terrible programmers: my god, it's full of chars

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > terrible programmers: my god, it's full of chars

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Space Whale: Nov 6, 2014

BiohazrD posted:

do what I did and get the fck out of austin

I'll be in Broomfield (Denver) in less than two weeks :q:

# ? Jun 11, 2016 03:43

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# ? May 11, 2024 05:46

AWWNAW: Dec 30, 2008

I just got back from there

they have weed and highways and mountains

# ? Jun 11, 2016 04:31

HoboMan: Nov 4, 2010

JewKiller 3000 posted:

Make sure you interview with the person who would be your boss.
Assess your rapport with this person based on first impressions and how the interview goes. Does he seem chill and interested in working with you? Or overbearing and excited to poz your neg rear end?
Take the job only when you have a positive impression.

my pay is not good, but otherwise i really like my job and i knew i would about halfway through the interview with my soon-to-be boss (and also his boss (they are both cool))
really my favorite part is being able to complain about terrible code constantly
also the reminders that there are somehow people worse at this than me

Space Whale posted:

I'll be in Broomfield (Denver) in less than two weeks

say hi to my friend for me

# ? Jun 11, 2016 05:31

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

HoboMan posted:

also the reminders that there are somehow people worse at this than me

i feel this. the guy i posted about before who used commas as a field delimiter? he left all sorts of treasures like that everywhere in our code that i fix constantly, and when he left epic it was to take a job at microsoft. another guy wrote a literal forkbomb that took out a customer's prd environment once and he works at ms too (i wish i could share this story but it would get too proprietary and i dont think i could censor sufficiently and convey the humor).

the moral of the story is all my ex coworkers that i hate probably worked on windows 10.

# ? Jun 11, 2016 06:13

eschaton: Mar 7, 2007; Don't you just hate when you wind up in a store with people who are in a socioeconomic class that is pretty obviously about two levels lower than your own?

anthonypants posted:

Something happened
_{Something happened}

just dump the user to an interactive debugger prompt

# ? Jun 11, 2016 06:19

Wheany: Mar 17, 2006; Spinya^{ha^{ha^haha}ha}ha_{ha_{ha_haha}ha}ha!; Doctor Rope

LordSaturn posted:

I need a method like
code:
public Direction CCW( int x = 0 )
{
	Direction result = ~magic~;
	return result;
}
where ~magic~ is code that considers what grid style we're set to and how many steps to spin and determines the direction to return

I could do this with a big wad of conditionals and recursive stuff but lol to that, so instead I'd need to store a value on each instance to tell it which one it is so it knows what to do. this value could be an enum, but then why did I bother making a class to wrap an enum if an enum can have methods

It's a doubly-linked list

code:

class Direction {
	Direction nextCCV;
	Direction nextCV;


	public Direction CCW( int x = 0 )
	{
		if(x == 0) {
			return this;
		}
		return nextCCV.CCV(x-1);
	}
}

# ? Jun 11, 2016 07:03

Workaday Wizard: Oct 23, 2009; by Pragmatica

LeftistMuslimObama posted:

...
the moral of the story is all my ex coworkers that i hate probably worked on windows 10.

you can't make this stuff up 😂😂😂

# ? Jun 11, 2016 13:00

Bloody: Mar 3, 2013

i dont work with anybody else's code so i dont get these horrorshows

# ? Jun 11, 2016 16:30

GameCube: Nov 21, 2006

eschaton posted:

just dump the user to an interactive debugger prompt

i'm the AIDS

# ? Jun 11, 2016 16:38

Luigi Thirty: Apr 30, 2006; Emergency confection port.

I'm ZMACS, the Zork text editor

# ? Jun 11, 2016 16:51

detroit: Nov 11, 2009

LeftistMuslimObama posted:

i feel this. the guy i posted about before who used commas as a field delimiter? he left all sorts of treasures like that everywhere in our code that i fix constantly, and when he left epic it was to take a job at microsoft. another guy wrote a literal forkbomb that took out a customer's prd environment once and he works at ms too (i wish i could share this story but it would get too proprietary and i dont think i could censor sufficiently and convey the humor).

the moral of the story is all my ex coworkers that i hate probably worked on windows 10.

i worked at there and my terrible programming brought down large multi-state healthcare systems multiple times.... but at least im not at microsoft yet... getting my mba first

# ? Jun 11, 2016 17:04

eschaton: Mar 7, 2007; Don't you just hate when you wind up in a store with people who are in a socioeconomic class that is pretty obviously about two levels lower than your own?

Bloody posted:

i dont work with anybody else's code so i dont get these horrorshows

you make your own?

# ? Jun 11, 2016 17:58

eschaton: Mar 7, 2007; Don't you just hate when you wind up in a store with people who are in a socioeconomic class that is pretty obviously about two levels lower than your own?

