STAR TREK: Picard's Assimilated Balls

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > STAR TREK: Picard's Assimilated Balls

RVWinkle: Aug 24, 2004; In relating the circumstances which have led to my confinement within this refuge for the demented, I am aware that my present position will create a natural doubt of the authenticity of my narrative.; Nap Ghost

Neddy Seagoon posted:

It raised them any time it went to Warp Speed. Presumably because it looked cool.

I gave a link to the technical reasons a few pages back if anybody is interested. The retarded part is that they needed to set them horizontal for impulse speeds. Aerodynamics don't come in to play in space so they should just stay vertical at all times.

# ? Jul 18, 2016 07:10

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 20:45

Noctone: Oct 25, 2005; XO til we overdose..

i wouldn't trust a klingon chef to cook a pile of poo poo and not have it come even worse somehow

# ? Jul 18, 2016 07:14

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

RVWinkle posted:

I gave a link to the technical reasons a few pages back if anybody is interested. The retarded part is that they needed to set them horizontal for impulse speeds. Aerodynamics don't come in to play in space so they should just stay vertical at all times.

They'd probably tear off in a sharp turn or something. And again; why do that instead of just building a ship with ones fixed in that position?

# ? Jul 18, 2016 07:23

Teriyaki Hairpiece: Dec 29, 2006; I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.

Neddy Seagoon posted:

They'd probably tear off in a sharp turn or something. And again; why do that instead of just building a ship with ones fixed in that position?

Isn't the best idea to have perfectly spherical space ships? Just a bunch of space balls?

# ? Jul 18, 2016 07:41

RVWinkle: Aug 24, 2004; In relating the circumstances which have led to my confinement within this refuge for the demented, I am aware that my present position will create a natural doubt of the authenticity of my narrative.; Nap Ghost

Well that's what I was getting at. Staying vertical at all times means a fixed position. But it gets worse, in later episodes of Voyager the writers forgot the whole reasoning behind the Variable Geometry Pylon because they STILL CAUSE DAMAGE TO SUBSPACE.

# ? Jul 18, 2016 07:47

BattleMaster: Aug 14, 2000

why do you need the nacelles in a "more streamlined position" in space?

# ? Jul 18, 2016 07:56

Squizzle: Apr 24, 2008

Move Along Home is like BYOB wrote an episode of Star Trek and I just can't hate that.

# ? Jul 18, 2016 08:14

Crowsbeak: Oct 9, 2012; by Azathoth; Lipstick Apathy

Volcott posted:

It's not that your religion is wrong. It's just that you, personally, have no one waiting for you in nanoprobe valhalla.

Seriously its the second. Neelix is just that big of a shithead. No afterlife wants him.

# ? Jul 18, 2016 08:56

Iron Crowned: May 6, 2003; by Hand Knit

cheerfullydrab posted:

Isn't the best idea to have perfectly spherical space ships? Just a bunch of space balls?

And the Bridge should be in the center of that sphere instead of on the top and "front" of the ship where it can easily be hit with various types of weapons

# ? Jul 18, 2016 14:43

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

Neddy Seagoon posted:

That reminds me of one of the funniest things from late-season Voyager;

"Computer; Activate the Emergency Command Hologram", complete with dramatic uniform colour change and extra pips materializing on his collar.

Which means a Hologram has managed to have a more successful Starfleet career than Harry Kim.

I'd given up on watching Voyager by this point, so I googled to find out more. Found this on Memory Alpha:

quote:

In the final battle against the Quarren Harry Kim's plan to sabotage three escape pods and detonate them once in the enemies' tractor beams saved Voyager.

Using the escape pods as weapons? That's some sharp thinking, Harry. Not like we're ever going to need those. And even if we do, we'll have had them replaced at a starbase by then, right?

Oh.

Shoulda been an episode where they abandon ship but Harry has to stay behind as there aren't enough pods for everyone.

