Fuckman posted:

As a person living on a planet that does not engage in space trade, yes, I need to have it explained why space trade is so necessary and why a blockade is so heinous, especially over such a negligible period of time. I am willing to be generous! Is there a plague where only space medicine can help? Ok, fair play. Do they need food? Why they can't grow their own food on an entire planet? Maybe economics had suppressed local farming! if they had said that even remotely: OK. And thanks to all the waterfalls we see, after food and medicine, already we've run out of stuff that would be such an immediate pressing issue that they literally can't survive without it for a couple of days, without reference to Mega-Maid.

It would also help if we saw a single person on Naboo who was both a) suffering at all at any point from lack of food/medicine/air/Schwartz and b) not a pilot or cabinet member

Fuckman posted:

quote:

as always, my ban history is a wall of being completely right and whimpering idiot trash heaps running to mommy. i am however gratified that large numbers of you have come to accept my inescapable conclusions. i can't begrudge you the time it took any more than i can begrudge a bear time to learn to ride a tiny motorcycle

however, i want you to know that i will probably stop coming back here, because as much as i would like to continue keeping lowtax from having to get a job for 45 additional minutes, i have come to the conclusion that i hate nearly all of you. mostly the hooting gbs posters who are some of the least intelligent people to ever live, the loathsome lawschool fatbodies in D&D who never found an american war or spying program they couldn't crank their gross beagle dicks to, and the cinema discusso posters who are intensely pompous about transformers movies and are essentially the totality of the counterargument to anti-bullying campaigns.

after being banned by the belligerent stupid warmongering weasel childman who desperately needs a grossly debilitating but nonfatal brain aneurysm and goes by the handle "fishmech" i looked around and realized that anyone of value had been banned years ago, as the tall grass gets the scythe. they often went on to fame and legit writing gigs, while worthless crackers like Deteriorata and Evilweasel and all the current moderators clung for a decade on the value of their own angry defenses of consensus and banality while the economically failing zoo opened all the cages to let the animals free as a merciful last gasp of GBS.

anyway i don't want this to be too wordy as i'm sure you've already skimmed it to fantasize about rape so let's chat before some unpaid gas station attendant who has never told a joke in his life decides to ban me

Phi230 posted:

ROGUE ONE: WORST CASE

Rogue One begins with an action introduction.

Zoey Deschanel is under attack by der sturmtruppen. Beard white man sees value in this REBELLIOUS PERSON and 'rescues' her but she gets handcuffed cuz shes EDGY and fights back

She, a random prisoner of Beard Man, Is taken to the main rebel headquarters and shown to the entire rebel leadership for no reason other than she is protagonist

She is given THE MOST IMPORTANT JOB IN THE GALAXY by the clone of the actress who played Mon Mothma.

Thus begins act 1


WE'RE PUTTIN A TEAM TOGETHER

Beard man says. So begins recruitment montage of a bunch of archetypal A Team members.

After feel good recruitment montage, we cut to Angry White Man. He is given job to stop Good Guys. He orders EVIL BLACK PEOPLE i mean MORDTRUPPEN to hunt Good Guys


THUS BEGINS ACT 2

Good Guys take the leap and sneak onto the Death Star and steal the plans. MORDTRUPPEN interrupt before they escape and kill a popular team member and engage good guys

On their escape from the death star which is like a 30 minute action sequence they crash land on MAUI TROPICAL RESORT

THUS BEGINS ACT 3

Act 3 is a 45 minute long action sequence where 50% or higher of the A TEAM dies trying to exfiltrate the Death Star Plans.

The MORDTRUPPEN all die and ANGRY white man gets fuckin choked out by Vader who appears outta fuckin nowhere

Vader is in chase personally now

Whike the A Team flees from Vader; Donnie Yen stops and gives a tearfuk goodbye and tries to fite vader 1v1 and gets fuckin spooked

Zoey Katniss and White People Look The Same are the sole survivors whatever

Beard Man dies in tearful embrace

Edgy white girl is mortally wounded

She delivers the Laserdisk with the Death Star plans as her last action. "get these to...eugh...PRINCESS LEIAH" and she fuckin dies

C3P0 whines about seeing some girl die, and CGI princess leiah says something ominous

The final shot is is a fixed rear shot of the Corvette flying high over loving TATOOINE gently caress YOU with some dark music playing in the background

Literally the end of Halo Reach


FCUJ YOU

Fuckman posted:

Kly posted:

imagine hating a movie so much that you spend $10 multiple times so you can get mad at people who dont hate it as much as you

BravestOfTheLamps posted:

“Adults...struggle desperately with fiction, demanding constantly that it conform to the rules of everyday life. Adults foolishly demand to know how Superman can possibly fly, or how Batman can possibly run a multibillion-dollar business empire during the day and fight crime at night, when the answer is obvious even to the smallest child: because it's not real.”

