Marvel 2017: You can lead a horse to Kung Fu but you can't make him kick.

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > BSS: Bisexual Super Son > Marvel 2017: You can lead a horse to Kung Fu but you can't make him kick.

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SirDan3k: Jan 6, 2001; Trust me, you are taking this a lot more seriously then I am.

I never understood why people thought anybody but Tony was going to be written as wrong. He's been on every writer's poo poo list since he kicked the door to the clubhouse down and made movies more important then comics.

# ? Jun 6, 2016 12:19

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# ? May 18, 2024 06:17

Mulva: Sep 13, 2011; It's about time for my once per decade ban for being a consistently terrible poster.

He was on the poo poo list way before that. 2008 was the first Iron Man, and 2006 was Civil War and the Illuminati. Then there was World War Hulk. Even before Iron Man Tony Stark was the biggest self-righteous gently caress up running in comics. Christ they had to wipe his memory to get the stink of failure off him slightly, and it didn't even take.

# ? Jun 6, 2016 12:39

burnishedfume: Mar 8, 2011; You really are a louse...

I get Tony wanting to lash out at someone in response to his best friend dying, but isn't Warmachine Captain Marvel's boyfriend? I understand characters doing dumb things out of grief, but his whole rant about Carol not caring about Warmachine's life/safety kinda falls flat when we know that's not true at all.

# ? Jun 6, 2016 13:35

SirDan3k: Jan 6, 2001; Trust me, you are taking this a lot more seriously then I am.

It'll only get dumber from here, five gets you ten Tony tries to have Ulysses killed to stop this.

# ? Jun 6, 2016 13:43

burnishedfume: Mar 8, 2011; You really are a louse...

Also does futurist not mean what I think it means, or did Tony recently become a patron of an old Italian artistic movement? And if it means something else, what exactly because it feels like Tony thinks futurist means "guy who'd prefer the future be better than the present" which I'd kinda assumed every hero felt that way?

# ? Jun 6, 2016 14:44

Mulva: Sep 13, 2011; It's about time for my once per decade ban for being a consistently terrible poster.

It's basically fortune telling for nerds. The study of various disciplines and trends in an attempt to predict future behavior and conditions, to be very reductive about a slightly more complicated subject. Tony being a futurist is literally saying he knows better than you and that's why he takes steps to control things.

# ? Jun 6, 2016 14:55

Gaz-L: Jan 28, 2009

Boogaleeboo posted:

It's basically fortune telling for nerds. The study of various disciplines and trends in an attempt to predict future behavior and conditions, to be very reductive about a slightly more complicated subject. Tony being a futurist is literally saying he knows better than you and that's why he takes steps to control things.

Hence why Hawkeye uses it to make fun of him loving up in the third Cap movie.

# ? Jun 6, 2016 14:56

cant cook creole bream: Aug 15, 2011; I think Fahrenheit is better for weather

wombat74 posted:

This whole thing just pisses me off so I read last week's Squirrel Girl.

How awesome is Squirrel Girl?

Quoting myself from another thread, because I really want to say this again.

Air is lava! posted:

I usually don't really care for comics, but I bought and read those on a whim yesterday. And they are incredibly good! I love the story and the characters and the world building and the humor and the twitter synopsis's and the general positive attitude.

Unlike most heroes, she actually wants to help her enemies get better, because she's a good person, rather than a sociopath who just wants to assault 'bad guys'.

And the Deadpool villain collection cards are incredible!

The art is actually quite nice too. I can see why someone would dislike it, but it's just incredibly fitting. That Galactus panel doesn't really do it justice, though. It's probably due to the helmet.

Huge recommendation from me! I really want her to show up in the MCU now.

This is one of those situations where something is so extremely my thing, that it makes me feel giddy.

# ? Jun 6, 2016 17:52

Lurdiak: Feb 26, 2006; I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do.

DrProsek posted:

Also does futurist not mean what I think it means, or did Tony recently become a patron of an old Italian artistic movement? And if it means something else, what exactly because it feels like Tony thinks futurist means "guy who'd prefer the future be better than the present" which I'd kinda assumed every hero felt that way?

