State: New York
  • Notable Positions: United States Representative from New York, Member of the New York State Assembly
  • Biography: William A. Wheeler is an inoffensive Republican from upstate New York who has intentionally made himself obscure to avoid confrontation. Wheeler is one of the stranger politicians in America, a man so timid and quiet that most of his colleagues fail to recognize him in the street. Born to a promising attorney who died prematurely, Wheeler grew up constantly fearful that others would dislike him and that he would leave his family in abject poverty after he died. He achieved a Master of Arts degree from Dartmouth College before serving as a competent, albeit inscrutable, administrator of his home town. His successes were noticed by Republican Party officials, who nominated Wheeler to serve office in 1861. As a Representative, Wheeler kept silent in almost all official business and has kept himself to the shadows, preferring to master procedure and rules over personal relationships. Though he is considered fair and is well-liked by all the factions within the party, his supposed popularity is more due to a complete lack of recognition than his personality.
  • Platform: Wheeler has been placed on the ticket because he is one of the few Republicans not under investigation for major corruption charges and has a reputation for honesty. As a Congressman, Wheeler’s few speeches usually concerned the impropriety of his colleagues. In 1873, he was one of the few Congressman to vote against the Salary Grab Act, which tried to secretly increase Congressional salaries by 50%, and physically returned his paycheck to the Treasury to protest the measure. Though he has avoided exposing himself on most political issues, Wheeler loathes and detests corruption. The only other issue which Wheeler feels particularly strong about is civil rights. Rallying behind the image of Lincoln, Wheeler has declared that, “every man… of whatever race or color, or however poor… is entitled to full employment of ever right appertaining to the most exalted citizenship.” The United States should make every effort to protect the newly enfranchised freedmen. Wheeler is also an advocate of hard-currency and supports the use of the gold standard.


DEMOCRATIC PARTY NOMINEES:


Presidential Nominee: Samuel J. Tilden
  • Party Affiliation: Democratic Party
  • Home State: New York
  • Notable Positions: Governor of New York, Member of the New York State Assembly
  • Biography: Samuel Tilden was born in New Lebanon, New York as the son of the wealthy Tilden family. Known for their medicinal cannabis, the Tildens have been a prominent part of American life since the early 1800s and have substantial influence across New York. Using these ties, Samuel Tilden secured entry to the prestigious Yale University, before moving onto New York University to study law. Hoping to keep the family business running, he became a skilled corporate lawyer known for his shrewd money management. While managing accounts for prominent officials across the state, including Martin Van Buren, Tilden learned the tax tricks that the rich used to evade the tax collectors and exploit the government. As a part of this work and his close friendship with Martin Van Buren, Tilden ran for the New York State Assembly in 1846 and helped push the state party towards Van Buren’s Free-Soil Faction. Though he had no great love for slavery, Tilden, like many Democrats, considered the Civil War to be a fruitless endeavor and lobbied for Lincoln to pursue peace with the slaveholding states. His personal opposition to slavery and his reputation for integrity helped ensure his political survival after the war. As one of the last Democrats of any prominence left, Tilden has led the movement to redefine the Democratic Party. No longer satisfied with being the party of slaveholders, Tilden has tried to transform the party to one of good government and anti-corruption. To prove this point, he personally destroyed the Tweed Ring in New York City and, as Governor of New York, prosecuted members of both parties who were caught overcharging the state for maintenance and construction.
  • Platform: Samuel J. Tilden promises a break from decades of Republican corruption in favor of extensive reform. How Tilden plans to accomplish that reform, however, is a matter of dispute. Though Tilden has railed against the excessive corruption in Grant’s administration, the excesses of Reconstruction, and the questionable sales of public land, the Democratic stance on most prominent issue of the election, monetary policy, is a matter for debate. Throughout his career, Tilden has been a “hard-money” advocate, a believer that gold will eventually stabilize the economy. Meanwhile, Tilden has accepted a platform that explicitly calls for “soft-money” reforms, reforms which would expand the amount of money in circulation. Though Tilden has been quiet on the issue himself, as it is not appropriate for a Presidential candidate to campaign, his running mate has equivocated on the issue and painted Tilden as being on both sides of the argument. Further complicating matters is Tilden’s approach to tariffs, which he considers to be gross “masterpieces of injustice, inequality, and false pretense, which yields a dwindling… revenue [and] has impoverished many industries.”

