|
bringmyfishback posted:"...[city]'s restrooms have a natural culture." (Note: I asked. yes, this was a bacteria joke.) Gotta admit this is a pretty loving advanced pun for learning English as a second language. Well done, teacher.
|
#
?
Jun 22, 2016 18:21
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 17, 2024 02:27 |
|
|
Any body have kids that read Junie B Jones books? I swear, I have her twin brother. "[5 year old son], are you playing in my makeup?" "Um, yeah. Except for I'm even putting it already away. So, okay?"
|
|
#
?
Jun 22, 2016 19:52
|
|
|
My niece has grown into a real trip of a 4-year-old. She's learned sass. Today she slunk away from her parents in a parking lot to sneak into my car so I would take her home. She closed the door, and when her dad went to get her, she rolled down the window, looked him right in the eye and clicked her seat belt. "Too bad, so sad, I'm already in here." She can also keep a Warhead in her mouth for a whole seven seconds and con a person into making her scrambled eggs with a single smile. Gangster.
|
|
#
?
Jun 22, 2016 22:43
|
|
|
pookel posted:Is it, like, a cultural thing in China for girls to ogle each other's boobs and talk about how much they love big boobs? Or does Rihanna just have a weird boob fixation? I think it's mostly the latter. I do have probably the biggest pair in China. Drunk Asian women my age tend to come over and just snuggle up to them. Judge Schnoopy posted:Gotta admit this is a pretty loving advanced pun for learning English as a second language. Well done, teacher. No, that's all her.  I wish I could buy her a forums account; she would write the most amazing posts you've ever seen. And probably end up in FYAD. Nekodoshi posted:My niece has grown into a real trip of a 4-year-old. She's learned sass. Today she slunk away from her parents in a parking lot to sneak into my car so I would take her home. She closed the door, and when her dad went to get her, she rolled down the window, looked him right in the eye and clicked her seat belt. "Too bad, so sad, I'm already in here." This is awesome.
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2016 03:11
|
|
|
Last night, I was talking to my kids and I asked them what they did today and my 4 year old daughter goes "none of your business, thats what i did today". Her mother and I both started saying things like thats not how you talk to people, dont be rude, etc and she goes "mom i was just being tricking rude, not really rude!"
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2016 15:36
|
|
|
Nekodoshi posted:My niece has grown into a real trip of a 4-year-old. She's learned sass. Today she slunk away from her parents in a parking lot to sneak into my car so I would take her home. She closed the door, and when her dad went to get her, she rolled down the window, looked him right in the eye and clicked her seat belt. "Too bad, so sad, I'm already in here." Yesss my niece was like this. She's now a preteen it's less adorable. I also have a 2-year-old nephew who doesn't talk yet. But if he is mad at you or you try to tell him to do or not do something he will blow you a kiss, wave goodbye, and walk away. It is badass.
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2016 17:16
|
|
|
My little (almost 3year old) guy said the most :3 thing ever last night. My wife was saying goodnight and blowing kisses to him, and telling him to catch them on his way to bed. He caught all of them and said "I'm going to take these kisses and turn them into dreams."
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2016 17:51
|
|
|
BoredByThis posted:My little (almost 3year old) guy said the most :3 thing ever last night. There's no  big enough.
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2016 18:08
|
|
|
BoredByThis posted:He caught all of them and said "I'm going to take these kisses and turn them into dreams." oh my god. That's better than most motivational posters honestly.
|
|
#
?
Jun 23, 2016 21:46
|
|
|
BoredByThis posted:He caught all of them and said "I'm going to take these kisses and turn them into dreams." That phrase is preternaturally poetic, and a pretty sick one-liner to go to bed on.
|
|
#
?
Jun 24, 2016 02:46
|
|
|
BoredByThis posted:My little (almost 3year old) guy said the most :3 thing ever last night. Your kid is a smoothie!
|
|
#
?
Jun 24, 2016 04:08
|
|
|
bringmyfishback posted:I think it's mostly the latter. I do have probably the biggest pair in China. Drunk Asian women my age tend to come over and just snuggle up to them. To be fair, boobs are pretty cuddly, even in non-sexual context. I'd cuddle up to some beeb.
|
|
#
?
Jun 24, 2016 04:15
|
|
|
I volunteer at a local group for children with special needs, and last week we had the news on the tv while everyone went around playing or whatever (It helps reinforce appropriate reactions - something nice happens, this is good and we are happy, something bad happens and we are sad et cetera) and the story about the little kid going missing in disneyland pops up. The kid I was talking too looks at the tv, looks and me and goes "and that's why you should never follow Mickey Mouse into the back room' and I just lost it. Little dude was so serious about it.
|
|
#
?
