[CYOA] Let's Play - The Wizard of Warlock Tower

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > [CYOA] Let's Play - The Wizard of Warlock Tower

Dinosaurmageddon: Jul 7, 2007; by zen death robot; Hell Gem

Blasphemaster posted:

- Find the on-site union rep.
- Report mistreatment of skeleworkers-not-as-yet-unionized, perpetrator having been appropriately murdered, look at us being all proactive and poo poo.
- Ask how that vote went to get in on the west coast SKU pension package instead of this east coast 401K garbage.
- Offer services of cacodemon pal for ranged scab suppression.
- Where the gently caress is the skelecoffee we want to be fired up for this. Not every day you get to bust the strike busters!

Grab your shears and
>CUT Red Tape, taking de facto leadership (as most managerially-qualified skeleton in the SKU currently present).
:hb:

# ? Jun 9, 2016 05:26

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# ? May 15, 2024 20:13

Gridlocked: Aug 2, 2014; MR. STUPID MORON
WITH AN UGLY FACE
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HIS OWN BUTT
by Roger Hargreaves

Also I lost my poo poo at 140

# ? Jun 9, 2016 06:22

Eighties ZomCom: Sep 10, 2008

Yes, I think we should find the union rep, find out more about the situation, hand over the dues while we're at it and offer our help to "mediate" this dispute.

# ? Jun 9, 2016 10:53

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

Gridlocked posted:

Also I lost my poo poo at 140

"Father homosexual, what of it?"

# ? Jun 9, 2016 12:46

Hogge Wild: Aug 21, 2012; by FactsAreUseless; Pillbug

Dinosaurmageddon posted:

We've got ranged minions* and an eye laser. Technically we could just

> Hail SKU Members and
> Provide Freelance Ranged Support

*going by the lore on the cards

Gridlocked posted:

Also I lost my poo poo at 140

# ? Jun 9, 2016 13:53

Saint Isaias Boner: Jan 17, 2007; hi how are you ♥

you people and handing over the dues. also crossing the picket is more of a guideline against scabbing, if you walk in front of a picket to beat up a goblin the union isn't going to hold it against you

ok so looks like we're mostly in favour of helping the strikers without giving it a lot of extra thought. i'll leave it open a bit longer though.

# ? Jun 9, 2016 16:45

Big Black Brony: Jul 11, 2008; Congratulations on Graduation Shnookums.
Love, Mom & Dad

Obviously we support our unionized brethren.

# ? Jun 9, 2016 18:52

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

spacejew posted:

our unionized brethren.

they do seem p salty

# ? Jun 9, 2016 19:38

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

Those goblins are hold our skeleton brethren hostage against their will. We should liberate them from their fleshy prisons.

# ? Jun 9, 2016 19:54

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Join in the chant of your union brothers!

"You got a mine! Where is mine!"

# ? Jun 9, 2016 20:29

December Octopodes: Dec 25, 2008; Christmas is coming
the squid is getting fat!

Support the union with violence! :black101:

# ? Jun 9, 2016 20:31

Saint Isaias Boner: Jan 17, 2007; hi how are you ♥

We'll get down there, engage in our first bit of group brawling, and then look up the union rep if we get time. Update: sometime tonight!

# ? Jun 9, 2016 21:44

Saint Isaias Boner: Jan 17, 2007; hi how are you ♥

Sorry fellers, I don't think I'll get an update out tonight. Another project I've been working on has sideswiped me. I'll redouble the efforts for tomorrow. Sorry about the delay - shouldn't happen too many more times in the next few weeks.

# ? Jun 10, 2016 00:28

I Greyhound: Apr 22, 2008; MusicKrew Dawn Patrol

Saint Isaias Boner posted:

Sorry fellers, I don't think I'll get an update out tonight. Another project I've been working on has sideswiped me. I'll redouble the efforts for tomorrow. Sorry about the delay - shouldn't happen too many more times in the next few weeks.

I blame the Goblin King and his magnificent crotch.