    Though the voters care about the economy, Tilden’s personal concern is for the rampant corruption in the federal government. As one of the country’s leading advocates against patronage, Tilden has been horrified by the outright theft of government money. He has proposed a complete overhaul of the civil service system, similar to reforms he instituted in New York, wherein a committee would review each office and abolish those that were deemed unnecessary or exploitative. He would then institute a “common standard” for all offices to ensure that each appointee is qualified. Most surprisingly, Tilden has promised to fire every single high-ranking official appointed by the Republican Party over the last eight years to stop the endless cycle of corruption. Tilden also hopes to bring these reforms to the West, where he believes that public lands have been sold to railroad companies at the expense of settlers. Tilden blames the current economic collapse on Grant and his decision to empower speculators. If elected, Tilden will institute restrictions on land sales to ensure that only individuals can purchase lands. He will also open immigration to all Europeans while ensuring that “the Mongolian race of the Chinese Empire” is unable to take American jobs. He has begrudgingly accepted the South’s demands that he include among his campaign planks a promise to end the “the rapacity of carpetbag tyrannies." Tilden himself is relatively unconcerned about black suffrage. Though he is not a Doughface, he considers the issue of civil rights to be minor compared to the wider problem of rampant corruption.


Vice-Presidential Nominee: Thomas A. Hendricks
  • Party Affiliation: Democratic Party
  • Home State: Indiana
  • Notable Positions: Governor of Indiana, United States Senator from Indiana, United States Representative from Indiana, Member of the Indiana Assembly
  • Biography: Thomas A. Hendricks was born in the Ohio Valley on 7 September 1819 to a Mississippi expat. The nephew of William Hendricks, U.S. Representative and later Governor of Indiana, Hendricks was raised to be a Jacksonian Democrat and Presbyterian. He attended the Presbyterian-run Hanover College in Indiana and helped his uncle fulfill minor duties before he went west to study law at another of his uncle’s law schools. He was admitted to the Indiana bar shortly thereafter and established an extremely successful law firm in Shelbyville, Indiana. Seeking to replicate his family’s success, Hendricks jumped into politics by running for the Indiana House of Representatives in 1848. After being elected to Congress in 1850, Hendricks was a key supporter of support of Stephen Douglas’s Missouri Compromise. After the compromise proved to be fundamentally unstable, Hendricks suffered substantially. He was kicked out of office and forced to reinvent himself. He emerged again in 1860 as a Pro-Union Democrat committed to the rights of immigrants and religious minorities. As a result of this reinvention, Hendricks largely managed to avoid the stain of the Civil War and has become increasingly prominent as other Democratic Party officials have disappeared. As the Governor of the all-important swing state of Indiana, the Democrats hope that Hendricks can deliver the state in the upcoming election.
  • Platform: Hendricks has focused his attention on economics and believes that the party’s path to the White House depends on soft money. Though he once supported the gold standard, Hendricks was horrified by the economic collapse that occurred following the Panic of 1873 and has become one of the country’s leading soft-money advocates. Citing the success of the greenbacks during the Civil War, Hendricks believes that inflation and an increased monetary supply is the only way to alleviate the suffering on most farmers. This policy position has horrified monied interests in New York, who fear that their profits will be reduced via inflation. Unfortunately, because of Hendrick’s running mate, Tilden, Hendricks has been forced to moderate his position on money. Though he still believes that soft-money is essential to future prosperity, he is willing to defend Tilden’s pro-gold standard position when asked. Though the two do not agree on money policy, both are in agreement on corruption and have championed the need for major reform. As Governor of Indiana, Hendricks spearheaded major efforts to reduce corruption and promote budgetary stability. Hendricks is also a supporter of temperance measures and supports the use of licensing to reduce the alcohol industry’s stranglehold on American workers. He is an ardent defender of minority groups and has pushed for an open border policy with Europe (though not in China). He dislikes Reconstruction and voted against the Thirteenth, Fourteenth, and Fifteenth Amendments because he feared that these amendments would introduce political instability into the recently reunified country. Previously, Hendricks supported Andrew Johnson’s approach to reintegrating the South and it is likely that he would support similar measures in the future.