# ? Jul 18, 2016 14:43

Iron Crowned: May 6, 2003; by Hand Knit

Sunswipe posted:

I'd given up on watching Voyager by this point, so I googled to find out more. Found this on Memory Alpha:
Using the escape pods as weapons? That's some sharp thinking, Harry. Not like we're ever going to need those. And even if we do, we'll have had them replaced at a starbase by then, right?

Oh.

Shoulda been an episode where they abandon ship but Harry has to stay behind as there aren't enough pods for everyone.

Or maybe where all of the escape pods had been sabotaged and they all sploded

# ? Jul 18, 2016 14:47

Teriyaki Hairpiece: Dec 29, 2006; I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.

Sunswipe posted:

I'd given up on watching Voyager by this point, so I googled to find out more. Found this on Memory Alpha:
Using the escape pods as weapons? That's some sharp thinking, Harry. Not like we're ever going to need those. And even if we do, we'll have had them replaced at a starbase by then, right?

Oh.

Shoulda been an episode where they abandon ship but Harry has to stay behind as there aren't enough pods for everyone.

They abandon ship all the drat time, everybody's fine. Also Harry gets killed at one point.

# ? Jul 18, 2016 15:01

GET IN THE ROBOT: Nov 28, 2007; JUST GET IN THE FUCKING ROBOT SHINJI

You know, it just occurred to me that Sisko is like the only guy in Star Trek who actually knows how to throw a punch. Most people do those little palm strike things and they look like total pansies.

Kirk doesn't look like a pansy, though. He just looks.... special.

https://imgur.com/gallery/YGgY0

# ? Jul 18, 2016 15:27

Cthulu Carl: Apr 16, 2006

They all seem to do the double-fist. It's like the only martial arts move Starfleet teaches.

# ? Jul 18, 2016 15:30

Noctone: Oct 25, 2005; XO til we overdose..

Chakotay was a boxer

# ? Jul 18, 2016 15:34

GET IN THE ROBOT: Nov 28, 2007; JUST GET IN THE FUCKING ROBOT SHINJI

Noctone posted:

Chakotay was a boxer

Chakotay was also extremely loving lame

# ? Jul 18, 2016 15:40

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

The double-fisted power slam is a devastating move when applied to an opponent's upper back.

# ? Jul 18, 2016 15:40

Sten Freak: Sep 10, 2008; Despite all of these shortcomings, the Sten still has a long track record of shooting people right in the face.; College Slice

shadow puppet of a posted:

E4 is the gibberish disease of bad acting.
E5 is Tosk.

That is going to be a hard sell to keep hope alive of finishing the season.

E6 is Q and Vache auctioning baubles, which isn't that bad as lots of things happen.
E7 is the troubles with trills, which at least has a legal framework and Judge Bajudy to make it palatable.

E8 is Ray. Oh. Van. Tick. Aaaah.
E9 is Allemeraine and the Wadi gambers.

You are hosed. Nobody can take that much thespian Bashir and still survive to the last shap. I'd normally not say this, but you need to do some educated episode skipping and get out of S1.

I think I read in a ST thread here to watch the first 2 episodes of DS9 then move to the 2nd season. Might just go that route or I'll let her read your post and decipher what to do. We have a toddler so adult TV time is basically precious, maybe an hour a night tops.

What's funny is my wife was a stage actress for most of her professional career. She thinks the acting/delivery in DS9 is very theater-like. And like I said she saw the actor who plays Sisko in some play, no idea what.

Also she noticed the Klingon Klevage in Ep2 where I didn't and I'm all about looking for/at T&A. But so far she loves picking apart the costumes and hair styles.

# ? Jul 18, 2016 16:06

Teriyaki Hairpiece: Dec 29, 2006; I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.

Cthulu Carl posted:

They all seem to do the double-fist. It's like the only martial arts move Starfleet teaches.

Starfleet only trains its recruits on combat in the holodeck, and there's a virus in all Starfleet computer systems where that double fist punch works in combat holo simulations. Most Starfleet people have never been in a fistfight and the ones who have don't tell the ones who haven't that the double punch is stupid. It's like their little inside joke with each other.

