"The Hollywood Remake" Soft re-boot thread.

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > "The Hollywood Remake" Soft re-boot thread.

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Pvt.Scott posted:

The female cast Ocean's Whatever remake had better be dykes all the way down. Not a single man or hint of heterosexuality in the film. I don't live in the Progressive Future Wonderland just to see tepid half-measures.

what if you had a few men but depicted them exclusively as dumb, dishonest, morally wrong, really hot, and dressed like they're in a fetish video

and have the women condescend to them while patting them on the butt or something

# ? Aug 12, 2016 17:09

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# ? May 21, 2024 00:16

mrbotus: Apr 7, 2009; Patron of the Pants

Remakes are for foreigners who were living in bombed out hellholes when the first ones came out. Americans don't go to the movies anymore, they stay home and wait for Netflix.

# ? Aug 12, 2016 17:27

Gutcruncher: Apr 16, 2005; Go home and be a family man!

Wouldn't it be cheaper to just release the old films in those places but call them new?

# ? Aug 12, 2016 17:33

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Gammatron 64 posted:

To anyone who liked Kung Fury, please tell me what the funny parts were and what scenes made you laugh, because if there were actual jokes in the movie then I guess I missed them

There's nothing to explain you autist

a kung fu cop flips cars and time travels to the past via surfing virtual reality and fights karate hitler

It's a silly parody mashup of 80's action taken to the extreme (as imagined by modern millenials) not a respectful homage because gently caress the 80's they sucked

"Boohoo they didn't get the tracking errors right" gently caress vcrs man nobody cares

# ? Aug 12, 2016 17:35

skeevy achievements: Feb 25, 2008; by merry exmarx

who would have guessed Paul Feig is not the strong roll with the punches man he makes himself out to be but a brittle pissbaby

http://heatst.com/tech/twitter-allegedly-forces-comedian-to-delete-ghostbusters-joke-because-it-triggered-paul-feig/

# ? Aug 12, 2016 17:45

spit on my clit: Jul 19, 2015; by Cyrano4747

Internaut! posted:

who would have guessed Paul Feig is not the strong roll with the punches man he makes himself out to be but a brittle pissbaby

http://heatst.com/tech/twitter-allegedly-forces-comedian-to-delete-ghostbusters-joke-because-it-triggered-paul-feig/

he got mad at that of all things? it's like getting legit upset at a "your mom" joke.

# ? Aug 12, 2016 17:48

mrbotus: Apr 7, 2009; Patron of the Pants

Gutcruncher posted:

Wouldn't it be cheaper to just release the old films in those places but call them new?

Yeah, but it wouldn't make as much money. Also, they wouldn't be able to inject current Chinese movie stars into big, blow-em-up movies.

# ? Aug 12, 2016 17:56

Uncle Wemus: Mar 4, 2004

Internaut! posted:

who would have guessed Paul Feig is not the strong roll with the punches man he makes himself out to be but a brittle pissbaby

http://heatst.com/tech/twitter-allegedly-forces-comedian-to-delete-ghostbusters-joke-because-it-triggered-paul-feig/

fuckin lol @ twitter and feig

twitter isn't dying fast enough

# ? Aug 12, 2016 18:18

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

What's the term for a company that just keeps chugging along despite not making any money?

# ? Aug 12, 2016 18:20

Klyith: Aug 3, 2007; GBS Pledge Week

ElGroucho posted:

What's the term for a company that just keeps chugging along despite not making any money?

'unicorn'

e: which is really just another word for 'stock scam'

Klyith fucked around with this message at 18:24 on Aug 12, 2016

# ? Aug 12, 2016 18:21

Mahuum Aqoha: Jan 15, 2004; SHEPARD!
Do it for the universe!; Fun Shoe

Is the Twitter service really going to die though? As much as I'd like for them to just pull the plug, they're so embedded in our culture that people call pound signs hash tags and they show live tweets on all sorts of TV shows.