GREENBACK PARTY NOMINEES:


Presidential Nominee: Peter Cooper
  • Party Affiliation: Greenback Party
  • Home State: New York
  • Notable Positions: Owner of Canton Iron Works, Co-Founder of the New York, Newfoundland, and London Telegraph Company, Inventor of the Tom Thumb steam locomotive
  • Biography: Peter Cooper is an American industrialist, inventor, and philanthropist. He is the creator of the first American steam locomotive and the founder of the Cooper Union in Manhattan, New York City. Born in New York’s Dutch community, Cooper’s childhood allowed him to tinker with a seemingly endless array of tools. At different points, he worked as a coachmaker’s apprentice, a cabinet maker, a hatmaker, a brewer, a grocer, a weaver, and a glue maker. In 1817, he approached De Witt Clinton himself to propose an invention for use in the Erie Canal: an endless chain that could be used to pull boats. Though Clinton was delighted by the proposal, Cooper was unable to sell the device or secure any investors. Despite this setback, Cooper’s other initiatives proved successful and by 1823 he became the nation’s premier manufacturer of glues and cements. In 1830, he used his profits to develop the Tom Thumb steam locomotive, which earned him national praise and admiration and helped make him one of the richest men in New York City. Though he continued to run his businesses, Cooper became increasingly active in the anti-slavery and Indian reform movements into the 1840s. After Grant restricted the monetary supply, Cooper warned that economic catastrophe was on the horizon.
  • Platform: Cooper has gained support as a reaction against the corrupt two-party system and their self-enriching monetary policies. Breaking from established economic thought, Cooper has called for the United States to move off the gold standard and debt-based bank currency system and instead embrace a credit-based, government-issued paper currency system. Cooper points to the success of the “Greenbacks” issued by the Treasury during the Civil War, as an example of a successful, mostly fiat money system. Cooper believes that once his non-gold-backed notes are issued, the expanded money supply will help restore the economy. Though Cooper considers himself an agrarian man and has avoided campaigning on any issue not related to the fiat money system, he is surprisingly popular with the urban poor, who believe that his monetary policy will raise their salaries and make debts easier to pay. Cooper is known to be sympathetic with the Native Americans and is responsible for the creation of the Board of Indian Commissioners. He is believed to be in favor of major reforms to current labor laws.


Vice-Presidential Nominee: Samuel Fenton Cary
  • Party Affiliation: Greenback Party
  • Home State: Ohio
  • Notable Positions: United States Representative from Ohio
  • Biography: Cary is one of the country’s leading prohibitionists and a prominent reformer. Cary was born in Cincinnati, Ohio, where he established a successful law firm and was elected a judge in the Ohio Supreme Court. After 1845, however, Cary abruptly disbanded his legal practice and moved to the countryside so that he could pursue the more noble profession of farming. From his small farm, Cary became a prominent voice within the temperance and abolitionist movements. He was a pro-Lincoln delegate at the Republican National Convention in 1864 and, in 1867, was elected to Congress as an Independent Republican. He was one of the few Republicans in Congress to vote against the impeachment of Andrew Jackson, a decision he paid dearly for. Cary subsequently lost re-election, lost support of Ohio’s Republican Party, and would subsequently lose his race for Lieutenant Governor under Rutherford B. Hayes. Since his electoral defeats, Cary has resigned himself to an early retirement. He spends most of his days writing and supporting fellow prohibitionists.
  • Platform: As a farmer himself, Cary has fully endorsed Cooper’s proposal for a fiat currency, believing that it is the only way to save poor farmers who have been trapped by massive debt. Unlike Cooper, Cary is also an avid prohibitionist who views alcohol as a tool of the wealthy elite to ensnare the poor. Cary supports the gradual outlawing of alcohol distribution and production and wants to ensure that each state outlaws alcohol in their constitution. Socially, Cary supports efforts to protect former slaves but dislikes the extreme measures used by some Republicans to achieve those ends. Cary opposed the impeachment of Andrew Johnson and supported his attempts to reintegrate former Confederate leaders into the United States. Cary supports an eight-hour work day and wants to institute labor laws to protect the working poor.


