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  • Locked thread
Lid
Feb 18, 2005

And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

Bluedeanie posted:

When this thread was posted there were still people around here besides me who liked Johny Hendricks, that's a trip.

I think Punk would've looked as good against Wonderboy.

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That DICK!
Sep 28, 2010

Punk is training to become a UFC fighter

Molestationary Store
May 21, 2007

That DICK! posted:

Punk is training to become a UFC fighter

..for two years.

Lid
Feb 18, 2005

And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

The Singing Chav posted:

..for two years.

And he started at the only camp after AKA known for causing its trainees injuries

(and sharing women)

Aesop Poprock
Oct 21, 2008


Grimey Drawer

Lid posted:

And he started at the only camp after AKA known for causing its trainees injuries

(and sharing women)

Sounds like it's right up his alley

Davros1
Jul 19, 2007

You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible



MassRafTer posted:

And yet people expect CM Punk to become a UFC ready fighter in 18 months. Shame on all of you, some people train a lifetime and don't even become that good. Punk's coming along very quickly!

BGrifter
Mar 16, 2007

Winner of Something Awful PS5 thread's Posting Excellence Award June 2022

Congratulations!

The Singing Chav posted:

..for two years.

I dunno what's taking him so long. It only takes twelve weeks of TV to become The Ultimate Fighter.

Bluedeanie
Jul 20, 2008

It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?



MassRafTer posted:

Bring back Kimbo.

To fully appreciate the time capsule of tragedy this thread has become, this post was from the first page and I don't think MassRafTer or anyone else could have possibly predicted the dire consequences of ironically demanding Kimbo return to fighting at that time.

david carmichael
Oct 28, 2011
Earlier in the thread I claimed that Bautista was a good comparable for punk. Old, injured, new to mma. The major difference is that Bautista picked up bjj and muay Thai relatively quickly because he was very athletic and very strong, even for an old guy. His coaches said he was quite often less skilled than other people at his level, but he could crush them based on strength and athleticism.

Punk is the opposite. He is picking up skills slowly, and also he is weaker and slower than people his size. 1.5 years ago I claimed that punk was considered as a very good white belt by his online sensei, and he was recently revised to be a white belt who was progressing more slowly than normal. After 1.5 years of training full time. That ain't great.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


Bluedeanie posted:

To fully appreciate the time capsule of tragedy this thread has become, this post was from the first page and I don't think MassRafTer or anyone else could have possibly predicted the dire consequences of ironically demanding Kimbo return to fighting at that time.

For those unaware:



oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

david carmichael posted:

Earlier in the thread I claimed that Bautista was a good comparable for punk. Old, injured, new to mma. The major difference is that Bautista picked up bjj and muay Thai relatively quickly because he was very athletic and very strong, even for an old guy. His coaches said he was quite often less skilled than other people at his level, but he could crush them based on strength and athleticism.

Punk is the opposite. He is picking up skills slowly, and also he is weaker and slower than people his size. 1.5 years ago I claimed that punk was considered as a very good white belt by his online sensei, and he was recently revised to be a white belt who was progressing more slowly than normal. After 1.5 years of training full time. That ain't great.

The biggest difference between them is that Batista fought

rare Magic card l00k
Jan 3, 2011


Kimbo vs. Dada 5000 was not dire consequences, it was a gift from the MMA gods letting us know that they love us very much.

Josuke Higashikata
Mar 7, 2013


Dying twice is kind of dire

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


I thought he only technically physically died once

Unless that embarrassment of a fight was a second, metaphorical death

1st AD
Dec 3, 2004

Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu: sometimes passing just isn't an option.

david carmichael posted:

Earlier in the thread I claimed that Bautista was a good comparable for punk. Old, injured, new to mma. The major difference is that Bautista picked up bjj and muay Thai relatively quickly because he was very athletic and very strong, even for an old guy. His coaches said he was quite often less skilled than other people at his level, but he could crush them based on strength and athleticism.