Jun 24, 2016 12:25
|
|
|
bringmyfishback posted:
I'm begging you to post a picture of this
|
|
#
?
Jun 26, 2016 10:53
|
|
|
My 4-year-old burst in on me while I was playing Dark Souls 3, right as I triggered the Wolnir boss fight. Just for reference, here's what you see when the fight begins. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gtq9ekHPhJE&t=55s I was freaking out because 'oh god it's a giant skeleton monster I'm gonna die', but my daughter was just so delighted. "IT'S A DINOSAUR SKELETON!!"  I flailed around for a bit, dealing barely any damage to the boss, and then it summoned army of human-sized skeleton warriors that converged on me. "AWW, LOOK THE MOMMY DINOSAUR SKELETON HAS BABY SKELETONS!" And then I got horribly murdered. My daughter laughed at me and said "YOU DIED" in the most condescending way I've ever heard her say anything to me. And then she asked me to go fight the skeleton again. Good times.
|
|
#
?
Jul 15, 2016 17:34
|
|
|
At work yesterday, in a ranch/farm store, we had gotten some young bunnies to sell. They were pretty tiny and fluffy and round, white with grey and brown marks. Near midday, my husband came to pick me up, and saw a probably 6-year-old girl standing by their cage, weeping. No parent in sight. He asks her if she's all right (we've both encountered kids sobbing by the bunnies 'cause they were told they can't have one). She nods, and says, "I don't even LIKE rabbits, but they're just too cute!" She didn't want to hold one, or pet one, but their appearance was too much to handle. I mean, I have to agree, 'cause I literally saw 3 separate adults in the store getting teary-eyed when they spotted the babies that day.
|
|
#
?
Jul 15, 2016 19:02
|
|
|
I grew my hair out for about four years and cut off over a foot a week ago. The first time my three and half year old nephew saw me without long hair, he looked up at me, without a hint of confusion, and just inspected my new appearance. After a brief moment, he just nodded in approval, said "You're a man now." and went back to playing with his dinosaurs.
|
|
#
?
Jul 15, 2016 21:06
|
|
|
Irsh posted:I grew my hair out for about four years and cut off over a foot a week ago. The first time my three and half year old nephew saw me without long hair, he looked up at me, without a hint of confusion, and just inspected my new appearance. After a brief moment, he just nodded in approval, said "You're a man now." and went back to playing with his dinosaurs. I just imagine him having just watched Mulan before this.
|
|
#
?
Jul 15, 2016 21:46
|
|
|
Irsh posted:I grew my hair out for about four years and cut off over a foot a week ago. The first time my three and half year old nephew saw me without long hair, he looked up at me, without a hint of confusion, and just inspected my new appearance. After a brief moment, he just nodded in approval, said "You're a man now." and went back to playing with his dinosaurs. I understand it's fairly common for very young children to believe that you can change gender just by cutting or growing out your hair: men have short hair and women have long hair, so anyone who has short hair must be a man and anyone with long hair must be a woman.
|
|
#
?
Jul 16, 2016 01:54
|
|
|
Pththya-lyi posted:I understand it's fairly common for very young children to believe that you can change gender just by cutting or growing out your hair: men have short hair and women have long hair, so anyone who has short hair must be a man and anyone with long hair must be a woman. Also, cats are girls and dogs are boys. I knew at least five kids who thought that way, myself included.
|
|
#
?
Jul 16, 2016 06:22
|
|
|
Culex posted:At work yesterday, in a ranch/farm store, we had gotten some young bunnies to sell. They were pretty tiny and fluffy and round, white with grey and brown marks. Near midday, my husband came to pick me up, and saw a probably 6-year-old girl standing by their cage, weeping. No parent in sight. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6r9cst8OMU
|
|
#
?
Jul 16, 2016 06:33
|
|
|
bringmyfishback posted:Also, cats are girls and dogs are boys. I know some adults that still think according to this schema, some of whom still revert to it even if they've been corrected or actually know, for instance, the cat is a boy. I guess because my first pets since I was a baby were a boy and girl cat and my aunts all had ancient girl dogs I was cleared over that hurdle early?
|
|
#
?
Jul 16, 2016 14:13
|
|
|
In a couple of weeks Im going on vacation to see my kids. I asked my 6 yer old son what he wants to do while im there and he talked a lot about pokemon. I asked my 4 year old daughter what she wants to do and she talked a lot about riding bikes. Then she says she wants to go hang gliding. I tell her shes too little for hang gliding and she picks up her water bottle to show me how good she is at holding on.
|
|
#
?