Nerds don't care what words mean.

# ? Jun 6, 2016 18:52

JoshTheStampede: Sep 8, 2004; come at me bro

Futurist means "rich white tech dude who thinks the singularity will happen in his lifetime".

# ? Jun 6, 2016 19:08

Lurdiak: Feb 26, 2006; I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do.

JoshTheStampede posted:

Futurist means "rich white tech dude who thinks the singularity will happen in his lifetime".

Couldn't you just use transhumanist in that case.

# ? Jun 6, 2016 19:17

JoshTheStampede: Sep 8, 2004; come at me bro

Lurdiak posted:

Couldn't you just use transhumanist in that case.

Yes they frequently overlap.

# ? Jun 6, 2016 19:21

Endless Mike: Aug 13, 2003

Lurdiak posted:

Couldn't you just use transhumanist in that case.

JoshTheStampede posted:

Yes they frequently overlap.

They overlap but don't necessarily mean the same thing.

# ? Jun 6, 2016 19:24

Happy Noodle Boy: Jul 3, 2002

JoshTheStampede posted:

Futurist means "rich white tech dude who thinks the singularity will happen in his lifetime".

Well they fight Ultron every other year.

# ? Jun 6, 2016 19:30

Lurdiak: Feb 26, 2006; I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do.

Anyway one of Real Futurism's defining characteristics is that its artistic themes tend to strongly endorse fascism, which is pretty fitting for Tony.

Another defining characteristic is this dog:

# ? Jun 6, 2016 20:05

Mulva: Sep 13, 2011; It's about time for my once per decade ban for being a consistently terrible poster.

A futurist doesn't follow futurism, but futurology. Or futures studies. Or, again, nerd fortune telling.

# ? Jun 6, 2016 20:10

Mr Hootington: Jul 24, 2008; I'M HAVING A HOOT EATING CORNETTE THE LONG WAY

Lurdiak posted:

Anyway one of Real Futurism's defining characteristics is that its artistic themes tend to strongly endorse fascism, which is pretty fitting for Tony.

Another defining characteristic is this dog:

It's my dog!
https://youtu.be/JrjdCfQz8s0

Sad she is a fascist. Always figured she was an anarchist.

# ? Jun 6, 2016 21:25

burnishedfume: Mar 8, 2011; You really are a louse...

Boogaleeboo posted:

A futurist doesn't follow futurism, but futurology. Or futures studies. Or, again, nerd fortune telling.

Does he even do that though? I don't really read many Iron Man books but whenever I see him in other books and in the films, he's never really portrayed as being deeply interested about projections about what the future will be like/what impacts actions will have on the future beyond just what super heroes and people in the technology industry do. Like I guess he likes it when stuff he does makes lives better for people but it doesn't feel like he's ever a character looking towards the future, just a guy who keeps pulling scifi technology out of his rear end here and now to fix here and now problems.

On the other hand Tony's totally my #1 bet for "super hero who actually was a HYDRA agent all along with no mind/reality warping required" so Italian futurism suits him well.

(That said I didn't know about Futurology. It's totally nerd fortune telling but it's still a cool concept :v:

)

# ? Jun 7, 2016 02:13

Gaz-L: Jan 28, 2009

The futurist/transhumanist element is more a thing that Ellis did in his Iron Man run. Fraction also played with it a little, but I don't think Bendis or Gillen really bothered and it's barely relevant in any Avengers/Illuminati stuff.

# ? Jun 7, 2016 02:16

Wanderer: Nov 5, 2006; our every move is the new tradition

It's there with Gillen. Tony and Arno teamed up and tried to build a new kind of city.

# ? Jun 7, 2016 04:16

Open Marriage Night: Sep 18, 2009; "Do you want to talk to a spider, Peter?"

Iron Man is a futurist the same way Batman is. Scarily specific contingency plans. Hickman's Avengers/New Avengers had a good deal of it.

# ? Jun 7, 2016 04:40

PaybackJack: May 21, 2003; You'll hit your head and say: 'Boy, how stupid could I have been. A moron could've figured this out. I must be a real dimwit. A pathetic nimnal. A wretched idiotic excuse for a human being for not having figured these simple puzzles out in the first place...As usual, you've been a real pantload!