# ? Aug 12, 2016 18:35

Code Jockey: Jan 24, 2006; 69420 basic bytes free

triggering remains the dumbest loving concept

but lol if they really put that dude in timeout and said he could only come out if he deleted his mean words

# ? Aug 12, 2016 18:42

Groovelord Neato: Dec 6, 2014

Don Tacorleone posted:

There's nothing to explain you autist

a kung fu cop flips cars and time travels to the past via surfing virtual reality and fights karate hitler

It's a silly parody mashup of 80's action taken to the extreme (as imagined by modern millenials) not a respectful homage because gently caress the 80's they sucked

"Boohoo they didn't get the tracking errors right" gently caress vcrs man nobody cares

uhh no

# ? Aug 12, 2016 18:47

The Grimace: Sep 18, 2005; Are you a BigMac of imbeciles!?

Code Jockey posted:

triggering remains the dumbest loving concept

but lol if they really put that dude in timeout and said he could only come out if he deleted his mean words

Bardock's said that in the past that this isn't the first time Twitter has forced him to delete his posts

but yeah this is a big case of Paul Feig being an absolute rear end in a top hat just because he can't accept that the world did not want his lovely reboot

# ? Aug 12, 2016 22:52

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Groovelord Neato posted:

uhh no

Why not

# ? Aug 13, 2016 01:49

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

So apparently the plans for a Ghostbusters sequel have now changed to "animated sequel".

Goddamn, that must loving hurt.

EDIT: link - it's worse than I remembered. The sequel is totally dead. The animated movie is a spinoff

"One of which is getting animated show Ghostbusters: Ecto Force, which was announced earlier, out in 2018 and planning an animated movie for 2019. Both are being steered by Ivan Reitman and his Ghostbusters-centered group Ghost Corps."

Ghost Corps? Sounds like some of the early plot ideas. Would laugh like a loon if it turns out a better movie than GB2016.

Megillah Gorilla fucked around with this message at 07:57 on Aug 13, 2016

# ? Aug 13, 2016 07:55

JediTalentAgent: Jun 5, 2005; Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!

I sort of figure that someone will pitch a pilot for a revamped, rebooted, reimagined Ghostbusters prequel TV series with the characters still college students. Gotham meets Ghostbusters and regress everything to them being college students when they first begin setting up an idea to study ghosts.

As it will be such a different direction from the original film and being made as TV reimaging, no one will complain even if they made major changes to how the characters are played compared to the original films.

# ? Aug 13, 2016 09:17

Ork of Fiction: Jul 22, 2013

Mahuum Aqoha posted:

Is the Twitter service really going to die though? As much as I'd like for them to just pull the plug, they're so embedded in our culture that people call pound signs hash tags and they show live tweets on all sorts of TV shows.

They make enough money to keep the lights on, but their stock tanked because their potential for growth is basically nil and their ability to monetize the service is really limited.

# ? Aug 13, 2016 09:50

Lodin: Jul 31, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

Kevin Nash is gonna be Cable, lol

# ? Aug 13, 2016 10:06

Groovelord Neato: Dec 6, 2014

Don Tacorleone posted:

Why not

you don't understand what parody means.

# ? Aug 13, 2016 10:41

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

How many decades until we can stop blaming this movie on men?

# ? Aug 13, 2016 13:54

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Groovelord Neato posted:

you don't understand what parody means.

What does it mean

# ? Aug 13, 2016 16:25

DoctorStrangelove: Jun 7, 2012; IT WOULD NOT BE DIFFICULT MEIN FUHRER!

My sister saw GhostBusters 2K16 movie and said it was bad.

# ? Aug 13, 2016 16:28

Kirk Vikernes: Apr 26, 2004; Count Goatnackh

DoctorStrangelove posted:

My sister saw GhostBusters 2K16 movie and said it was bad.

Your sister must be a bad woman.

# ? Aug 13, 2016 17:27

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

DoctorStrangelove posted:

My sister saw GhostBusters 2K16 movie and said it was bad.