Jul 16, 2016 14:53
|
|
|
bringmyfishback posted:Also, cats are girls and dogs are boys. I thought like that to the point that when I started learning French I felt sorry for cats because they were le chat (masculine).
|
|
#
?
Jul 18, 2016 02:22
|
|
|
From a friend of a friend on Facebook:quote:Indy locked Everett in a room, trying to figure out how to get him out, meanwhile Ash and Milo are saying their goodbyes to Everett.... "He's going to die" "I really liked that brother" "I love you Everett" lol... back to google to save the baby....
|
|
#
?
Jul 22, 2016 08:53
|
|
|
Dabir posted:I thought like that to the point that when I started learning French I felt sorry for cats because they were le chat (masculine). This is an endless source of hilarity since the feminine form is slang for pussy. No one corrected me 
|
|
#
?
Jul 22, 2016 09:51
|
|
|
Just came from a dinner with some of my girlfriends family and her aunt has a 7 year old kid that is a great comedian. Kid: Knock knock Us. Who's there? Kid: Muhammed Ali! Us: Muhammed Ali who? Kid: I'M GONNA PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE Kid: Knock knock Us. Who's there? Kid: Young boy Us: Young boy who? Kid(in old man voice): [long pause] Don't you miss the good old times when you were so happy and everything was wonderful? Kid: What do you get when you cross a man called Nan with a potato? Us: I don´t know. Kid: A NADATO!
|
|
#
?
Jul 25, 2016 01:59
|
|
|
Liam (my 5 yr old nephew): How come Elias [his younger brother] gets to clean up all by himself? I wanna clean up too! Waaaaa I mentioned to my sister in law that she probably hadn't heard that sentence before, but she had indeed. Apparently it's a trick he does where he cleans up really badly and when told to stop, he complains. Pretty clever!
|
|
#
?
Aug 7, 2016 00:46
|
|
|
FreudianSlippers posted:Just came from a dinner with some of my girlfriends family and her aunt has a 7 year old kid that is a great comedian. Also, these are amazing. Especially the young/old one.
|
|
#
?
Aug 7, 2016 00:47
|
|
|
Facebook friend's 6yo:quote:'Mom, why did the man shoot Abraham Lincoln in the theater? Was he talking during the movie?'
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2016 16:20
|
|
|
My niece was waiting for her dinner, and she wanted to let us know she was hungry. You know that thing presenters do at events, where they shout out each letter of a slogan one at a time "Gimme a B! Gimme an E! Gimme an A!" and so on... She went for "I'm hungry", starting: "Gimme an I! Gimme an apostrophe!"
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2016 18:55
|
|
|
Pretty sure my daughter got this from my wife, but she got me with it last night: Daughter: Knock knock! Me: Who's there? Daughter: Pepperidge Farm! Me: Pepperidge farm who? Daughter: YOU DON'T REMEMBER? Then she ran off laughing. Pepperidge farm remembers!
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2016 19:12
|
|
|
I saw a kid say goodbye to her rubbish before she put it in the bin. "Goodbye chocklit wrapper! Bye! Bye!"
|
|
#
?
Aug 15, 2016 23:17
|
|
|
My (autistic, full of random knowledge) 9-year-old was excited to spot this vending machine in the wild. Can you guess why? See under spoiler. "Look at that font! Look! It's COMIC SANS. I'd know that font ANYWHERE."
|
|
#
?
Aug 19, 2016 21:24
|
|
|
My 2-year-old nephew has an old flip phone that's way obsolete that we let him play with. *acts like he's dialing the phone and puts it up to his ear*Me: Who are you calling, kiddo? I calling doctor! *acts like he's listening to someone on the phone*After he "hangs up", I ask him, "So what did the doctor say?" No more monkeys jumping on the bed!
|
|
#
?
Aug 19, 2016 23:51
|
|
|
taiyoko posted:My 2-year-old nephew has an old flip phone that's way obsolete that we let him play with. I just.. .
|
|
#
?
Aug 20, 2016 00:58
|
|
|
He's just quoting that Five Little Monkeys song
|
|
#
?
Aug 20, 2016 01:40
|
|
|
Kevyn posted:He's just quoting that Five Little Monkeys song You cracked the case.
|
|
#
?
Aug 20, 2016 01:50
|
|
|
"The price of growing up is smaller cookies." This wisdom is brought from my cousin's 6yo, after I told him today at a resturant that when I was a kid, the cookies were huge, and nowadays they are tiny.
|
|
#
?
Aug 20, 2016 02:18
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 17, 2024 02:27 |
|
|
MisterBibs posted:"The price of growing up is smaller cookies." that is zen as gently caress
|
|
#
?
Aug 20, 2016 02:19
|
|