Luigi Thirty posted:

I'm ZMACS, the Zork text editor

I'm the Flavor Inspector

# ? Jun 11, 2016 17:59

eschaton: Mar 7, 2007; Don't you just hate when you wind up in a store with people who are in a socioeconomic class that is pretty obviously about two levels lower than your own?

detroit posted:

i worked at there and my terrible programming brought down large multi-state healthcare systems multiple times.... but at least im not at microsoft yet... getting my mba first

you'll fit right in

# ? Jun 11, 2016 17:59

Bloody: Mar 3, 2013

eschaton posted:

you make your own?

yup

# ? Jun 11, 2016 19:29

Soricidus: Oct 21, 2010; freedom-hating statist shill

gently caress, I want a thing that maven doesn't think I should want

I don't think I'm going to win this fight

# ? Jun 11, 2016 23:36

jony neuemonic: Nov 13, 2009

Soricidus posted:

gently caress, I want a thing that maven doesn't think I should want

I don't think I'm going to win this fight

you won't, but maven is probably right.

# ? Jun 12, 2016 00:19

redleader: Aug 18, 2005; Engage according to operational parameters

LeftistMuslimObama posted:

today i discovered a place where multiple fields were being serialized to the server as a comma-delimited string. the guy even took the time to define a constant COMMA to use in lieu of actually typing "," but at no point thought "what if one of these fields contains a comma". 15 years later, when ambulance data on claims gets sent to the server pickup and dropoff addresses are overflowing into later fields if they contain commas.

we do a bunch of csv exports from various things. i'm amazed at how infrequently people ever stop to think 'hey, what if a field contains a comma?'

i'm constantly finding this poo poo in code reviews, as well as other related things like failing to escape stuff when generating js, not url-encoding data properly, etc.

# ? Jun 12, 2016 03:12

redleader: Aug 18, 2005; Engage according to operational parameters

HoboMan posted:

anyways, connection pooling. if I call several functions where several of them are
C# code:
using(a database connection)
will c# take care of optimizing that or do i need to nest all the calls in larger using statement to get them to pool?

ado.net pools connections out of the box, pooling them based on the connection string (and windows identity if necessary). you need to go out of your way to disable connection pooling

msdn has a pretty good writeup on sql server connection pooling, and it looks like a couple of other providers also support connection pools. no idea what the situation is with mysql/postgres/whatever - refer to the individual docs i guess

# ? Jun 12, 2016 03:20

Luigi Thirty: Apr 30, 2006; Emergency confection port.

spent a couple hours today rigging up software timers based on a 240Hz system timer and now i can "animate" the dealer's plays (there's a 1 second delay between cards being drawn) and i feel like a mega-pro

# ? Jun 12, 2016 04:15

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

i made a resume. it was hard to resist including sarcasm. if any of u were serious about interest in this terrible programmer, pm me deets pls.

# ? Jun 12, 2016 06:27

~Coxy: Dec 9, 2003; R.I.P. Inter-OS Sass - b.2000AD d.2003AD

redleader posted:

we do a bunch of csv exports from various things. i'm amazed at how infrequently people ever stop to think 'hey, what if a field contains a comma?'

i'm constantly finding this poo poo in code reviews, as well as other related things like failing to escape stuff when generating js, not url-encoding data properly, etc.

i'm amazed how many people use string.Split like some p-langer rather than taking 20 seconds to download LumenWorks CSV Parser.

# ? Jun 12, 2016 14:00

LordSaturn: Aug 12, 2007; sadly unfunny

LeftistMuslimObama posted:

another guy wrote a literal forkbomb that took out a customer's prd environment once

was this not the story where a guy forkbombed a training server and blew out a customer training environment? it is comically easy to write a forkbomb in MUMPS. like "tag j tag g tag" or something is enough to do it

~Coxy posted:

i'm amazed how many people use string.Split like some p-langer rather than taking 20 seconds to download LumenWorks CSV Parser.

most plangs have CSV parsing libraries, I think. "never write your own parser" is pretty much a golden rule imo

# ? Jun 12, 2016 14:36

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

LordSaturn posted:

"never write your own parser" is pretty much a golden rule imo

except in haskell

# ? Jun 12, 2016 14:50

fart simpson: Jul 2, 2005; DEATH TO AMERICA

except if you mean a csv parser because haskell has some good ones already written too

# ? Jun 12, 2016 14:50

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

LordSaturn posted:

was this not the story where a guy forkbombed a training server and blew out a customer training environment? it is comically easy to write a forkbomb in MUMPS. like "tag j tag g tag" or something is enough to do it

most plangs have CSV parsing libraries, I think. "never write your own parser" is pretty much a golden rule imo