# ? Jun 10, 2016 01:07

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

Saint Isaias Boner posted:

Sorry fellers, I don't think I'll get an update out tonight. Another project I've been working on has sideswiped me. I'll redouble the efforts for tomorrow. Sorry about the delay - shouldn't happen too many more times in the next few weeks.

Have you been scanning books for other forums?

# ? Jun 10, 2016 03:06

Bozart: Oct 28, 2006; Give me the finger.

Outrail posted:

Have you been scanning books for other forums?

No, he just has a heart of iron.

# ? Jun 10, 2016 04:02

Blasphemaster: Jul 10, 2008

That or some bastards in space got more change to ride the space bus again. :v:

# ? Jun 10, 2016 05:54

Saint Isaias Boner: Jan 17, 2007; hi how are you ♥

Bozart posted:

No, he just has a heart of iron.

i wish ( i have it but I don't have time to look at it much)

Blasphemaster posted:

That or some bastards in space got more change to ride the space bus again.

yep.

I did find some of the pages (it's kind of a big update). I'll get them up today sometime and get this unpleasantness behind us

# ? Jun 10, 2016 07:47

Saint Isaias Boner: Jan 17, 2007; hi how are you ♥

So in the next page we're getting into a group fight, the first one in the game. This game has rules for group combat which might be of some interest to the nerdier among you, do you want me to explain it when we get to the update or should I just tell you how it shook out?

# ? Jun 10, 2016 17:37

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

Give us a rundown if you think it's interesting. But not if it's that 'roll 3d6 and turn to the appropriate table' poo poo that goes on for half an hour.

# ? Jun 10, 2016 17:53

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

Saint Isaias Boner posted:

So in the next page we're getting into a group fight, the first one in the game. This game has rules for group combat which might be of some interest to the nerdier among you, do you want me to explain it when we get to the update or should I just tell you how it shook out?

I appreciate the series' Byzantine rule systems, and would appreciate a refresher.

# ? Jun 10, 2016 18:05

Saint Isaias Boner: Jan 17, 2007; hi how are you ♥

Outrail posted:

Give us a rundown if you think it's interesting. But not if it's that 'roll 3d6 and turn to the appropriate table' poo poo that goes on for half an hour.

it's nothing that stupid, I'll explain it and then in future when we pick up mages, cavalry and whatever it'll be clear what we're doing.

# ? Jun 10, 2016 18:20

Big Black Brony: Jul 11, 2008; Congratulations on Graduation Shnookums.
Love, Mom & Dad

I'm excited to see how our demons do.

# ? Jun 11, 2016 01:41

Saint Isaias Boner: Jan 17, 2007; hi how are you ♥

Various things sorted out now, let's continue. Sorry about the delay.

Last update, complete (141):

We are going to blindly charge in and save our union buddies (111):

And we come up against a group of enemies - a squad of goblin cops. The bit below is spoilered for rules chat, skip it if it's not of interest to you.

rules posted:

Group battles in this game work differently from the usual battles in these books. Armies (defined as fights where it's more than one against more than one) are made up of squads which are the four troop types - infantry, cavalry, ranged and mage. Squads pool the ESPRIT and FISTS of all the units although each unit has its own ESSENCE.
Here's our army:

Infantry :
Cavalry:
Mage:

So infantry is 7 ESPRIT, 8 ESSENCE, 1 FIST
Cavalry is 20 ESPRIT, 8 ESSENCE, 0 FISTS. But we're fast, so we can join the cavalry. In group battles you can only take as much ESSENCE as you have ESPRIT. We have 5. Cavalry is therefore 25 ESPRIT, 13 ESSENCE, 2 FISTS.
Mage is 9 ESPRIT, 2 ESSENCE. Demons are glass cannons.

Opposing us is a block of infantry with a total of 32 ESPRIT and ESSENCE and 1 FIST between them. They're also disciplined and armed with weapons that can maul our dudes up.

Rather than explain all the rules up front I'll run through this combat and that'll give you the idea.

