ASoIaF: A Song of Ice and Fire: George Rail Road Martin

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MG3: Mar 29, 2016

RC Cola posted:

Someone spoil the episode for me with no spoilers. You loving mild cards

Hodor

# ? May 23, 2016 00:53

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# ? May 18, 2024 22:21

Sally: Jan 9, 2007; Don't post Small Dash!

RC Cola posted:

Someone spoil the episode for me with no spoilers. You loving mild cards

Littlefinger teleports to Sansa and apologizes. He offers her the Vale's army to retake Winterfell, but she insults him and tells him to gently caress off.
Sansa instead decides to use info gained from Littlefinger to go find her uncle, The Blackfish, because he reformed the Riverlands' army and is now kicking rear end.
Brienne doesn't trust anyone at The Wall, except Jon, maybe, but she thinks he's a massive brood-lord.
Jon Snow leaves to unite the smaller houses against the Boltons, Karstarks, and Umbers. Manderlys get name dropped again as one of the big three.
Arya watches a play recreating the death of Robert Baratheon and Ned Stark because she has to assassinate one of the actresses. She has second thoughts and the Faceless Men question her loyalty.
Kingsmoot happens. Theon calls for Yara to be leader, but Euron shows up and reveals his plan to take the Iron Fleet to ally with Danaerys. This wins him the election. Euron gets "drowned" and crowned the king. He goes to kill off Yara and Theon, but they escape with all the loyal Iron Born bannermen and take the best ships.
Tyrion gets a Red Priestess to help garner more support for Danaerys. Since his offer to the slavelords, there have been no killings from Sons of the Harpy. Varys mocks the Red Priestess and she insults him back.
Bran watches a flashback of the Children of the Forest creating the first White Walker by jamming a rock into his chest. Bran is horrified, Children of the Forest justify it as necessary to fight off the Andals.
Bran watches another flashback with baby Ned leaving for the Vale.
Bran watches ANOTHER flashback, maybe, with an army of Wights and White Walkers. They can see him and he freaks out. The Night King touches him, marking him. The Three Eyed Ravens warns him that now the Night King knows where they are and is coming.
Meera is packing up to leave when the White Walkers attack. All the Children of the Forest die--one sacrifices themselves by pulling the pin on a magic grenade and letting hordes of Wights swarm over them like in zombie movies so that when they explode a whole bunch die. It's pretty formulaic.
Bloodraven dies while Bran is in yet another flashback--the same one where Young Hodor is cleaning saddles. Meera shouts at Bran to warg into Hodor from beyond the Green Dream and he does. They escape and then Bran uses the Warged Hodor to "Hold The Door". In the Green Dream, Young Hodor seems to be aware of both realities. At the moment of his adult death, he goes into a seizure and starts screaming "hold the door" again and again until is degrades into "Hodor".
Episode ends with Meera dragging a flashingbacking/warged Bran into a blizzard.

# ? May 23, 2016 01:01

RC Cola: Aug 1, 2011; Dovie'andi se tovya sagain

Blind Sally posted:

Littlefinger teleports to Sansa and apologizes. He offers her the Vale's army to retake Winterfell, but she insults him and tells him to gently caress off.

Sansa instead decides to use info gained from Littlefinger to go find her uncle, The Blackfish, because he reformed the Riverlands' army and is now kicking rear end.

Brienne doesn't trust anyone at The Wall, except Jon, maybe, but she thinks he's a massive brood-lord.

Jon Snow leaves to unite the smaller houses against the Boltons, Karstarks, and Umbers. Manderlys get name dropped again as one of the big three.

Arya watches a play recreating the death of Robert Baratheon and Ned Stark because she has to assassinate one of the actresses. She has second thoughts and the Faceless Men question her loyalty.

Kingsmoot happens. Theon calls for Yara to be leader, but Euron shows up and reveals his plan to take the Iron Fleet to ally with Danaerys. This wins him the election. Euron gets "drowned" and crowned the king. He goes to kill off Yara and Theon, but they escape with all the loyal Iron Born bannermen and take the best ships.