# ? Jul 18, 2016 16:12

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

Gammatron 64 posted:

You know, it just occurred to me that Sisko is like the only guy in Star Trek who actually knows how to throw a punch. Most people do those little palm strike things and they look like total pansies.

Kirk doesn't look like a pansy, though. He just looks.... special.

https://imgur.com/gallery/YGgY0

Kirk's fighting really looks best when set to music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CaTOMkHaET4

# ? Jul 18, 2016 16:14

Tricky D: Apr 1, 2005; I love um!

When Kirk reprogrammed the kobayashi-maru he left the double punch = KO exploit in

# ? Jul 18, 2016 16:15

Noctone: Oct 25, 2005; XO til we overdose..

Gammatron 64 posted:

Chakotay was also extremely loving lame

And yet Robert Beltran is the coolest and most self-aware Trek actor

# ? Jul 18, 2016 16:15

Gutcruncher: Apr 16, 2005; Go home and be a family man!

Sten Freak posted:

I think I read in a ST thread here to watch the first 2 episodes of DS9 then move to the 2nd season. Might just go that route or I'll let her read your post and decipher what to do. We have a toddler so adult TV time is basically precious, maybe an hour a night tops.

Don't do that, you'll miss Duet, one of the best eps of the series

# ? Jul 18, 2016 16:26

Blood Shart: Sep 23, 2010

Sten Freak posted:

Might just go that route or I'll let her read your post and decipher what to do. We have a toddler so adult TV time is basically precious, maybe an hour a night tops.

Star Trek is in no way adult TV, strap that kid into a chair and make them watch it.

# ? Jul 18, 2016 16:33

Tighclops: Jan 23, 2008; Unable to deal with it; Grimey Drawer

'Adult TV' is usually just a bunch of dicks being dicks to each other anyway so

# ? Jul 18, 2016 17:12

criscodisco: Feb 18, 2004; do it

Gutcruncher posted:

Don't do that, you'll miss Duet, one of the best eps of the series

Yeah, Duet is one of the best. Be sure to watch that one, then move to season 2. I can't remember if the last episode of season 1 is a cliffhanger or not, I'm sure someone here can answer that.

# ? Jul 18, 2016 18:41

Volcott: Mar 30, 2010; People paying American dollars to let other people know they didn't agree with someone's position on something is the lifeblood of these forums.

So, when you rewatch Babylon 5, you skip season 1 and most of season 5.

What gets the same treatment when you rewatch DS9?

# ? Jul 18, 2016 18:57

Bloody Hedgehog: Dec 12, 2003; 💥💥🤯💥💥
Gotta nuke something

I'll take the TOS double-punch over the TNG leg-sweep.

# ? Jul 18, 2016 20:24

Sten Freak: Sep 10, 2008; Despite all of these shortcomings, the Sten still has a long track record of shooting people right in the face.; College Slice

criscodisco posted:

Yeah, Duet is one of the best. Be sure to watch that one, then move to season 2. I can't remember if the last episode of season 1 is a cliffhanger or not, I'm sure someone here can answer that.

OK that's the plan. I'm going to gamble it all: "We will skip forward to Duet, one of the best episodes. If you don't like it we'll move on to another show otherwise we'll continue on with S2."

# ? Jul 18, 2016 20:29

criscodisco: Feb 18, 2004; do it

From the brief descriptions of your wife, I'm thinking there's no way in hell she won't love Duet.

I can't remember, have you seen it?

# ? Jul 18, 2016 20:34

Sten Freak: Sep 10, 2008; Despite all of these shortcomings, the Sten still has a long track record of shooting people right in the face.; College Slice

criscodisco posted:

From the brief descriptions of your wife, I'm thinking there's no way in hell she won't love Duet.

I can't remember, have you seen it?

Sweet.

Nope - first run of DS9. I'm a casual ST fan. Always liked it, but have only seen bits of all the series here and there but mainly TNG and Voyager. All I can remember of DS9 when it came out is thinking "they don't go anywhere, this sucks" but I was young and stupid and likely mentally impaired at the time it was running.