Definitely not an ally. You should get her involuntarily committed so she can get the help she needs to stop hating her own gender.

# ? Aug 13, 2016 22:52

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Ork of Fiction posted:

They make enough money to keep the lights on, but their stock tanked because their potential for growth is basically nil and their ability to monetize the service is really limited.

Pretty sure they are actually bleeding money like crazy, and are only able to stay alive because of investors who believe the company will eventually come up with a way to monetize its service.

# ? Aug 14, 2016 00:09

Germstore: Oct 17, 2012; A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time

Allowing people to hate orders of magnitude more people must be worth something.

# ? Aug 14, 2016 01:34

Dapper_Swindler: Feb 14, 2012; Im glad my instant dislike in you has been validated again and again.

Gorilla Salad posted:

So apparently the plans for a Ghostbusters sequel have now changed to "animated sequel".

Goddamn, that must loving hurt.

EDIT: link - it's worse than I remembered. The sequel is totally dead. The animated movie is a spinoff

"One of which is getting animated show Ghostbusters: Ecto Force, which was announced earlier, out in 2018 and planning an animated movie for 2019. Both are being steered by Ivan Reitman and his Ghostbusters-centered group Ghost Corps."

Ghost Corps? Sounds like some of the early plot ideas. Would laugh like a loon if it turns out a better movie than GB2016.

hahah. nice. eat poo poo sony. you picked all the worst possible choices when making a movie.

# ? Aug 14, 2016 01:42

skeevy achievements: Feb 25, 2008; by merry exmarx

twitter has never and will never make money

http://money.cnn.com/2016/03/21/technology/twitter-10th-anniversary/

# ? Aug 14, 2016 01:43

skeevy achievements: Feb 25, 2008; by merry exmarx

steinrokkan posted:

Pretty sure they are actually bleeding money like crazy, and are only able to stay alive because of investors who believe the company will eventually come up with a way to monetize its service.

twitter has never and will never make money

http://money.cnn.com/2016/03/21/technology/twitter-10th-anniversary/

Dapper_Swindler posted:

hahah. nice. eat poo poo sony. you picked all the worst possible choices when marketing a movie.

fixed

it will be an MBA case study for years

# ? Aug 14, 2016 01:47

Ork of Fiction: Jul 22, 2013

steinrokkan posted:

Pretty sure they are actually bleeding money like crazy, and are only able to stay alive because of investors who believe the company will eventually come up with a way to monetize its service.

Keeping the lights on isn't the same as keeping the staff on.

iirc, they made $350,000,000 last year, which is enough to continue with what they have, but not enough to maintain a large campus full of employees and "improve the service" or whatever they're throwing money at.

# ? Aug 14, 2016 02:03

red19fire: May 26, 2010

Gorilla Salad posted:

Ghost Corps? Sounds like some of the early plot ideas. Would laugh like a loon if it turns out a better movie than GB2016.

Just remembering this poo poo movie come 2018 will be worth a laugh.

Internaut! posted:

it will be an MBA case study for years

From the limited experience I've had with marketing people, no one will learn any lessons, and any possible sequel will just double down on 'go to this bad movie to spite basement-virgin-nerds' because GB2016 didn't engage enough with its target audience.

# ? Aug 14, 2016 05:38

Uncle Wemus: Mar 4, 2004

The Grimace posted:

Bardock's said that in the past that this isn't the first time Twitter has forced him to delete his posts

but yeah this is a big case of Paul Feig being an absolute rear end in a top hat just because he can't accept that the world did not want his lovely reboot

are we sure he didn't break some stupid rule because it seems remarkably pathetic of twitter to do that

# ? Aug 14, 2016 05:51

max4me: Jun 15, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

So will movie studios learn that using gender politics to promote movies doesnt work?

# ? Aug 14, 2016 15:12

Kaiju Cage Match: Nov 5, 2012

max4me posted:

So will movie studios learn that using gender politics to promote movies doesnt work?