PBS Newshour posted:

I skip to this page to catch up in thread.. Glad to see I was greeted by the worst post ever.

Jedi Knight Luigi posted:

But this is Star Wars. It should be held to a higher standard

PriorMarcus posted:

Jedi Knight Luigi posted:

Just because it's not real doesn't mean it can't be good. I understand that TPM is a unique movie. But this is Star Wars. It should be held to a higher standard,

Brainiac Five posted:

An emphasis on form over content is, erm, not exactly a sign of intellectualism.

HotCanadianChick posted:

Just as a poorly made script shot with skill and vision may give the illusion of great competency, so may a clever argument delivered lazily and sloppily give the impression of idiocy.

Maxwell Lord posted:

Star Wars, from the start, has run on basic visual Flash Gordon logic. Naboo is a pretty garden world, here's a bunch of machines coming knocking over trees and marching skeletal robot soldiers into cities. This is a bad thing.

Tunicate posted:

The Phantom Menace becomes an excellent film when you realize that Jar Jar is driving the events of the film, and he's also the sith lord.

George Lucas posted:

I think it is obvious that [Qui-Gon] was wrong in Episode I and made a dangerous decision, but ultimately this decision may be correct. The “phantom menace” refers to the force of the dark side of the universe. Anakin will be taken over by dark forces which in turn destroy the balance of the Galaxy, but the individual who kills the Emperor is Darth Vader—also Anakin. The tale meanders and both the prediction and Qui-Gon are correct—Anakin is the chosen one, and he did bring peace at last with his own sacrifice. Luke couldn't kill the Emperor himself, but he could make Anakin reflect on his life and kill the Emperor.

— George Lucas, Cut Magazine, 1999

PriorMarcus posted:

Apparently the cold open is young Jyn playing in a field when Clone Troopers land at her little house, Poggle the Lesser getting out and trying to persuade her father to help build the Death Star and then, when a CGI de-aged Mads has turned him down and killed him Vader coming in, choking Jyn and Mads agreeing to come so long as the girl is left alone.

Proposition Joe posted:

Poggle the Lesser dies in Episode III.

Brainiac Five posted:

Did the EU ever explain who Poggle the Greater was because if not that was a huge missed opportunity.

jivjov posted:

There wasn't a Poggle the Greater. The "Lesser" came from him being born into the lower social caste

George Lucas posted:

The story meanders

Brainiac Five posted:

This is one of the worst things I have ever heard. My god.

Bongo Bill posted:

Why waste perfectly good hate on the prequels, which are good, when the Holiday Special is right there.

quote:

In the 2011 census 64,390 Australians marked Jedi as their religion, up from 58,053 in 2006. This put the number of Jedi in Australia just behind Sikhs and above Seventh Day Adventists.

The Jedi phenomenon began in 2001 when an email campaign mistakenly claimed the government would have to recognise it as an official religion if 8000 people selected it in the census.

quote:

Mr Brennan said there are "many genuine followers of the Jedi way and they're not all nut jobs and ferals".

He said the Jedi belief system includes views such as "all life is sacred", "be kind to others" and "protect the innocent and the weak".

jivjov posted:

It's all cut straight from the first trailer, but we have a TV Spot for Rogue One:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkHtdmWVmzQ

ShineDog posted:

TPM is mostly garbage, but it's not garbage because it didn't explain why being blockaded is a bad thing, good grief.

Fuckman posted:

Actually yes, its failure to connect with the audience and make them care at all is a major reason it failed.

Bongo Bill posted:

The sentence you quoted did not mention the thing you seem to think it did.

Fuckman posted:

Yes it did. The failure of the film to demonstrate the consequences of the blockade is a major reason why it didn't connect and why people outside of the fanboy demographic consider these films boring, terrible failures.

Fuckman posted:

Actually yes, its failure to connect with the audience and make them care at all is a major reason it failed.

computer parts posted:

You apparently care enough to rereg multiple times.

Jedi Knight Luigi posted:

Re-regging multiple times is indeed insane. But the fact remains that the prequels suck. Flash Gordon-visuals are not solely responsible for the original Star Wars series' success, and to ignore the human, everyday relatable elements that made the OT so successful is folly.