PROHIBITION PARTY NOMINEES:


Presidential Nominee: Green Clay Smith
  • Party Affiliation: Prohibition Party
  • Home State: Kentucky
  • Notable Positions: Territorial Governor of Montana, United States Representative from Kentucky, Major General in the Union Army
  • Biography: Green Clay Smith belongs to a prominent planter family from Kentucky. As a child, Smith was frequently exposed to politics. His grandfather, Green Clay, was one of the wealthiest planters in the state. His father and brothers served office in Kentucky state politics. Hoping to replicate his family’s successes, Smith enlisted in the U.S. Army and served in the Mexican-American War. When he returned, Smith was quickly able to pass the bar and make in-roads with the state Democratic Party. Though his family had been prominent slaveowners, Smith viciously opposed the growing talks of secession and joined Union forces shortly after Lincoln’s election. He advanced to the the rank of major general before resigning from his post, believing that others could better fight against the South. In 1862, Smith was nominated by the Unionist Party for Congress. There, he served as the chairman of the Committee on the Militia. His administrative successes and Southern ties subsequently led President Johnson to appoint Smith as the Territorial Governor of Montana. Smith’s work largely consisted of mediating negotiations between American settlers and the natives who occupied the territory. While serving in this position, Smith had a revelation, resigned his post, and became ordained a Baptist Minister. He has since devoted his life to promoting religion and temperance across the American continent.
  • Platform: As one might expect, Smith’s main focus is to ensure to national prohibition of alcohol and to make its manufacture a high crime. To accomplish this task, Smith proposes an unrepealable constitutional amendment that will prohibit the import and export of all alcoholic beverages. In keeping with this reformist platform, Smith has demanded other major social reforms that will ensure American success and the preservation of its Christian values. After passing restrictions on alcohol, Smith hopes to institute a national prohibition on all lotteries and gambling. He believes these institutions to be inherently regressive and an unfair drain on the poorest of citizens. Further, Smith believes that the criminal justice system has become needlessly cruel and unhelpful. As president, Smith will use his executive authority to outlaw “all barbarous modes and instruments of punishment” and institute punishments intended to reform criminals. He considers free education to be a natural right and will fight to enshrine this right in every state and national constitution. Believing social class to be an affront to God, Smith wants to eradicate all special privileges on the basis of race, creed, property, or sex and institute equal suffrage for all. He will also institute laws requiring all citizens to recognize the Christian Sabbath and distribute free bibles as a guide for public morality. Smith believes that the current economic crisis is the result of corruption and greed. He has proposed transforming the telegraphs and railroads, which have fueled the current crisis, into public utilities, while restricting all future land grants to settlers, effectively prohibiting companies from buying large parts of the American West. He also wants to institute strict restrictions on the salaries of federal officials and tie it to the salaries of the working man, so federal officials can feel just as much financial pressure of their constituents.