Tyrion gets a Red Priestess to help garner more support for Danaerys. Since his offer to the slavelords, there have been no killings from Sons of the Harpy. Varys mocks the Red Priestess and she insults him back.

Bran watches a flashback of the Children of the Forest creating the first White Walker by jamming a rock into his chest. Bran is horrified, Children of the Forest justify it as necessary to fight off the Andals.

Bran watches another flashback with baby Ned leaving for the Vale.

Bran watches ANOTHER flashback, maybe, with an army of Wights and White Walkers. They can see him and he freaks out. The Night King touches him, marking him. The Three Eyed Ravens warns him that now the Night King knows where they are and is coming.

Meera is packing up to leave when the White Walkers attack. All the Children of the Forest die--one sacrifices themselves by pulling the pin on a magic grenade and letting hordes of Wights swarm over them like in zombie movies so that when they explode a whole bunch die. It's pretty formulaic.

Bloodraven dies while Bran is in yet another flashback--the same one where Young Hodor is cleaning saddles. Meera shouts at Bran to warg into Hodor from beyond the Green Dream and he does. They escape and then Bran uses the Warged Hodor to "Hold The Door". In the Green Dream, Young Hodor seems to be aware of both realities. At the moment of his adult death, he goes into a seizure and starts screaming "hold the door" again and again until is degrades into "Hodor".

Episode ends with Meera dragging a flashingbacking/warged Bran into a blizzard.

Thanks. Now I can play uncharted instead of watching that poo poo

# ? May 23, 2016 01:05

Shimrra Jamaane: Aug 10, 2007; Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

I love how noone gives a gently caress about kinslaying anymore. Even when it's their liege lord.

# ? May 23, 2016 01:10

boom boom boom: Jun 28, 2012; by Shine

I'm halfway through the first book, The Game of Thrones. If there was a chart of my enjoyment of this book, every Danerrys chapter would be a loving bottomless trench. I don't care about the 1314 year old girl getting slammed by her husband, I don't care about the underwater basket weaving techniques of the Noble Savage Dothraki.

Please tell me she either dies or at the very least gets involved in the actual dang plot really soon.

# ? May 23, 2016 01:19

Kavak: Aug 23, 2009

boom boom boom posted:

Please tell me she either dies or at the very least gets involved in the actual dang plot really soon.

Oh my sweet summer child...

# ? May 23, 2016 01:24

jsoh: Mar 24, 2007; O Muhammad, I seek your intercession with my Lord for the return of my eyesight

boom boom boom posted:

I'm halfway through the first book, The Game of Thrones. If there was a chart of my enjoyment of this book, every Danerrys chapter would be a loving bottomless trench. I don't care about the 1314 year old girl getting slammed by her husband, I don't care about the underwater basket weaving techniques of the Noble Savage Dothraki.

Please tell me she either dies or at the very least gets involved in the actual dang plot really soon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmKhGqWcJGY

# ? May 23, 2016 01:43

kcroy: May 30, 2002; by Nyc_Tattoo

boom boom boom posted:

I'm halfway through the first book, The Game of Thrones. If there was a chart of my enjoyment of this book, every Danerrys chapter would be a loving bottomless trench. I don't care about the 1314 year old girl getting slammed by her husband, I don't care about the underwater basket weaving techniques of the Noble Savage Dothraki.

Please tell me she either dies or at the very least gets involved in the actual dang plot really soon.

No, she hatches some dragon eggs using blood magic after her first born child and husband die. She leads the remaining people to another city where they pull a trick, gain an army and take over the city. She then fucks around in Essos ( that side of the world ) and has all kinds of lovely adventures. As of the most recent book ( and TV show ) she is still in Essos. Her supposed Trip to conquer Westeros has not happened, and arguably never will. FWIW I hated the Dany chapters the first read through, but enjoyed them more on future re-reads. The dragons are a bit of a wildcard - she can't really control them and they are on the edge of going rogue the whole time.