Punk is the opposite. He is picking up skills slowly, and also he is weaker and slower than people his size. 1.5 years ago I claimed that punk was considered as a very good white belt by his online sensei, and he was recently revised to be a white belt who was progressing more slowly than normal. After 1.5 years of training full time. That ain't great.

someone posted earlier that punk was a good athlete. I've only seen like 3 of his matches, but I think that is not true, he is not a good athlete and also he is old and not strong and is bad at BJJ and probably worse at kickboxing.

Josuke Higashikata
Mar 7, 2013


I've never seen him do anything especially athletic in the matches of his I've seen, though I can't say I've seen his life's work. He's not like Cesaro or whatever.

FullLeatherJacket
Dec 30, 2004

Chiunque può essere Luther Blissett, semplicemente adottando il nome Luther Blissett

Chris James 2 posted:

For those unaware:



FIGHTSPORTS

For all the poo poo Punk gets about not being able to learn a professional sport from scratch simply by having a stick up your rear end, though, every time I watch that fight I remember that Kimbo Slice became a pro MMA fighter in the year 2007 and nine years later hadn't developed the rudimentary skills required to finish a fight from mount against a man literally in the process of dying

FullLeatherJacket
Dec 30, 2004

Chiunque può essere Luther Blissett, semplicemente adottando il nome Luther Blissett

david carmichael posted:

Earlier in the thread I claimed that Bautista was a good comparable for punk. Old, injured, new to mma. The major difference is that Bautista picked up bjj and muay Thai relatively quickly because he was very athletic and very strong, even for an old guy. His coaches said he was quite often less skilled than other people at his level, but he could crush them based on strength and athleticism.

"strength and athleticism" is coach code for "he's on, like, Bob Sapp levels of gear, now watch him awkwardly beat up this fat dude"

rare Magic card l00k
Jan 3, 2011


FullLeatherJacket posted:

"strength and athleticism" is coach code for "he's on, like, Bob Sapp levels of gear, now watch him awkwardly beat up this fat dude"

Bob Sapp and Batista are cool, while CM Punk is lame, so this checks out.

bradzilla
Oct 15, 2004

Is there anyone beside cams that still likes Punk at this point? Seems him being a massive bitter baby rear end in a top hat has soured him on a lot of people since he left WWE

rare Magic card l00k
Jan 3, 2011


I like CM Punk, mostly for telling Vince to gently caress off, but I also like making fun of him, which he gives a lot of material for, so I double like him.

Heavy Metal
Sep 1, 2014

America's $1 Funnyman

bradzilla posted:

Is there anyone beside cams that still likes Punk at this point? Seems him being a massive bitter baby rear end in a top hat has soured him on a lot of people since he left WWE

I'm fine with Punk, these people I'm fans of often may be egotastic dicks to some degree irl who knows, he's entertaining. I definitely sided with him on the WWE stuff, his podcast with Cabana was really good. (by sided I mean he sounds in the right, I still buy WWE network etc)

That said, has he been complaining about anything recently? What massive bitter stuff are you talking about?

Heavy Metal fucked around with this message at 18:30 on May 24, 2016

Hace
Feb 13, 2012

<<Mobius 1, Engage.>>
Quick question: Does UFC actually pay Punk's medical bills for getting hurt while training? I thought those were just kinda part of training expenses in a sense.

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
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On top of that, has UFC been paying him a shitload of money for the past two years with nothing to show for it?

1st AD
Dec 3, 2004

Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu: sometimes passing just isn't an option.

Hace posted:

Quick question: Does UFC actually pay Punk's medical bills for getting hurt while training? I thought those were just kinda part of training expenses in a sense.

The UFC has a health insurance policy for every fighter on the roster and cover claims while they're in training.

IcePhoenix
Sep 18, 2005

Take me to your Shida

FullLeatherJacket posted:

FIGHTSPORTS

For all the poo poo Punk gets about not being able to learn a professional sport from scratch simply by having a stick up your rear end, though, every time I watch that fight I remember that Kimbo Slice became a pro MMA fighter in the year 2007 and nine years later hadn't developed the rudimentary skills required to finish a fight from mount against a man literally in the process of dying

I remember watching The Ultimate Fighter where the big deal was that Kimbo was on the show and then someone (was it Nelson?) went after him in like the first episode and kicked his rear end to eliminate him.