# ? Jul 18, 2016 20:55

shadow puppet of a: Jan 10, 2007; NO TENGO SCORPIO

I hope his wife gets really into the Tosk episode and it forever taints their adult bedroom play.

# ? Jul 18, 2016 21:04

Hector Beerlioz: Jun 16, 2010; aw, hec

Sten Freak posted:

Sweet.

I'm a casual ST fan. .

Ugh, loving casual trekkies

# ? Jul 18, 2016 21:15

Trast: Oct 20, 2010; Three games, thousands of playthroughs. 90% of the players don't know I exist. Still a redhead saving the galaxy with a [Right Hook].

Gammatron 64 posted:

You know, it just occurred to me that Sisko is like the only guy in Star Trek who actually knows how to throw a punch. Most people do those little palm strike things and they look like total pansies.

Kirk doesn't look like a pansy, though. He just looks.... special.

https://imgur.com/gallery/YGgY0

You could do the Kirk drop kick and chop in Star Trek Online. That game was poo poo but drop kicking a pubbie off a cliff never got old.

# ? Jul 18, 2016 21:18

criscodisco: Feb 18, 2004; do it

Sten Freak posted:

All I can remember of DS9 when it came out is thinking "they don't go anywhere, this sucks" but I was young and stupid and likely mentally impaired at the time it was running.

I thought the same thing. It wasn't until around '08 or so that the Trek thread folks in TVIV convinced me to watch it. I didn't do too much skipping episodes, except for the ones that fills in the Trek thread said were really hard to watch and didn't add anything to the overall story.

# ? Jul 18, 2016 21:22

shadow puppet of a: Jan 10, 2007; NO TENGO SCORPIO

The distribution terms of CBSTrek have been released and are a hilarious mess. Everywhere but the US & Canada gets it over Netflix. In the ancient-style "weekly serial" release format. The first ep will be broadcast on CBS & CTV, with the US then forced into pirating it because the only paid access is through a streaming service that nobody wants to pay for for a single show. In Canada Bell seems to have won the bidding for the streaming rights and episodes will air on Space channel.

"We want money so lets punish our largest markets while we essentially give it away to the rest of the planet in their preferred format just so they'll leave us alone"

# ? Jul 18, 2016 21:23

Germstore: Oct 17, 2012; A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time

I like the concept behind CBS All Access. Cutting out cable companies and allowing consumers to just pay for the channels they want is good. But $6 per month? Nah, man. Nah.

# ? Jul 18, 2016 21:26

criscodisco: Feb 18, 2004; do it

That's for the new show, right?

I'm a huge Trek nerd but that might keep me from watching it. I can't stand watching shows and movies on my laptop or tablet, so I'll have to wait to hear if it's any good before I go through the effort of torrenting it and putting it on media I can watch on my TV.

# ? Jul 18, 2016 21:27

treiz01: Jan 2, 2008; There is little that makes me happier than taking drugs. Perhaps administering them, designing and carrying out experiments that bend the plane of what we consider reality.

shadow puppet of a posted:

The distribution terms of CBSTrek have been released and are a hilarious mess. Everywhere but the US & Canada gets it over Netflix. In the ancient-style "weekly serial" release format. The first ep will be broadcast on CBS & CTV, with the US then forced into pirating it because the only paid access is through a streaming service that nobody wants to pay for for a single show. In Canada Bell seems to have won the bidding for the streaming rights and episodes will air on Space channel.

"We want money so lets punish our largest markets while we essentially give it away to the rest of the planet in their preferred format just so they'll leave us alone"

Maaan this is loving lame. I mean, I was gonna pirate these eventually anyways, but I would have liked to keep up on TV.

# ? Jul 18, 2016 22:13

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 20:45

Apollodorus: Feb 13, 2010; TEST YOUR MIGHT

So, if I teleport - or as we say in Trek, "beam" - my computer to the UK then I can watch it on Netflix, right?

# ? Jul 18, 2016 22:15

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