# ? May 23, 2016 01:52

boom boom boom: Jun 28, 2012; by Shine

jsoh posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmKhGqWcJGY

"The more she drank the more she shat"

Man, I have been there

# ? May 23, 2016 01:59

davecrazy: Nov 25, 2004; I'm an insufferable shitposter who does not deserve to root for such a good team. Also, this is what Matt Harvey thinks of me and my garbage posting.

Wood Elves are supposed to be kindly wise tree hugers with an innate connection to nature and whatever. Renowed for their wisdom and mystic arts. Well what if they were also responsible for the worst monster that exists in the universe by intentionally creating it? You feel that fantasy trope? You've been SUBVERTED. GRRM'D!

# ? May 23, 2016 02:05

Shimrra Jamaane: Aug 10, 2007; Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

davecrazy posted:

Wood Elves are supposed to be kindly wise tree hugers with an innate connection to nature and whatever. Renowed for their wisdom and mystic arts. Well what if they were also responsible for the worst monster that exists in the universe by intentionally creating it? You feel that fantasy trope? You've been SUBVERTED. GRRM'D!

We need to find out if GRRM has friends working at Bioware.

# ? May 23, 2016 02:37

Number Ten Cocks: Feb 25, 2016; by zen death robot

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

We need to find out if GRRM has friends working at Bioware.

If that's what you call dudes who pitch you Wildcards stories.

# ? May 23, 2016 02:39

boom boom boom: Jun 28, 2012; by Shine

Here's another question. Why are rapists in The Game of Thrones called rapers?

Is it because they're like, a ~fantasy~ version of rapists?

# ? May 23, 2016 02:42

jsoh: Mar 24, 2007; O Muhammad, I seek your intercession with my Lord for the return of my eyesight

boom boom boom posted:

Here's another question. Why are rapists in The Game of Thrones called rapers?

Is it because they're like, a ~fantasy~ version of rapists?

ser serjent jape

# ? May 23, 2016 02:50

jsoh: Mar 24, 2007; O Muhammad, I seek your intercession with my Lord for the return of my eyesight

mummers

# ? May 23, 2016 02:50

jsoh: Mar 24, 2007; O Muhammad, I seek your intercession with my Lord for the return of my eyesight

davecrazy posted:

Wood Elves are supposed to be kindly wise tree hugers with an innate connection to nature and whatever. Renowed for their wisdom and mystic arts. Well what if they were also responsible for the worst monster that exists in the universe by intentionally creating it? You feel that fantasy trope? You've been SUBVERTED. GRRM'D!

the best wood elves are the elder scrolls wood elves where they are fanatically against doing any damage to trees or plants so they eat exclusively meat and are cannibals and kill everyone who comes into their territory

# ? May 23, 2016 02:51

davecrazy: Nov 25, 2004; I'm an insufferable shitposter who does not deserve to root for such a good team. Also, this is what Matt Harvey thinks of me and my garbage posting.

GRRM elves best elves. Immortal. Short sighted.

# ? May 23, 2016 02:54

IRQ: Sep 9, 2001; SUCK A DICK, DUMBSHITS!

oh man those lovely lovely spoilers were true. Hodor was supposed to hold the door all a loving long.

gently caress Grum and gently caress this show lmao

# ? May 23, 2016 03:05

Dirt: May 26, 2003

I went to reddit to see how people were reacting. Literally saw like ten people saying hodor deserves any Emmy nomination.

People seem to love it.

Also so many minds blown by "Summer died because winter has come!!"...

My initial reaction to this episode was basically "this is loving retarded".

# ? May 23, 2016 03:12

Shimrra Jamaane: Aug 10, 2007; Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

Linguica posted:

lol the behind the scenes featurette has D&D confirming that the night king is "absolute evil" so I expect a whole lot of bitching and moaning coming soon

e: hahaah D&D SAYS HODOR IS CANON

HODOR IS GRRM CANON AAAAAAHAHAHA

# ? May 23, 2016 03:13

The Ninth Layer: Jun 20, 2007

Hold the door. Hold the door. Hold the door. Hold the door. Hold the door. Hold the door. Hold the door. Hold the door. Hold the door. Hold the door. Hold the door. Hold the door. Hold the door. Hold the door. Hold the door.