Vice-Presidential Nominee: Gideon T. Stewart
  • Party Affiliation: Prohibition Party
  • Home State: Ohio
  • Notable Positions: Grand Worthy Chief Templar of the Good Templars of Ohio
  • Biography: Gideon Tabor Stewart is an American lawyer and newspaper owner. Stewart was born at Johnstown, New York and studied at Oberlin College. As he pursued legal training, he worked under future Supreme Court Justice Noah Haynes Swayne and was later admitted to the bar in Ohio. Though he did not serve during the American Civil War, he published Union newspapers in Iowa and Ohio to support the Unionist cause. He has since transformed these publications into Prohibition Party periodicals. He writes extensively on prohibition and its relationship to the former abolition movement.
  • Platform: Stewart believes that the national prohibition of alcohol, whether it be through an amendment or otherwise, is a national imperative. Over the last few years, alcohol has contributed to the general decline of man and the continuation of the current economic crisis. According to Stewart, intoxicating beverages have made the working man “slaves” through their alcoholism. And it is only through systematic reform can these “slaves” be “emancipated” from their bondage. Alcohol contributes nothing to society and merely serves as a way for monied interests to benefit off the misery of the least fortunate. It makes men willing to beat their families and it enables criminal organizations to gain followers. Though Stewart holds many of the same reformist views as his running mate, he believes that the prohibition of alcohol must be the focus of his candidacy. It would not make sense for the Prohibition Party to focus on anything but the prohibition of alcohol until they are able to achieve their goal.

QuoProQuid has issued a correction as of 21:24 on May 1, 2016

Empress Theonora
Feb 19, 2001

She was a sword glinting in the depths of night, a lance of light piercing the darkness. There would be no mistakes this time.
The historical Hayes sold out Reconstruction to win the election so gently caress him.

Not really sure who else to vote for, though.

QuoProQuid
Jan 12, 2012

Tr*ckin' and F*ckin' all the way to tha
T O P

Empress Theonora posted:

The historical Hayes sold out Reconstruction to win the election so gently caress him.

Not really sure who else to vote for, though.

Have you considered the totally-not-racist, Let's-forget-the-Civil-War-ever-happened, Democratic Party?

Or maybe you could go Prohibition if want an egalitarian Christian theocracy?

The Greenbacks are okay on their single issue.

Takanago
Jun 2, 2007

You'll see...

QuoProQuid posted:


Presidential Nominee: Peter Cooper[list]
Party Affiliation: Greenback Party
:eyepop: Look at that beard.

I'm all for Fiat Currency and the general attitudes of the Greenbacks, but I also really like the "gently caress the class divide" attitude of the prohibitionists. ...Not the moralism, though, and that's a pretty central thing.

I guess this is a choice between people that are pretty alright all around, or some guys that are hella cool in some ways but pretty bad in others.

I think the goony facial hair might be a tie-breaker for me

Ibogaine
Aug 11, 2015
I can't decide. I am torn between Green Clay Smith's social ideas and Peter Cooper's fabulous beard. I guess Cooper only supports greenbacks because he just knows how awesome he would look on a bill.

Lord Cyrahzax
Oct 11, 2012

Going Greenbacks. I may just be sniffing (Cooper-made) glue, but this is a man who not only wants to rebuild our shattered economy from the bottom up, not only has a workable plan on how to do it, but also plans on doing it without establishing a theocracy.

Plus, he and his VP also have the best hair out of all the candidates, and if that's not trustworthy, I don't know what is.

Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.

This is the first slate of candidates where I have no clue who I want to vote for after finishing the post. None of them seem very good.

Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold
full communism now and a book of free rolling papers for every citizen? green's got my vote

Ibogaine
Aug 11, 2015

Lord Cyrahzax posted:

Plus, he and his VP also have the best hair out of all the candidates, and if that's not trustworthy, I don't know what is.

Their combined haircut/beard combo would probably be utterly awe inspiring.

Takanago
Jun 2, 2007

You'll see...

Ibogaine posted:

I guess Cooper only supports greenbacks because he just knows how awesome he would look on a bill.

Here's a preview of what that might look like

QuoProQuid
Jan 12, 2012

Tr*ckin' and F*ckin' all the way to tha
T O P

If elected, Peter Cooper would be the oldest President in American history. At 85, he's already the oldest person to ever be nominated for election.