Firstly, mages go. They automatically do their ESPRIT plus FISTS damage, in this case it's 9.
These battles are all about ESSENCE damage. Usually you assign injuries to one fighter in the group before moving on to the next but disciplined troops spread the damage out evenly between them- all of the gobbos lose two ESSENCE except the last one who loses 1. If a mage had scorched our guys we would have had to lose one of them. Total ESSENCE is now 23.

Ranged would go next but there isn't any.

Next phase is the Cavalry phase. In the first round of combat the cavalry will fight any enemy cavalry. Once one side or another has run out of cavalry the surviving cavalry will charge into the enemy infantry. In that turn each cavalry gets 1 extra FIST dice. Since there aren't any cavalry around our guys charge in.

FISTS work a little different in group combat - there's a formula for how many FIST dice a unit gets to keep. So it's 1 dice for every 5 members, plus 1 dice for every individual that has a FIST dice. Extra FISTS beyond that are re-rolls - for instance we have 2 FISTS but we still only keep 1 of those. The Cavalry charge gives us +1 FIST but we still only keep 1. The reason it helps is because most units don't have FISTS at all, so it's a huge advantage. In this case we roll 3 dice for the 3 cavalry dudes charging and re-roll 2 of them, giving us a score of 16. Adding that to our ESPRIT it's 41.

Our enemies have only 2 FISTS - 1 for being in a group of 5 and 1 for their Sergeant. They rolled 7. Added to their ESPRIT it's 39. We cause 2 damage which is distributed among the disciplined troops.

The main danger with cavalry charges is that you risk being butchered if they fail because cavalry is usually lesser in number than infantry. This time we did ok.

Now the infantry charge in. The cavalry are now stuck in so they count as infantry from here on out. We add all the ESPRIT and FISTS together - the two dust devils, our dude and the sentry total out to 32. We have a total of 3 FISTS and we keep 2 (one for our character and one for the sentry having a FIST). The goblins are still holding strong and have 32 ESPRIT and 2 FISTs. We roll 11 for a total of 43, they get 7 for a total of 39. We inflict 4 ESSENCE. Still no casualties but they're getting whittled away.

Round 2: the mage automatically hits again. There's no ranged and no more cavalry. We get a very unlucky roll and take a hit for 8 damage! We're not disciplined so we have to assign all damage to one guy before moving on to the next if there's any left over. Since demons have low ESSENCE and we'd lose both of them, and because we automatically lose the fight if the main character goes down, assigned them to the sentry. He's out of the fight.

Round 3: the mage hits again. This time it starts killing the gobbos. They lose their extra FIST for having 5 guys but more importantly their ESPRIT drops. We finish them this round without much fuss.

I know that all looks pretty complicated but it plays fast enough. That's the final set of rules in this game. I think there was a version with a gameboard and little pieces so you could play these battles out but damned if I can find it.

We took out the goblins at a cost of 5 ESSENCE (the ESSENCE you use in the fight is removed from the adventure scroll as usual). Because we're good at raising the dead any of our guys that are knocked down will be fine again after the fight - the only problem here is that they were using hammers, which is bad for skellies. The sentry is permanently injured and has -1 ESPRIT and -1 ESSENCE from here on out. If he gets done like that again he's dead forever.

We won, moving on (271):

I rolled a dice, we can raise up to 5 of these guys:

or harvest them for :

The hammer and shield if you want them:

and

Well, gonna leave it there tonight. Do you still want to hand the money over to the Union rep? Or is there something else we'd rather do?

On top of that what do you want to do with the goblin corpses, and do you want the shield or hammer?

Saint Isaias Boner fucked around with this message at 13:32 on Jun 11, 2016

# ? Jun 11, 2016 02:29

Kilo147: Apr 14, 2007; You remind me of the boss
What boss?
The boss with the power
What power?
The power of voodoo
Who-doo?
You do.
Do what?
Remind me of the Boss.

Hand the dues and poo poo over to the reps ASAP. Raise everyone.

# ? Jun 11, 2016 02:40

Nyaa: Jan 7, 2010; Like, Nyaa.