# ? May 23, 2016 03:15

Beef Hardcheese: Jan 21, 2003; HOW ABOUT I LASH YOUR SHIT

nuncles and neeps

# ? May 23, 2016 03:16

Vanderdeath: Oct 1, 2005; I will confess,
I love this cultured hell that tests my youth.

emanresu tnuocca posted:

I got a feeling gurm intended to be more of a "Huh, I get it" moment rather than a "HOLY poo poo!" moment which is what the show was going for.

Years ago I would've agreed with this but now I've come to accept that the books were always bad and that GRRM's Absolute Fucker status is eternal.

# ? May 23, 2016 03:20

Evil Fluffy: Jul 13, 2009; Scholars are some of the most pompous and pedantic people I've ever had the joy of meeting.

Please changed the thread title to "Hold the Door" repeated as many times as will fit the forums.

Cavelcade posted:

"Hold the door" was dumb, but I thought the scene of him holding the door was good. I'm loving pissed they killed Summer though. Dick off, why do they hate everything cool?

The rest of the episode was very good, I'm looking forward to Sansa, Warrior Princess!

At this point I fully expect the Riverrun scenes to include some background chat among soldiers/hunters about how they killed the massive she wolf causing problems in the area.

Blind Sally posted:

Tyrion gets a Red Priestess to help garner more support for Danaerys. Since his offer to the slavelords, there have been no killings from Sons of the Harpy. Varys mocks the Red Priestess and she insults him back.

This was probably the best scene in the episode. Varus talks down to her and as she replies about his mutilation incident he just gets more and more uncomfortable.

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

I love how noone gives a gently caress about kinslaying anymore. Even when it's their liege lord.

Even if you could excuse the Karstarks due to their overwhelming anger at their father being beheaded (for murdering people Robb explicitly told him not to) there's no reason for the Umbers to want to throw in with the Boltons. In the books they're at least forced to do so since the Greatjohn is still alive and held prisoner, though IIRC a potential heir in the book wants him dead while others of the house are very "gently caress the Boltons but we'll obey for now."

davecrazy posted:

Wood Elves are supposed to be kindly wise tree hugers with an innate connection to nature and whatever. Renowed for their wisdom and mystic arts. Well what if they were also responsible for the worst monster that exists in the universe by intentionally creating it? You feel that fantasy trope? You've been SUBVERTED. GRRM'D!

The elves (Celebrimbor) in Middle Earth are responsible for creating the rings of power with Sauron so "noble elves create horrific means of world destruction" isn't entirely new either.

# ? May 23, 2016 03:41

The Anime Liker: Aug 8, 2009; by VideoGames

So Hodor lost his mind by being intensely focused on holding a door.

So all this time he was an MRA.

# ? May 23, 2016 03:42

Invicta{HOG}, M.D.: Jan 16, 2002

I liked the actual scene but could have done without the hold the door part. I guess if I had read it in the book in a more subtle way it might have gotten a chuckle out of me.

# ? May 23, 2016 03:43

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

A GLISTENING HODOR posted:

So Hodor lost his mind by being intensely focused on holding a door.

So all this time he was an MRA.

# ? May 23, 2016 03:47

jsoh: Mar 24, 2007; O Muhammad, I seek your intercession with my Lord for the return of my eyesight

brans timetravel hodor mindraping created a causality loop because in the book they specifically mention that 1 . the assassin who came after bran and started the war by sending cat south was in the stables and 2. that hodor, stableboy, noticed him and had been acting loving weird since the kings party went south, but couldnt say aynthing but hodor to prevent it.