Takanago posted:

Here's a preview of what that might look like



Cooper had a really nice signature.

Lycus
Aug 5, 2008

Half the posters in this forum have been made up. This website is a goddamn ghost town.
gently caress the gold standard.

oystertoadfish
Jun 17, 2003

that's an interesting set of people. aside from his beard, is cooper for the greenbacks wearing glasses with two extra panes for his peripheral vision? drat.

i really don't know what to think, i might just vote greenback since their platform is kind of fun and they have the Look

edit: voted greenback and i cant quite tell what to make of the excellent political cartoon featured on the voting page:


i guess it's saying hard and soft money politicians are just going to steal your money anyway, featuring a much more interesting depiction of horseshoe theory than the usual?

oystertoadfish has issued a correction as of 21:46 on May 1, 2016

Savidudeosoo
Feb 12, 2016

Pelican, a Bag Man
Man, I want to vote for Smith. I really do. But his Ultra-Religious standpoints and (perhaps most importantly) prohibitionist leanings just kill the hype for me.

Guess I'll vote for the home team and go with Hayes. I went to his house once when I was a kid, so I feel a bit of a connection there.

Empress Theonora
Feb 19, 2001

She was a sword glinting in the depths of night, a lance of light piercing the darkness. There would be no mistakes this time.
I've decided to vote for the Greenbacks solely on the basis of Cooper's incredible beard. And I mean solely; I haven't even read his platform.

Nckdictator
Sep 8, 2006
Just..someone

Rutherford B Hayes posted:


"How to distribute more equally the property of our country is a question we (Theodore Clapp and I) considered yesterday. We ought not to allow a permanent aristocracy of inherited wealth to grow up in our country. How would it answer to limit the amount that could be left to any one person by will or otherwise? What should be the limit? Let no one receive from another more than the law gives to the chief justice, to the general of the Army, or to the president of the Senate. Let the income of the property transmitted equal this, say $10,000 to $20,000. If after distributing on this principle there remains undistributed part of the estate, let it go to the public. The object is to secure a distribution of great estates to prevent accumulation...

... At Father Hannan's St. Patrick's Institute last evening. I spoke of the danger from riches in a few hands, and the poverty of the masses. The capital and labor question. General Comly regards the speech as important. My point is that free government cannot long endure if property is largely in a few hands and large masses of the people are unable to earn homes, education, and a support in old age...

Am I mistaken in thinking that we are drawing near the time when we must decide to limit and control great wealth, corporations, and the like, or resort to a strong military government?...Shall the railroads govern the country, or shall the people govern the railroads? Shall the interest of railroad kings be chiefly regarded, or shall the interest of the people be paramount?

...The real difficulty is with the vast wealth and power in the hands of the few and the unscrupulous who represent or control capital. Hundreds of laws of Congress and the state legislatures are in the interest of these men and against the interests of workingmen. These need to be exposed and repealed. All laws on corporations, on taxation, on trusts, wills, descent, and the like, need examination and extensive change. This is a government of the people, by the people, and for the people no longer. It is a government of corporations, by corporations, and for corporations. — How is this?

...In church it occurred to me that it is time for the public to hear that the giant evil and danger in this country, the danger which transcends all others, is the vast wealth owned or controlled by a few persons. Money is power. In Congress, in state legislatures, in city councils, in the courts, in the political conventions, in the press, in the pulpit, in the circles of the educated and the talented its influence is growing greater and greater. Excessive wealth in the hands of the few means extreme poverty, ignorance, vice, and wretchedness as the lot of the many. It is not yet time to debate about the remedy..."


Rutherford B(ernie Sanders) Hayes?