I'm pretty sure Bendis co-opted the term for his build up in Civil War 1, and redefined it as someone who predicts what the future will need and then builds that. It's not really explained beyond that and I'm as sure that's about all Bendis got in his reading of a wikipedia article on his phone before he said "gently caress it, sounds cool. I'll use that." His logic in CW was "I see what's going to happen in the future, because I'm a futurist, therefore you need to sign the SHRA."

# ? Jun 7, 2016 10:43

NieR Occomata: Jan 18, 2009; Glory to Mankind.

Spoilers for Howard the Duck but this might be the most amazingly dumbest loving poo poo ever.

# ? Jun 7, 2016 21:15

-Blackadder-: Jan 2, 2007; Game....Blouses.

Boogaleeboo posted:

He was on the poo poo list way before that. 2008 was the first Iron Man, and 2006 was Civil War and the Illuminati. Then there was World War Hulk. Even before Iron Man Tony Stark was the biggest self-righteous gently caress up running in comics. Christ they had to wipe his memory to get the stink of failure off him slightly, and it didn't even take.

Yeah, all true.

They made Cyclops look like a fanatical rear end in a top hat during AvX too.

I remember reading AvX and rolling my eyes at Cyclops' journey to crazy town ever being suggested as a legitimate stance. He had no right to try to unilaterally activate the dormant x-genes of millions of people without their consent. He completely failed to take into account that a lot of mutants not only don't want their powers, and see them as a curse, but end up hurting the ones they love when their powers are first activated. He just acted as if the 14 year old kid who suddenly starts vomiting fire at the dinner and inadvertently burns his own house down with his parents in it, is going to thank him. "Yeah, Cyclops, I just gave my girlfriend terminal cancer because without asking me, you decided to activate my super awesome ability to give toxic doses of radiation to anything I touch. Thanks, rear end in a top hat."

# ? Jun 7, 2016 22:39

Lurdiak: Feb 26, 2006; I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do.

-Blackadder- posted:

Yeah, all true.

They made Cyclops look like a fanatical rear end in a top hat during AvX too.

I remember reading AvX and rolling my eyes at Cyclops' journey to crazy town ever being suggested as a legitimate stance. He had no right to try to unilaterally activate the dormant x-genes of millions of people without their consent. He completely failed to take into account that a lot of mutants not only don't want their powers, and see them as a curse, but end up hurting the ones they love when their powers are first activated. He just acted as if the 14 year old kid who suddenly starts vomiting fire at the dinner and inadvertently burns his own house down with his parents in it, is going to thank him. "Yeah, Cyclops, I just gave my girlfriend terminal cancer because without asking me, you decided to activate my super awesome ability to give toxic doses of radiation to anything I touch. Thanks, rear end in a top hat."

But dude, if he didn't do that, his cultureless, arbitrarily-defined "species" created by creepy alien genetic experiments would've gone extinct*! That's basically genocide, dude. :350:

*Extinct defined as being freed from the horrible curse of being a loving weirdo with monster powers.

# ? Jun 7, 2016 22:46

NieR Occomata: Jan 18, 2009; Glory to Mankind.

Wait, are you telling me that Scott Summers, the Scott Summers, Cyclops, was an annoying authoritarian dick in some way?

W...what?!

# ? Jun 7, 2016 22:48

Yvonmukluk: Oct 10, 2012; Everything is Sinister

Of course, then Bendis starting writing X-Men and suddenly Cyclops Was Right all along.

# ? Jun 7, 2016 22:52

Lurdiak: Feb 26, 2006; I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do.

Hey, modern Cyclops, this dumb cartoon robot has a message for you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCFlYL9RhBM&t=98s

# ? Jun 7, 2016 22:59

Wanderer: Nov 5, 2006; our every move is the new tradition

Toxxupation posted:

Spoilers for Howard the Duck but this might be the most amazingly dumbest loving poo poo ever.

I own a comic where Jay Leno teams up with Spider-Man to fight ninjas, chief. It'll take more than that to even scratch the bottom of my "dumbest poo poo ever" list.