We need the manpower, raise all

# ? Jun 11, 2016 03:17

ChrisHansen: Oct 28, 2014; Suck my damn balls.; Lipstick Apathy

Kilo147 posted:

Hand the dues and poo poo over to the reps ASAP. Raise everyone.

# ? Jun 11, 2016 03:35

Blasphemaster: Jul 10, 2008

Kilo147 posted:

Hand the dues and poo poo over to the reps ASAP. Raise everyone.

Welcome to the Union! Be sure to rifle through your newly skellified self's pockets for back dues considering said body was smashing your new bros like a minute ago. Union's gonna need to pick up some Gorilla Tape to fix all the broken bones.

# ? Jun 11, 2016 04:24

vortmax: Sep 24, 2008; In meteorology, vorticity often refers to a measurement of the spin of horizontally flowing air about a vertical axis.

Kilo147 posted:

Hand the dues and poo poo over to the reps ASAP. Raise everyone.

# ? Jun 11, 2016 04:28

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

Kilo147 posted:

Hand the dues and poo poo over to the reps ASAP. Raise everyone.

# ? Jun 11, 2016 05:07

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Kilo147 posted:

Hand the dues and poo poo over to the reps ASAP. Raise everyone.

This, but also grab a hammer and shield and upgrade our barrel to an awesome goblin one.

# ? Jun 11, 2016 05:54

I dont know: Aug 9, 2003; That Guy here...

Kilo147 posted:

Hand the dues and poo poo over to the reps ASAP. Raise everyone.

This, also while we have the stewards ear, we should ask about the goblins.

# ? Jun 11, 2016 06:31

Poland Spring: Sep 11, 2005

Goblin arm and shield , raise the rest, turn in the dues

# ? Jun 11, 2016 06:32

Pinche Rudo: Feb 8, 2005

Poland Spring posted:

Goblin arm and shield , raise the rest, turn in the dues

This

# ? Jun 11, 2016 06:44

Hogge Wild: Aug 21, 2012; by FactsAreUseless; Pillbug

Poland Spring posted:

Goblin arm and shield , raise the rest, turn in the dues

# ? Jun 11, 2016 06:56

Leperflesh: May 17, 2007

Funny how this page has a repeated misprint, what with the SKU becoming the SWU. I vaguely remember being confused by one or two other random errors back when me and Brad played this thing, but I couldn't tell you what they were now.

# ? Jun 11, 2016 07:05

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

Kilo147 posted:

Hand the dues and poo poo over to the reps ASAP. Raise everyone.

Yeah why not. It'll make our inevitable betrayal of SKU betrayals that much tasty layer on.

# ? Jun 11, 2016 07:11

Saint Isaias Boner: Jan 17, 2007; hi how are you ♥

Leperflesh posted:

Funny how this page has a repeated misprint, what with the SKU becoming the SWU. I vaguely remember being confused by one or two other random errors back when me and Brad played this thing, but I couldn't tell you what they were now.

My opinion on Herman Skull is that he's a laudanum-abusing hack who barely knows how to spell his own name or where he is at any given time. That opinion got my account probated for a month from the Two-Fisted Forums. There's some controversy about this because of the extended warehouse section in Bilgeton where the warehouse manager won't shut up about Stock Keeping Units and Skull refers to the union as the SKU there as well.

There's the SWW in here as well which Skull sometimes calls the "IWW - bastards!!!" by accident. He had some trouble with them in his Nicaraguan slave press.

E: Here's the adventure sheet from last time which I forgot to upload. The black mark next to the sentry shows that he's injured.

Saint Isaias Boner fucked around with this message at 10:32 on Jun 11, 2016

# ? Jun 11, 2016 09:52

Eighties ZomCom: Sep 10, 2008

Poland Spring posted:

Goblin arm and shield , raise the rest, turn in the dues

# ? Jun 11, 2016 10:31

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# ? May 15, 2024 20:13

FoolyCharged: Oct 11, 2012; Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

Poland Spring posted:

Goblin arm and shield , raise the rest, turn in the dues

# ? Jun 11, 2016 14:11

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