Nckdictator has issued a correction as of 21:57 on May 1, 2016

QuoProQuid
Jan 12, 2012

Tr*ckin' and F*ckin' all the way to tha
T O P

oystertoadfish posted:

that's an interesting set of people. aside from his beard, is cooper for the greenbacks wearing glasses with two extra panes for his peripheral vision? drat.

i really don't know what to think, i might just vote greenback since their platform is kind of fun and they have the Look

edit: voted greenback and i cant quite tell what to make of the excellent political cartoon featured on the voting page:


i guess it's saying hard and soft money politicians are just going to steal your money anyway, featuring a much more interesting depiction of horseshoe theory than the usual?

The cartoon is satirizing the Democratic Party's approach to monetary policy. During the Convention, the biggest issue for debate was whether to endorse hard-money policy, the gold standard, or soft-money policy, greenbacks. The Democratic "solution" was to nominate a hard-money advocate, Tilden, and add a soft-money advocate as his running mate, Hendricks. The title of the cartoon refers to Tilden's convoluted attempt to make the ticket acceptable to both factions. In his acceptance speech, he promised to repeal the fixed date on specie payments on Civil War bonds, which the soft-money advocates saw as a necessary first step in inflating the currency but would really have little impact by itself.

As you can imagine, the race got really confusing as Tilden, a hard-money advocate, started giving speeches that seemed to vaguely endorse soft-money policies while Hendricks, a soft money advocate, was forced to explain the virtues of his running mate's hard-money views. The more either candidate spoke on the issue, the more confused their stance became.

Ibogaine
Aug 11, 2015

Takanago posted:

Here's a preview of what that might look like



Alright, I'm sold! Cooper/Cary in '76!

edit: Incidentally, I just checked out his wikipedia page: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Cooper

Turns out, he was pretty cool.

quote:

Cooper's efforts led to the formation of the Board of Indian Commissioners, which oversaw Ulysses S. Grant's Peace Policy. Between 1870 and 1875, Cooper sponsored Indian delegations to Washington, D.C., New York City, and other Eastern cities. These delegations met with Indian rights advocates and addressed the public on United States Indian policy. Speakers included: Red Cloud, Little Raven, and Alfred B. Meacham and a delegation of Modoc and Klamath Indians.

And he had been active in the anti slavery movement and supported free schools, as well.

Ibogaine has issued a correction as of 22:39 on May 1, 2016

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS

The Democratic ticket posted:

He dislikes Reconstruction and voted against the Thirteenth, Fourteenth, and Fifteenth Amendments

gently caress that.

The Prohibition ticket posted:

Believing social class to be an affront to God, Smith wants to eradicate all special privileges on the basis of race, creed, property, or sex and institute equal suffrage for all.

Sounds goo—

quote:

He will also institute laws requiring all citizens to recognize the Christian Sabbath and distribute free bibles as a guide for public morality.

gently caress.

His running mate’s “It would not make sense for the Prohibition Party to focus on anything but the prohibition of alcohol until they are able to achieve their goal” is the relish on a poo poo sandwich.

The Pro Party was tempting in earlier elections, but they’ve gone off the rails now. The Greenback Party has taken the mantle of “single issue party that’s shockingly progressive on other issues”, and their single issue is a better one anyway.

Voting for the literal neckbeard.

Discendo Vox
Mar 21, 2013

We don't need to have that dialogue because it's obvious, trivial, and has already been had a thousand times.

QuoProQuid posted:

Unfortunately, Grant would soon be overtaken by economic calamity.

...Grant suddenly decreased the country’s money supply by putting the United States on a de facto gold standard.

Violent strikes by unemployed workers were reportedly happening on a daily basis.
Alcohol consumption skyrocketed
.
The United States, as well as the entire world economy, would remain trapped in a deep recession for almost a decade.

As many Americans were reduced to abject poverty, reports continued to swirl about rampant corruption within the Grant Administration. Despite promises to clean up his administration, Grant had unceremoniously reappointed all his former cabinet officials. These officials immediately set to work stealing as much money as they could manage.



Oh, if only you had elected James Black! Bimetallism would have solved your economic woes, Black's firm anticorruption stance would have prevented the profligate fraud and crime of the Grant administration, and incremental restrictions on alcohol would have slowly weaned the nation of its reliance on the Devil's Juice. Plus, y'know, universal enfranchisement. That too.