# ? May 23, 2016 03:49

Voodoo: Jun 3, 2003; m2sbr what

RIP Summer. Why does D&D gotta kill off all the direwolves? It's going to suck rear end when someone finds Nymeria's pelt on a wall or something dumb.

I liked Hodor's finale scene. It was a little hammy sure, but it was a nice reveal that Past Willis got mindfucked into Hodor by Future Bran so he could control Future Willis. Better than Horse Hodor, that's for sure.

# ? May 23, 2016 03:52

Errant Gin Monks: Oct 2, 2009; "Yeah..."
- Marshawn Lynch

Voodoo posted:

RIP Summer. Why does D&D gotta kill off all the direwolves? It's going to suck rear end when someone finds Nymeria's pelt on a wall or something dumb.

I liked Hodor's finale scene. It was a little hammy sure, but it was a nice reveal that Past Willis got mindfucked into Hodor by Future Bran so he could control Future Willis. Better than Horse Hodor, that's for sure.

How big is the pool yet on if GRRM will publish the next book before the series ends in 3 years?

# ? May 23, 2016 03:57

Shimrra Jamaane: Aug 10, 2007; Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

D&D on the creation of the White Walkers

quote:

The Night King was sort of the embodiment of absolute evil. What you're watching is the creation of this absolute evil so the absolute evil isn't absolute after all.

uh...sure

# ? May 23, 2016 03:59

CaptainRightful: Jan 11, 2005

I know having some dude blow on a giant trumpet until his head explodes would be hard to pull off without looking silly, but they need something more than what they showed us to convince people that Euron Crow's Eyes is a badass.

# ? May 23, 2016 04:00

whatever7: Jul 26, 2001; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Errant Gin Monks posted:

How big is the pool yet on if GRRM will publish the next book before the series ends in 3 years?

What's odd of GRRM announcing the publishing date for book 6 but he will need two more book to finish the series at the same time?

# ? May 23, 2016 04:04

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Evil Fluffy posted:

The elves (Celebrimbor) in Middle Earth are responsible for creating the rings of power with Sauron so "noble elves create horrific means of world destruction" isn't entirely new either.

To be fair, Celebrimbor was manipulated into it by Sauron, a fallen angel seeking tools to dominate all life. The rings turning out bad was a design feature :v:

# ? May 23, 2016 04:06

Sally: Jan 9, 2007; Don't post Small Dash!

# ? May 23, 2016 04:49

Sally: Jan 9, 2007; Don't post Small Dash!

overall, I thought the new episode was alright. the last scene was pretty bad, though. the whole white walkers thing and children of the forest and bloodraven and--all this high fantasy poo poo is so schlocky and it feels out of place. like, they kinda tried to make it creepy and scary, but it lacked any of the impact that Hardhome had. also, it has none of the fun Harryhausen sillyness that Johen getting stabbed had. instead, it was just kinda lame. Bloodraven died like a chump (though the effects for his death in the dream were kinda neat), the Children of the Forest died like chumps, and Summer died like a chump. the Hodor scene was the best part, but that feels like I'm damning it with faint praise. i thought someone in the TVIV thread summed it up best when they said it was equal parts "lame and tragic and ominous".

still probably the best episode of the season so far thanks to the lack of all things Danaerys and Dorne. i'm enjoying this season more than the last one.

oh, and I realized what the loving Child of the Forest grenade scene reminded me of: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHjRQJZsUGg

only, you know, not good.

# ? May 23, 2016 04:57

POLICE CAR AUCTION: Dec 1, 2003; I'm not a princess

Blind Sally posted:

Someone post a gif of this, it was loving hilarious

# ? May 23, 2016 05:07

Lycus: Aug 5, 2008; Half the posters in this forum have been made up. This website is a goddamn ghost town.

So was Preston Jacobs right about any of this?

# ? May 23, 2016 05:17

dentist toy box: Oct 9, 2012; There's a haint in the foothills of NC; the haint of the #3 chevy. The rich have formed a holy alliance to exorcise it but they'll never fucking catch him.