No, this was something related to coverages and it went into their actual prd environment

# ? Jun 12, 2016 15:06

Soricidus: Oct 21, 2010; freedom-hating statist shill

jony neuemonic posted:

you won't, but maven is probably right.

to nobody's surprise, least of all mine: it was

# ? Jun 12, 2016 22:09

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

fart simpson posted:

except in haskell

at the intersection of haskell, verilog, and parsing, there is a terrible programmer

# ? Jun 12, 2016 23:25

Luigi Thirty: Apr 30, 2006; Emergency confection port.

i was depressed because of the gay shooting and i worked on my blackjack thing all day. now i can play (8-bit 22KHz) samples on a soundblaster 16 via DMA yay

i got frustrated trying to figure out how to massage DPMI into giving me a 64KB segment at the start of a memory page for DMA transfer and uhhhhh just malloc 128KB of conventional memory and find the start of the next page inside my memory black and write my sound sample there, then point the DMA transfer to that page

from reading raymond chen's adventures in windows 95 compatibility for dos games, leaking conventional memory like a sieve and doing stupid things with malloc is a requirement for making a dos application

# ? Jun 13, 2016 03:37

Su-Su-Sudoko: Oct 25, 2007; what stands in the way becomes the way

Luigi Thirty posted:

i was depressed because of the gay shooting and i worked on my blackjack thing all day. now i can play (8-bit 22KHz) samples on a soundblaster 16 via DMA yay

i got frustrated trying to figure out how to massage DPMI into giving me a 64KB segment at the start of a memory page for DMA transfer and uhhhhh just malloc 128KB of conventional memory and find the start of the next page inside my memory black and write my sound sample there, then point the DMA transfer to that page

from reading raymond chen's adventures in windows 95 compatibility for dos games, leaking conventional memory like a sieve and doing stupid things with malloc is a requirement for making a dos application

man i don't know if i want to play around with dos like you are now or learn assembly and write something stupid for the 2600 or c64

ill probably just learn elm

# ? Jun 13, 2016 05:40

Bloody: Mar 3, 2013

Captain Foo posted:

at the intersection of haskell, verilog, and parsing, there is a terrible programmer

it's me!

# ? Jun 13, 2016 06:13

Bloody: Mar 3, 2013

assembly is really cool and good and if you've never hosed around with an assembly before I highly recommend it as a computer learning experience

# ? Jun 13, 2016 06:14

eschaton: Mar 7, 2007; Don't you just hate when you wind up in a store with people who are in a socioeconomic class that is pretty obviously about two levels lower than your own?

I can always recommend 68K assembly for good learning and loving around

write something in asm for an emulated Amiga, it has all the weird chips and poo poo like a really fancy 2600 but it also has the beautiful 68000 for making them go

# ? Jun 13, 2016 08:45

Su-Su-Sudoko: Oct 25, 2007; what stands in the way becomes the way

eschaton posted:

I can always recommend 68K assembly for good learning and loving around

write something in asm for an emulated Amiga, it has all the weird chips and poo poo like a really fancy 2600 but it also has the beautiful 68000 for making them go

nice, i'll have a look

been doing this for the past week or so, it's real fun and has piqued my interest in assembly https://microcorruption.com/

# ? Jun 13, 2016 09:11

Luigi Thirty: Apr 30, 2006; Emergency confection port.

stella has an excellent debugger if you want to do 2600 junk

next step: figure out how to play multiple samples at once

# ? Jun 13, 2016 13:07

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Bloody posted:

it's me!

all shitposting aside you are project sounded p cool

# ? Jun 13, 2016 13:10

Illusive Fuck Man: Jul 5, 2004; RIP John McCain feel better xoxo ð ð; Taco Defender

i think the product im working on is going to suck, but it could also just be me. Is there a term like impostor syndrome but for someone who is unable to believe in any project they didn't have complete design control over? because I might have that

# ? Jun 13, 2016 14:05

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Illusive gently caress Man posted:

i think the product im working on is going to suck, but it could also just be me. Is there a term like impostor syndrome but for someone who is unable to believe in any project they didn't have complete design control over? because I might have that

a control freak

# ? Jun 13, 2016 14:16

Stringent: Dec 22, 2004; image text goes here

Illusive gently caress Man posted:

i think the product im working on is going to suck, but it could also just be me. Is there a term like impostor syndrome but for someone who is unable to believe in any project they didn't have complete design control over? because I might have that

yeah, autism

# ? Jun 13, 2016 14:17

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# ? May 11, 2024 05:46

~Coxy: Dec 9, 2003; R.I.P. Inter-OS Sass - b.2000AD d.2003AD

NIH syndrome, almost, but not quite

# ? Jun 13, 2016 14:37

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > terrible programmers: my god, it's full of chars

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