Oh well, I guess we'll be stuck with the crazy fringe prohibitionist movement from now on. Well done, Goonmerica. You get the nation you deserve.

QuoProQuid
Jan 12, 2012

Tr*ckin' and F*ckin' all the way to tha
T O P

Map of the United State of Goonmerica:



Platystemon posted:

gently caress.

His running mate’s “It would not make sense for the Prohibition Party to focus on anything but the prohibition of alcohol until they are able to achieve their goal” is the relish on a poo poo sandwich.

The Pro Party was tempting in earlier elections, but they’ve gone off the rails now. The Greenback Party has taken the mantle of “single issue party that’s shockingly progressive on other issues”, and their single issue is a better one anyway.

Voting for the literal neckbeard.

It's probably worth keeping in mind that, at this point, the radicals are Christian theocrats. The abolitionism movement was run by radical Christian activists. The women's suffrage movement is spearheaded by Christian reformers. Temperance is seen as a Christian virtue.

As we get closer to Bryan, we'll see increasing amounts of religious rhetoric.

QuoProQuid has issued a correction as of 01:38 on May 2, 2016

Andorra
Dec 12, 2012
None of the other candidates care about reconstruction, so I'm voting for Hayes who in the past has supported the rights of blacks. May this be yet another fair election in our wonderful Goon States of America.

axeil
Feb 14, 2006
Greenbacks are the only good choice here, given that Hayes ended Reconstruction, the Democrats still refuse to admit they're the party of the traitors and the Prohibitionists want to get rid of booze.

Octatonic
Sep 7, 2010

The prohibitionists are great, because we get to see the goon kneejerk "full communism now" response put up against the goon kneejerk "gently caress religion" response. :rubshands:

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS

Octatonic posted:

The prohibitionists are great, because we get to see the goon kneejerk "full communism now" response put up against the goon kneejerk "gently caress religion" response. :rubshands:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J67wKhddWu4

Acebuckeye13
Nov 2, 2010
Ultra Carp

QuoProQuid posted:

Map of the United State of Goonmerica:



Not if the secessionist Adams County has its way! :freep:

i say swears online
Mar 4, 2005

Fiat money owns, vote Greenback

GlyphGryph
Jun 23, 2013

Down came the glitches and burned us in ditches and we slept after eating our dead.
What this thread has taught me was that Grant was one of the shittiest US Presidents in a long line of US Presidents. I can't believe you assholes voted this crook in for a second term.

SpRahl
Apr 22, 2008

GlyphGryph posted:

What this thread has taught me was that Grant was one of the shittiest US Presidents in a long line of US Presidents. I can't believe you assholes voted this crook in for a second term.

Nah Grant was a pretty cool dude in all honesty. Also the shittest president was Buchanan.

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS
Grant was great.

The people he surrounded himself with were lovely, but not quite as lovely as all the people running against him.

Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold

GlyphGryph posted:

What this thread has taught me was that Grant was one of the shittiest US Presidents in a long line of US Presidents. I can't believe you assholes voted this crook in for a second term.

i'm sorry i must be reading something wrong because US grant is actually a top 5 president in a list that includes william henry harrison

Acebuckeye13
Nov 2, 2010
Ultra Carp

GlyphGryph posted:

What this thread has taught me was that Grant was one of the shittiest US Presidents in a long line of US Presidents. I can't believe you assholes voted this crook in for a second term.

Grant wasn't great and his administration was incredibly corrupt, but he was also deadly serious about Reconstruction and maintaining the Federal occupation of the South. For that alone he's probably in the upper-tier of American Presidents, at least when it comes to race relations.

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Cthulhu Dreams
Dec 11, 2010

If I pretend to be Cthulhu no one will know I'm a baseball robot.

Platystemon posted:

Voting for the literal neckbeard.

Given the candidates background, I think the traditional form of this expression is "Cooper!" *slams telegraph*

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