# ? Jun 8, 2016 00:33

twistedmentat: Nov 21, 2003; Its my party
and I'll die if
I want to

From friends of mine

# ? Jun 8, 2016 00:47

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

Toxxupation posted:

Spoilers for Howard the Duck but this might be the most amazingly dumbest loving poo poo ever.

Remember when Howard the Duck ran for president?

# ? Jun 8, 2016 01:12

Decius: Oct 14, 2005; Ramrod XTreme

-Blackadder- posted:

Yeah, all true.

They made Cyclops look like a fanatical rear end in a top hat during AvX too.

I remember reading AvX and rolling my eyes at Cyclops' journey to crazy town ever being suggested as a legitimate stance. He had no right to try to unilaterally activate the dormant x-genes of millions of people without their consent. He completely failed to take into account that a lot of mutants not only don't want their powers, and see them as a curse, but end up hurting the ones they love when their powers are first activated. He just acted as if the 14 year old kid who suddenly starts vomiting fire at the dinner and inadvertently burns his own house down with his parents in it, is going to thank him. "Yeah, Cyclops, I just gave my girlfriend terminal cancer because without asking me, you decided to activate my super awesome ability to give toxic doses of radiation to anything I touch. Thanks, rear end in a top hat."

Black Bolt did basically the same for the Inhumans.

Yvonmukluk posted:

Of course, then Bendis starting writing X-Men and suddenly Cyclops Was Right all along.

I'd say that was more with Kieron Gillen's fantastic AvX Consequences mini, which did a really good job giving Scott a decent motivation.

Decius fucked around with this message at 09:46 on Jun 8, 2016

# ? Jun 8, 2016 09:43

Ferrule: Feb 23, 2007; Yo!

I don't read any x-books anymore. They pop up in other books so I have a vague idea of mutant on-goings.

Are mutant powers pretty much just super-powers now? Like, have they abandoned the whole Bushwacker-Daredevil era thing where some mutants were just really good at violin?

# ? Jun 8, 2016 16:36

Endless Mike: Aug 13, 2003

What do you mean "now"? That's barely ever been a thing other than during a short blip during the Morrison run.

# ? Jun 8, 2016 16:40

JoshTheStampede: Sep 8, 2004; come at me bro

There could certainly be some mutants out there who have non-super powers. But there's fewer mutants overall than there were, the violin player isn't going to show up in a comic book, he'll just go play violin.

Also he'll catch M-Pox and die.

# ? Jun 8, 2016 16:44

Ferrule: Feb 23, 2007; Yo!

JoshTheStampede posted:

There could certainly be some mutants out there who have non-super powers. But there's fewer mutants overall than there were, the violin player isn't going to show up in a comic book, he'll just go play violin.

Also he'll catch M-Pox and die.

I know there's less now.

The violin player did show up in a book and Bushwacker killed her. This was the 80's though.

# ? Jun 8, 2016 16:53

JoshTheStampede: Sep 8, 2004; come at me bro

Some writers find mutations that don't do anything interesting and focus on them. Some don't. I assume those guys are still out there, they just don't show up in the comic except maybe as unnamed background chars at the school, because if your power is that you are blue or have slightly elevated hearing you don't get to be on the X-Men.

# ? Jun 8, 2016 16:59

twistedmentat: Nov 21, 2003; Its my party
and I'll die if
I want to

Let me tell you about a guy named Doug Ramsey...

# ? Jun 8, 2016 17:37

Trast: Oct 20, 2010; Three games, thousands of playthroughs. 90% of the players don't know I exist. Still a redhead saving the galaxy with a [Right Hook].

Cyclops turning into a totalitarian rear end in a top hat is a natural evolution of a normal rear end in a top hat given super powers.

# ? Jun 8, 2016 17:53

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# ? May 18, 2024 06:17

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

Holy poo poo Vision is killing it once again. This issue is amazing and heartbreaking at the same time. The last page....

# ? Jun 8, 2016 18:29

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > BSS: Bisexual Super Son > Marvel 2017: You can lead a horse to Kung Fu but you can't make him kick.

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