Big Coffin Hunter
Aug 13, 2005

bradzilla posted:

Is there anyone beside cams that still likes Punk at this point? Seems him being a massive bitter baby rear end in a top hat has soured him on a lot of people since he left WWE

He's the greatest of all time nerd

Ostentatious
Sep 29, 2010

bradzilla posted:

Is there anyone beside cams that still likes Punk at this point? Seems him being a massive bitter baby rear end in a top hat has soured him on a lot of people since he left WWE

kofi kingston

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


Heavy Metal posted:

I'm fine with Punk, these people I'm fans of often may be egotastic dicks to some degree irl who knows, he's entertaining. I definitely sided with him on the WWE stuff, his podcast with Cabana was really good. (by sided I mean he sounds in the right, I still buy WWE network etc)

Yeah, I still like Punk. Just less so this fighting experiment that progressively seems like it's not going to happen

schweens
Jan 14, 2011

kakarot ain't got shit on me

Big Coffin Hunter posted:

He's the greatest of all time nerd

He's not even as good as john cena, the guy who made him a star

Nystral
Feb 6, 2002

Every man likes a pretty girl with him at a skeleton dance.

1st AD posted:

The UFC has a health insurance policy for every fighter on the roster and cover claims while they're in training.

I always figured most of his medical bills came out of any signing bonus he got when he signed.

Halloween Jack
Sep 12, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 2 hours!
I can't remember, why is Punk a bitter baby rear end in a top hat?

bradzilla
Oct 15, 2004

Halloween Jack posted:

I can't remember, why is Punk a bitter baby rear end in a top hat?

Here's a prime example:
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2614100-cm-punk-hits-out-in-interview-over-switch-from-wwe-to-ufc

He had a temper tantrum because a reporter dared to mention the possible difficulties transitioning from scripted fighting to "real" fighting :qq:

bradzilla fucked around with this message at 18:56 on May 24, 2016

Big Coffin Hunter
Aug 13, 2005

schweens posted:

He's not even as good as john cena, the guy who made him a star

false on both accounts but cena is cool as gently caress too

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002
dear professional wrestling people, you've been missing out

https://streamable.com/l9wk

Tezcatlipoca
Sep 18, 2009

1st AD posted:

The UFC has a health insurance policy for every fighter on the roster and cover claims while they're in training.

I don't remember, don't they have to have a fight scheduled for that to kick in?

Luigi Thirty
Apr 30, 2006

Emergency confection port.

can we trade Jack Swagger for Punk at least he's a collegiate champion wrestler and like 7 feet tall and you can't teach that

Gorn Myson
Aug 8, 2007






bradzilla posted:

Is there anyone beside cams that still likes Punk at this point? Seems him being a massive bitter baby rear end in a top hat has soured him on a lot of people since he left WWE
I still love him. Hes definitely got a personality thats a little abrasive, and I think he'd turn down my invitations to go to a pub, but eh I still respect him for his decision to go into MMA. I think he'll either never compete or if he does he'll get loving ruined, but I still think it takes balls (and a lot of stupid ambition) to get involved in competitive combat at that stage in his life, but gently caress it, at least hes trying despite everything stacked against him.

FullLeatherJacket
Dec 30, 2004

Chiunque può essere Luther Blissett, semplicemente adottando il nome Luther Blissett

Luigi Thirty posted:

can we trade Jack Swagger for Punk at least he's a collegiate champion wrestler and like 7 feet tall and you can't teach that

i guess he'd make a good friend for nick diaz to serve his multi-year marijuana ban with

turns out vince mcmahon is actually smarter than the NSAC when it comes to designing drug tests

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Luigi Thirty
Apr 30, 2006

Emergency confection port.

FullLeatherJacket posted:

i guess he'd make a good friend for nick diaz to serve his multi-year marijuana ban with

turns out vince mcmahon is actually smarter than the NSAC when it comes to designing drug tests

Eric Bischoff was smartest of all

They'd "randomly" drug test ex-wrestlers who were still technically on the roster but worked in the offices in Atlanta

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