I have a feeling they might double down on the whole "If you don't watch this all-women remake of Ocean's 11, you're a racist MRA redpiller who supports Donald Trump and probably posts on /pol/!"

# ? Aug 14, 2016 15:20

bloodysabbath: May 1, 2004; OH NO!

Kaiju Cage Match posted:

I have a feeling they might double down on the whole "If you don't watch this all-women remake of Ocean's 11, you're a racist MRA redpiller who supports Donald Trump and probably posts on /pol/!"

The best part of this poo poo is the knuckle draggers who pop up to spew poo poo like "LOL THE MOVIE SUCKS BUT I LOVE IT AND WILL WATCH IT FIVE TIMES AND BUY ALL THE MERCH BECAUSE HAHAHA ANYTHING THAT MAKES ~NEEEEEEERDS~ MAD IS GREAT."

Like, find something better to do with your goddamn day maybe.

# ? Aug 14, 2016 15:35

Triple A: Jul 14, 2010; Your sword, sahib.

bloodysabbath posted:

The best part of this poo poo is the knuckle draggers who pop up to spew poo poo like "LOL THE MOVIE SUCKS BUT I LOVE IT AND WILL WATCH IT FIVE TIMES AND BUY ALL THE MERCH BECAUSE HAHAHA ANYTHING THAT MAKES ~NEEEEEEERDS~ MAD IS GREAT."

Like, find something better to do with your goddamn day maybe.

They would but their peers in /r/shitredditsays will shun xir for such transgressions

# ? Aug 14, 2016 16:43

Android Apocalypse: Apr 28, 2009; The future is
AUTOMATED
and you are
OBSOLETE; Illegal Hen

Make the loving donuts, Kevin
An Open Letter To Warner Bros CEO Kevin Tsujihara About Layoffs, Zack Snyder, and Donuts

quote:

When I left my screening of Suicide Squad last week, I was angry. I was annoyed and let down and frustrated as well, but mostly I was just angry.
Look, I�m a big dork. So of course I thought this trainwreck of a movie did a major disservice to the characters, concept, cast, and crew, but that wasn�t why I was mad. Yes, it is unfathomable to me that Warner Bros could mess up a movie starring Will Smith, Margot Robbie, and The Joker so completely. But that just had me flummoxed.
I was angry because I couldn�t stop thinking about you, Kevin Tsujihara.
A lot of fans might be angry (and rightfully so) because you keep completely whiffing at properties that they are desperate to love and enjoy, but this is a little more personal for me. See, I am a former Warner Bros employee. I have so much respect for your studio. I love every square inch of that magical backlot, from Stars Hollow to the fitness center I always meant to use. The people I worked with during my time with your company are now close friends. On my last day, I hugged them and I told them I loved them.
I was also there in 2014, when you made the decision to lay off 10 percent of your workforce. It was a terrible year. Let me catch you up: Every morning I woke up with a pit in my stomach, because I assumed that would be the day I lost my job. Every day I saw someone packing up their desk, or carrying a box to their car. I can not describe to you the relief I felt when my department was told we were safe, or the guilt I felt afterwards walking through the halls of my office with that relief.
But out of all that, the thing that really sticks with me is the memo you sent to all of us. Let me refresh you on my favorite part:
I wanted you to hear directly from me about our plans for the studio. In recent days, we have started to hear rumors here at the company and to read misinformation in the press, so I�d like to set the record straight. I know that the hard work and dedication of every employee around the world is the key to Warner Bros.� success, and I am sorry for the distraction this situation brings to the workplace.
At Warner Bros., we work with the world�s most extraordinary storytellers, and our focus has always been to provide the creative environment and financial resources they need to realize their vision. Our commitment to that won�t change. In fact, we�re investing more than ever in our film and television productions.
This is how you opened a memo about layoffs. �Hey guys, we work hard for the people telling stories here and we want to make sure those visions are realized.� The balls on you.
That year we pursued the storytelling vision of Adam Sandler�s Blended and Clint Eastwood�s Jersey Boys. Failures. We pursued a potentially great summer movie like Edge of Tomorrow and completely botched its release. Same with Man From UNCLE. We dug in our heels and hoped The Hobbit Trilogy would somehow stop being a mediocre case of diminishing returns. Talented, loyal people packed their boxes and went home while your story tellers dropped the ball.
One could argue that this was not your fault. That you inherited former CEO Barry Meyer�s agenda and were merely trying to correct the course of an ocean liner heading for an iceberg.
I would not make this argument. And here�s why: I wrote this letter last year. I actually started forming it in my head after Man of Steel was a box office failure instead of the modern classic tentpole you were expecting.
I kept holding off on doing anything with it because of one title: Suicide Squad. Zack Snyder�s Dawn of Justice was a fiasco, but here comes this plucky little dark adventure about antiheroes. I love David Ayer. I love Harley Quinn. I love Will Smith. Put the letter in a drawer. The ship isn�t sinking anymore. Everything is fine. There�s no way this movie is bad.
And here we are. I got back from my screening and dusted this sucker off. You, your executive team, and the vision of your �extraordinary storytellers� that resulted in the loss of around one thousand jobs seem intent on crashing the ship into as much poo poo as you can find in the ocean by making inane decisions over and over again.
Zack Snyder is not delivering. Is he being punished? Assistants who were doing fantastic work certainly were. People in finance and in marketing and in IT. They had no say in a movie calledBatman V Superman only having 8 minutes of Batman fighting Superman in it, that ends because their moms have the same name. Snyder is a producer on every DC movie. He is still directing Justice League. He is being rewarded with more opportunity to get more people laid off. I�m assuming you yourself haven�t been financially affected in any real way. You and your studio are the biggest lesson about life one can learn: The top screws up and the bottom suffers. Peter Jackson phones it in and a marketing supervisor has to figure out a plan B for house payments.
Your uneven Hall H presentation at Comic Con this year was a ridiculous mess that ranged from rushed to boring. When Marvel announced their full slate of films with a fun fan event several years ago, you announced yours on a shareholder conference call.
You just don�t get it. And it�s not just DC movies, it�s your whole slate. Jupiter Ascending. Get Hard. Hot Pursuit. Max. Vacation. Pan. Point Break. loving PAN, you jerk. People lost their jobs and you decided Pan was a good idea. You think another Jungle Book is a good idea.
What are you even doing? I wish to God you were forced to live out of a car until you made a #1 movie of the year. Maybe Wonder Woman wouldn�t be such a mess. Don�t try to hide behind the great trailer. People inside are already confirming it�s another mess. It is almost impressive how you keep rewarding the same producers and executives for making the same mistakes, over and over.
If I worked at a donut stand, and I kept loving up donuts, I�d be fired. Even if I made a tiny decent one every now and then, it doesn�t matter. I�m gonna get fired.
I love that studio, and you�re allowing it to sink. It�s not about making movies for �the fans� and not �the critics.� It�s not even about �ruining childhoods.� It�s about protecting livelihoods.
It�s time to wake up and make the loving donuts, Kevin.

TL;DR guy points out how the guys at the top keep their jobs even when they gently caress up while the plebes at the studio get laid off.

# ? Aug 14, 2016 17:59

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Android Bicyclist posted:

Make the loving donuts, Kevin
An Open Letter To Warner Bros CEO Kevin Tsujihara About Layoffs, Zack Snyder, and Donuts

TL;DR guy points out how the guys at the top keep their jobs even when they gently caress up while the plebes at the studio get laid off.

Sounds like WW is gonna suck if that guy is telling the truth

# ? Aug 14, 2016 18:13

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# ? May 21, 2024 00:16

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

No but seriously fire Zack Snyder

Paul Feig appears to be facing some fallout now and his career is hurt if not crippled, and that's great, but Snyder needs to follow suit and fast

# ? Aug 14, 2016 18:55

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